From Crappy to Happy . . . and Other NFL Fables

What a difference a game makes. It's funny how one big win on Monday Night Football can take a team from sucking underachiever to "contender in a matter of, oh, 60 playing minutes to be exact.

Before an hour ago, the Cleveland Browns were mush and their current starting QB, Derek Anderson, was looking at the door. Eager (and popular) beaver Brady Quinn has been breathing down his neck for about a year now, and he keeps looking cute and smiley (in a kid brother kind of way) on the sidelines, all the while knowing he's more popular than the guy who starts over him. As the MNF gang pointed out, Quinn is the only back up QB to have his own commercial . . . making Derek Anderson the only starting QB whose backup has one when he doesn't.

Now, Anderson looks like Tom Brady with his "precision" and "accurate" throws, and the Browns, who could have been 1-4 after tonight, now have to be taken seriously.

No, the Browns didn't win the Super Bowl, but they did beat the Super Bowl champs, who have been looking pretty good in their champions tour. I should say looked good because they looked pretty awful Monday night. Eli Manning throwing three times as many interceptions as he has had in four previous games? That'll do it. And that tackle . . . come on Eli, that was pitiful, at least make it look like you care. (I couldn't find a picture of it, but I'm still looking!) I guess that's better than that jump away from the pile that Tony Romo did.

Speaking of Romo, his little pinkie's crying wee wee wee all the way home. (Sidenote: Romo really is an unfortunate last name for a really good high school QB) He will be out for at least a month with a broken pinkie on his throwing hand sustained in the Dallas Cowboys' loss to the Arizona Cardinals. I guess this is the one position in the one sport where such an injury would really cause the player to take time off. Broken fingers, especially pinkies, look really gross if they aren't set properly. So for the sake of all of us who will be forced to watch that reality show he and Jessica Simpson will have, I hope it sets properly so we don't have to hear her calling it "yucky." We'll see if any similar Brady-type effects are felt with this loss. The Cowboys have looked shaky (and always manage to get shaken and stirred in the post-season) so I wouldn't call them anywhere near a lock for a Super Bowl, but this certainly changes things. Once again, I'm ecstatic that I was too late for fantasy football this year.

Richard Collier is reportedly out of the hospital. That's good news.

Adam Jones may have cost himself a whole lot more than pissed off hired help. Bad news. Very bad.

One last thing: Braylon Edwards is definitely a star, but why is he the only one they let speak? He's certainly nice to look at and "articulate," so I'm not complaining but I find it interesting they never really talk to anyone else on the team, not even the QB. And the media loves QBs. Does Derek Anderson have a bad stutter?

Running from for Office*

Late night at the office, so as much as I wanted to avoid it, sometimes you just can't help having to. . . run. It. Down. Here goes:

1) 31-year old Daunte Culpepper, once a celebrated QB, now says he can't get a callback (much less a quarter back - ba dum bum!). He claims it's because he stands up for what he believes in and represents himself, which the league and teams don't like. On PTI (can't stop gushing about my love for DVR these days!), they basically said his personality must suck, and I tend to agree. There are plenty of team with - excuse my language - piss-poor QB's that Culpepper could play ahead of or behind. My benchmark here is none other than Joey Harrington. Joey had a job until he got a cut a few days ago, and if he can get a job . . . I'll stop here, but suffice it to say that Harrington's record speaks for itself, and if he's getting looks ahead of Culpepper, Daunte must really be in the inferno. Here's hoping he lands something in this tough economy.

2) It turns out that Chad Ocho Psycho** Cinco is not alone in his interesting name change. SI.com did a flip through Vault piece on this, including 13 different athlete name changes. If I had to pick one to take the cake, I'd have to go with the athlete formerly known as J.R. Henderson. After a stint at UCLA, Henderson wasn't able to find basketball success here, so he went to Japan and became a star. But it seems that he was too black to be put on Japan's national team. Not to fear, Henderson had a plan. He would change his last name to Sakuragi, get a Japanese passport, and then all would be well. "Well" meaning he could earn double his salary because he wasn't a foreigner, but not "well" for the national team, which failed to make it to Beijing for the Olympics this summer (and hasn't done so since 1976). That's dedication.

3) LeBron James got his "highness" handed to him by a warehouse worker in a game of H-O-R-S-E. I can't say that I'm really that surprised, since special skills aren't really Bron Bron's forte. Had he lost in an ego-strength competition, then I might have worried. But seriously - and don't tell anyone I said this - kudos to King James for even agreeing to participate. He just made this guy's life, which means if you know him (and even worse, if you play pickup ball with him) you're probably in for a real treat from here on out. (". . . and I kicked LeBron's ***, what have you done?")

4) Redeeming himself after the slight at the Republican National Convention last night (see asterisk at bottom of that post), Eli Manning and (Plaxi) Co. opened up the year like they ended it - with a win, this time over the Washington Redskins. I was at work and didn't watch the game, so that's all I've got for you, except that, as noted during the RNC, the Giants still don't get any respect. And they probably won't unless they win another one. One day, Eli. One day.

5) Another event I couldn't watch today but would have liked to: the U.S. Open. Someday, when I get to that U.S. Open round-up, perhaps I'll talk about the #3 male player in the world, Novak Djokovic, and his struggle to win over the fans. He got some positive attention when he did impressions of Raphael Nadal and Maria Sharapova, but since then, the crowd just hasn't been on his side. When I was in attendance for one of his matches the other night, I did notice that a lot of people were cheering for his opponent but I thought it was because they wanted to see more tennis (even though it was 1 a.m. and I was quite ready to go home). Maybe they just really don't like him. He can certainly make the occasional incendiary remark, as he did tonight following his win over "America's son," Andy Roddick.

Literally, I think sometimes his delivery just doesn't translate into English very well. Although he has a tendency to get "over-amped" and have a short temper, I really don't think he's a bad guy. It takes a big man to apologize for his remarks this evening - which he did - and he has seemed in the past to be truly hurt by the lack of support he receives from the American crowd. Maybe he just needs an advisor on American culture. The women do it (what, you thought Sharapova was a natural?), and if he wants to get anywhere near the endorsement money that the two men ranked above him get (assuming he continues to perform well), he really ought to look into that. I should add that I'm available, Novak, if you can see this.

Have a great weekend!


* This refers me to me running from my office, and Senator Obama running for his. And, yes, it should belong to him.

** Thanks, Tiger!

David v. Goliath: David Wins Again

Wow. That's all I can really say. No one believed it. You didn't believe it was possible. They looked fallible but it wasn't possible . . .

Indeed, it is. In dramatic fashion, the odds-on favorite New England Patriots were stunned by the New York Giants in the final seconds of the 42nd playing of the Super Bowl. The Giants came to play, but I wonder if they even believed they could win.

And I wonder this to myself, not to the Giants' coach or any of its players, as Terry Bradshaw did after the game. Someone please tell me what the point is of the question, "Did you think you were going to win tonight?" "Hell, no, Terry, I knew we were a goner but I told the guys put on some pads, get on that field, and maybe the Pats will like let us score or something." Yeah.

Not exactly. I wanted the Pats to go undefeated in the regular season, but I was pulling for Eli and the Giants. Eli has that whole "always a bridesmaid never a bride" (or groomsmen/groom, you get the picture) thing going for him. He's an everyman that you want to root for because not one sports pundit would even utter the idea of a Pats upset. But on this night, the groom watched his best man finally take the leap, as big brother Peyton cheered from his luxury box. Eli deserved every bit of that MVP, too, with that tackle he avoided. Exciting finish. And he overcame every odd - and I'm sure made some people very, very rich - and rose to the occasion when it counted. Nice touch by Fox showing the route that Plaxico Burress ran in practice compared to his winning touchdown catch. I was also touched by Burress' display of emotion during his post-game interview. We all get caught up in the hype of the game, the commercials, whose party we're going to attend (where we do not have a seat, miss all of the commercials), but to these guys, it is the culmination of a lifetime of hard work. A lifetime of people who said you would never amount to anything or didn't believe in you, and proving them all wrong in an instant, and forever. This is why sports connects with the people.

You can admit that you thought Tom Brady would launch one to Randy Moss and win the whole game. Even with 10 seconds left. It was simply too unbelievable to think that the Giants might actually win.

Perhaps Bill "I Spy" Belichick is to blame for the Pats loss, because in the end, cheaters just don't prosper. And good guys - like Eli - do finish first.

Congrats, Giants!

Shake 'Em Up

This year is shaping up to be an interesting playoff series. Saturday's game featuring the Jacksonville Jaguars vs. the New Englad Patriots was predictable.

Sunday's games were anything but. This is why the NFL has an advantage in the excitement area over other sports, rivaling maybe the men's NCAA basketball tournament. No series, no second shots. One game.

Two teams who took full advantage and struck first were the San Diego Chargers (minus LT, and at the end of the game, their starting QB) and the New York Giants, who took down the Indianopolis Colts and the Dallas Cowboys, respectively. Also, the defending Super Bowl champs and America's team, respectively.

I won't give much ink to this because you can find everything you need to know about the games on your big sports sites. I will say that I heard a lot of talk recently about how the Colts weren't getting much press this season despite being last year's champs . . . well, now we see why. A few key injuries here and there, but I think they'll be back.

The Cowboys? They looked pretty invincible all year, but after playing the Giants twice during the regular season, eventually it had to be the Giants turn, right? This one was still a stunner to the Cowboys, who have now gone 11 years without a playoff win. They somehow managed to score two touchdowns in the second quarter, and none in the other 3. Yeah, that was not going to get them very far. I do like seeing the other Manning (Eli) getting his time to shine. This whole "Tony Romo can go back to sunning in May-hee-co with with Jessica Simpson" story is probably not Romo's first choice. Just a guess.

Sometimes, I like to see Cinderella teams make it, but only if they have the ability to go all the way. What I hate to see (and which happens much more often than not) is the team/individual has an emotional let down after a large win, and then get blown out by a team that is not as good as the one they just beat.

Here's to the Giants beating the Green Bay Packers, and the Chargers taking out . . . the Patriots. Hey, like Kobe Bryant says, impossible is nothing.

A Little Money, Some Giants, Some Dolphins, Little Football, Lot of Rain . . . And Bob's Your Uncle!*

So the NFL decided to take a regular season football game to London for the first time ever. The lucky guinea pigs were the New York Giants and the Miami Dolphins. As if the Dolphins season wasn't already going bad enough, they now have the distinction of losing every game in America and Europe, dropping to 0-8 after losing to the Giants, 13-10. I know the NFL wanted to take teams from two major cities - that not so coincidentally probably contain two of the highest numbers of people from other countries - and they likely had this scheduled prior to knowing how good either team would be, but this game was not the best that American football has to offer:

The teams combined for 492 yards, only 187 passing -- numbers teams often put up by themselves in a game. They combined for seven fumbles, two missed field goals and 14 penalties.

Tough. But kudos to both teams for playing a fairly decent game in the cold, rainy conditions of Wembley Stadium. I know the players only play once a week, but that still can't be enough time to get used to the time change (4 hours ahead of the east coast). And that certainly wasn't enough time to get used to the British food, which has not improved even after the 1,000,000th joke/comment about its distinct awfulness (confirmed by a friend who currently lives there). Their cars look nice on the outside, too, but they can't seem to get those totally right either. At least they're consistent.

Despite my glum commentary, the game was a positive for the NFL, as they sold out the 80,000+ stadium in two hours (with a request for half a million tickets made within the first 72 hours after the game was first announced), and from all reports the crowd was amped, as would be expected for their first NFL (not to be confused with NFL Europe) game ever. I found it amusing that the only time they booed was when the Giants kneeled on the ball three times to end the game, either not understanding (said the Giants' coach) or not caring (says I) that this is a common play when a team has the lead and possession of the ball at the end of the game. They wanted to see more football (not to be confused with futbol), and who can blame them. They waited a long time for this. They probably thought they were going to see Dan Marino.

Presumably, the NFL will take both teams' feedback and decide whether they want to field a team there at some point down the line. Thus, the decision will be based on whether the dollars make cents. I'd hazard a guess that jersey and other team apparel/accessories sales were huge, with the British fans snapping up anything they were offered, even for teams that weren't playing there. A European team would be right in line with the move to globalize that the major sports leagues (i.e., the NBA in China) have been tossing around as they consider adding teams outside of North America (What, nobody wants to play in Hawaii, Alaska - North Dakota?).

In that system, every week, one team would travel there or the European team would travel here. If any sport is more conducive to traveling long distances between games, football would be it. I'm sure the away team would not be looking forward to that trip, but with the right catering - these boys gotta eat! - perhaps something could be arranged. Not surprisingly, those in and around the game are not as enthusiastic about the prospect. Change is always a bit painful.

What do you think about fielding a team in London? I was skeptical at first, but now the idea doesn't seem so far-fetched. I just might travel there for a game.


* "Bob's your uncle" is a British expression something like "It's as simple as that!" as in, "Add a little of this, a little of that, and wala! Bob's your uncle!"

And lastly, this is exactly what Travis Johnson was so pissed about: