Three For The Hump: Pettrino, Perkins, and Pooh Bear Shot

Time is a hot commodity these days. The truth is I could have time if I wasn't so bad at time management. I can't work all the time!

I digress. A few interesting stories today. I'm only posting once because I need sleep before I trek to the beach Thursday night. I know. Rough life. That means Pleats 'n Cleats last post will be tomorrow night.

First item of interest, the poor Atlanta Falcons just cannot catch a break. No sooner did they learn that they lost their meal ticket superstar Michael Vick than they also lost their coach. Bobby Petrino jumped ship, effective immediately, to take the vacant coaching job with the Arkansas Razorbacks football team. His move was a shock to many it seems, as he'd only been there for a whole 13 games, and he's returning from whence he came - the college ranks. A whole lot of others are just feeling let down. I guess he figured that the team wasn't going to get any better in the next two years without Vick.

Making matters worse, Falcons owner Arthur Blank said that Pettrino had reassured him as late as Monday afternoon that he was going to stick with the team through 2008. Yes, Blank, Tuesday could be worse than Monday. But maybe this was a blessing in disguise, as one source called him "one of the worst communicators in pro sports." Well, he didn't tell anyone about this move, so I'd have to agree with that assessment. Plus, the players didn't really like him, either. It seems he was more of a dictator, which can work on the college level, but he didn't really know how to relate to guys to whom he couldn't talk down. Apparently no one told him that that strategy doesn't work in the NFL, so it's easy to see why he wasn't popular with the players.


Second item: Bostons Celtics center Kendrick Perkins hurt his big toe when his bed allegedly fell on it, which will likely cause him to miss a game, and cause Boston to add a new person to the starting line up for the first time all season. As much hype as the Big 3 have received (I did see a sort-of funny ESPN commercial with them today, though), I don't think anyone cares who they rotate into the top 5 unless this person is, say, Larry Bird. Perkins explanation for the accident:

"Man, that's a weird story," Perkins said after practice Tuesday. "I was asleep. I guess whoever put my bed together didn't put it together right when I moved, so one side of my bed fell. My bed was tilted, so I got out of my bed to go push down on the other side.

"And when I was about getting ready to push down on the other side, the headboard started coming in. So I tried to push the headboard back so it wouldn't fall over. My foot was under the bed and the other side of the bed fell on my foot.''

Yeah. I don't know, this sound pretty fishy. I tried to follow along with his explanation and had some trouble. If his bed was poorly put together, someone please get the man some better help. Playing with the Big 3 ought to give him top of the line assemblers, if nothing else. This has to be one of the sorriest reasons I've ever heard for missing a game, somewhere ahead of not feeling like showing up.



Finally, as reported on ESPN (so I'll tentatively give it a "sports" label pro hac vice ) Davy Crockett's great - great - great - great - great - great - great - great - great - great - grandson (did someone check this?), five-year old Tre Merritt, killed a 400+ lb. bear, just like Davy did when he was allegedly three years old. When I saw this, I thought this meant Tre killed him with his bare hands - no pun intended. Well, it turns out that Tre shot him.

What the heck is a five year old doing with a gun? In the story it's called a "youth rifle." Tre has been shooting since the age of 2, and according to dear old "paw-paw," who shed a tear upon the realization that Tre had killed a bear, Tre killed three deer last year.

Well, this just warms the heart. Of course, this happened in a rural area as you all imagined, but who is selling youth rifles, and why is it OK for people to buy these for toddlers? It seems like dad should be arrested. If the bullet could kill a 400 lb. bear, then it could definitely kill a human being - unless, the bullet had some kind of bear kryptonite that doesn't affect humans. . . . And Michael Vick gets 23 months for killing dogs, but a kid kills a bear and poses with it, and that's A-OK. Got it.

Maybe it is illegal for kids his age to use guns, and Tre just got "grandfathered" in. HA. Where's my drum beat when I need it?

P.S. Toronto Raptors' guard T.J. Ford was hurt following a hard foul by Al Horford in the Raptors win over the Atlanta Hawks on Tuesday night. Ford's head hit the ground very hard when Horford hooked him in the face (he says it was an accident, but was ejected from the game anyway). Ford looked to be in immense pain when they him off the court in a stretcher. There are reports that he has movement in his limbs, so that's a good sign. Keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

Not The Game It Was Billed To Be

Tonight's Monday Night Football game between the Atlanta Falcons and New Orleans Saints was supposed to feature two of the biggest stars in the game: Michael Vick and Reggie Bush.

Only it didn't quite turn out as planned.

Bush is injured and is out for the rest of the regular season and perhaps the playoffs, too, if the Saints make it that far. With a win over the Falcons Monday night, they put themselves in a better position to do just that.

Vick, as you all know by now, did not play this year and will not play for at least the next two seasons after being sentenced to 23 months in prison and 3 years probation for pleading guilty to federal charges related to dogfighting.

Several of the players and fans made tributes to Vick, wearing his number. One Falcons player, Rodney White, donned a hand-written "Free Mike Vick" shirt under his jersey. Interestingly, most of the fans, and all of the players supporting Vick appeared to be African-American.

Vick received his sentence of almost 2 years in prison because the federal court judge said that he had lied. Lying to the government - and then getting caught - is an offense worse than death when it comes to the feds. Guaranteed to get you on the higher end of the sentencing guidelines.

Here, the prosecutors asked for a 12-18 months sentence, and the federal guidelines said the judge should sentence Vick to 18 months to two years. The judge pretty much threw the book at him, with 23 months. The feds don't really do that whole "early release" thing but he could about a month reduction, added to the month he has already served, and the earliest he could expect to get out would be the summer of 2009.

He's also looking at state court charges, but hopefully he can serve that concurrently with his federal sentence so that he would still get the same summer 2009 release date.

Well, I won't repeat everything I said before about the Vick situation (click here for my previous posts on the matter), but it is sad to see him become another statistic. Sports pundits on ESPN are saying he'll never play another game for the Falcons, but that's not what Falcons owner Arthur Blank said during Monday night's telecast. He, like NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, said that he would weigh the situation when it came time to do so. Prior to the game, he said that Vick was out of the picture. For now, Vick's contract will likely be tolled until he is able to return to the team. Blank's in this business to make money as much as he is anything else. I'm sure having Michael Vick, hopefully a new Michael Vick who's trying to keep his head above water, will be a money-making venture for which most teams that need a boost would pay a lot of money. Basically, if the Falcons are still struggling, I

Leave it to a federal judge to mess up my prediction that he would be back next year. Tolling that time for his prison sentence, Vick will be back as soon as he is free to do so. He will be sent to a "Club Fed" somewhere presumably not too far away from home, where he'll be able to stay in pretty good shape, but more importantly, he'll be able to put some distance between himself and this situation. Club Fed is nothing like being free, but it's the best he could get while still being held behind bars.

The one thing that the judge who sentenced him (not coincidentally, a George W. Bush appointee) said that I agree with is that he let a lot of kids down who looked up to him. But beyond that, he also has a chance to be a role model for those who have hit their lowest points to turn it all around. Now that he has almost two years to think about things, I sincerely hope that his story ends as one of redemption and not one of lost potential.

I'm pulling for you, Mike Vick, and in time, so will your previous fans.

There's Only Room Here For One Of Us

Ah, inspiration.

Let's start with the Atlanta Falcons' Jonathan Babineaux, who is breathing an enormous sigh of relief today after learning that he won't be facing charges for killing his girlfriend's pit bull.

The DA determined that Babineaux fought with the pit bull, and when it became clear that it was either him or the dog, Babineaux wisely chose to save himself. A classic case of self defense. The pit apparently had it coming. Not only had it provoked a few fights in the past, but it "had been neutered, placed on Prozac, sent to a dog trainer and kept on a leash." If Prozac doesn't get it, the dog probably can't be helped.

Good thing for Arthur Blank and the Falcons, because it's bad enough to have one convicted animal abuser on the team. Two would just be overkill.

(No pun intended.)

'Cuz They Want It All . . . Or Nothing At All

In a move to clear more space under the NFL salary cap, the Atlanta Falcons scored a "victory" over their beaten down QB, Michael Vick. The Falcons asked arbitrator and law professor Stephen Burbank to order that Vick return to them over $20 million in signing bonuses received. Burbank obliged. The NFLPA, which represents Vick, is now appealing the case.

Two things here. First, the Falcons' argument

The Falcons argued that Vick, who pleaded guilty to federal charges for his role in a long-running dogfighting operation, knew he was in violation of the contract when he signed a $130 million deal in December 2004.

The team said he used proceeds from the contract to fund his illicit activities and sought the repayment of $19,970,000 in bonuses he was paid over the last three years.

And here is Burbank's ruling:

In a highly technical, nine-page ruling, Burbank said the Falcons were entitled to $3.75 million of the $7.5 million bonus that Vick was paid after signing the deal in 2004, $13.5 million of the $22.5 million in roster, reporting and playing bonuses he was paid in 2005 and 2006, and $2.72 million of the $7 million roster, reporting and playing bonus that he received this year.

So he pretty much gave them exactly what they asked for. I don't have the time to really analyze this like I would like, but I'd also like to track down the opinion if I can before I give my full comment. Suffice it to say that I think the arbitrator made the wrong decision based on what I've seen so far, particularly the part about the bonus applying to future services vs. money already earned. Feel free to weigh in with your thoughts in the meantime.

Vick Betta Have My Money!

So Arthur Blank and the Atlanta Falcons want the money returned that they coughed up to Michael Vick. They had threatened it before but now they're really going for it. They don't trust their odds, so they have two actions going simultaneously, one with the NFL's non-injury grievance arbitrator for recovery of $22 million, and one at a hearing with the NFL's special master, an Ivy League professor, asking for $16 million.

Although I am only mildly familiar with these proceedings from a class I took in law school, I do know that this is one area where the "man" does not always prevail. After all, fights with leagues has led to everything from the creation of modern day free agency to salary cap exceptions. The league will argue that he didn't live up to his end of the bargain, while the NFL Players' Association, which represents the players in these matters, will argue that his bonus was already earned and may not be taken back. Catch the rest of the details here.

I understand that the Falcons want their money back, but in the real world, this just would not fly. Just by way of example, let's pretend that my job gives bonuses, that they gave it to me when I first started, and that they wanted it back if I did not stay employed there for, say, 15 months. No way they're getting that money back.

My motto is "If you give it to me because I earned it, consider it spent. And don't come back for it, either because it's gone." With legal fees and no paycheck, I'm guessing Vick could use every dollar he can get these days. But at least he lightened his payroll by no longer supporting those cousins who sold him out!

NFL Roundup: A Post Involving Football That's Not About Vick

So here's the wrap up from Day 1.5 of the NFL season. If you are friends with an Atlanta Falcons fan, be nice to them at work because they are in for a looooong season without Michael Vick. Joey Harrington is not only not Michael Vick, he's not even the quarterback the Lions hoped (foolishly, perhaps) that they were getting. Unfortunately, I doubt that the Falcons will be offering any refunds so just be glad it's one of the shortest professional sports seasons. Remember, there's always next year.

But I do need to thank the Falcons for giving my ("my" because I own them - in the fantasy world) Minnesota Vikings defense the most fantasy points I've had so far - even more than LT. See, there's a positive side of every story.

But around the rest of the league, a lot of players saw their season end today. While most were not too serious (i.e., career-ending), Buffalo Bills' reserve tight end Kevin Everett underwent emergency spinal cord surgery after a helmet-to-helmet hit when he tackled a Denver Broncos player. It says that he didn't show any signs of movement, which is not a good sign at all. I know there's no way to prevent these things but it's crazy that he might be a quadriplegic from playing football. And he's only 25. Keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

In better news, old man (by NFL standards, because he's only 30) Randy Moss (pictured at the top), whom even you non-football fans should have at least heard of, proved that he still has it in him. In his debut with his new team, the New England Patriots, wide receiver Moss caught all nine passes thrown to him from QB Tom Brady (Carson Palmer, I hope you're watching), for 183 yards and one touchdown. Non-fans, that's a great day for a wide receiver at any age.

Moss is coming off of a two-year stint with the Oakland Raiders, who lost to the Detroit Lions, one of the worst teams in the NFL for way too long. Check out this site honoring the Lions' GM, Matt Millen: www.firemillen.com. The Lions actually lost a 17-0 lead but managed to pull off the win, 36-21. Apparently the Raiders aren't so hot themselves, as one writer compared the victory to winning "a beauty contest among lepers." Ouch. I don't know about you, but I'd much rather be receiving passes from Tom Brady than whoever the Raiders decided to start at QB, so good move, Randy. (I want you all to know that I struggled mightily to phrase that in as non-suggestive a way as possible, but when they use terms like wide receiver, tight end . . . sacks, etc., it makes it hard difficult. Geesh.)

In a footnote to this game, I think my reserve Lions' running back Tatum Bell had a fire lit under his bum after finding out that the Raiders named a fumble-recovery drill after him. The privilege was bestowed upon dear Tatum because, while playing with the Denver Broncos last season, he fumbled the ball five times, failing to recover a single one of them. Today, he had no fumbles and he scored a touchdown to help seal the game for the Lions. Nothing better than a good butt-kicking to shut up your critics.

P.S. I know this is not sports related, but I just caught the MTV Video Music Awards, and I have to say that it was easy to write this and watch that because it was BORING. The stars seemed to be enjoying themselves in Vegas, though. Britney, I saw your performance, and I tried to root for you, I really did, but in the immortal words of Justin Timberlake "You got me saying damn girl . . . ." There were rumors that Justin was going to be performing with her, but I can see why he backed out. I don't know if she was nervous or hadn't practiced but woo! If you "missed" it, MTV will be showing it another thousand times this week.

And while we're talking about Justin, what is going on with the Emmy Awards that his skit on and song that he performed with Saturday Night Live's Andy Sandberg, D*ck in a Box, was not only nominated but actually won an Emmy?? And they're thinking of having them perform the song at the Emmys. Not buying it. This is a ploy to get us to watch the Emmys, and it's not going to work . . . but this skit is hilarious, though!