Eternal Rundown of the Youthful Mind(ed)

This is getting to be a pattern, but I'm running on fumes:

1. Why, Travis, why? Former Denver Broncos' running back Travis Henry was arrested yesterday for allegedly taking part in a cocaine deal. Henry was cut from the Broncos in June following a host of other problems. He was lucky he even got to play last season. The NFL had banned him for the season after failing a drug test, but he successfully had that decision overturned. Of course we don't have all of the facts yet, but it doesn't look like there will be any overcoming this. I hate to see this, but these are the consequences when you let talent cover up personality flaws. Hopefully, it's not too late for him to get his life together, because he has nine (confirmed) children who call him "father" and it's kind of hard to support them when you're unemployed, or in prison.

2. The WNBA Finals between the Detroit Shock and San Antonio Silver Stars started Wednesday night. I made it home in time to catch mention of it on Sports Center, where I was told that there were 6 seconds left in the game. In the 30 seconds it took me to try to figure out what channel ESPN2 is on my TV, the game ended. When I finally found it, I saw Shock coach Bill Laimbeer shaking hands with the Silver Stars. Great game! I tried to find a re-broadcast somewhere but no luck. The day this league gets publicity will be the day . . . the league gets publicity. Too bad. I actually got an e-mail about it earlier today, but that was the extent of it. I did DVR the rest of the games so I'll have more to say. Oh, and Game 1 went to the Shock.

3. Maybe Joey ("my benchmark") Harrington is a master baby bootie knitter. How else do you explain the fact that while Wall Street bankers and other NFL players (like Daunte Culpepper) can't find a job, Harrington has had several since the season started? The only plausible explanation is that he knits a mean bootie for his teammates' children. Just last week, Harrington got canned by the New Orleans Saints on the same day that Matt Millen lost his job. But Wednesday, the Saints picked him back up (Millen, as far as I know, is still out of work). Harrington was the third overall pick in the NFL draft (by the Detroit Lions, but still, third is third), but he's tops on my list of current QB's who are out of their league. I kind of feel bad for the guy because he takes a lot of flak for his poor play. Maybe it's the teams' fault for putting him in the position to be a bust. But either way, the fact that he continues to be gainfully employed is nothing short of amazing. Or crazy.

4. Terrell Owens seldom fails to cause chatter about himself. In defending his statements made the other day about not getting the ball, T.O. says he said it out of anger at the loss and not because of any particular problems with the Dallas Cowboys offense (or to be more specific, Tony Romo. He ended with a promise to us all that this will not be the last time he talks about wanting the ball. He also addressed his "haters" - without saying anything, during the entire interview, he continually refers to ESPN commentator and former NFL wide receiver Keyshawn Johnson as "Sheshawn." (The back drop is that the Cowboys signed T.O. when they dropped Johnson.) Following Owens' remarks, Johnson and others had said on-air that Owens needs a good talk to address his behavior. Owns shot back: "He is the ultimate underachiever on that panel," Owens said of Johnson. "I am the reason he is in the booth. Everybody is aware when I was brought to Dallas he was the one they let go to get me here." No one has ever denied that T.O. speaks the truth, but his delivery really leaves a lot to be desired . . . as an avid reader so aptly put it, "speaking something that may be true doesn't always mean you're right." I couldn't have said it better myself.

5. Normally, I do not write about myself on here, and probably never have in a run-down, but this was sports (if not news) worthy so it's rounding out my top five. I consider myself to be in pretty decent shape, and actually, have been working out a lot harder than I have in my post-college athlete days. Although I'm far removed from those days, I like to trick my body into believing that I'm not. Only my body is much smarter than I am, and it, like the house, always wins. I can't tell you how many of my friends who are former athletes have broken and torn things in the last year due to having a youthful mind but a body that hasn't quite adjusted. Wednesday, I came out of retirement for the first time in a very long time with my "youthful mind" in tow. I played fairly well, felt good. All was going well . . . until I lay (is that right, dad?) down on the couch. Just now, after getting through the first four stories, I tried to stand up. And it hurts, so I may not try that again until tomorrow . . .

UPDATE: PLEASE Let Henry Play!!

Late last night I was doing a little searching on Travis Henry. Turns out that the major news outlets are not talking about the subplot of his potential NFL suspension.

Ladies and gentlemen, 28-year old Travis Henry has not one, not eight, but nine children by nine different women in four different southern states, and at least one in Dekalb County, Georgia. Surprisingly, travishenry.com doesn't mention anything about this. I'm not one to pass judgment but somebody needs to show this man how to use a condom or keep his pants zipped. Lock it up or get a vasectomy.

But, wait, it gets better. So he's down to make 'em but not to curb his spending to take care of 'em. After hefty purchases in the way of a $100,000 car and $160,000 in jewelry, he was ordered by a judge to establish a $250,000 trust fund for his seed that must be fully funded by next spring since he can't seem to control his spending enough to pay child support.

Well, since Henry has enough kids to literally field a football team, hopefully he can get them together for a few practices during the year if he's suspended.

Groupies Ladies, football players are not good multiple dads. Their contracts aren't guaranteed and they don't last long in the league. AND Daddy Trav is in jeopardy of being suspended for the next year. I never thought I'd say this - ever - but I'd rather have Shawn Kemp as my dad.

Good grief. I really hope he doesn't get suspended, just for the kids sake.

Good Thing He's Not Bald . . .

I really hope that Travis Henry didn't smoke weed, because after all this, he and/or his lawyers are just making him look like a fool.

So instead of letting the NFL test the "B" sample of his urine, Henry and his team would rather let them give him a lie detector test and take a swatch of his hair. I discovered that if the testing subject has no hair on his or her head, body hair is an acceptable substitute.

Hmm. I'm sure he wants to delay this process as much as possible since he's probably getting paid per game in which he able to play. I won't say he thinks the B sample will come out "dirty," too, but they sure are going through a lot to prevent it from being tested. Thou doth protest too much, me thinks.

That "Just Say No" Campaign Isn't Working . . .

And not to be outdone by Marion, the Denver Broncos' Travis Henry has tested positive for a controlled substance. This guy is leading the league in rushing, even though he's injured at the moment. This is apparently his second such substance abuse violation.

Someone please get this man some help. If it's weed/pot/marijuana/mary jane/reefer, as they are rumoring, then somebody just shake sense into him. For four months out of the year they ask you to act right, which gives you another 8 to act up, so long as you don't get yourself suspended for the upcoming year during those 8 months (Pacman, Vick, and Chris Henry, I'm talking to you). I don't care if you're a lawyer, investment banker or a professional athlete - do no let weed take back your signing bonus!