Title This One: "And Sometimes She Blogs, Too"

So many of my convos involve sports these days, I am starting to believe that it's just a more enjoyable forum to do what I like to do most: analyze things. Here are a few things I've been talking about:

1. Kudos to those of you who correctly guessed - on the blog and off - Ray Allen, aka Jesus Shuttlesworth, as the "smart guy" in Saturday's Quickie. I wrote the Quickie after finally seeing his PSA with his wife and son who has diabetes about the JDRF, which I thought might help you all figure out who I was talking about, but what do I know. If you read the blog, you know that I don't often support "hype" but trust me when I say this guy is the real deal . . . and rare. First Kevin Garnett, then Ray Allen. Who's next?

2. Carlos Boozer just said he would like to be a Utah Jazz next season. HA. I will believe it when I see it. It's funny because people had him going to the Pistons when they seemed like a title contender but now that they've effectively blown themselves up, he probably feels he's a lot closer to winning in Utah than he is to winning one in Detroit. I can't say I blame him since he isn't getting any younger and the Pistons are at least a few years away from a championship . . . yet I'm not certain Jerry Sloan can get over the "always a bridesmaid" hump with Utah, but some people feel better about at least coming close even if they never win. Not me. When my team gets to the finals and loses repeatedly, it's bad for my blood pressure, and it just plain sucks. I don't know how Portland Trailblazers fans did it back in the day. If they just stink, then at least I know what I'm getting. I can't be alone in this . . .

3. Unless you're a sports writer/reporter, a prospective player (or a member of said prospective player's massive entourage . . . ) - basically, employed in some way by the NFL either indirectly or directly, the NFL draft is somewhat of a snooze fest. How anyone can retain interest in watching 240 guys get picked is beyond me. Most people I know don't watch past the first 10 to 15 picks, and only listen out for their own teams picks. I mean, there are so many people to choose from, let's just admit this is sort of a random crapshoot after the first round or so, eh? Or admit that the way the players in the later rounds are picked is based on some criteria like, say, "finished 2nd in the 40 behind the guy who tested positive for weed during the combine." And these late picks may well be the guys who mean the most to the team in the long run. I think any GM who continually makes successful picks in the draft deserves a bonus just for that.

4. Derrick Rose! Show them why you were #1! I'm happy to see him rising to the occasion in his first playoff series, especially after the way he and Memphis let the championship slip from their grasp in the '08 NCAA final. Perhaps that was just a freshman mistake . . . only time will tell.

5. They're still showing Michael Vick's rescued dogs in segments on national news shows. The one I just watched (no idea what channel it was) featured a woman who was taking her Vick rescued dog to a trainer to help with its behavioral problems. And while this is still ongoing, she's bringing the dog around her small children. The interviewer asked her about this and she indicated that she wasn't concerned because of all the love and attention the dog was now receiving. Well, here's an anecdote for her: Recently, I was running out the door and left some chicken out on my stove in an aluminum tray. When I returned home, I discovered that my small-ish dog somehow managed to jump up on the stove, knock the tray down, and eat all of the chicken and most of the aluminum foil that was underneath it . . . all of which she managed to expel over the course of the next twelve hours. This is only the second time this has happened in the time I've had her, the first being nearly four years ago when she and her partner in crime jacked a Christmas ham. The moral of the story is this: dogs will be dogs so watch your back. . . and at least wait for the dog to complete the training before you loose it on your kids. I'm certain she wouldn't have allowed it around her kids if we were talking about a human who was trained to only kill people . . .

Monthly Rundown

It has been about a month since the last time I posted. Time is at a premium these days, but here's a little something something so it can't be said that I've abandoned my blog:

1) Tiger Woods can be defeated. Score one for the senior citizens!

2) So Alex Rodriguez tested positive for steroids. I still don't quite understand why this is a big deal . . . obviously, these guys are huge. Truthfully, I'd be more surprised if he wasn't shooting up. If I see one more story about how disappointed some writer is that some would-be-Hall-of-Fame-bound baseball player did steroids, I'm going to start writing letters to the editor. Maybe I'm too cynical, but I think these guys are approaching this with a tad too much naïvete. I mean, you've seen that guy who goes to your gym every single day and takes protein intravenously in the locker room - he STILL doesn't look like Mark McGwire!

3) The NBA All-Star game is this weekend. I've listened to the commentators debate over the past few weeks whether all-stars should come from subpar teams. My take on it is this: this is a popularity contest, folks. If you're putting up the numbers, have a top-selling jersey, or are good enough to have one of the Big 3 (now refers to Nike, Reebok, and Adidas) throw piles of money at you to sell their stuff, then you should be on the roster. I don't think the quality of your team should really count for much. This is a celebration of individual play, not the ability to make their bad teammates better. If I have to play alongside [insert names of four other guys who, if not for the right connections, would be playing overseas right now] (I'm turning over a new leaf and not calling anyone out), then I don't think I should be punished for it. That said, I am happy that the Cleveland Cavaliers' Mo Williams finally gets his chance to shine. Of course he was passed over twice (really, three times) and had to wait for guys (Jameer Nelson first and now Chris Bosh) to go down with injuries, but things have a way of working out exactly how they are supposed to.

4) So Plaxico Burress has a history of not paying his bills on time. The folks in the article seem to be blaming this on "he thinks he can do whatever he wants because he's a professional athlete." Except that not paying the bills on time makes him exactly like 90% of the attorneys I know (because they know the laws on debt collection, after all) and probably a solid percentage of the American public. It's amazing how quickly people will forget your game winning Super Bowl touchdown after you shoot yourself in the leg at a night club.

5) Pretty funny.

New Year, Same Run

I heard you can only say happy new year for a week, but I think it's allowed whenever you haven't spoken to someone since last year. So,

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Thanks to all who have sent me stories and said they missed me. I missed you, too. Without further ado, let's jump into the first run of the new year:



1. Donovan McNabb can really be a beast sometimes. And sometimes he can really be a fool. I've said before that winning covers up a multitude of sins. For those who didn't see it, near the end of the Philadelphia Eagles win over the New York Giants, a game in which Eli Manning completed his return to earth after last year's Super Bowl win, McNabb ran out of bounds on to the Giants sidelines, picked up the phone customarily used to communicate with the coordinators looking down on the game, and acted like he was making a phone call. That little antic cost his team a 15 yard penalty. And earned him a nice rebuke from former fellow QB Troy Aikman: "Sometimes I just don't know what's going through that guy's head." McNabb acknowledged it wasn't the smartest move after the game, and luckily for him the game was pretty much out of reach. But that's the kind of stuff that makes Iggles fans dislike him. McNabb's a veteran and he knows officials don't put up with any shenanigans. Completely ridiculous, that's all I have to say.

2. So Tim Tebow decided that it's better to play college football than to make millions playing for the Detroit Lions. Even in this economy, he wasn't willing to possibly ruin his career. Smart man.

3. My how the might have fallen. The Boston Celtics went from amazing to awful in the course of a month. Now, they're just happy to get a win over the Toronto Raptors, which is really no win at all. Although the Celts finally snapped their losing streak, Kevin Garnett managed to go an ice cold 3-16. This is a prime example of how the mental side of the game is often more important than being physically talented. This is not a different team from earlier in the season, this is the same team who is now not disturbed by the idea of losing. I'm still not a Celts fan but I'll do just about anything to not have to see the Cleveland Cavaliers coming out of the East. And it's not that I don't like the Cavs (Ok, it's not just that I don't like the Cavs), but I just don't believe they're talented enough to go all the way in the playoffs, despite this recent ride. I just don't see all the tools there that typically comprise championship teams. LeBron James is talented enough for sure, but every superstar needs support to get over the hump. While his guys are playing well now, I have a feeling they'll be playing nearer to their historic averages (read: not quite as hot) come playoff time. We'll just have to wait and see . . .

4. University of North Carolina men's basketball team is 0-2 in ACC play. Maybe now this will end all of that Tyler Hansbrough/Naismith player of the year talk . . . at least for a few weeks. I'll take what I can get.

5. I thought about discussing the other NFL games, but you've probably seen SportsCenter twelve times since then like I have. This is a little video montage passed along by a faithful reader. He likes #3, I'm still blown by #4. Although #3 is kind of hilarious, it doesn't quite count as a MYSM so it's rounding out the top five.




Happy Monday!

Running Through My Mind

A few random musings (I wrote this several days ago and just never got around to posting):

1) NBA firings are apparently at an all-time high for this point in the season. Six coaches have been given their walking papers and we're barely 1/4 into the season. The chopped list includes: Reggie Theus by the Sacramento Kings, Maurice Cheeks by the Philadelphia 76er's, Eddie Jordan by the Washington Wizards, Sam Mitchell by the Toronto Raptors, Randy Wittman by the Minnesota Timberwolves, and P.J. Carlesimo by the Oklahoma City Thunder. I agree with cutting off the head sometimes, but for most of these, I really think they coach was a scapegoat, covering up the real, massive problem: the team sucks. I won't elaborate on which coaches I think needed to go (to protect the innocent) but suffice it to say that this is a short term solution to a problem that goes way deeper than the head coach. Almost all of these teams are underachieving, and one literally just started a few months ago. Is it the economy? Lack of fans? Whatever the reason, firing the coach this early is akin to throwing in the towel for the year, and, frankly, it's just not very creative . . . especially the Kings who waited for five other heads to roll before he got the boot in the back. What followers.

2) Have I ever mentioned how much I love Stephon Marbury? He is the only guy in the league who would buy a front row ticket to a game in which he is being paid to play but the team doesn't want him. Seriously, the only one. Maybe Latrell Sprewell would have pulled such a move back in his day but other than that, I can't think of anyone. I caught his interview at the game, and he did one of my favorites: "me, myself . . ." I never understood what that means, I guess it's sort of like "um" for the urban set. He really keeps things interesting.

3) Allen Iverson was fined for "making inappropriate comments" to a fan during a Detroit Pistons visit to the Charlotte Bobcats, a game which the Pistons eventually won. I wonder if these guys budget for fines and suspensions . . .

4) So the Atlanta Hawks weren't a fluke and really do have something close to a legitimate response to the Boston Celtics. I will admit that the Celtics have really been impressive. I didn't like the idea of throwing a bunch of superstars together just to win a championship, but by golly, it worked. Two stars may not be enough, but three is solid, especially if one of them is a 7 foot shooter. But the Hawks almost beat them and looked good doing it. I'll have to continue to monitor this as the season develops . . .

5) I've been saying this for a long time, and now I'm finally going public with it. Twins?

Stuart from Mad TV:




Tyler from UNC:

Running Back

So I've had quite a last few months, hence the lack of posts. I responded to a comment on my Plax post so check it out and jump in the conversation if you feel so inclined.

I have a few moments so I thought I'd do a little running on some random ruminations:



1) Joey Porter came to the defense of Plaxico Burress. During an interview that's set to appear on ESPN tomorrow (but I found it for you), Porter says that carrying a gun is essential as an NFL player, and when asked whether he carried a gun, he stumbled a bit over the answer but he admitted that he did, and that his interviewer should, too, if he cares about his family. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell's take on it? He says (I'm paraphrasing) that if you're in a place where a gun is necessary, then you should leave that place. Hmm . . . so does that count for what happened to Sean Taylor? I might need to do a separate post on this, but I think his statement's a tad ignorant, in the truest sense of the word. I guarantee the same people coming after Goodell aren't coming after Porter and Burress.

2) This Stephen Curry kid (how the heck do you pronounce his name, really? Found it: STEFF-in) is just about the sweetest looking basketball player I've ever seen. By sweet, I mean like nice and sweet - not "sweet," but he is that, too. (And not that kind of sweet). He doesn't even look like he's trying and then he just launches these shots from out of nowhere. I always wonder about guys who are wildly popular in college (i.e., J.J. Redick) and whether translate into NBA success (no). It's a possibility but for some reason, I can't picture him in an NBA uniform. I think it's the face.

3) Going back to the NFL for a moment - I'd heard that sports probably wouldn't be safe during this recession. Now, the NFL is laying off 150 folks. What, not enough fines this year to keep your people employed? The "funny" part is that the layoffs are due to an anticipated downturn in ticket sales for next season. I'm all for forecasting and all that jazz but I think this might be a little premature. Of course, I'll concede the NFL has tracked ticket sales in recessions and might know more than I do . . . but a lot can happen in a year. It's almost Christmas! And we thought NFL = "not for long" referred to just the players.

4) I missed the Oscar De La Hoya fight (he fought alleged marquee boxer Manny Pacquiao . . . I concede the boy is good. Happy?) on Saturday night but from all accounts, that should really have been the Golden Boy's swan song. I caught a little bit of the bout and he looked pretty slow and tired out there. Although he rallied against Floyd Mayweather last year, he clearly has lost the goods that warranted him even a decision in the Felix Trinidad fight (wow, that was nine years ago - I remember where I was when I watched it). Now, he's just messing with his legacy. I know he'll miss the money, but he's still a young man, and I think still pretty enough to sell more than just grills and get paid handsomely (no pun intended) for doing so.

5) I'm cheating, I know, this isn't a story, but I missed MYSM, so I'm sharing. The move or the commentating - I'm not sure what's better. Please, Derrick, don't hurt 'em!

Tuesday Football Rundown

Time is money, so we're jumping right in:

1. This is hilarious. For people to suggest that he did this because he's betting on the games is even funnier. It seems there are better ways to alter the outcome than taking out the QB. I've watched it a few times and I just don't see how what the ref did can be seen as anything other than a ref losing his mind momentarily. Where's the fine??



2. Kellen Winslow may be coming out of his pocket for his mouth. Winslow is not happy about how the Cleveland Brown treated him following his three day hospitalization with a staph infection, a problem the Browns have been trying to sweep under the locker room floor. They should have known they were going to have an issue if this guy got it. He's a "freakin'" soldier, after all. Maybe now they'll try to figure out why it's happening instead of trying to hide it. Staph infections? Seriously, that's just gross . . . and Winslow's entirely too pretty for all that.

3. Let's call this one "more like 'sucking' Broncos." Monday Night Football featured a blowout courtesy of the New England Patriots, who whooped up on the Denver Broncos 41-7. Were the Pats looking to prove on the premier stage that they still got it even without their golden boy? I think so.

4. Adam "Pacman" Jones has entered alcohol rehab. I believe that means one of two things: a) he (or his people) reads the blog, and/or b) he's coming back to the NFL. "Both a) and b)" is also an acceptable answer.

5. Looks like we're going all football, all the time today. The morning-after death knell tolled again, and this time its victim is San Francisco 49ers coach Mike Nolan. Apparently, he wasn't going to be fired:

Earlier Monday, [49ers VP Jed York] had said Nolan's job was safe for the time being."What changed," he said later, "was there were numerous reports (that Nolan would be fired) that were a distraction."

That may be one of the weakest excuses I've ever heard for firing someone. So Nolan's job was safe until people started saying his job wasn't safe, at which point his job became not safe and was in fact in extreme danger. Nice.

6. Try to catch the ESPN commercial with Dwight Howard and Tracy McGrady (and some others you probably wouldn't know) featuring new additions to the team RV. If I can find it online, I will post it. Good stuff.

Flying and Running

I'm leaving on a jet plane this morning. I'm planning to return on Thursday, which might mean no post that day, but I've been known to surprise people including myself. Here's one for the road:


1. There's an update to that Houston Astros' pitcher wedding arrest. It turns out that after the wedding, the group went to the bar. The bride's brother tried to bring an outside drink into the bar when a fight ensued . . . which ended in the brother and his father - the bride's father - getting tasered and pepper sprayed by the police, and the brother airlifted to a hospital. Astros' pitcher Brandon Backe was apparently trying to break up the attack. At first blush, this sounded like a case of "liquid courage," but after reading more details and different takes on it, including eyewitness accounts of what happened, it sounds like the police lost it. (It's too bad that the first charges are against the regular folks and it's not until much later that the cops get charged . . . if they ever do. At least they're investigating it.) Tasing and pepper spray? Pepper spray is not a game. One time, I tried to make a French Open tennis court for my French class (I won't say how old I was because I was definitely old enough to know better). Being creative, I found the perfect substitute for the red clay of Roland Garros: cayenne pepper. You know how they say it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye? It's true. Everything was going well until I got to the part of cleaning of the white lines on the "court." My solution? Blow on them. And it was at that exact moment that I learned what it was like to be pepper sprayed. That was definitely one of the most painful nights of my life. And when I brought my work of art to class, I had to plaster a huge "DO NOT TOUCH - DEATH MAY ENSUE!" sign on it. I also had a taser gun in college (courtesy of my concerned relative) but, thankfully, I have no story connected with that one. The moral of the story is cops shouldn't be able to just spray and tase folks all will-nilly. That's how people get hurt. Just ask R. Kelly.

2. I was right about Reggie Bush. Now that he's gotten more serious about his football, Kim Kardashian's talking about going back (no pun intendd) on Dancing with the Stars. I won't allow it. Not unless they test her for a soul first - if you've watched her dancing on the show, then you understand. Beautiful girl, but wow.

3. Someone is stalking Los Angeles Lakers' forward Luke Walton. Did she get him confused with his dad, Bill? Otherwise, I'm a little confused by her choice. She had already marked up his car, why did he wait until she fired at him with a "fake gun" (Luke's description of the woman making a gun out of her hands) before he decided she wasn't all there? I must note that all of this occurred after he refused to give her an autograph. Luke. . . um, I don't know how to break this to you, but are you really in a position to be refusing autographs? Perhaps you should be grateful that anyone has noticed there are other players on the floor besides Kobe Bryant.

4. NBA legend Elgin Baylor is out as the general manager of the Los Angeles Clippers. The Clippers say he resigned, but Baylor says "you'll be hearing from my lawyers." Baylor is 74 years old and by all accounts hadn't really been running things for years - that was coach Mike Dunleavy's unofficial job, and Dunleavy will now take over Baylor's duties. I don't really get the Clippers. I don't get why they're in L.A. when they already have (and love) the Lakers, and I don't get why they have never quite been able to turn the corner even though they had a few opportunities to do so. So, I guess firing a 74 year old man who was holding his position in name only isn't so far-fetched. I guess that's what you get for messing with the Clippers . . . and the Oakland Raiders . . . and the Detroit Lions . . . and . . .

5. Barry Bonds came out of hiding to tell us he loves his freedom away from baseball. I suppose he is free in that waiting-to-be-sentenced kind of way, but let's not get too far ahead of ourselves . . .

Running and Winking

If you're like me, then you not only watched the Vice Presidential debate, but you watched the 6 hour post-game wrap-up and replay on CNN. I actually ventured over to FOX News' website and was surprised to see "liberal" articles. But that doesn't mean I'm going back. Plus, Anderson Cooper's much easier on the eyes and ears than Shepard Smith.

So perhaps you'd welcome a reprieve with a little bit of sports talk. I aim to please:

1. What are the odds that O.J. Simpson would be waiting on a verdict on the anniversary of the last time he received a verdict? An even better question is what the odds are that he'll be acquitted again. Even if I had watched the entire trial (I haven't followed it all), I couldn't tell you with any certainty who would win. A judge I know once told me that even he had been surprised during his many years on the bench by jury verdicts, and the only thing he knows for certain is that you just can't tell. If I were a betting woman, I'd go with not guilty, because somehow I think O.J. was meant to suffer on the outside. Just a feeling . . .

2. Warren Sapp is a jack of all trades. He's toe-tapping on Monday and Tuesday, and Wednesday he's giving football opinions. And he certainly had some interesting things to say. Sapp, who played with the Oakland Raiders before he retired from the NFL in 2007, said in an interview that Al Davis (surprise, surprise) knows old school football with old school athletes, but is about 30 or 40 years behind the times. He also says that Davis would call in plays during the games. Wow. I don't know if that happens in other places but that's the ultimate sign of a control-freak. That's jumping past three levels of people (management, coordinators, and coach) to whom he has supposedly given over control to directly affect what happens on the field. Sapp further confirmed what many others have already pointed out: Lane Kiffin was dead as a doornail before he even got there. What a sad state of affairs out there in Oakland. At least the weather's kind of nice this time of year . . . and it's pretty.

3. What a sad (by Pleats 'n Cleats standards) story. I'm sorry it only gets this little bit of space . . . I may give it more when I have a moment. University of Connecticut freshman Nate Miles, who was to be a forward on the UConn basketball team, has reportedly been expelled from school for allegedly assaulting a fellow female student. Miles has been accused of violating a restraining order issued against him after a UConn student claimed he attempted to force her to have sex with him. Although this does not affect whether he tried to force her to have sex on a particular occasion, it should be noted that the two had been in a consensual sexual relationship since September. Upon finding out that he violated the order by calling the woman 20 minutes after it was issued by the court, the school reportedly expelled him. Wow. I don't know all the facts but that seems harsh, especially in light of the fact that the charges against him could be dismissed if he goes to counseling. I read that he had attended five different high schools, but I don't see how that makes it OK to drop the kid the first time he allegedly messes up. I have to imagine that he must have been on the edge already and this just tipped it. (UConn coach Jim Calhoun has certainly had a challenge with his recruits, eh? Google for the full story.) If Miles did something wrong, he should certainly be punished in a meaningful way and not just slapped on the wrist, but just kicking him to the curb is not the answer. I do hope he receives help if he needs it and is able to either successfully appeal this or find a new program. If he was good enough for UConn, then he's good enough for just about all the other teams around the country. I will definitely be keeping an eye on this one . . .

4. I'm sorry, but I have to switch over just a moment to make this public service announcement: 1) "Nucular" is not a word. It's time to throw out those Bush tapes you used to prepare. 2) Winking is not appropriate during a debate. Twice is grounds for disqualification. 3) General McClellan was a commander in the Civil War. Although a certain candidate may have made his acquaintance, he has been dead for over a century. He probably didn't have much to say about Afghanistan back then. 4) I didn't know you could "choose your own adventure" in books and debates. 5) "Shout out" is so 1990's. "Big ups" would have gone over much better.

5. Ok, I'm back. I just had to get that off my chest. I haven't been much into baseball this year, but the playoffs are usually pretty interesting to me for some strange reason. Maybe it's because I do like baseball but they play too many "doggone" games during the year which dilutes the value in watching any particular game. Even with basketball, unless it's a good team, I can't really just watch any game. (And any sport where you can play twice in a day is borderline an activity anyway. . . but I digress.) I have kept my ear to the ground enough to know that the New York Yankees, despite their bloated salaries, are not in the playoffs, and the Chicago Cubs are looking at a World Series run . . . ok, maybe that's "were." The Cubs have dropped the first two games in their series against the L.A. Dodgers. Shockingly, I missed the game Thursday night in favor of the debate. But I did catch this picture which is worth at least a thousand words (also about the number of people who will approach him at work on Friday). I hope his kids are old enough to enjoy (or be embarrassed by) this and that his wife gets this framed for him.



Enjoy the weekend!

Eternal Rundown of the Youthful Mind(ed)

This is getting to be a pattern, but I'm running on fumes:

1. Why, Travis, why? Former Denver Broncos' running back Travis Henry was arrested yesterday for allegedly taking part in a cocaine deal. Henry was cut from the Broncos in June following a host of other problems. He was lucky he even got to play last season. The NFL had banned him for the season after failing a drug test, but he successfully had that decision overturned. Of course we don't have all of the facts yet, but it doesn't look like there will be any overcoming this. I hate to see this, but these are the consequences when you let talent cover up personality flaws. Hopefully, it's not too late for him to get his life together, because he has nine (confirmed) children who call him "father" and it's kind of hard to support them when you're unemployed, or in prison.

2. The WNBA Finals between the Detroit Shock and San Antonio Silver Stars started Wednesday night. I made it home in time to catch mention of it on Sports Center, where I was told that there were 6 seconds left in the game. In the 30 seconds it took me to try to figure out what channel ESPN2 is on my TV, the game ended. When I finally found it, I saw Shock coach Bill Laimbeer shaking hands with the Silver Stars. Great game! I tried to find a re-broadcast somewhere but no luck. The day this league gets publicity will be the day . . . the league gets publicity. Too bad. I actually got an e-mail about it earlier today, but that was the extent of it. I did DVR the rest of the games so I'll have more to say. Oh, and Game 1 went to the Shock.

3. Maybe Joey ("my benchmark") Harrington is a master baby bootie knitter. How else do you explain the fact that while Wall Street bankers and other NFL players (like Daunte Culpepper) can't find a job, Harrington has had several since the season started? The only plausible explanation is that he knits a mean bootie for his teammates' children. Just last week, Harrington got canned by the New Orleans Saints on the same day that Matt Millen lost his job. But Wednesday, the Saints picked him back up (Millen, as far as I know, is still out of work). Harrington was the third overall pick in the NFL draft (by the Detroit Lions, but still, third is third), but he's tops on my list of current QB's who are out of their league. I kind of feel bad for the guy because he takes a lot of flak for his poor play. Maybe it's the teams' fault for putting him in the position to be a bust. But either way, the fact that he continues to be gainfully employed is nothing short of amazing. Or crazy.

4. Terrell Owens seldom fails to cause chatter about himself. In defending his statements made the other day about not getting the ball, T.O. says he said it out of anger at the loss and not because of any particular problems with the Dallas Cowboys offense (or to be more specific, Tony Romo. He ended with a promise to us all that this will not be the last time he talks about wanting the ball. He also addressed his "haters" - without saying anything, during the entire interview, he continually refers to ESPN commentator and former NFL wide receiver Keyshawn Johnson as "Sheshawn." (The back drop is that the Cowboys signed T.O. when they dropped Johnson.) Following Owens' remarks, Johnson and others had said on-air that Owens needs a good talk to address his behavior. Owns shot back: "He is the ultimate underachiever on that panel," Owens said of Johnson. "I am the reason he is in the booth. Everybody is aware when I was brought to Dallas he was the one they let go to get me here." No one has ever denied that T.O. speaks the truth, but his delivery really leaves a lot to be desired . . . as an avid reader so aptly put it, "speaking something that may be true doesn't always mean you're right." I couldn't have said it better myself.

5. Normally, I do not write about myself on here, and probably never have in a run-down, but this was sports (if not news) worthy so it's rounding out my top five. I consider myself to be in pretty decent shape, and actually, have been working out a lot harder than I have in my post-college athlete days. Although I'm far removed from those days, I like to trick my body into believing that I'm not. Only my body is much smarter than I am, and it, like the house, always wins. I can't tell you how many of my friends who are former athletes have broken and torn things in the last year due to having a youthful mind but a body that hasn't quite adjusted. Wednesday, I came out of retirement for the first time in a very long time with my "youthful mind" in tow. I played fairly well, felt good. All was going well . . . until I lay (is that right, dad?) down on the couch. Just now, after getting through the first four stories, I tried to stand up. And it hurts, so I may not try that again until tomorrow . . .

Running Down Weird Al

Jumping right in:



1. I'm calling this "He's not who I thought he was." (Thank you, Denny Green). The Al Davis (aka Oakland) Raiders will have a new coach, per Mr. Davis himself:

You have to watch the rest of the press conference because this guy is a trip. Among other claims, Davis says that now-former coach Lane Kiffin was trying to lose and was looking for other jobs. (Can he blame him?) And he's not trying to pay Kiffin the remainder of his salary (hence the "for cause" pronouncement from Davis, for all you non-legal types). Kiffin was none too pleased by what amounted to a public shaming of Kiffin by Davis. And like the other two bottom-feeder teams (Lions and Rams) that have shaken things up in the past week, they're probably not going to change much anytime soon. Hey, at least these teams are acting like they care. But the Raiders are now on their fifth coach in almost as many years, and I don't think many people believe Al Davis really cares about much more than Al Davis. I won't stoop so low as other folks who are wishing death upon the man, but Davis might consider loosening that vice grip so people will start taking his team seriously . . . but he won't, so I won't argue with him.

2. Speaking of shake ups, Marc Bulger is a happier man after being restored to starting QB of the St. Louis Rams by new coach Jim Haslett. Trent Green might not like this move, but he should really be ecstatic that he's been spared from the sieve-like Rams offensive line. As Dan Quayle once said, "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." Look at this as a blessing in disguise, Trent.

3. Warren "Twinkle Toes" Sapp is on Dancing with the Stars this season. Check out his paso doble:

I have new found respect for extremely large football players. I am absolutely amazed at how huge and light on his toes he is - awesome footwork. I'm not sure about those Matrix costumes, though.

4. Ricky Williams has a problem. The Miami Dolphins had a bye week, which left Ricky with nothing to do. He thought to himself "I'm free, what can I do?" While you and I may have considered running errands, returning phone calls, or maybe spending time with friends or family, Ricky wanted to use his freedom to smoke weed. But he didn't, not because it's illegal, but because if he does, he will not get another chance in the NFL. (Why he decided to share this is anyone's guess, but it's Ricky, he does that.) But then you go on to read that he gets 9 random drug tests every month. That's more than twice a week of people showing up at your door at various times of the day. So I guess they don't really believe you'd stop smoking on your own, Ricky. And he says that he'd be lying if he said he wasn't going to smoke weed when he's done with the NFL (let's hope that means retired by choice and not by force). This guy . . .

5. One basketball story: An avid Pleats 'n Cleats reader passed along this story about University of Wisconsin basketball player, Marcus Landry, who is married with two kids, and still makes time for school. His wife also played college basketball, but at Marquette University. Landry's not just a father, he's also a "dad" to his two little ones, tucking them in at night and bringing his son to team meetings. Although it shouldn't be a big deal when a man like Landry takes care of his responsibilities, the reality is that this kind of maturity is exemplary, especially in the demanding college basketball setting. His kids will certainly thank him for it. It's stories like this that raise the bar for everyone else. Love it.

Run Out of Town

Packing (or should be) for another weekend of adventure. And so we run:

1. I watched my second college football game this season, coincidentally involving the USC Trojans again, this time against the Oregon State University Beavers. Ok, not so coincidentally, because USC is the #1 team in the country, but, still coincidentally because I hadn't planned to watch it. Oregon State has USC's number, huh? Wow. I was looking around at some other sports blogs during the game and saw that most had pretty much dismissed Oregon State, despite last year's defeat of the Trojans. OSU (the other one) had this tiny tailback, Jacquizz (?) Rodgers who they say is 5'6" but looked to be about six inches less than that on the field. And I've seen some 5'8" guys in the NFL and this guy was nowhere near that. I'm guessing he's closer to a Prince-ly 5'4" (Rogers, ironically, is Prince's middle name). What's with short stars at Oregon schools? University of Oregon basketball player Tajuan Porter, one of the better players in the PAC-10, is also reportedly 5'6", but I think this is just an acceptable cutoff height. In any case, Rodgers, the self-proclaimed "little dude," lit up USC for 186 yards on 37 carries. Most yards on USC since . . . Vince Young in the BCS national championship game back in 2006 - another college football game I watched. His older brother and OSU wide receiver, James (why'd they do that to the younger one?), had two scores of his own. That's quite a story to tell to their kids . . . just like Al Bundy, but real. USC tried to come back in the second half, but the Beavers held off the Trojans (um . . .) for the win. Just another example of why they still play the game.

2. Kimbo Slice on PTI.

I don't know too much about his "sport" - mixed martial arts (coincidentally, I mentioned it on the blog the other day for the first time in the WNBA post) - but I am somewhat familiar with his story: homeless streetfighter on YouTube to superstardom as an ultimate fighter. What I didn't know is that he went to the University of Miami on an academic scholarship, even though he was a talented football player in high school. After watching this interview, I'm not surprised. My dad actually sent me a text last night asking me to post on Kimbo (I just can't call him Slice), but when I saw him on PTI, I realized daddy-o was right. His "five good minutes" Thursday is one of the better interviews I've seen in a while. "I'm just a little squirrel in this big world and I'm still trying to get my nut." Very regular person doing extraordinary things. Love it.

3. I'm calling this one "Knicks betta have my money!" Continuing with the video theme, Stephon Marbury and his chest decided to come out of hiding on Thursday. Starbury sat down with a local NBC affiliate to discuss all the rumors about what he will be doing (or where he will be sitting) when the Knicks season starts. He says he's not taking a penny less than the Knicks owe him (which he shouldn't, they're the ones who agreed to pick up his hefty contract when he came from the Phoenix Suns). He also says he's mentally, spiritually, and physically right . . . I'll stop my cynicism here because, say what you want about Marbury, I really do think he's a good person. He could maybe use some work on his delivery. It's a fairly long interview, but certainly one worth watching (although the difference in volume between Marbury (low) and the reporter (high "deaf") may get annoying).

4. The NFL has ruled that the Baltimore Ravens running back Willis McGahee was not intentionally gouged in the eye during the Ravens win over the Cleveland Browns last Sunday. The Ravens submitted film to the league for a determination on whether the alleged "gougings" (two times in two separate incidents) were intentional. Apparently, the films showed the opposing Browns' players reaching under the visor to poke McGahee in the eye. Now McGahee may not play due to the injury to his eyes. Eye gouging? Is this 2008 B.C. or A.D.? You don't hear that term too often these days, probably with good reason. The last time eye gouging got my attention was in fifth grade when they showed us The Birds for Halloween. I won't spoil it for you in case you haven't seen it yet - even though you've had 45 years - but all I know is I have never liked birds ever since. Hmm. Ravens = birds. Creepy.

5. Monta Ellis, the over well-paid guard for the Golden State Warriors, claimed that he got scraped up and ripped up his ankle playing basketball. Surprise! Since exactly no one has ever been injured in basketball that way, it turns out Ellis was fibbing, and he really got hurt while riding a moped. At a slow speed. Of course. If you're going to lie (which I don't condone) then at least make it make sense. He had to have known the truth would come to light at some point, so now not only did he lie, but he told a really bad lie. Of course, on the flip side, he had everything to lose. Literally. That $66 million they're paying him for the next 6 years could have gone up in smoke. Under the terms of the standard NBA contract, Ellis violated the provision covering (pardon my French) "******** up your career doing some dumb ****." Really, I quoted that verbatim. They ought to add "poor lying" to the terms, too, which should be worth at least a few extra paychecks. He's just lucky that they need him now that Baron "I make sand castles with Jessica" Davis has defected for the Sacramento Kings. Hopefully he has learned his lesson.

And I've learned mine. I need more time and sleep! Enjoy the presidential debates (if they happen) and the weekend (pretty likely to happen)!

Endweek Downrun

Long day tomorrow . . . and the rest of the weekend. I received a nice comment on the Kenny George article from someone who works at his school. I hope to be able to follow up on his story at some point down the road.

Unfortunately, the following stories don't quite inspire the same hope (well, I guess that depends on your perspective), but I believe in balance. Jumping right in:



1. Michael Beasley has now been fined $50,000 for unspecified conduct during the rookie orientation program in which his fellow rookies, Darrell Arthur and Mario Chalmers already coughed up $20,000. I had heard rumors about his involvement but nothing was ever substantiated so I certainly wasn't going to write anything unless it seemed credible. (It's tough enough being in the public eye without people writing untruths about you and presenting it as fact.) But it seems something went down, and the punishment appears to be just that - punitive - since Beasley didn't cooperate with the investigation. Something else seems to be going on, though, since Beasley canned his agent last week, too. I'm sure we'll find out more about this shortly . . .


2. The WNBA playoffs have started. What? You didn't know they were in season? Maybe you couldn't find their tab on ESPN.com. It's kind of hard to find under "mixed martial arts." What happened to that big marketing push they started when Candace Parker came to the league? I haven't seen her or anyone else on TV since the night she was drafted. SportsCenter very rarely mentions the league unless a fight or other controversy occurs. Did they even compete in the Olympics? I'm going to tune in to the playoffs, though. I watched them last year and was quite entertained. I just wonder how long the NBA will continue funneling money to this league without doing more to promote it. It's like they don't want to end it and face criticism that they're being sexist, but on the other hand, they want to see it fail so they can say "I told you no one was into this." We'll see who wins.

3. Just a day after talking about both Adrian Peterson and LaDainian Tomlinson (AP and LT, respectively), neither was able to practice today, and it's not clear they'll play this weekend . . .and the fantasy football bust just keeps moving . . .

4. Speaking of busts, the Detroit Lions have been "interviewing" several former high-profile running backs this week who are looking for jobs, including Cedric Benson (da Bears) and Shaun Alexander (Seahawks), among others. The Lions claim that they aren't hiring immediately and are only window shopping in case of injuries. Sure, I buy that. Now, they probably have a greater need at just about every other position, so more RB's may not make sense, but the Lions are at (or past, depending on whom you ask) the point of no return, so I say anything is better than stagnancy. Whoever gets his luggage lifted first has been signed.


5. Alex "A-Rod" Rodriguez and his (now former) wife Cynthia reached an amicable settlement of their divorce proceedings. No dirt and public mud-slinging? That's definitely a first, especially considering how the events surrounding their divorce were splashed across the New York dailies for the better part of a month until she finally decided to file. So this relatively quick settlement can only mean one of two things: 1) the prenuptial agreement was air tight, fair to both parties, and contained no terms which could be disputed by either of their lawyers . . . or 2) whatever he's trying to hide is worse than we imagined. I know, I know, this is a tough one.

Have a great weekend!

Just Running

So it turns out I really do need sleep. And today was one of the least exciting sports days that I can recall. That can only mean one thing:

1. Kobe Bryant is taking it like a man (what does that really mean?) and is deciding to forego pinkie surgery. Coincidentally, several people I know who've played basketball have really fmessed up pinkie fingers that they never got fixed. It may not look pretty, but as long as his pinkie can support the ball, he'll probably be OK. I always knew he was tough.

2. San Francisco 49ers QB Alex Smith looks like he's out for the year with a broken shoulder. (This was not supposed to be an injury report, I swear). And it looks like he's thrown his last pass for the 49ers - for good. He came in with high hopes, and ended up . . . injured. I recall a certain someone from my fantasy team (who may or may not read this blog) who had him on their team and ended up regretting it. It sounds like another case of a guy with an injury that needs time being forced to come back before he's ready. And unfortunately, the person who pays the worst price is always the athlete. Check out this article by Jemele Hill, where she virtually composes an open-letter to Shawne Merriman asking him to stop playing. (Turns out he didn't have a choice.) And as an added injury-bonus, DJ Gallo from Page 2 explains why Matt Cassel's better than Tom Brady. Funny stuff.

3. I caught the tail end of the L.A. Angels/N.Y. Yankees game on ESPN. The Angels clinched the AL West with the win, the first team to have a solid spot in October. I also caught the familiar champagne bath after the game. I thought about how it was funny to see a team celebrating like that just for making the playoffs, but I guess the season's so long and the playoffs only include a few teams so it's a bigger deal than in other sports. But who knows. Baseball has so many "traditions" that it's hard to keep track sometimes . . . I may have mentioned here that I used to turn on baseball games to take naps, and I actually fell asleep during the game tonight, but maybe it was just a Pavlov's dog reaction. I can fully admit I'm more ho-hum than usual because no team I care about has been in contention. This fight between Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez and Torii Hunter did pique my interest. Just a bit. Actually, the fact that Derek Jeter passed Babe Ruth's Yankees record for most hits also interests me. As you saw a few days ago, I'm skeptical of any accolades received when the playing field fails to include everyone who could beat you. Congrats, Jeter.

4. Continuing the theme, allegedly, there's this like, really big college football game on Saturday featuring USC v. Ohio State - the #1 and #5 ranked teams in the country, respectively. I haven't been much of a college football fan but I think I may watch this one. That is, if I have energy after Camp Obama . . . if not, DVR will have to come through in the clutch. Have I mentioned how much I love DVR yet? Or how happy I am that I never gave Comcast my money for this service?

5. #3 and #4 above made me realize now that I need to expand my sports horizons so I have more to write in these run-downs (I rarely run out of material for the longer posts, I just run out of time!) Since football's primarily a Sunday event, there just isn't much action to keep my attention on the weekdays. . . until the NBA starts up. Jessica Simpson/Tony Romo stories just don't do it for me - although the "Yoko Romo" tag was amusing.

6. I know it's usually five, but just as I was about to wrap this up, I turned on vh1 to check out Luke's Parental Advisory. When I turned it on, I wasn't sure which "Luke" they were referring to (Luke Jensen got a reality show?) but then I saw that Uncle Luke aka Doo Doo Brown, former fearless leader of 2 Live Crew, has his own show. In the two minutes I saw, I caught the following: Luke and his fiancee, Kristin, appear to be getting married soon, so they are sitting with someone talking about potential videographers. The other guy tells Uncle Luke about a few and notes that one of them shoots "pornos." Luke, naturally, says he wants this guy. Why? Because he is "good at close ups" and "taking tight shots" (and as Luke later tells us, "You know he can get the money shot.") When Kristin protests, this other guy says he's siding with the bride on this one. She actually seems like a classy lady. Further proof that love really is blind.

Running From City To City

So much excitement in the world of sports, just over the weekend. I wish I had another person to write for me, but thus far, it's just me (if you want to guest blog, let me know!) So that means not enough time to cover everything. My selection:

1. Exciting first weekend in the NFL. My brief observations: Brett Favre looks good in his new suit, eh? Did he really call them "New Yorkians"? As I told Novak Djokovic, I'm available for American culture lessons...Way to go Aaron Rodgers, even doing the "Lambeau Leap" like that other guy. Keep winning, they'll forget all about him...More and more the NFL seems like it stands for "Not For Long" with all of these significant injuries on day one, including Brady, Vince Young, Nate Burleson, at least 15 others. What gives?...What happened to the Colts?...The Philadelphia Eagles, and more specifically, Donovan McNabb, look very good...St. Louis looks...the same. And with the Lions performance, that makes two of them...Kudos, though, to Atlanta Falcons QB Matt Ryan. Keep winning, they'll forget all about him...Happy to see Jay Cutler (with his Denver Broncos) doing well in his first regular season game since learning he has diabetes. Very much looking forward to seeing how the rest of this season shakes out, and I don't even have a fantasy team. Go figure.

2. U.S. Open wins by Roger Federer and Serena Williams. I love seeing people (around) my age still getting it done. Serena's final was much more interesting than Fed's, but the best matches were definitely played in their quarterfinal and semifinal rounds, respectively. Each got a "milli"* and a half for their efforts and regained their respective perch at the top of the rankings - Fed, of course, not having left that long ago. This is a huge deal for Serena though, hence the high racquet throw at the end of the match. Her win effectively silences all of the critics who said her and her sister weren't dedicated to the game. They don't need to do what everyone else does. They're really just that good. And so is that Oreo commercial featuring the Williams sisters vs. the Manning brothers (see video in right corner). I love the concept but must admit I'd prefer it was for something healthy like, PowerBar, rather than Double Stuf Oreos. Ah, well.

3. I am really curious to know what in the world Monta Ellis did to his ankle that would cause him to lie to the Golden State Warriors about its cause. He claimed he hurt it playing basketball, but then it was discovered that he tore his deltoid ligament and had multiple scrapes and scratches, "not typical of a basketball injury." I got scratched in basketball once and still have the scar on my arm to prove it, but yeah, he really should have made sure his story would check out better than this before he decided to lie. I don't know him, but I'll guess it's something silly that violates his contract like wheelies on an ATV or motorcycle, parachuting, extreme jump roping, bear-wrestling, etc. I'm kinda hoping it's one of the latter two and not any of the first three. The truth comes to the light eventually...

4. Marion Jones left prison. Sad. (Some of these news stories are a little harsh, don't you think? I don't see other admitted dopers getting treated this harshly.)

5. I saw an ad the other morning for a new show on National Geographic called Dogtown: Saving the Michael Vick Dogs. Normally, I would think this was a great idea...if it weren't the season premiere of the Dogtown series and if it didn't include his name in the title. It seems a bit exploitative, premiering not coincidentally within a day of the Atlanta Falcon's own season. Not that I expect much out of Hollywood these days, but I thought National Geographic was different. I guess I was wrong. Why can't we let sleeping dogs lie?





*If anyone caught the MTV VMA's last night (DVR is again my new best friend!), 'Lil Wayne has officially taken over James Brown spot as the hardest working man in showbiz. The Kid Rock set confirmed it. I think his pants are the same length as the sleeves of my coat, though - he's not even sagging, he actually has them cut to only come up to his hip. What next?

Running from for Office*

Late night at the office, so as much as I wanted to avoid it, sometimes you just can't help having to. . . run. It. Down. Here goes:

1) 31-year old Daunte Culpepper, once a celebrated QB, now says he can't get a callback (much less a quarter back - ba dum bum!). He claims it's because he stands up for what he believes in and represents himself, which the league and teams don't like. On PTI (can't stop gushing about my love for DVR these days!), they basically said his personality must suck, and I tend to agree. There are plenty of team with - excuse my language - piss-poor QB's that Culpepper could play ahead of or behind. My benchmark here is none other than Joey Harrington. Joey had a job until he got a cut a few days ago, and if he can get a job . . . I'll stop here, but suffice it to say that Harrington's record speaks for itself, and if he's getting looks ahead of Culpepper, Daunte must really be in the inferno. Here's hoping he lands something in this tough economy.

2) It turns out that Chad Ocho Psycho** Cinco is not alone in his interesting name change. SI.com did a flip through Vault piece on this, including 13 different athlete name changes. If I had to pick one to take the cake, I'd have to go with the athlete formerly known as J.R. Henderson. After a stint at UCLA, Henderson wasn't able to find basketball success here, so he went to Japan and became a star. But it seems that he was too black to be put on Japan's national team. Not to fear, Henderson had a plan. He would change his last name to Sakuragi, get a Japanese passport, and then all would be well. "Well" meaning he could earn double his salary because he wasn't a foreigner, but not "well" for the national team, which failed to make it to Beijing for the Olympics this summer (and hasn't done so since 1976). That's dedication.

3) LeBron James got his "highness" handed to him by a warehouse worker in a game of H-O-R-S-E. I can't say that I'm really that surprised, since special skills aren't really Bron Bron's forte. Had he lost in an ego-strength competition, then I might have worried. But seriously - and don't tell anyone I said this - kudos to King James for even agreeing to participate. He just made this guy's life, which means if you know him (and even worse, if you play pickup ball with him) you're probably in for a real treat from here on out. (". . . and I kicked LeBron's ***, what have you done?")

4) Redeeming himself after the slight at the Republican National Convention last night (see asterisk at bottom of that post), Eli Manning and (Plaxi) Co. opened up the year like they ended it - with a win, this time over the Washington Redskins. I was at work and didn't watch the game, so that's all I've got for you, except that, as noted during the RNC, the Giants still don't get any respect. And they probably won't unless they win another one. One day, Eli. One day.

5) Another event I couldn't watch today but would have liked to: the U.S. Open. Someday, when I get to that U.S. Open round-up, perhaps I'll talk about the #3 male player in the world, Novak Djokovic, and his struggle to win over the fans. He got some positive attention when he did impressions of Raphael Nadal and Maria Sharapova, but since then, the crowd just hasn't been on his side. When I was in attendance for one of his matches the other night, I did notice that a lot of people were cheering for his opponent but I thought it was because they wanted to see more tennis (even though it was 1 a.m. and I was quite ready to go home). Maybe they just really don't like him. He can certainly make the occasional incendiary remark, as he did tonight following his win over "America's son," Andy Roddick.

Literally, I think sometimes his delivery just doesn't translate into English very well. Although he has a tendency to get "over-amped" and have a short temper, I really don't think he's a bad guy. It takes a big man to apologize for his remarks this evening - which he did - and he has seemed in the past to be truly hurt by the lack of support he receives from the American crowd. Maybe he just needs an advisor on American culture. The women do it (what, you thought Sharapova was a natural?), and if he wants to get anywhere near the endorsement money that the two men ranked above him get (assuming he continues to perform well), he really ought to look into that. I should add that I'm available, Novak, if you can see this.

Have a great weekend!


* This refers me to me running from my office, and Senator Obama running for his. And, yes, it should belong to him.

** Thanks, Tiger!

Running On the Other Side*

Greetings from the other side of the world!

I am going to make this REALLY quick because I'm paying by the half hour but I had a few thoughts to drop:

1. Is the Miami Heat trying to get kicked down to the D-League? 54 points in a whole game? You're not even trying. Shame on you, Pat Riley. No excuse.

2. Today, the NCAA tournament kicks off. I'm not making any predictions, but I am making a request, and that is that I don't have to see Psycho T tearing down any nets. Please.

3. Right before I left, I heard Bob Knight complain about how some good teams don't make it into the tournament in favor of lesser teams that prevail in their confrence tournaments and how much of a travesty this is. I disagree. That's the beauty of the tournament. Smaller programs would never see the light of day much less get the opportunity to take down the nation's best teams if they did it any other way. We loved the New York Giants, we love Cinderellas. That's why people watch. But while an upset or two is nice, we don't want to see the Cinderella necessarily win the whole thing . . . at least I don't. It's fun for a little while but let's not get too carried away.

4. Andrew Bynum might return to the L.A. Lakers lineup just in time for the Lakers run through the playoffs. Man, this is going to be an interesting Western Conference finals. Over on the East, snooze city. I read an article in Time magazine in which readers got to ask questions of NBA Commissioner David Stern. One reader asked about the sorry state of the NY Knicks and whether he was concerned at all. Stern replied with the usual party line about this being a time to build and they'll be back. Ok, well when he gets over the shock of the poor ratings between East and West, I think he just might change his tune.

5. So top-ranked high school QB recruit Terrelle Pryor went with Ohio State as his college of choice. Michigan must be quite upset, but Pryor went with the possibility of sitting a year over coming in and starting in a program that I must admit is pretty darn good. And yes, it's no Michigan in terms of academics (although not shabby as one of the smartest lawyers - not an oxymoron - I know went there) but somehow I don't think that figured into the equation . . . All the best for a great career there, though, kid. Believe the hype, but not too much of it.

*Ode to an all-time fave by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. The song is much darker than I meant the title here to be, but it fit.

Running with Scissors

1. Greg Oden is practicing for the first time since the Portland Trailblazers lost their money on him. I, for one, am looking forward to seeing him return . . . and to him getting rid of this look. Anytime you can say "Damon Jones had that [haircut, outfit, etc.]," it's not usually a good sign.

2. Some "good" news for Michael Vick. His Virginia trial has been postponed indefinitely. Only a little more than a year and a half to go, Vick. Hang in there.

3. Apparently, I missed this story about Gisele Bundchen and LeBron James being on the cover of Vogue. LeBron joins the ranks of George Clooney and Richard Gere as the only men to make the cover. If I had to pick any three guys, that's definitely who I would have gone with . . .

4. Andy Roddick has decided to forego the Olympics in China to play the Legg Mason tournament in preparation for the U.S. Open. Is Roger Federer skipping the Open this year? Otherwise, go represent your country, Andy.

5. So it looks like I will miss the meat of March Madness but will be back in time for the Final Four. I am definitely trying to watch the games from my overseas location, and if it turns out to be interesting, I may just post something while I'm there. I know I said I would last week but I really mean it this time . . . really.

Free Running*

1. We can finally put a fork in Dwyane Wade because this time he's really done. The Miami Heat have been done for much longer. They're actually tough to chew.

2. I knew I was forgetting something from last week. Harvard University, that esteemed Ivy League institution, is being accused of engaging in some NCAA recruiting violations. We knew Tommy Amaker was a winner, and we knew he had one heck of a recruiting class (one that beat Michigan, no less) but now we know why. Nothing like paying the players or any of that stuff, but setting up practices for recruits with guys, and that guy ends up being an assistant coach on your team. And that kid ends up at your program. Come on, Harvard, if you're going to break an NCAA rule, then you gotta come better than this.

3. And now Harvard is giving special gym time to the ladies because of six Muslim women so they don't have to cover up at the gym. The hours are two hour blocks three days a week but they are at peak times (8 to 10 a.m. and 3 to 5 p.m.). If I were the guys, I would probably be a tad pissed by this, which they are. Even the Crimson gave them the biz, saying this shows "a readiness to put minority interests ahead of the entire community." I'm not sure that I like or agree with the implications of that statement (made by a female reporter), but it seems that they could have certainly made a more reasonable accommodation for such a small minority of the school.

4. The New Jersey Nets broke the Houston Rockets winning streak. HA. No, not really. But what did happen that was of interest was pointed out by my friend. Apparently Richard Jefferson took it upon himself to dunk on 52 year old Dikembe Mutumbo and then do Mutumbo's signature finger wag, which merited Jefferson a technical foul from the officials. They say it was for taunting, I say he gets one for just being really, really whack.

5. 74 points in the first half in an Eastern Conference game? That's what the Orlando Magic put on the Atlanta Hawks. And this team, the Hawks, is still going to make the playoffs? Quote of the day, maybe the week: "If you can't stop anybody at any point in the game, you're not going to win," courtesy of Hawks head coach Mike Woodson. Truer words have never been spoken.

* This sport I keep seeing the commercial for but was not familiar . . . until now.

5, 4, 3, 2 . . .

The deal:

1. ESPN.com did a great piece on a fallen firefighter/assistant coach who died in a fire but whose lasting effect on his team propelled them to the state finals. Great job, ESPN. And good luck, Summerville!

2. If you hear some old guy cursing during the NCAA telecasts, it might just be Bob Knight. Yes, that Bob Knight of chair-throwing fame. Said Knight, "I think ESPN has been real good for college basketball and I look forward to working with some of their people who I have known a long time." Real good, Bobby, real good. I hope they're still using that five second delay.

3. Congress wants to talk about passing federal legislation banning the use of performance-enhancing drugs in all professional sports leagues. Naturally, the commissioners of the various leagues do not want the practices of their league members being legislated by the feds. I can't imagine why adding one more way for their players get arrested would not be appealing.

4. Title this under "Riiiight." Earlier, the Green Bay Packers official website ran an article stating that Brett Favre had indeed decided to retire. The Packers party line:

"There's nothing to it," Packers spokesman Jeff Blumb told The Associated Press.
"People who handle our Web site had set up a dummy page in the event he was to
retire. They were asked to take down that page."

Yeah, ok. Favre's decision is expected to come soon. Let's see if it differs at all from what was posted. You know where my money is.

5. This article is upsetting, if for no other reason than it contains information about 2 players that I find it tough to root for (see, I'm getting nicer ). According to Mary Sims, the MVP comes down to, among others, Kobe, LeBron, or . . . Kevin Garnett? Sims had him as leading the race back in December, and now still has him on the list at #3. I guess he felt like he could drop him down a notch but removing him from the top five would hurt his credibility. Too late. I'm not sure KG's the MVP of his own team much less of the entire league. Sims must have gotten dunked on by him in high school and he's just trying to make himself feel better.

Run . . . Down

Let's jump right in:

1. Ow, Yao. Just when the Houston Rockets and the Western Conference were heating up comes the news that Yao Ming is done (I decided against a bad joke here) for the season with a stress fracture in his foot. Tough spot to keep playing on it. This is a bad blow to the Rockets but the league will also be smarting because Yao in the playoffs was going to mean billions of fans. Easy come, easy go. These guys are dropping like NFL players. What's going on?

2. LeBron scored his 10,000th point - youngest in history to get there - but couldn't help the Cavs get past the Boston Celtics. Sorry, Bronie. You can break a whole bunch of records when you are the only guy scoring points on the team. Before you ask, yes, I'm hating.

3. Rutgers University women's basketball coach C. Vivian Stringer won her 800th game, joining an elite party of three (including her) with Rutgers' win over DePaul. And effectively putting more distance between her squad and an unnamed radio talk show host. Bravo.

4. Congress has requested an inquiry into whether Roger Clemens should be brought up on perjury charges related to his statements about his steroid use, or rather the lack thereof. I don't know about you, but while this could be important to someone somewhere, I think there may be other issues they could be addressing. Like, hunger or crime. But that's just me.

5. The Seattle Supersonics apparently forgot that defense is a necessary part of basketball, falling to the Denver Nuggets by 42 points. I am thinking that the Sonics could have just not suited a team at all, let the Nuggets just shoot the entire game, and they still probably wouldn't have won by less points. The Nuggets had to travel to Seattle for that? I know A.I. and the boys had to be a little annoyed. I know Starbucks is downsizing these days but they may need to get their team a percolator or something because they are seriously flatlining.