Monday, December 29, 2008

Two Days For Tuesday

This post took me two days to finish writing, but like I always say, better late than never. It makes me feel better about being late.

1. O-town! I guess it's kind of a big deal about the Detroit Lions going 0-16. I like the post-game quotes about how much this sucks. I don't know what changed between 0-15 and 0-16, and hey, at least they were consistent. I don't really see why you go down in history for losing all of the games vs. going 1-15. They're equally as awful, just the one loss doesn't get as much press (or puns). Look at the Miami Dolphins, they were 1-15 and now they're going to the playoffs. Miracles do happen. Maybe not on the Lions, but they happen to other people . . . (On a sidenote, I know my blog has infiltrated my mind because I hear the words "playoffs" and "practice" and automatically think of Jim Mora and Allen Iverson, respectively. Am I alone in this?)

**UPDATE** - Lions' coach Rod Marinelli got the boot on Monday. But Marinelli still managed to sound as positive and upbeat as the day he took the job. He truly seems like a good guy, and I wish him all the best down the road. As for the Lions, I'll deal with them again right before the next season.

2. Speaking of being in need of a miracle, WHAT was that crap the Dallas Cowboys laid on the field today against the Philadelphia Eagles (aka, the Iggles)? So you have a golden opportunity to get into the playoffs (via the wild card game, and after several other improbable wins by other teams) and what do you do? Get blown out, and help some guy (or gal) clean up in the final week of fantasy football. It appears the Lions loss made enough headlines to knock the Cowboys off of the front page, despite the colossal failure that was this game. But if I had to choose to be a Cowboy or a Lion . . . well, I'd still be a Cowboy because who the heck wants to be in the Hall of ShFame for losing every game in a seaon, but the Cowboys is a close -- nope, it's still a distant second, but it's fairly embarrassing and it also sucks. To add insult to injury, Tony Romo collapsed in the shower after the game following a rib injury sustained during the game that affected his breathing. Hmm . . . well, I guess if your team is going to have as many turnovers and mistakes as the Cowboys had, then it softens the blow to get your own butt individually kicked, too. Way to take one with the team.

3. One team might be slightly more pissed than the Cowboys: the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who fell in fantastic form to the Oakland Raiders. A game which even very-involved Raiders owner Al Davis skipped because he thought it was a lost cause. Maybe it doesn't matter if you lose every game or if you win most of them if you both end up sitting at home in January . . .

4. Mike Singletary now has a permanent home (well, through the first few games of next season) with the San Francisco 49ers. Congrats to him. It's nice to know that mooning your employees is not fatal to one's career advancement.

5. Moving away from football for the moment, my "friend" - I use that term loosely because he is a fan of both LeBron and the man I am about to mention - put me on to this video of Kevin Garnett being interviewed by John Thompson. It's no secret that I have never been a big KG fan, mainly because he seemed to be a whiner, which is the quickest way to get yourself on Pleats 'n Cleats' Least Fave 5. But after watching this, I'd have to say he is either a really good actor or has the heart of a lion. I certainly can't hate on that.



Maybe he's not so bad after all . . .

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Running Through My Mind

A few random musings (I wrote this several days ago and just never got around to posting):

1) NBA firings are apparently at an all-time high for this point in the season. Six coaches have been given their walking papers and we're barely 1/4 into the season. The chopped list includes: Reggie Theus by the Sacramento Kings, Maurice Cheeks by the Philadelphia 76er's, Eddie Jordan by the Washington Wizards, Sam Mitchell by the Toronto Raptors, Randy Wittman by the Minnesota Timberwolves, and P.J. Carlesimo by the Oklahoma City Thunder. I agree with cutting off the head sometimes, but for most of these, I really think they coach was a scapegoat, covering up the real, massive problem: the team sucks. I won't elaborate on which coaches I think needed to go (to protect the innocent) but suffice it to say that this is a short term solution to a problem that goes way deeper than the head coach. Almost all of these teams are underachieving, and one literally just started a few months ago. Is it the economy? Lack of fans? Whatever the reason, firing the coach this early is akin to throwing in the towel for the year, and, frankly, it's just not very creative . . . especially the Kings who waited for five other heads to roll before he got the boot in the back. What followers.

2) Have I ever mentioned how much I love Stephon Marbury? He is the only guy in the league who would buy a front row ticket to a game in which he is being paid to play but the team doesn't want him. Seriously, the only one. Maybe Latrell Sprewell would have pulled such a move back in his day but other than that, I can't think of anyone. I caught his interview at the game, and he did one of my favorites: "me, myself . . ." I never understood what that means, I guess it's sort of like "um" for the urban set. He really keeps things interesting.

3) Allen Iverson was fined for "making inappropriate comments" to a fan during a Detroit Pistons visit to the Charlotte Bobcats, a game which the Pistons eventually won. I wonder if these guys budget for fines and suspensions . . .

4) So the Atlanta Hawks weren't a fluke and really do have something close to a legitimate response to the Boston Celtics. I will admit that the Celtics have really been impressive. I didn't like the idea of throwing a bunch of superstars together just to win a championship, but by golly, it worked. Two stars may not be enough, but three is solid, especially if one of them is a 7 foot shooter. But the Hawks almost beat them and looked good doing it. I'll have to continue to monitor this as the season develops . . .

5) I've been saying this for a long time, and now I'm finally going public with it. Twins?

Stuart from Mad TV:




Tyler from UNC:

Monday, December 15, 2008

GYGM: Kick Off Your Sunday Shoes

In honor of our current-soon-to-be-former POTUS, I present you with . . . Footloose.

I couldn't resist.

MYSM: W's On My Dodgeball Team

I've made a poor showing these past few weeks. This week should be better, today not included.



Today's "make ya smile" offering made me cry the first time I saw it. I assume you've all seen it but there's no way that I could let this go without posting it here.

Some of you may be saying, "Hey, PnC, this is not sports related. What's it doing on MYSM?" Ah, I'd have to disagree. While Dubya's quick moves were not part of a sporting event, this is easily one of the most athletic moves that I've had the pleasure of posting on a Monday - or maybe that I've ever seen. That shoe was going at a nice clip, Bush could have been bloody if not for his cat-like reflexes. I especially like how the second shoe didn't phase anyone.

The Secret Service must have been asleep at the wheel.

Happy Monday!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Running Back

So I've had quite a last few months, hence the lack of posts. I responded to a comment on my Plax post so check it out and jump in the conversation if you feel so inclined.

I have a few moments so I thought I'd do a little running on some random ruminations:



1) Joey Porter came to the defense of Plaxico Burress. During an interview that's set to appear on ESPN tomorrow (but I found it for you), Porter says that carrying a gun is essential as an NFL player, and when asked whether he carried a gun, he stumbled a bit over the answer but he admitted that he did, and that his interviewer should, too, if he cares about his family. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell's take on it? He says (I'm paraphrasing) that if you're in a place where a gun is necessary, then you should leave that place. Hmm . . . so does that count for what happened to Sean Taylor? I might need to do a separate post on this, but I think his statement's a tad ignorant, in the truest sense of the word. I guarantee the same people coming after Goodell aren't coming after Porter and Burress.

2) This Stephen Curry kid (how the heck do you pronounce his name, really? Found it: STEFF-in) is just about the sweetest looking basketball player I've ever seen. By sweet, I mean like nice and sweet - not "sweet," but he is that, too. (And not that kind of sweet). He doesn't even look like he's trying and then he just launches these shots from out of nowhere. I always wonder about guys who are wildly popular in college (i.e., J.J. Redick) and whether translate into NBA success (no). It's a possibility but for some reason, I can't picture him in an NBA uniform. I think it's the face.

3) Going back to the NFL for a moment - I'd heard that sports probably wouldn't be safe during this recession. Now, the NFL is laying off 150 folks. What, not enough fines this year to keep your people employed? The "funny" part is that the layoffs are due to an anticipated downturn in ticket sales for next season. I'm all for forecasting and all that jazz but I think this might be a little premature. Of course, I'll concede the NFL has tracked ticket sales in recessions and might know more than I do . . . but a lot can happen in a year. It's almost Christmas! And we thought NFL = "not for long" referred to just the players.

4) I missed the Oscar De La Hoya fight (he fought alleged marquee boxer Manny Pacquiao . . . I concede the boy is good. Happy?) on Saturday night but from all accounts, that should really have been the Golden Boy's swan song. I caught a little bit of the bout and he looked pretty slow and tired out there. Although he rallied against Floyd Mayweather last year, he clearly has lost the goods that warranted him even a decision in the Felix Trinidad fight (wow, that was nine years ago - I remember where I was when I watched it). Now, he's just messing with his legacy. I know he'll miss the money, but he's still a young man, and I think still pretty enough to sell more than just grills and get paid handsomely (no pun intended) for doing so.

5) I'm cheating, I know, this isn't a story, but I missed MYSM, so I'm sharing. The move or the commentating - I'm not sure what's better. Please, Derrick, don't hurt 'em!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

WTH: Plax Doesn't Just Kill Germs


Man. So I finally have a chance to write and this is what I'm given? You mean another football player shoots himself in the legfoot and potentially ruins his career?

Football is an unforgiving sport for a lot of reasons. One, the contracts are not guaranteed. Two, the playing-life span is incredibly short. And three, your career can end in a matter of moments. Unfortunately for several players in recent years, it's not just because of the hard hits.

It's amazing to me how your whole life can change in an instant. If you think back, there are probably only one or two pivotal moments in your life where if things had gone differently, you would not be where you are today (for better or for worse). The tough part is that you never know until it happens when you're having one of those moments.

So here we have Plaxico Burress - and potentially Antonio Pierce - who shot himself in a night club. Allegedly, the gun fell out of his pant leg after it accidentally went off, and Pierece tried to help him hide it - which seems to suggest they knew he wasn't supposed to have it. Considering that Plax's not even walking with a limp, this wouldn't have been so bad if not for the fact that he allegedly had an expired, out of state (this latter fact is all that matters in NY) permit for the gun. Now, he's being charged with two counts of criminal possession of a weapon that carry a minimum sentence of 3.5 years per count.

Here's my lawyer break down for those who want to know: Under New York law, he could be found guilty if the prosecution can prove that he knowingly possessed a loaded firearm with intent to use the firearm unlawfully against another (one count) or if it can be proven that he knowingly possessed a loaded firearm outside of his home or place of business (second count).

Well, Burress did one smart thing: He hired the lawyer who got Sean "Diddy" Combs off on his night club weapon charges. That lawyer is Ben Brafman, a.k.a. this generation's Johnnie Cochran.

From what I know of the facts, I don't really see the first charge sticking. Was he really trying to hurt someone else? I don't see this being proven beyond a reasonable doubt. The second one seems more uncertain. Although Mayor Bloomberg is talking big talk, I believe in this Brafman guy, and I'm not sure that this should be the "set the example" case that the mayor would like it to be. That law is pretty tough on its face with its minimum 3.5 year sentence, and this is not really the type of situation it was meant to prevent. Talk about adding insult to injury.

Alright, kids, this one is not quite the same as the Michael Vick situation, because I understand the need to carry a weapon when you're a high profile athlete out and about, and this wasn't a case of hanging out with the wrong crowd (unless being bad for your own health counts). But there is still a huge lesson to be learned. If you're carrying a weapon outside of the state where you got your permit, you really ought to know the laws because every state (and even some cities within a state) is different, and it's quite likely that you'll end up in a situation like this one, even if you don't literally shoot yourself in the process.


The other lesson here is that nothing "good" happens when you're out after 1 a.m. You can continue to stay out later all you want . . . just know this is true, especially if you're married with children. And if your wife and child are going to be affected by your actions, then all I'd ask is that you please think three times (once for you, once for her, and once for the kids) before you decide to take a risk. It's probably not worth it.

I haven't even covered any potential NFL sanctions. Right now, he's facing some serious state charges, and, as with Michael Vick, what happens in the NFL will be dependent upon what happens in court. The Giants didn't seem to miss him too much on Sunday, and they will probably go on without him, although maybe with not as much "gusto."

And as for Antonio Pierce - well, he got to play on Sunday, and hopefully for the Giants sake he will continue to have that opportunity.

To all the other professional athletes out there - you've been warned. Again. You spend your entire life working for this dream. Don't kill it with one thoughtless decision.
Let's raise the level, folks. Our President-Elect is counting on you.

Monday, December 1, 2008

GYGM

Prince Rogers Nelson. "Kiss." He is truly the only man in the world who could ever get away with this and still be considered straight. Ever.

Ever.

Turn it up!

Quickie: What's the Answer?

(Note: If I already told you this story, you are NOT allowed to guess! I know, I know . . . there IS a downside to being in my entourage.)

Unfortunately, this is all I have time for these days. But I keep having anonymous run-ins with "greatness" so I thought I'd share with you all.

This one is probably entirely too easy, so I'm not giving too many clues.

Recently, I ran into this NBA superstar in a place where he's not normally known to be . . . at the casino. I wasn't gambling, but from the looks of it, he probably wished he hadn't been either. This could be due to some other issues, even though his team had actually won just a few hours before, and he had a pretty good game. He hasn't put up his usual superstar numbers recently, but he's due.

The one thing I really like about this guy is that, love him or hate him, he is and always will be a man of the people. Because while some of his superstar counterparts were probably also at the casino that night, they certainly were not sitting where our man was . . . with the common folk. Blinged out, yes, but in the dead center of the casino at the poker table. A serious crowd had begun to form, but he didn't seem to care. It's not like he couldn't afford to sit in the baller's room, but from my experience, that's just not his style.

MYSM: My Buddy

I love parodies where adults really take it to kids. Hopefully you do, too.

Happy Monday!

Monday, November 24, 2008

GYGM: Frontin' Has No Future

Another oldie but goodie.

RIP, MC Breed!


Be thankful for what you have, folks! Happy Monday!

MYSM: Give Steve A Hand

An oldie but goodie. The Crocodile Hunter has a run-in with the Florida Gator.

RIP, Steve Irwin!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Quickie: Terry Porter Ain't Got No Rings

I try to avoid discussing my personal experiences so as to protect the innocent (and the guilty) but this one was completely anonymous and worth sharing.

I was out and about the other night, standing at the top of the stairs of a restaurant when I saw what looked to be an older basketball player coming up the stairs toward me. As he got a little closer, I said to myself - which ended up being out loud - "Oh, that's Terry Porter!"

The response from "Terry Porter" as he ascended the stairs: "You must be drunk, baby!" (I hadn't had a drop of alcohol)

The man next to me quickly makes the correct identification: "It's [insert name of (way) former role player who won several NBA championships alongside a superstar]!"

(I won't out him since I don't want to start any trouble)

Yes, upon further inspection, the man next to me was right. So "way former role player" ("WFRP") says to me, just to make sure I never got it confused again: "Terry Porter? Terry Porter ain't got no ___________ rings!"

I apologize, WFRP, you're right. I should have looked for rings. That would have totally cleared things up.

But mostly, I apologize to nice guy Terry Porter for getting him confused with this character. People really crack me up . . .

GYGM: Outstanding

Shaq's more than a shover, he was a humble rapper at one point, too.

I'm not entirely convinced that's actually his voice . . .

MYSM: Quit Pushing

I can't even fake like I've had time to watch sports these past few weeks. My apologies! Hopefully, I will be able to catch up soon, and have something to say about anything. Today is not that day.

NBA fights are usually pretty weak given that none of them a) are used to throwing punches much less taking them, at least not since they were the close to the same height as the rest of the general population (age 2), and b) nobody's trying to lose that much money being suspended.

This fight took place during the Houston Rockets - Phoenix Suns game last Wednesday, and a bunch of folks got suspended (Rafer Alston, Matt Barnes, Steve Nash) and fined (Shaquille O'Neal, Tracy McGrady). Although no real punches were thrown, this warranted MYSM status based solely on how Shaq singlehandedly ended the fight with a few monster shoves. Although T Mac's "stomp that almost was" on Steve Nash's chest is a close second. Nash almost died, but Sheriff Shaq's shove saved his life. And for that he should be forever grateful.

Happy Monday!

Monday, November 10, 2008

MYSM: Greg Oden's ESPN Commercial

When work lightens up, hopefully Pleats 'n Cleats will return to regularly scheduled programming. Until then . . .

Unfortunately, we've seen more of Greg Odwn in ads than we have on the court, but this is an oldie but goodie, plus behind the scenes footage. I'm still looking for that NBA promo commercial with Dwight Howard!

Happy Monday!

Monday, November 3, 2008

AI to the D



Ok, ok. Several of you have asked so I think I can take a two minute break from the Barack Obama campaign to give my two cents on this Detroit Pistons-Denver Nuggets trade, so here goes:

If you've followed my work here, you know that I'm a firm believer in blowing things up and starting all over again. You may not know that that goes for whether the team is good but not quite good enough, or very awful. The Pistons fall into the former category. Consistently very good but not quite good enough. Personally, I don't care if you win all 82 games in the regular season and lose in 7 games in the NBA Finals - that's not my idea of a good team. If you're getting that close every year and can never seal the deal, you need to try something new. And if you start out on a high and then get progressively less good every year, that's even worse.

So I would have blown up the Pistons a few seasons ago, like 2005 a few seasons ago. They haven't really added or subtracted anyone of substance since they won in 2004, but yet expected that they'd somehow just up and figure it out. Well, I am glad they figured out early in this season that if they want to get to the top, they're going to have to take some drastic measures.

What did the Pistons lose? Not too much, in my opinion. In face, I may get jumped on for saying this, but I think Antonio McDyess is a bigger loss than "Mr. Big Shot" - whose shot has been M.I.A. longer than he's had that nickname. At least McDyess provided consistent inside scoring and solid defense, and he played hard every game - but he is getting up in age. Now, I know Billups had become Mr. Detroit, welcoming Obama instead of the mayor of Detroit, but I think it was time for him to go. Billups was inconsistent in terms of output and effort. The name Mr. Big Shot was only befitting if we're talking about shots he wasn't making, and on top of that, his shot selection became increasingly suspect. The irony of this trade is that the Pistons got rid of one gunner and picked up an even bigger gunner.

Which leads me to what the Pistons have gained. I mean, it's A.I. - I'd bet $100 that there are party promoters making up flyers for the official welcome to Motown party with his face splashed on them. Never mind, I don't want to take your money. This is huge for Detroit sports, especially when the stars on Detroit sports teams are few and far between these days. I'm far from a jersey person but I just might have to get his . . .

In terms of on-court gains, that remains to be seen. Iverson must have the ball in his hands to play well. Scratch that - to play at all. If he's not touching the ball at least 90% of the time his team has the ball, you're pretty much wasting him. He takes more shots than just about anyone in the game, but the thing is he almost always gets hot eventually, unlike some other people that I know. I actually enjoyed watching him and the 76ers in the NBA Finals back in 2002 when they lost in 5 games to the Los Angeles Lakers (featuring Kobe and Shaq). It was one of those LeBron James situations where he had pretty much no help but took his team much further than anyone thought was possible. But LeBron is a big man who takes over games. Iverson is barely 5'10" (I don't care what the NBA tells you) and just a scrappy player who leaves it all out there on the floor every night, and when he's on, he's dangerous. He may not like to practice, but he certainly likes to play. He has that heart that you just can't teach. And now that he's getting olderguy wants an NBA championship so badly he can taste it. He is one of the few who has been able to successfully get past a ton of off-court drama to get it together when necessary.

Fortunately, the Pistons are the most unselfish group of guys that you're going to encounter (sometimes to their detriment), and I think they can handle Iverson and his constant touching. As long as they can find themselves and their shots in the midst (i.e., after Iverson misses and the Pistons get the rebound) this could make the eastern conference very, very interesting this year. This is all neglecting the salary cap space that will be cleared because Iverson's contract will be up next year, allowing the Pistons to potentially pick up some other key players.

(Did I already mention that the Pistons instantly got more attractive?)

As for the gain to the Denver Nuggets . . . well, hopefully the thinner air and hometown factor will help Billups locate his shot again. McDyess . . . not really sure where he will fit in out there since they've already got a lot of big bodies who can score, but I think he was included as one of those unload situations to pad the deal (they also traded center Cheikh "Mr. Pad the Deal" Samb). The Nuggets with AI and Carmelo Anthony were supposed to be way better than they were (which wasn't terrible, but wasn't what they expected) and it looks like they weren't interested in giving that anymore time to work out.

This ESPN writer says the Nuggets got the better end of the deal because Billups will work better with Melo's style of play and now the Nuggets will have a true point guard rather than the shooting guard they had in Iverson. All I have to say to that is "OK." We'll see. I actually can't wait to see another exciting NBA season.

The bottom line is that this move is likely to either going to fail wildly (although it may still be a good move in the long run with the expired contracts issue) or result in a serious run at the championship - I don't think it can go any other way. But I love Joe Dumars for having the guts to shake it up.

This may call for NBA League Pass . . .

Sunday, November 2, 2008

GYGM: HEY!

This may be more familiar to some of you as the "hey" song, but I guarantee if this played every morning as you got out of bed, you'd have a bigger pep in your step. Especially if Gary Glitter and his outfit were there, too.

This should be playing around the time the polls close on Tuesday . . .

MYSM: The Full Monty

Halfway through we get more than a post-game interview . . .

Some languages are just universal.

Monday, October 27, 2008

GYGM: Haven't Had Enough

If you know me, then today's "get you going" offering comes as no surprise. This video is awesome, the backgrounds are even awesomer. The total package.


MICHAEL JACKSON - DON'T STOP TIL YOU GET ENOUGH




Happy Monday!

MYSM: Hitting You In the Mouth . . . Like A Bad Relationship

I always knew I liked Mike Singletary when he was starring for the Chicago Bears. This solidifies it. He just makes a lot of sense and he's not settling for crud.

There were many, many sound bytes from this that I found highly amusing. Feel free to share your favorite part!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Sunday Rundown


I've been MIA for a while, but not without good reason. My dad told me I should get to the point on here and no one wants to hear about how tired I am. Ha. Well, I don't tell you because you care, I tell you because I want you to know why I've slacked off! Work, work, and more work . . . but I'm not complaining at all because I'm thankful that I even have a job, much less one that I enjoy doing. But I digress.


Nice, full day of good football games. The Dallas Cowboys just barely held on for the win against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, but a win's a win, I guess. Just ask the Detroit Lions, who got close (again) but couldn't seal the deal against the Washington Redskins. Nice to see that they're still putting in an effort. Nicer to see Roy Williams doing what he should be doing and wasn't doing in Detroit - scoring. He couldn't do that for the Lions but he got that chance on Sunday in the Cowboys game. Hopefully, as long as the Cowboys keep winning, he won't fuss too much, but let's see how many more TD's Williams can catch before T.O. raises a ruckus.


The Philadelphia Eagles, and more specifically, Brian Westbrook, looked pretty good against the surprising Atlanta Falcons. Coming off an injury and rushing for nearly 175 yards is deserving of the top performer of the week award, I'd say.

The NFL crossed the pond again for the New Orleans Saints vs. San Diego Chargers game in London on Sunday. Last year, I noted that it was a mucky mess, so this year had nowhere to go but up. This year, the fans actually got to see some offense. Even LaDainian Tomlinson broke out of his season and almost-a-half long funk to step up his game. Perhaps I'm just a cynic, but I can't help but think that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell put in a call to the Saints and Chargers and asked them to go easy on the defense? If you're a fantasy football player (which, thankfully, this year I am not), you might want to take that into account for the Europe game every year. I also thought it was kind of cute (yes, I am a female) how one team (the Saints) was designated the "home team," and the fans waved Saints pennants and cheered loudly. A small touch but maybe just enough to make these guys not sulk so much about "having to" be the ones to make the ocean-jump mid-season.

More and more, it's looking like the "Terrible Three" (aka, the Lions, Cincinnati Bengals, and the Rams) might just be the Terrible Two. For the past few weeks, the Rams have looked like they really are interested in winning some games. Even the Lions are still making an effort. The Bengals, however, appear to have just given up. They don't get as much press for their terrible performance (they're now a perfect 0-8), perhaps because they don't have the legacy of losing of the Lions nor have they fallen from the ranks like the Rams, or maybe just because it's Cincinnati. And now that it looks like Carson Palmer is done for the rest of the season, the Bengals (who have been done for a long time aready) just never be mentioned again . . . unless, maybe, Ocho Cinco gets an 85 tattooed across his forehead.



Speaking of not-achieving (a step worse than underachieving, which implies that you are actually capable of achieving in the first place), the San Francisco 49ers, on the heels of firing their coach Mike Nolan last week, still looked a mess. Only everyone's not just going to roll over and die. New coach Mike Singletary has only been on the sidelines one game but already he's fed up and is not going to take it anymore. He sent underachieving (yes, he's capable) tight end Vernon Davis to the showers early, and benched his other major (in more than one way) underachiever, quarterback J.T. O'Sullivan. You have to watch the video of Singletary getting in Davis' face. Singletary's post-game interview definitely teetered on the edge of "rant" status - which makes him worthy of MYSM-status. Thanks, Mike.

You gotta love a man who's not afraid to go in and shake things up right from the start. I'm a firm believer that good things happen when you make a clean break from the status quo rather than gradually trying to turn things around. I'm definitely interested in seeing how this one shakes out . . . loving even more that we're not counting up black NFL coaches.

Monday Night Football should also be a good one, with Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts meeting the undefeated Tennessee Titans. Although, the Colts even record of wins and losses accurately reflects the likelihood that this game will be as good as it should be.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Tuesday Football Rundown

Time is money, so we're jumping right in:

1. This is hilarious. For people to suggest that he did this because he's betting on the games is even funnier. It seems there are better ways to alter the outcome than taking out the QB. I've watched it a few times and I just don't see how what the ref did can be seen as anything other than a ref losing his mind momentarily. Where's the fine??



2. Kellen Winslow may be coming out of his pocket for his mouth. Winslow is not happy about how the Cleveland Brown treated him following his three day hospitalization with a staph infection, a problem the Browns have been trying to sweep under the locker room floor. They should have known they were going to have an issue if this guy got it. He's a "freakin'" soldier, after all. Maybe now they'll try to figure out why it's happening instead of trying to hide it. Staph infections? Seriously, that's just gross . . . and Winslow's entirely too pretty for all that.

3. Let's call this one "more like 'sucking' Broncos." Monday Night Football featured a blowout courtesy of the New England Patriots, who whooped up on the Denver Broncos 41-7. Were the Pats looking to prove on the premier stage that they still got it even without their golden boy? I think so.

4. Adam "Pacman" Jones has entered alcohol rehab. I believe that means one of two things: a) he (or his people) reads the blog, and/or b) he's coming back to the NFL. "Both a) and b)" is also an acceptable answer.

5. Looks like we're going all football, all the time today. The morning-after death knell tolled again, and this time its victim is San Francisco 49ers coach Mike Nolan. Apparently, he wasn't going to be fired:

Earlier Monday, [49ers VP Jed York] had said Nolan's job was safe for the time being."What changed," he said later, "was there were numerous reports (that Nolan would be fired) that were a distraction."

That may be one of the weakest excuses I've ever heard for firing someone. So Nolan's job was safe until people started saying his job wasn't safe, at which point his job became not safe and was in fact in extreme danger. Nice.

6. Try to catch the ESPN commercial with Dwight Howard and Tracy McGrady (and some others you probably wouldn't know) featuring new additions to the team RV. If I can find it online, I will post it. Good stuff.

Monday, October 20, 2008

And Now Introducing . . . GYGM!

New feature!!

I've decided to expand MYSM (Make Ya Smile Mondays, for the new folks ;-)) to include a song/video to get your Monday going. We'll call it GYGM - Get You Going Mondays. Sports, music . . . it's all entertainment.

I went back 41 years for this one, which was actually my get it going song this morning. Stevie Wonder is amazing. He may appear here several times, so I hope that's not a problem. (If it is, I'd question your love for music). Enjoy!

Any Given Sunday . . . Or Monday

Losing is starting to become a regular thing for the Dallas Cowboys . . . and the St. Louis Rams are on a winning streak, including a win against the Cowboys. I'd say that's bordering on unbelievable, and you would have had plenty of reasons to not have thunk it. Sure, Tony Romo and his pinkie sat this one out, but he was playing in the other losses. Is this another case of the quarterback makes the team (a la the New England Patriots and Tom Brady?) or would the 'boys have lost anyway? I like how people are writing them off as heading for implosion. I'd like to point out, however, that they still have a winning record and a lot more games to go. And pinkies heal. Let's not jump the gun (no pun intended - it is Texas, after all).

The expression "every dog gets its day" apparently does not carry over to cats because the Detroit Lions remain only-defeated.

Garnering an honorable mention for First Team, All Wish We Could Have Skipped This Week: New Orleans Saints RB Reggie Bush, who is getting arthroscopic knee surgery and will miss the next several games; Kelly Pavlik, who got whopped up on by Philly's son (who's now old enough to be a grandfather), Bernard Hopkins; Kansas City Chiefs RB Larry Johnson, who looks like he's going to be suspended for getting into a boxing match of his own with a woman in a nightclub; and all of the members of the New York Jets, who lost to the Oakland Raiders on a team record-setting 57-yard field goal. Better luck next time, boys.

Today's MYSM features one of the greatest boxers (and characters) of all time: Iron Mike Tyson. When he was in his prime, his opponents feared him because they knew the fight wasn't going to last long. Now, he's just scary to all of us . . . for so many reasons:



Happy Monday!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Happy Anniversary, Denny!

Thursday, October 16 is the second anniversary of the Rant Heard 'Round the World . . . . and of some really great sound bytes. (Hence the commercial).

On October 16, 2006, Arizona Cardinals then-coach Dennis ("Denny") Green truly exemplified what it means to "go nuts." We've all felt like he feels, where the frustration builds to the point where you just can't take it anymore, and then you snap. Who wouldn't be furious after losing a game in which you were leading 23-3 in the fourth quarter? That's what makes his rant so funny - because we do know what he's feeling, we're just thankful that no one was around to film us feeling that way.



So in honor of this occasion, I thought I'd post my top five favorite coach rants (In terms of a rant I might go so far as to condone, though, I'd have to go with this one.) You might be familiar with some of them, but hopefully there's at least one you haven't seen. These are nothing short of amazing.

5. Beyond not wanting to talk about playoffs, Jim Mora keeps it real, again and again - and again. Not many coaches will tell you the truth, that "we got our a** totally kicked."



4. John Chaney going for John Calipari. This a classic example of when keeping it real when goes wrong.



3. This is the best entry into a post-game press-conference I've ever seen.



2. "But here's my point" - just when you think he's going to whisper . . . I have to try this sometime. It seems effective.



1. Which brings us to #1. I love how none of the reporters actually leave the room because they are NOT about to miss this story . . . but they're also not about to get knocked in the head with a phone.






And just because no good rant list is complete without Mr. "I know I 'sposed to be there, I know I 'sposed to lead by example," even if he's not a coach. (With "practice" counter)



Happy Friday!!

Pleats 'n Cleats Likes Hockey . . . Seriously


I considered sharing my thoughts about Shaq's opinion of those who hack him, Tony Romo manning up like I asked him to, or Falcons owner Arthur Blank saying thanks but no thanks to Michael Vick.

But I'd rather talk about my first trip to a professional hockey game. It sounds like a Playskool set and to be honest, I was probably just as excited as if I had received one (when I was 4, of course). If you've never been to a hockey game either, here are my general observations:

1. Hockey games are probably as white as America gets. And maybe as drunk, although baseball games are probably #1. However, that could be the fact that the drinking at baseball games generally takes place in the hot sun, which leads me to #2 . . .

2. Wear long sleeves. I know there's ice but for some reason I figured that didn't mean the whole place had to be freezing, too. I had always wondered why people wore jerseys over sweatshirts at hockey games. I thought it was just to fill it out, but now I get it. What I don't get is why the mascot was so sweaty (he put his arm around me when we took a picture together - I wanted to get the full experience).

3. If you care about what the person right next to you is saying, be prepared for the complete inability to hear anything, including your own thoughts, every time play restarts. This is due to the use of the loudest buzzer known to man. They should have used this buzzer at recess to corral the kids - I'm sure we would have gone running inside even if we didn't really want to. If you're easily scared or don't like loud noises, this might not be the venue for you.

4. The "Kiss Cam" on the JumboTron here is the most inaccurate I've ever seen. Perhaps because there's so much movement in hockey, the cameras don't have time to focus on couples to make sure they are actually couples before the camera asks them to kiss. Seriously, I've never seen so many women point to the guy on the other side of them to indicate "that's who I normally kiss." There's no feeling like having a camera focused on you and your best friend's girlfriend with everyone, including your best friend, waiting to see if you'll kiss.

5. These guys really do fight. This is not wrestling. I've seen it on TV but watching two guys duke it out live and in person made me realize hockey players may be the best fighters in sports (obviously not including sports where punching is how you win). The suite I was in was fairly close so we got a pretty good view of the pummeling. Helmets flew. I think other sports should adopt this same "penalty box" idea where the player who gets a "foul" has to sit in timeout and his team is forced to play one man down. It sure would make for some interesting games . . . and maybe more fights, because if you can fight and just end up in the penalty box, it may be worth taking a swing or two. Then perhaps those NBA guys would learn how to throw a real punch.

6. Pay. Attention. To. The. Puck. Hockey pucks can go over 100 MPH, and there are a few areas where there's no coverage or there's a hole in the glass for camera lenses. During one shot on goal, the puck somehow made its way through to the small hole where the camera lens would have been (had the guy not been taking a break), causing a good portion of the people on that side of the rink to all yell and jump back at the same time. Not how I want to go out.

7. The sponsors are on the cheap side. During whatever they call halftime (because there are three periods, so it's not exactly the middle of the game), they had people take shots from mid-rink into the goal, which was hard enough but then they added a cardboard cutout with a rectangular opening the size of a mailbox slot. And if you made it? The grand prize was a whopping . . . wait for it . . . $500. Surprisingly, exactly none of the participants made it. This sponsor is clearly not coming off that $500 without a fight (maybe the opening gets smaller in bad economies). One guy completely missed the goal three times on the right side. I don't understand how you don't over-correct in the other direction, but I digress . . .

8. Scoring in hockey is quite a joyous occasion. At this particular game, there was a lot of it and, hence, a lot of joy. The joy is so loud that it stops you from whatever else you're doing, such as, once again, thinking, speaking, etc. It does, however, make for a good segue out of a bad conversation: "Yeah, my 401(k) is really .... OHHH! Goal! Woo, high five!" Then walk away.

9. This is not hockey specific but it made me mad so it's making the list. There's no smoking in arenas these days so now they have outdoor smoking areas. Only they put them right where people who don't smoke - like me - have to walk. So if I wanted to enter the arena, I had to ravage through a cloud of haze and yuckiness on my way in. I tried to hold my breath, but they got me, and now I have a cough. The day when non-smokers don't have to be infectedaffected by these people will be one of the happiest days of my life.

10. I love food so I don't know why this is last, but the food in the suite is great! Maybe it's just the arena I was in but man we had some good stuff: fresh fajitas (with guacamole and pico de gallo) and steak sandwiches (shredded, Philly style with hoagie rolls and all). And I topped it off (I had the fajita, not both) with an ice cream cookie sandwich . . . definitely one of the top five I've ever had. Of course there were hot dogs and sausages, too. But compared to the old, fried chicken pieces (fingers?) and cold mozzarella sticks I'm used to seeing, this was like . . . the Cheesecake Factory, at least.

Overall, hockey games are kinda cool. The music was just OK, and there weren't too many festivities other than the game (the chicks in hot pants and skates - who made their way up to the suite next to ours and look to be about the size of 12 year olds - do not count) so I can see how this could get boring without fighting and scoring.

If you found Pleats 'n Cleats doing a search for hockey blogs, I'm sorry to disappoint you because the "puck" stops here. No, really, this is possibly the end of the line for any mention of hockey here. That is, unless you've got a suite . . . and an ice cream cookie sandwich. I accept and encourage bribes for blog posts.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Yee-Ha!

Two of today's top stories came from the world of football - specifically, the Dallas Cowboys. Although there are a lot of topics worth running to (i.e., boxer Vitali Klitschko using his son's wet diapers to keep down hand-swelling, John Madden taking a seat, Eddy Curry taking a seat and busting an exercise ball, etc.), I decided to be a one-story-woman.

The first story is a toss up between Adam "Pacman" Jones getting suspended indefinitely by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell after not being disciplined by the Dallas Cowboys AND Roy Williams getting traded to the Dallas Cowboys, joining another Roy Williams. Either way it involves the Cowboys so I'll just pick one.



So it looks like Pacman may have used up his 9 lives with the NFL. How many guys keep getting this many chances to act right, though? This is a guy who, when the Dallas Cowboys got him in a trade from the Tennessee Titans, they included a clause to move up draft pick received by the Cowboys if he got suspended during this season. I completely disagree with the suggestion from the sports commentators that he somehow would deserve more of a chance, or would be worth the risk, if he were contributing more on the field this season. That's the thinking that got Pacman and his last two teams in trouble in the first place. If he's not learning right from wrong despite the number of chances he has been given then he just doesn't deserve anymore chances. Period.

The funny thing is that, normally, I'm not a fan of teams or leagues hanging a guy out to dry when they've tolerated his behavior all along the way, but that's not the situation that Pacman is in. He has been given chances - repeatedly - and he isn't making any progress. Maybe they're not getting him the right help (it sounds like he may have a drinking problem), but he has to do work on his part, too. The hardest thing for people who "care" (I use that term loosely) about people to realize is that some people just cannot be helped. All you can do is make the effort, but if you've done all you can and they don't respond, then you have to let them go. I don't want to say it's too late for him, nor can I say for sure that everyone has done all they can, but at the very, very least, he needs some time outside of the game to get his mind right before anyone gives him anymore chances. I know the Cowboys tried to keep him insulated and surrounded by good people, but it doesn't look like he changed on the inside. This reminds me of a fable my dad used to tell me:

A scorpion, being a very poor swimmer, asked a turtle to carry him on his back across a river. "Are you mad?" exclaimed the turtle. "You'll sting me while I'm swimming and I'll drown." "My dear turtle," laughed the scorpion, "if I were to sting you, you would drown and I would go down with you. Now where is the logic in that?" "You're right!" cried the turtle. "Hop on!" The scorpion climbed aboard and halfway across the river gave the turtle a mighty sting. As they both sank to the bottom, the turtle resignedly said: "Do you mind if I ask you something? You said there'd be no logic in your stinging me. Why did you do it?" "It has nothing to do with logic," the drowning scorpion sadly replied. "It's just my character."

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is Pacman Jones, in a nutshell. Yes, a person is certainly capable of changing, but if he doesn't go through a serious character metamorphosis, this is a lost cause. The next team who dares take a chance on him may last a little while without incident, but they're only playing with fire. There are too many other talented players out there who would be able to appreciate the shot Pacman's been given.

So to any team who insists on even considering bringing Pacman Jones to town (assuming Goodell allows him to come back), please do yourself (and your fans) and him a favor and make him go through counseling for at least a year without playing (and without any incidents of any kind) . . . or just let him go.


Enough of that. On to the Roy L. Williams trade (not to be confused with Roy E. Williams, who was already a member of the Cowboys). People said this was a bad move by the Lions and the Cowboys. (Even worse than that move by QB Dan Orlovsky when he got a safety for attempting to extend the end zone past it's legal limits, and then the Lions lost the game by exactly two points? Doubtful.) Again, I'm going to have to disagree. This is a GREAT move by the Lions, probably the best seen since the Barry Sanders days.

The Lions picked up a future 1st, 3rd, and 6th round pick in the 2009 draft and got rid of a guy who couldn't wait to go. I imagine Williams feels a little bit like that one hostage who gets released. Who wouldn't want to get out of that miserable muck? I bet even Matt Millen has been sleeping soundly since he got the boot.

Most importantly, though, this gives the Lions another chance to blow it all up and start over, which is exactly what they need to do. If I were the Lions GM, I'd totally gut the team. Everyone. Every last player, starting with the ones who have been there the longest. I don't want anyone there who remembers what it was like to lose so terribly so many times, at least not until they've spent some time knowing what it's like to win somewhere else. The human mind is too powerful to ignore the psychological effect of being in a losing locker room for so many seasons.

From the Cowboys perspective, Williams may have been a Pro Bowler once upon a time, but he's not putting up Pro Bowl numbers these days (in his defense, he played for the Lions, which needs no explanation). So it remains to be seen how he'll fit in with T.O., who is said to be "ecstatic" with the trade. The only way T.O. is ecstatic is if he gets to catch the ball more often. And if Williams can draw some of the heat away from T.O., that leaves the latter open to catch more passes. Now I get it . . .

Let's just hope Tony Romo comes back before the season gets too far away from them . . . speaking of which, I'm now questioning Romo's allegiance after hearing about college football player Trevor Wikre, who opted to cut his off to avoid season-ending surgery. This is high on my list of most disturbing things I've ever heard.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

From Crappy to Happy . . . and Other NFL Fables


What a difference a game makes. It's funny how one big win on Monday Night Football can take a team from sucking underachiever to "contender in a matter of, oh, 60 playing minutes to be exact.


Before an hour ago, the Cleveland Browns were mush and their current starting QB, Derek Anderson, was looking at the door. Eager (and popular) beaver Brady Quinn has been breathing down his neck for about a year now, and he keeps looking cute and smiley (in a kid brother kind of way) on the sidelines, all the while knowing he's more popular than the guy who starts over him. As the MNF gang pointed out, Quinn is the only back up QB to have his own commercial . . . making Derek Anderson the only starting QB whose backup has one when he doesn't.


Now, Anderson looks like Tom Brady with his "precision" and "accurate" throws, and the Browns, who could have been 1-4 after tonight, now have to be taken seriously.


No, the Browns didn't win the Super Bowl, but they did beat the Super Bowl champs, who have been looking pretty good in their champions tour. I should say looked good because they looked pretty awful Monday night. Eli Manning throwing three times as many interceptions as he has had in four previous games? That'll do it. And that tackle . . . come on Eli, that was pitiful, at least make it look like you care. (I couldn't find a picture of it, but I'm still looking!) I guess that's better than that jump away from the pile that Tony Romo did.


Speaking of Romo, his little pinkie's crying wee wee wee all the way home. (Sidenote: Romo really is an unfortunate last name for a really good high school QB) He will be out for at least a month with a broken pinkie on his throwing hand sustained in the Dallas Cowboys' loss to the Arizona Cardinals. I guess this is the one position in the one sport where such an injury would really cause the player to take time off. Broken fingers, especially pinkies, look really gross if they aren't set properly. So for the sake of all of us who will be forced to watch that reality show he and Jessica Simpson will have, I hope it sets properly so we don't have to hear her calling it "yucky." We'll see if any similar Brady-type effects are felt with this loss. The Cowboys have looked shaky (and always manage to get shaken and stirred in the post-season) so I wouldn't call them anywhere near a lock for a Super Bowl, but this certainly changes things. Once again, I'm ecstatic that I was too late for fantasy football this year.






One last thing: Braylon Edwards is definitely a star, but why is he the only one they let speak? He's certainly nice to look at and "articulate," so I'm not complaining but I find it interesting they never really talk to anyone else on the team, not even the QB. And the media loves QBs. Does Derek Anderson have a bad stutter?

Monday, October 13, 2008

MYSM: Phelps Likes Rosetta Stone and Lil Wayne

Let me be clear that I really like and admire Michael Phelps for all that he has accomplished in the pool. He's a ridiculous athlete, personable guy, and I admit I was front and center applauding his record-setting performances in the Beijing Olympics.

Some people, however, should not quit their day jobs. That's OK with me. We can't all be talented in all areas. Apparently, everyone does not buy into this idea.

I thought I had seen enough of Phelps' comedic timing on Saturday Night Live (I thought I was original calling him a fish out of water but some other writer stole my thoughts). Well, the Rosetta Stone folks think there's more for us to see, so they crammed in as many swimming-related jokes as they could in a one minute commercial featuring Phelps. If these folks sell even one more copy of this program than they would have normally sold, I will be shocked.

I want my minute back.

The Quickie Trifecta




This is shaping into an interesting season for some NFL teams. (I'm ignoring the Adam Jones issues because, really, you get what you pay for.) Interesting in a good way (Atlanta Falcons, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, St. Louis Rams, and of course, the Arizona Cardinals) and a bad way (Dallas Cowboys, Washington Redskins). Teams that are used to losing (Detroit Lions, Oakland Raiders) are not interesting. Good game (finally) for that other Manning brother - Peyton. A blocked field goal sealed the Cardinals win over the Cowboys, who just barely made it into overtime to begin with before that most terrible way to lose. And I take back what I said about the Lions. Their game was actually a little interesting considering it ended in a controversial pass interference call that put the Minnesota Vikings in position to kick a field goal for the win. Although the manner of the ending may have been a surprise, the fact that the Lions lost is not. Maybe if they were in contention for . . . anything, (other than worst team of the last century) then someone would care and maybe even calling for the head of the referee who threw the flag. But the Lions are the Lions, and the ref's job is safe and sound. At least the Lions stimulate the economy. . . .



Monta Ellis may be pissed (although looking at the above pic, he doesn't really look like he gets pissed, does he?) that the Golden State Warriors suspended him 30 games for lying about what happened to his ankle but he should really be glad that they didn't terminate his contract. Of course, he's going to appeal the decision but he doesn't have too much of a bargaining position since what he did made his agreement voidable (i.e., ripped up since riding a motorcycle violates its terms). And former-Run TMC member turned VP of basketball operations for the Warriors, Chris Mullin, has not ruled out the possibility of still voiding the contract if he doesn't play like they paid him to do (read: if he sucks). This will certainly teach him and everyone else that a) lying b) about something that can easily be verified c) where the consequence is losing your livelihood, is just not smart. To any other NBA players currently riding bikes: there are many, many other ways to get your jollies other than by risking your life and career over silliness. Find one.



Speaking of outdoor activities (sorta), the NBA staged its first outdoor game since 1972 in a preaseason matchup between the Phoenix Suns and the Denver Nuggets (minus Allen Iverson and Carmelo Anthony who were injured . . .right) in normally beautiful Indian Wells, California. (Indian Wells is also home to a mini-major WTA and ATP tennis tournament.) The number one priority for the league was to make sure that it didn't rain, so they took a cue from Tony! Toni! Tone! (thank me later) and went with Southern California. However, while it might not rain, it can get a bit nippy in the desert when the sun goes down, which it did on this particular night. They say the temperature was in the mid-60's but felt colder because of the 15 MPH winds. Even the seemingly "insulated" Sir Charles (Barkley) had to put a scarf on by the 4th quarter. I'm not sure this is something the NBA wants to do haphazardly. I'm sure most of these guys haven't really played pick up outside in a long time, either. There are plans to do another preseason game outside next year, and maybe even a regular season game. As for the latter, I can't really see that happening. Unless every team had to play outside at least once during the season, and the game was against a "not serious" contender, I can't see the NBA guys going for this at all. And this game had atrocious shooting and Shaquille O'Neal-level free throw shooting from O'Neal and many other players. (Nuggets' guard Mateen Cleaves had the best combined field goal and free throw percentage on the night . . . also probably the most likely of the bunch to be playing pick up ball outside this summer - coincidence?) Although Melo and AI didn't play, the Nuggets magaged to pull off the win 77-72. Pretty low-scoring for the run and gun west. If that keeps up, once the novelty wears off, so will the fans.

Happy Monday!

(Although it is allegedly also Columbus Day in some circles, I don't believe in Columbus Day, especially if we don't get the day off of work.)

Friday, October 10, 2008

Open Your Mouth and Remove All Doubt

When it rains it pours. I haven't neglected you all, I just haven't had a spare moment to sleep so writing wasn't exactly at the top of my list.

So I've also been out of the sports loop a little bit but I see there's a lot going on these days. I'm working on borrowed time as I type but I thought you all should see this if you haven't already.

Everyone knows Magic Johnson has HIV. I was there when he played his last All-Star game back in 1992 (wow, I can't believe that was 16 years ago!), and at the time, everyone was in total shock. Magic was and still is the biggest athlete to come forward with his HIV status. It seemed almost certain that he would have died by now. But he has had access to excellent medical care and has really taken care of himself, and, fortunately for all of us as well as the many urban communities he has invested in, he's still here.

So when someone suggests that he faked his AIDS, even in jest, that's just offensive. There aren't too many people who would get a pass for making a statement like that - maybe Chris Rock . . . maybe! - but it all depends on the delivery.

A "shock jock" on a Minneapolis radio station took the lowest road with the worst delivery when he made the statement that Magic "faked AIDS" and added that "he's the only cured AIDS guy ever." The guys on the show laughed, suggesting they found it amusing, but even if this isn't offensive, it just wasn't a funny joke. Anything for ratings, I guess? But oftentimes what gets you the most attention isn't good, and sometimes you even get fired (for a little while, anyway). Here's hoping these guys get more than just a slap on the wrist.



Kudos to Magic for his excellent response:

“I am extremely disappointed in KTLK in Minneapolis. I am outraged that Chris Baker and Langdon Perry would minimize such a serious and deadly issue. Millions are dying from HIV/AIDS and the fact that they would make jokes about my status is unbelievable,” Johnson said. “Chris, Langdon and KTLK should use their power in a more positive light by encouraging people to get tested for this disease instead of making up such ridiculous lies.”

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Flying and Running

I'm leaving on a jet plane this morning. I'm planning to return on Thursday, which might mean no post that day, but I've been known to surprise people including myself. Here's one for the road:


1. There's an update to that Houston Astros' pitcher wedding arrest. It turns out that after the wedding, the group went to the bar. The bride's brother tried to bring an outside drink into the bar when a fight ensued . . . which ended in the brother and his father - the bride's father - getting tasered and pepper sprayed by the police, and the brother airlifted to a hospital. Astros' pitcher Brandon Backe was apparently trying to break up the attack. At first blush, this sounded like a case of "liquid courage," but after reading more details and different takes on it, including eyewitness accounts of what happened, it sounds like the police lost it. (It's too bad that the first charges are against the regular folks and it's not until much later that the cops get charged . . . if they ever do. At least they're investigating it.) Tasing and pepper spray? Pepper spray is not a game. One time, I tried to make a French Open tennis court for my French class (I won't say how old I was because I was definitely old enough to know better). Being creative, I found the perfect substitute for the red clay of Roland Garros: cayenne pepper. You know how they say it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye? It's true. Everything was going well until I got to the part of cleaning of the white lines on the "court." My solution? Blow on them. And it was at that exact moment that I learned what it was like to be pepper sprayed. That was definitely one of the most painful nights of my life. And when I brought my work of art to class, I had to plaster a huge "DO NOT TOUCH - DEATH MAY ENSUE!" sign on it. I also had a taser gun in college (courtesy of my concerned relative) but, thankfully, I have no story connected with that one. The moral of the story is cops shouldn't be able to just spray and tase folks all will-nilly. That's how people get hurt. Just ask R. Kelly.

2. I was right about Reggie Bush. Now that he's gotten more serious about his football, Kim Kardashian's talking about going back (no pun intendd) on Dancing with the Stars. I won't allow it. Not unless they test her for a soul first - if you've watched her dancing on the show, then you understand. Beautiful girl, but wow.

3. Someone is stalking Los Angeles Lakers' forward Luke Walton. Did she get him confused with his dad, Bill? Otherwise, I'm a little confused by her choice. She had already marked up his car, why did he wait until she fired at him with a "fake gun" (Luke's description of the woman making a gun out of her hands) before he decided she wasn't all there? I must note that all of this occurred after he refused to give her an autograph. Luke. . . um, I don't know how to break this to you, but are you really in a position to be refusing autographs? Perhaps you should be grateful that anyone has noticed there are other players on the floor besides Kobe Bryant.

4. NBA legend Elgin Baylor is out as the general manager of the Los Angeles Clippers. The Clippers say he resigned, but Baylor says "you'll be hearing from my lawyers." Baylor is 74 years old and by all accounts hadn't really been running things for years - that was coach Mike Dunleavy's unofficial job, and Dunleavy will now take over Baylor's duties. I don't really get the Clippers. I don't get why they're in L.A. when they already have (and love) the Lakers, and I don't get why they have never quite been able to turn the corner even though they had a few opportunities to do so. So, I guess firing a 74 year old man who was holding his position in name only isn't so far-fetched. I guess that's what you get for messing with the Clippers . . . and the Oakland Raiders . . . and the Detroit Lions . . . and . . .

5. Barry Bonds came out of hiding to tell us he loves his freedom away from baseball. I suppose he is free in that waiting-to-be-sentenced kind of way, but let's not get too far ahead of ourselves . . .

Monday, October 6, 2008

Ain't Nobody Jumpin' Around . . . Ok. So I am.


Besides losing to the Minnesota Vikings on Monday Night Football, the man sometimes known as Kim Kardasshian's better half had an excellent night. New Orleans' Saints running back Reggie Bush scored on two punt returns, becoming just the 12th man to ever do so.

After watching this game, I have a better appreciation for the fine line between a nice hit and a terrible one. The helmet-to-helmet rule is kind of tough to decipher because slo-mo doesn't always tell the real story. I think the only real difference is whether the "hittee" walks off the field.

The Vikings' own Speedy Gonzalez, Adrian "A.P." Peterson, was pretty quiet tonight, and somewhere, some grown man lost the weekly pool because of it. But the Vikings pulled it out, and that's all that matters. Is it just me or did it look like Reggie Bush was about to cry? They did show a vignette in which Bush said he was trying to focus on football only (read: the real reason Kim decided to do Dancing with the Stars) and stay out of the limelight. I felt for him when he said that he had expected to be one of the top running backs in the league, and decided to get serious. So I'm sure it was particularly frustrating to lose despite his good game. But it was a close one, and the Vikings needed this one to avoid "basement" synonyms. If Bush continues to stay focused (read: makes Kim do another reality show) then I think he has a good shot of achieving his goals.

I only posted the above pic because I want to remind him of pictures we should never, ever see again. Ever. I would, however, like to see him attain those other goals of his. . .

In other news:

How bad do you have to act up to get arrested at a wedding as a member of the wedding party? It would seem to me that if you're in the wedding, you might make an extra effort not to ruin the wedding of your good friend or family member. I'm going to assume alcohol was intimately involved, but there is drinking at a lot of weddings, and these people aren't in their early-20's.

That's the situation facing Houston Astros' pitcher Brandon Backe, who is 30 years old. Cops say they punched him in the face twice before they were able to arrest him after he allegedly refused to back away from a fight. Now, I'm not one to blindly side with the po-po, but I have to assume Backe was out of line. My favorite part of this story is the description of the other people who were involved in the fracas: the bride's father, 19-year old brother, and a FEMA director. I am cracking myself wondering what the FEMA connection could possibly be . . . being inept has never gotten George Bush jumped, so I don't get it . . .


More athletes with legal troubles: Lawrence Phillips once had a job in the NFL as a running back, but now he's looking at ten years behind bars for deliberately running down a group of teenagers after they beat him in a game of pickup football. He also alleged they stole some of his belongings. This wasn't Phillips first sign of trouble. He had previously picked up a domestic abuse charge for striking a woman he was dating at a hotel. During his brief stints in the NFL, he was dismissed once by each of the St. Louis Rams and San Francisco 49ers for insubordination and missing a practice, respectively. . . and then they just turned him loose without any guidance. He played at the University of Nebraska, football country, so he likely had some of his previous indiscretions overlooked for the sake of his talent at a big program. How many more times do we have to watch guys go down like this before we start nipping this stuff early? Sad.



Dancing with the Stars contestant and gold medal volleyball player Misty May-Treanor's dancing days are officially over after the tore her Achilles during dance rehearsals last Friday. I don't even know how you tear an Achilles while you're dancing, especially when you spring out of the sand barefoot all day. I guess that's the epitome of dancing too aggressively, for which the Dancing with the Stars judges had often criticized her. What a terrible feeling to be a professional athlete and ruining your career on a dalliance like dancing. Hopefully, this won't permanently sidetrack her career. I'd also consider sticking to barefoot dancing from here on out if I were her.

This is just such a random "sport."



Kimbo Slice lost his first mixed martial arts (MMA) fight. Now, I swear just a few days ago, they were saying this guy doesn't know anything about MMA, but you couldn't tell by these commentators, calling the fight "the most incredible victory in the history of mixed martial arts."

Another gem: "If you have a dream . . . if you're willing to step into a cage and fight for your life, you . . . can be anything you want!" I may have to start using this as my personal quote.

I don't know much about MMA, but this looks about as real as "rasslin'." (That's "wrestling" for all you northern types). Kimbo lost to a last second replacement - really. The guy he was supposed to fight had to pull out with a cut over his eye just hours before it was scheduled to go down. So Kimbo ended up fighting a guy who probably knows him well but about whom Kimbo knew nothing, not even his name. Still, no excuse for losing in 14 seconds. Although, I wonder if he decided to just throw it instead of getting seriously injured by someone he didn't know. He probably still got paid the same amount, it just wasn't worth the risk. And it wasn't really a competition, so he can do a re-match, kill this guy (not literally, MMA fans, geez), and then re-gain his status. Smart man. (And if this was not the plan, I expect some kind of remuneration for my strategy.)

And By the Way . . .


I almost forgot to mention that O.J. Simpson was convicted on all 12 counts (wow) in his armed robbery trial. His co-defendant also went down for all of the charges. See? This is why I don't bet. So that means he's going away for a long time (he hasn't been sentenced yet. December 5th.), potentially for the rest of his life.

Of course, O.J.'s people will try to claim that the all-white jury was trying to get him back for getting off for killing his wife and her "lover," but in my experience, jurors take their jobs fairly seriously and try to be fair even when it's difficult (as here, where they were all intimately familiar with at least one of the defendants). People have a conscience about affecting other people's freedoms, and since a unanimous verdict is needed in these cases, there's usually at least one of these people on every jury. The comments from some of the jurors on Simpson's case confirms this. Although Simpson's team had claimed that he didn't know guns were going to be used in the robbery, the "secret" tapes where they talk mention a "piece" ended up mattering more than any other evidence with which the jury was presented. Yup, that'll do it.

Well, O.J., I guess we'll be saying goodbye to you shortly. Come on, you didn't think you could get away twice, did you?

MYSM: Dunkin' Ain't Easy

The NFL on Sunday was pretty predictable. Bad teams lost (Detroit Lions - just get used to it), and the good teams eked out wins. Some teams whom we believed would be better at this point are looking sorta average, at least in their records (Philadelphia Eagles) while others are continuing their over-achievement streak (Tennessee Titans, Miami Dolphins - even though they're only at .500). The Dallas Cowboys had a scare until the Cincinnati Bengals lowered to the occasion. As usual.


Nice win for the Pittsburgh Steelers, though. On a total side note, how come I never noticed Ben Roethlisberger's "urban drawl" until today? I went back and looked at a few older videos of him and he didn't quite sound like that. Maybe it only creeps up during post-game interviews. I could blame it on rap but then how do you explain Michael Phelps? Although, if Phelps sounded more like Lil' Wayne, I think he could have an interesting endorsement future ahead of him . . .



In other news on Sunday, the Detroit Shock won the WNBA Finals with a sweep of the San Antonio Silver Stars. This is the Shock's third title in six years. Smells like a dynasty. Here comes my first DVR complaint - I set it up specifically to record . . . why didn't these record??!! That means I missed both game 2 and game 3, and since the series is over, I didn't get to see one minute of the finals. And like last time, the one picture I found was of Bill Laimbeer shaking hands. It obviously wasn't meant for me to watch the games and write about it here, but in any event, congratulations to the Shock!

Speaking of sweeps, the Chicago Cubs were swept out of the National League Division Series by the underdog L.A. Dodgers. The Dallas Mavericks of the MLB?


That takes us right into smiling. Today's videos (twice the fun) have one theme in common: dunking. Or I should say, the desire to dunk. A key but often under-appreciated aspect of dunking is actually letting go of the ball. But as attempted dunker #1 so aptly demonstrates, the ability to jump high doesn't matter if you don't include a forward motion. A reminder for us all.



#2. This should never happen. Ever.



Happy Monday!