Running Back

So I've had quite a last few months, hence the lack of posts. I responded to a comment on my Plax post so check it out and jump in the conversation if you feel so inclined.

I have a few moments so I thought I'd do a little running on some random ruminations:



1) Joey Porter came to the defense of Plaxico Burress. During an interview that's set to appear on ESPN tomorrow (but I found it for you), Porter says that carrying a gun is essential as an NFL player, and when asked whether he carried a gun, he stumbled a bit over the answer but he admitted that he did, and that his interviewer should, too, if he cares about his family. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell's take on it? He says (I'm paraphrasing) that if you're in a place where a gun is necessary, then you should leave that place. Hmm . . . so does that count for what happened to Sean Taylor? I might need to do a separate post on this, but I think his statement's a tad ignorant, in the truest sense of the word. I guarantee the same people coming after Goodell aren't coming after Porter and Burress.

2) This Stephen Curry kid (how the heck do you pronounce his name, really? Found it: STEFF-in) is just about the sweetest looking basketball player I've ever seen. By sweet, I mean like nice and sweet - not "sweet," but he is that, too. (And not that kind of sweet). He doesn't even look like he's trying and then he just launches these shots from out of nowhere. I always wonder about guys who are wildly popular in college (i.e., J.J. Redick) and whether translate into NBA success (no). It's a possibility but for some reason, I can't picture him in an NBA uniform. I think it's the face.

3) Going back to the NFL for a moment - I'd heard that sports probably wouldn't be safe during this recession. Now, the NFL is laying off 150 folks. What, not enough fines this year to keep your people employed? The "funny" part is that the layoffs are due to an anticipated downturn in ticket sales for next season. I'm all for forecasting and all that jazz but I think this might be a little premature. Of course, I'll concede the NFL has tracked ticket sales in recessions and might know more than I do . . . but a lot can happen in a year. It's almost Christmas! And we thought NFL = "not for long" referred to just the players.

4) I missed the Oscar De La Hoya fight (he fought alleged marquee boxer Manny Pacquiao . . . I concede the boy is good. Happy?) on Saturday night but from all accounts, that should really have been the Golden Boy's swan song. I caught a little bit of the bout and he looked pretty slow and tired out there. Although he rallied against Floyd Mayweather last year, he clearly has lost the goods that warranted him even a decision in the Felix Trinidad fight (wow, that was nine years ago - I remember where I was when I watched it). Now, he's just messing with his legacy. I know he'll miss the money, but he's still a young man, and I think still pretty enough to sell more than just grills and get paid handsomely (no pun intended) for doing so.

5) I'm cheating, I know, this isn't a story, but I missed MYSM, so I'm sharing. The move or the commentating - I'm not sure what's better. Please, Derrick, don't hurt 'em!

Rundown From the Run-Down: 'Jones'ing For Some Rest

Running it down before I retire:

1. I hate to say I told you so. Actually, no, I don't. So I do have a record saying that UNC was going to receive their first check in the "L" column fairly soon. I can't say that I didn't think it would be this soon, because I did. I can say that I'm surprised they held on as long as they did. Then came the University of Maryland, with a just OK record (including losses to VCU and Ohio(?)), who exposed their defense. No fluke here, though, because Maryland coach Gary Williams enjoys a great rep as a top team slayer. And UNC is starting to enjoy a rep as a team that doesn't play D. Back to the basics for the other Williams (UNC coach Roy).

2. Speaking of holding on as long as he could, did anyone catch the Roy Jones, Jr./Felix "Tito" Trinidad fight? If you saw Jones knock out Tito twice (FYI, that second time was not a slip, he lost his balance after getting HIT. It counts.) then you know that Jones is as much a showman as he is a fighter, and I can appreciate that. He is honestly a bit of a nut, but judging by their talk post-fight (where Jones won in a unanimous decision), I think Trinidad "gets" him, so he probably didn't mind the antics as much as one might have thought. If it brings more fans to the sport, they all win. So says Oscar De La Hoya and Floyd Mayweather, who are, as we speak, planning a Part Deux of their last affair. Just because they get punched in the head doesn't mean they aren't shrewd businessmen.

3. Eli! In the NFC Championship game, I was sentimental for the Green Bay Packers' Brett Favre, because I wanted to see the "old-timer" defeat the odds and make a run for another Super Bowl title. But alas, the bigger underdog won and won me over, and his name is Eli Manning. Manning has finally emerged in the fastest time ever (an instant) from the shadow of big brother Peyton to make the premier national stage. I've always liked Eli because he was the "other" Manning, behind his brother and his dad, Archie, who never really got the glory even though he was a starting QB in a major sports market (the NY Giants). Reminds me of a post I once wrote. I am sure Giants fans are still reeling from the shock. The fact that exactly no one is expecting them to beat the New England Patriots has to make this that much better because Eli will still be a hero (forever, to little brothers everywhere) either way. Bravo, kiddo.

4. Serena Williams made an exit out of the Australian Open Monday night. I can't say that I watched a single point, but I've seen her play enough to get an idea of what happened. If you are not familiar with the term "unforced errors," watch a match where Serena is losing and you will hear it a lot. Why? Because when she's not making errors, this woman is virtually unstoppable, which is how she won the Australian Open crown last year as an unseeded, 81st ranked player in the world. But when she's off, she can be hard to watch. And apparently she was pretty off at times. She did lose to the 3rd seed, but like I said, on a good day she can dust anyone, so I'm not impressed. . .

5. In other Australian Open news, Justine Henin, the #1 ranked player in the world (yeah, I have to tell you, and that's sad. Not for you, but for tennis) is playing Maria Sharapova (a little more familiar, I hope) at 3:30 a.m. Eastern standard time on Tuesday. To some that's Tuesday morning, but I prefer to call it Monday night when it's before 5 a.m. What tennis should be calling it is a total waste of what could be the best match of the tournament.

G'day, mate!

Too Many Bites at the Ear?

At age 44, Evander Holyfield, is trying to become the "undisputed" heavyweight champion of the world. The only problem is that everyone is telling him that it's time to hang up the gloves.

Holyfield lost a title bout in a 12-round unanimous decision in Moscow Saturday to Sultan Ibragimov. But that's not stopping him from trying to get back to his championship form.

When I saw that he had even gone to Moscow to box, my immediate thought was "Why is this man still fighting?" Evander was staying in the same Disney World hotel that I was in one time about 15 years ago. I remember thinking that he was really nice, and he seemed OK then, but I've seen other retired boxers, and it's honestly sad to see the physical toll the boxing can take on a person.

From all indications, Holyfield appears to have money. He really doesn't have anything more to prove since he has won all the titles and received all the accolades -- unless he just wants to be the oldest heavyweight since George Foreman. If you are setting records for being the oldest "anything," I'm of the opinion that is should be because you never had the chance when you were young.

Thus, it seems the man is just lacking good sense. Perhaps it was spit out when Mike Tyson bit off that chunk of ear. Too many punches to the head late in his career? I know it's hard for people to call it quits when they are on top, because you never know when you've reached your peak. But I have a lot of respect for an athlete who can leave while they're on top. And if they refuse to leave, especially in a sport like boxing where one wrong misstep can result in death, then can't some doctor say he isn't cleared to fight?

Maybe he doesn't know what to do with himself if he's not fighting. If that's the case, we just need to find him a hobby. Surely someone has to be able to teach him basketweaving.

Too Much Booty In the Pants

As you may recall, boxer Floyd Mayweather is on this season of Dancing with the Stars.

Because this is a dancing show, I would like to publicly request that he stop shamelessly promoting his December 8 fight, and realize that you better win that fight or you will be looking at a lot of clowning from here on out.

And please stop whining:

Tuesday’s competition came down Newton and “Pretty Boy” Floyd Mayweather, who also ended up in the bottom two. While Newton has endured the judge’s low marks with humility and grace, Mayweather has found it hard to disguise his feelings of persecution and what he calls “bias” from the judges.

“I’m out there giving it my all, and I don’t understand, no matter how hard I dance, or how good I dance, how am I to understand the scores that I get,” Mayweather told PEOPLE after the show. “I mean, if they’re bias toward me then it is what it is. I’m dancing my best, have the best dancing teacher, so they can’t take my natural ability and my talent from me.”

Floyd, you are talented in something. Boxing. Nobody can take that from you, you are right about that. But dancing? That's a whole different story. You keep sticking your butt out like you're getting points for it tapping it on an imaginary wall. Too much R Kelly Bump 'N Grind, not enough Gene Kelly Singin' in the Rain.

From the looks of it, I'd say that Floyd is approaching his dancing a little bit too much like a boxing match. He seems to be measuring his steps but doesn't appear to be really feeling the music. One of the judges told him to be more technical, but I think focusing too much on that could be weighing him down. I know we're asking a lot for him to look more fluid out there, but this is a dancing contest he entered.

But at least he's no Wayne Newton, who, in contrast to Floyd, is surprisingly really tall by Hollywood standards (that must mean he's 5'8"). Wayne was probably losing money by being away from Vegas for so long, anyway, but he gets a lot of kudos for going on there and being so, um, not good. And being a good sport about it. Even Floyd admires Wayne:

Despite Mayweather’s ongoing concerns of how he’s being treated in the competition, he had nothing but nice things to say about his fallen compatriot. “Me, myself, I think Wayne Newton is a legend,” added Mayweather. “He’s a great guy. His personality is great. He’s a marvelous person!”

Well that was awful kind of him. Should we be on the look out for the Floyd and Wayne Show in Vegas? Maybe Wayne has some bigger pants he can borrow.

Tyson May Have Really Bitten Off More Than He Could Chew

Mike Tyson has joined - or rather, re-joined - the world of athlete's in legal trouble. Today, he pled guilty in an Arizona court to possession of cocaine and driving under the influence, and he's facing a maximum of four and a quarter years in prison if convicted.

Honestly, for all that Tyson has done, and all the jokes made about his voice (In Living Color tore him up!), I really feel sorry for the guy. He was literally trained like an animal, with the people around him taking advantage of his superior boxing skill but worrying about little else. And believe you me, Tyson was amazing - viewing the fights live or on tape, no one can deny that Tyson was one of the fiercest boxers ever. And this was at the tender age of 19. But then when he appeared to be a head case, these same people who seemed to care about him threw him out to fend for himself. He never had a proper childhood, and he never really grew up.

And now, ten years after biting off Evander Holyfield's ear, he still has issues. I don't think he needs any more prison, because in four years, he will probably be the same guy. Somebody get this guy some professional help and some real people in his life. Hopefully, it's not too late.

Race Car Driving is Not a Sport . . . yeah, I said it

So for my first official post, I thought I would give you a list of activities that I consider to be a sport. For a definition, I turned to the trusty Answer.com, which offered this among the many definitions:

"An activity involving physical exertion and skill that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often undertaken competitively."

Note the phrase "physical exertion." I know that some of you may disagree and that is fine. You may even go on Answers.com and see that the first definition says only "physical activity." Nevertheless, the following is my not-so-exhaustive list, in no particular order, of some activities that I consider to be sports:

Sports

1. Basketball
2. Jai alai
3. Baseball
4. Football
5. Tennis
6. Boxing
7. Soccer
8. Hockey (Yep, few cared when it was gone a year but it's still a sport)
9. Track & field
10. Golf* - ONLY thanks to Tiger Woo

* But as long as people like this are playing, too, it's always going to be fringe in my eyes.


Whether or not the above sports will appear on Pleats 'n Cleats (i.e., does anyone care who's the next Carl Lewis?) is another question, but suffice it to say they made the list. What did not make the list? These are activities that involve skill, but just because you get a winner and a loser doesn't make it a sport. They are:

NOT Sports

1. Race car driving (If something really eventful happens, I MAY mention it)
2. Bowling
3. Poker
4. Fishing
5. Iditarod (maybe for the dogs, not the people chillin' on those sleighs)
6. Hunting or shooting at anything, especially clay pigeons
7. Billiards
8. Bocce ball
9. Spelling bees
10. Eating competitions

I believe what all these non-sports have in common is that sweating - and therefore, physical exertion - is due to lighting, outside temperature and/or pressure/nervousness, and not in any way related to the activity itself. Let me know if you have any others to add to this list.

Someone has already taken me to task for race car driving, saying that NASCAR and that other league are popular. I said, "Well, so is the circus." Also not a sport.

Remember: Just because you see it on ESPN doesn't mean it's a sport!