I'm working on very little sleep but had a few things on my mind and needed to vent (I have the good fortune of needing to unwind and watch TV when I get home, no matter how late it is...), so here goes:
As we all suspected, the University of Memphis basketball player whom the NCAA is investigating about his involvement with some academic integrity issues (i.e., having someone else take the SAT in his stead and changing a high school grade from a D to a C) is none other than your now-NBA (Sprite? KIA? Quicken Loans? (not just yet)) Rookie of the Year, Derrick Rose. Of course they're interviewing everyone under the sun from the NCAA to students at Memphis to the NBA to discuss the potential impact of this. I just heard a lawyer explain why all of his endorsers are watching this closely and yada yada yada. I don't have the time to get into this like I'd like to so I may need to revisit, but needless to say if you've been here before, I find this all to be a bit ridiculous. Rose actually seems reasonably intelligent and learned, but even given that, let's be honest: did Memphis really recruit him for his academic prowess? Is he the only athlete who has ever had a grade changed? Sure, it's not a good thing to have someone take the SAT for you, and there should be punishment for that.
But that's not what this is about. I don't know if people truly understood the great lengths that the NCAA goes to pursue their goals of free labor and higher revenues. They have succeeded in convincing people that they have a genuine interest in the education of their athletes and that playing for nothing more than the "love of the game" (while the schools and the organization rake in millions of dollars every year) is sports at its most "pure." And, oh yeah, that "one and done" rule the NBA adopted? Well, one year of going to class and socialization is better than none, right? Two years would just be overkill.
When I was in law school, having played college sports myself, I considered filing a lawsuit on behalf of other NCAA student-athletes to get the organization to change its oppressive system but then I realized that I wasn't the first person who had tried nor would I be the last. Instead, I settled for writing a paper on the topic. And, thankfully for the NCAA, I'm not a big fan of litigation. Ha.
But the point remains the same: Everybody in and around basketball knows the deal. It's not that these kids are dumb, it's that people don't even want them to try for fear that they won't succeed and, therefore, won't be able to play. (Then we wonder why they have trouble trying to balance life as an adult...) How genuinely surprised would folks in the NCAA or NBA, or companies handing out these millions of endorsement dollars really be if it turned out that every single NBA star had received a grade they didn't deserve at some point in their scholastic careers? Considering that people representing each and every single one of these groups have been following these kids since they were in 7th and 8th grade, I'd have to say not many. No one can claim they were left in the dark, and in many cases, these same folks now crying foul (no pun intended) were the ones providing the "light." After all, the [insert name of basketball shoe/clothing company] guy who came to all of their high school games is the same guy who connects the kid with his college team, which team often leads him to his NBA agent, who leads the kid back to the shoe/clothing guy. Given all of this, I find it hard to believe that the NBA, NCAA and endorsers are banking on the fact that these kids are actually doing their own work; rather, I'd say they're banking on you and I not thinking about that.
Now, the NCAA wants to strip Memphis of the games they won (including their tournament run) if they find these allegations are true. But even if they take away the games from the "record books" (they must be kept in a library and not on the Internets), there will always be an asterisk there, not to mention that people have memories - they can't quite erase those.
So if the NCAA, the NBA (the "A" apparently used to stand for "academia"), and Rose's endorsers decide to distance themselves from him now that he (and more likely, if this is true, the others around him) allegedly had low academic integrity a few years ago (he is a pro now, last I checked), that's fine. As long as they don't mind being called on the hypocrisy.
I've got at least one more bone to pick this week. Stay tuned . . .
Friday, May 29, 2009
A (Derrick) Rose By Any Other Name *Is* Just As Sweet
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Running On the Other Side*
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Taxes = Run Down
Tax time. Let's face it. The only reason that I bother to file this early is because I expect to get a refund. I've let the government use my money tax-free long enough, so it's time for them to pay up. That means that I spent most of the evening sorting through documents, but for us, that means it's time to run it down:
1. Sad news today out of Minnesota where Vikings defensive end Kenechi Udeze has been diagnosed with leukemia. Life certainly has a way of interfering when you least expect it. Prayers for a speedy recovery to him and for his family during this difficult time.
2. Uno the beagle won Best in Show at the 132nd Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, the first time that a beagle has ever won the honor. I would put excerpts of the AP article here but you really need to read the whole thing to get the proper effect. Trust me. Apparently Uno has the making to be (I'm sorry) top dog being billed as the All-American dog because of his popular breed. Not only does Uno get to eat steak (more like swallow if you've seen a dog eat) on a silver platter at a swanky New York restaurant but he also gets to ring the opening bell on Wall Street and make the TV rounds. Yet he can still eat his own crap and sniff other dogs' nether regions and no one bats an eye. Life is not fair.
3. The Detroit Pistons have quietly racked up nine wins in a row. If it's not the Boston Celtics, it's just not news. Well, when they lose prior to the NBA Finals, perhaps someone will find it interesting then.
4. Indiana University basketball program looks to be in some trouble over allegations of improper calls to recruits in violation of the NCAA rules. Not just a few, a whole lot. So is that how they got Eric Gordon? By calling him a lot? I'm going to go on record as saying that that only works in some instances and not others. No further comment.
5. This dispute over the shot clock pausing for 1.3 seconds in a heavily-contested rematch of the women's NCAA final featuring Rutgers vs. Tennessee has turned serious. Ordinarily, people wouldn't notice the pause, but in this case, a foul is alleged to have occurred during the pause, which, if the clock had been performing normally, would have come after the game was over. As it was, the foul was ruled to have occurred prior to the buzzer, and Tennessee ended up winning the game by one point on the made free throws. Now the inventor is speaking out and saying that the clock is fine and human error could have caused the problem. Really, the inventor? Is the shot clock business so competitive that the inventor of the NCAA's choice du jour feels the need to publicly defend his product? Perhaps his competitors are jumping in trying to push their shot clocks upon the slightest sign of a malfunction. That's a tough business. Those of you who were thinking of getting into it may want to reconsider.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
My Two on The Five
1. Congrats to LSU football for capturing the BCS title. It wasn't much of a title game, in that it didn't look like Ohio State was really the #2 team in the nation. Now they are finally getting serious about a playoff format for college football. I have no idea how they made it this long with the current system. I guess tradition really counts for a lot.
2. Dwyane Wade may be permanently injured for the rest of his playing career. I would say I hope he doesn't end up like Grant Hill, but Grant's actually not playing too badly these days, and at least Wade has one ring under his belt. He's so young, though. If I were him, I'd secretly hope that Miami doesn't make the playoffs so that he has more time to heal. At this rate, he will be able to get plenty of rest.
3. Interesting lawsuit involving the NCAA that looks to be near settlement. Basically, the plaintiffs want the NCAA to relax restrictions on what scholarship money can pay for - including travel, health insurance, and laundry. BRAVO! I have A LOT more to say about this and will devote a post to this topic in the very near future. Funny how most of the major sporting news outlets haven't run this story . . .
4. And speaking of lawsuits, Roger Clemens is trying to show that he means business by filing a defamation case against his former strength coach, Brian McNamee, because of what he claims are false allegations that he used steroids and other performance enhancing medicament (great word), as noted in the infamous Mitchell report. Well, everyone knows that if you are really serious about denying bad rumors, then a defamation suit is one of the first courses of action taken. Here, he has an even greater interest because of all of the awards he has won and the fact that he just might want to be a Hall of Famer one day, so the suit seems almost obligatory regardless of the actual truth. Good luck to you, Roger. Good luck to us all.
5. Finally, in part because I didn't want to end with #4 (groupings of odd numbers just look better), Tom Brady took AP honors for Offensive Player of the Year, with his wide receiver Randy Moss coming in second. I, for one, was surprised. I thought for sure T.O would take the award for his Keyshawn Johnson rant, but I guess they meant on the field.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
The Real 'Criminoles' Are Actually Paid To Be There
Somebody thought it was a good idea to have the Florida State University football team take internet classes, even though they attend a perfectly good university where they can attend classes in person. It was interesting when Boston College started having its football team take night classes, but on-line class? That sounds fishy already. You've heard me wax philosophic on the farce that is NCAA's alleged emphasis on student-athletes, but this fiasco is near the top of the list of reasons why I don't buy what they're selling.
Instead of actually taking the exam themselves, some bright teacher's assistants and tutors decided that it would be a good idea to give multiple football players (as many as 25) and other student-athletes the answers to the internet exam. In addition:
The school's investigation found that a tutor gave students answers while
they were taking tests and filled in answers on quizzes and typed papers for
students.
Now these up to 25 football players may be suspended from playing in the upcoming bowl game - the upcoming terribly monikered bowl game, the Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl, and from playing in the first three games of the 2008 season. On another note, I really believe that they ought to re-think this whole name the bowl after the company sponsoring it idea.
Friday, October 26, 2007
In The Wrong Hands, They're Like Drugs
(Note: I published that one below a day or two ago on ArmchairGM.com and forgot to put it on here. I decided to post it today so we'd have a frame of reference for this next story.)
In a sure sign that the NCAA might want to take a page from the David Stern School of Rulemaking, the N-(was blind but now I) C-A-A is investigating the University of Alabama's football team after the startling revelation that several members of the football team have been taking . . . wait for it . . . extra textbooks.
Who lets these criminals on campus? We are not safe. Now, none of the articles I found went further than to say that, but the logical conclusion as to why the NCAA cares is that they are allegedly selling the textbooks to students. Yes, if a player is somehow benefiting from his or her athletic prowess in any way other than what NCAA says, then no sport for you! Coach Nick Saban says we'll find out the results of the investigation when he does, which means the NCAA is doing all the legwork on this one.
Seriously, come on. The program at Alabama has been struggling to get clean from past "indiscretions" - ones that there is no doubt in my mind the NCAA is ignoring right this minute. And here they come like Debbie Downer to "save" the day. Has anyone seen the price of textbooks lately? Apparently this came just a day after a similar issue at Ball State University, and while the NCAA just so happened to be on Alabama's campus. Apparently the players didn't have enough time to flush the textbooks down the toilet before their arrival.
Of course, whoever gave them multiple textbooks has likely been fired, but you won't hear much else about those people because it's the players who are doing wrong, right?
So they're using their textbooks as currency to get some money since they can't have jobs during the season, and the NCAA won't give the players a dime of all the money they make off of them, even though sports (including moneys for bowl games, post-season wins, etc.) generate a lot of the revenues for big sports schools. Nothing beats free labor!
BC Football Full of . . . Evening Students?
Some folks came down on me on ArmchairGM.com when I said that there is really no "student" in student-athlete (at least with respect to the "prime time" sports).
And now this article :
Touch of class goes a long way for Boston College
By Ivan Maisel ESPN.com
=== Night School Dividends ===
Once you get past the obvious difference in talent, one of the biggest ways in which NFL football is more advanced than college is the amount of time that the players devote to the game. In college, coaches are limited to 20 hours of practice and meeting time per week. In the NFL, 20 hours barely gets a team into Day 3.
Matt Ryan has been able to devote more time to football this season.
The pros have all day. There are no classes, no study hall, no tests, no finals. It's a job.
If there is a hybrid form of football somewhere between the NFL and college football, it is being practiced at No. 2 Boston College. That's not because of the Eagles' talent, although several players will be drafted in April.
"I don't have any classes during the day," quarterback Matt Ryan said with a straight face. He tried, anyway. Then he started laughing. College without classes is pretty much the ideal way to live.
Ryan and 16 teammates, 12 among them starters, already have graduated. NCAA rules dictate that players must be enrolled in a minimum number of hours. Ryan and most of his graduate teammates take a class three nights a week.
Their days are wide open. Though the NCAA imposes the 20-hour limit, there is no limit on voluntary work.
This is a loophole that the NCAA wishes every school exploited. Few universities have the graduation rate that Boston College does. This season, it's paying off on the field.
"To really be able to concentrate on football and not have the distractions that school brings -- as it should; that's the point of being a student-athlete, but it does take time away -- I've been able to prepare a little more," Ryan said. "I can enjoy it … I always prepared the best I could. I feel like I'm prepared better."
Ryan spends his days hanging out with his co-captain, fellow fifth-year senior and postgraduate student Jolonn Dunbar.
"We're the type of guys that are going to go in there and watch and try to put the team in the best situation we can," Dunbar said. "It has nothing but an upside to have guys like that. The whole day, we're hanging out, watching film, working out. I think that helps tremendously. I'm sure that's part of the reason we're in the position we're in."
I know they said this means higher graduation rates . . . but did you catch that quote:
To really be able to concentrate on football and not have the distractions that school brings -- as it should; that's the point of being a student-athlete, but it does take time away -- I've been able to prepare a little more," Ryan said.
Distracted from football by school? Now you tell me where the priority is . . .
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Still Fab, Fifteen Years Later
I saw this billboard when I was scouring the Internet a few weeks ago but I didn't have a reason to post until one intrepid (like a Dodge) reader sent me a link to Jemele Hill's latest offering on Page 2. As a way of background, Jalen Rose paid for this billboard to be posted along a freeway in Detroit last December, and it has stirred a little controversy as of late, apparently because no one saw it until the freeway opened back up again. (Note to those who advertise on closed roads/freeways).
Jemele is from "the D" and from her article, appears to have love for Jalen. But I disagree with a few things she said.
First, she poses the question:
What was Rose thinking with the billboard, which has the five players' jerseys and the word "Timeless" underneath? Did he not get that, while the Fab Five gave college basketball a flair and style that has yet to be duplicated, the colossal damage inflicted by scandal-stained reputations indirectly contributed to Michigan basketball's being irrelevant for nearly a decade?
She is referring to all the hubbub that occurred following an investigation into the alleged money laundering and other illegal activities of one Ed Martin, who was what one calls a "booster" - literally, one who helps boost the team by giving it (and sometimes the players, as it seems) money. The investigation led to the revelation that Martin loaned (to be repaid upon turning pro) over $600,000 to several Michigan basketball players over the course of nearly 10 years, including approximately $280,000 to Chris Webber, who eventually pled guilty to obstruction of justice for lying to the grand jury about his involvement with Martin. The three other players to whom it was shown Martin gave money were Maurice Taylor, Robert Traylor, and Louis Bullock. Michigan's Coach Steve Fisher was fired after it was shown that he gave Martin free tickets. Rather than face punishment from the NCAA, Michigan sanctioned itself, including (courtesy of Wikipedia):
- No postseason play in 2002-03, even though the players who took Martin's money were no longer at the school.
- The school forfeited the entire 1992-93 season and every game it played from the 1995-96 season through the 1998-99 season. This included the 1997 National Invitation Tournament title and the 1998 Big Ten Tournament title. It also vacated its two Final Four games in 1992 and its entire NCAA tournament record in 1993, 1996, 1998 and 1999. All told, Michigan forfeited 112 wins.
- Returning $450,000 received from the NCAA for postseason play in 1992, 1993, 1996, 1997, 1998 and 1999.
- Banners commemorating the 1992 and 1993 Final Four runs, the 1997 NIT title and 1998 Big Ten Tournament title would be removed from the rafters at Crisler Arena.
- Two years' probation.
Shortly thereafter, the school deleted all reference to Webber, Taylor, Traylor, and Bullock from Michigan's records.
The NCAA apparently felt that they didn't go far enough, and sanctioned the team for an additional two years, docked it a scholarship from 2004 to 2008, ordered Michigan to keep away from Webber, Traylor, Taylor and Bullock until 2012.
Yep. Long sordid story. Back to Jemele's article.
So given all of this history behind the billboard, Jemele talks to Jalen himself about it. He tells her that he felt that they deserved to be honored and not discarded as if they didn't exist, and that he probably wouldn't have been able to post this billboard in Ann Arbor. They weren't angels, he says, but on the other hand:
What bothers me is that, at the end of the day, the checks that changed hands, from sponsors to everyone else, those were cashed," Rose said. "No checks were returned."
Jemele responds that they were ordered to give back $450,000, but says she understands his point, and that the longer she listens to Jalen explain the hypocrisy of what happened in the Michigan scandal, the more it starts (to her dismay) to make sense.
But does she really understand? She ends the article with the following:
Maybe this billboard isn't the end of the world, as Manny Ramirez would say. I know. I waffled. Don't worry, Rose and I will always disagree on a few things. College athletes do operate in an unfair system that allows them to be exploited, but it's the fairest system we have. It's still not an excuse for players to not follow the rules.
But preserving a memory? I've got no problem with that.
Actually, I think you do have a problem with preserving a memory, Jemele. Your first question and the above statement leads me to believe that you think there is something wrong with Jalen putting up the billboard because the Fab Five (including Jalen, who admitted to taking "pocket money" from Martin) "tarnished" the Michigan name and tainted the hallowed halls of college basketball with their conduct.
First off, Jemele went to Michigan State, so as much as she tried to hide it, I'm sure she never felt much sympathy for the Wolverines.
But the real issue is with the implication that these young college-aged kids are to blame for what happened to them. You take kids, often with little or no money, put them around millionaires (including sponsors, boosters, sports TV execs, other students, etc.) who can't wait to make a buck or a million more off of them, who are willing to give them a taste of the good life in order to make themselves richer in the long run, and then expect them to act like they don't see it. As much as I think I have a lot of integrity, I don't know what I would have done in a similar situation.
And so the University of Michigan and the NCAA would rather sell out its players and act like this is the first time this has ever happened, like this is the worst case of this ever happening, like they really didn't know it was happening, and Michigan happily cuts all ties with those "money-grubbing players"? Give me a break.
Who should be held more responsible: 50 year old men with the money, or 18-year olds with no money?
You all know my feelings on how the NCAA treats its "student athletes." It's all a sham. Whether people want to admit it or not, this exact same Michigan situation is happening all over the country as I type this. The NCAA can try to turn a blind eye to it, but I firmly believe they know what's going on.
Perhaps the Michigan situation is worse only because it actually came to light, which was only because the guy who had the money (Martin) made it illegally. Had he made his money on top of the table, Rose, Webber, Juwan Howard, Jimmy King, and Ray Jackson would likely still have their banners, still have their records, and still have their respect for being arguably the most talented (talent doesn't always win championships), and indisputably the most influential college basketball team in the history of the game.
But instead, Ed Martin was caught, and the Fab Five got caught up with him . . . erased from the history books as if we never saw them play.
Unfortunately for the NCAA, they can never be erased from our memories (or the Internet). And thankfully, 15 years after they first stepped on the scene (man, I am getting old!), Jalen Rose had the awesome audacity to make sure that that memory stays alive in the place where people admired them the most: home.
Because home understands. Home understands where these kids came from. Home understands what they went through when they were thrown in an environment with kids who were driving nice cars and wearing designer clothes. Home understands that, whether you're rich or whether you're poor, money is hard to ignore when it's thrown in your face. Home understands that the people who made the most money off of these kids never shoulder any responsibility whatsoever for any NCAA violations, and, as Jalen pointed out, never gave a dime of it back. Home understands that the people who end up taking the blame are not always the ones to blame.
Jemele may be from the same neighborhood as Jalen, may even return to Michigan to live when she retires, but until she fully acknowledges the utter hypocrisy and intense pressure faced by many of the top-recruited college athletes to bend the rules, she'll always be far away from home.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
How Come You Don't Call Me
The Indiana Hoosiers and their coaching staff have violated the NCAA rules for making excessive calls to basketball recruits this past year.
This all happened while the head coach, Kelvin Sampson, was on probation for excessive calls while a coach at Oklahoma.
Indiana has decided to voluntarily sanction itself by foregoing one scholarship and by not giving the coach a scheduled $500,000 raise. The coach threw the assistant coach, Rob Senderoff, under the bus, saying that he made the calls (three-way calls ot the recruits' home), but neither assistant nor coach will be fired, and the NCAA says that they are OK with the sanctions given to coach and team.
Nothing new here. I'm sure some coach is violating the NCAA rules as I type this. It's virtually impossible not to given the all-encompassing nature of their rules. (Witness the NCAA's latest rule adjustment on bench decorum). I just wonder how he got caught.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
B.S. in Basketweaving
So the NCAA has released figures indicating that graduation rates are rising among student athletes at Division I colleges and universities. Of course, the story begins with statistics on the "high-profile" sports like men's basketball, football, and baseball, and women's soccer, basketball, volleyball, and softball. They say that men's basketball graduation rates jumped 8 percent.
Then, in the press release, NCAA President Myles Brand tells a bold-faced lie:
“NCAA student-athletes are students first, and by and large they are good students,” he said. “They have been afforded the privilege of competing in their chosen sport while pursuing their studies as full-time students, and most of them are handling those twin responsibilities quite well.”
Perhaps he's referring to the National Civil Aviation Authority, and not the NCAA that employs him. Because that's the biggest load of crap I have heard since . . . I'll stop picking on him, so never mind. It's B.S., and I don't mean a bachelor of science.
In whose universe are student-athletes "students" first? Only in the name you call them. Half of these so-called student-athletes aren't going to class (I said HALF, so every school does not fit in this category), and if they do, they are likely not doing the work . . . NOT because they don't want to (ok, not always) but because the coach and the team's boosters, who did graduate from that school, don't want classes to interfere with their playing. And heck, playing some sports is a full time job. Who wants to do extra work after that? And if studies did take precedence, then how come they don't take you to meet the professors on recruiting trips? Please. Don't let school interfere with their ability to play their sport. Because if they do, they are going to get lambasted by the press and their classmates for under-performing.
I wanted to save my NCAA rant for the Reggie Bush post, but I think I'll just jump right into it here.
College sports are only amateur because the NCAA has one of the biggest rackets going. They get, for free, the services of these soon to be pro athletes under the guise of promoting education when nothing could be further from the truth. They exploit their talent, give them a few bucks to attend their school, and get, again for free, what they should be paying for. The players become household names but they don't get paid a dime for anything, all in the spirit of not tarnishing the sanctity of college sports. The NCAA says that a free education is payment enough to these kids, but when they're making millions while the kids get flack for taking $1 from anyone other than their family, the whole thing smells a little funny.
Once you parse through the minuscule increases in the graduation rates, and keep in mind that these are numbers for people who entered the college or university from 1997 to 2000 and graduated by 2007, you get to the real numbers. The lows. The bottom line is that if a school is graduating less than 1 in 5 of all of its players - or none at all, if you played basketball at the University of Maryland - then these overall increases are irrelevant because somebody is being failed.
Plus, just graduating is not enough. What classes are they taking and what kind of degree are they getting? And more importantly, are they doing the work themselves? I don't think it's a big secret that the administrations themselves do everything they can to make sure that the students pass their classes, by any means necessary. They just don't trust their student-athletes to do their school work. This does an extreme disservice to the student-athlete, who won't be able to get another job besides the one and only job they recruited them to do: to play ball.
The student-athletes have suffered enough for far too long with this system. If you're not going to really emphasize education in the "high profile" college sports, then so be it, but please don't insult our intelligence by trying to convince us otherwise.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Camera M.I.A., But The Show Must Go On
So I still can't find my camera, but I'm charging ahead and giving you the U.S. Open rundown. Take note of the following:
1. What the heck, AmEx? I was all excited about all the perks they were giving at the Open, including commemorative pins featuring Venus Williams and James Blake for spending at least $75 on my American Express card, which was not a problem (see #6, below). But the day I get home from the Open, I see a huge article on the front of the SportsBusiness Journal saying that AmEx was giving out these little babies to cardholders:
You can look up all the stats and scores, and watch different matches. All for carrying an American Express. I saw somebody holding one near me but I thought it was just some high-tech fan trying to show off. . . and I could have been that high-tech show-off! Boo, American Express, for not letting me know that when I was there.
2. Nike is getting lazy. Apparently I'm not the only one who noticed. Had I been able to find my camera, I could have shown you the 5 matches being played simultaneously in which all 5 male players were wearing the exact same Nike outfit. This blogger did a good job of showing you at least three of the players. The only guys who get their own outfit are Roger Federer and Raphael Nadal. I know there are some perks to being #1 and #2 in the world, but dagnabit, if I make the Top 10 in the world, give me my own shirt!! They should just call it the "Also Ran" standard issues. I know we're dealing with guys, and so you all don't care about wearing the same outfit like we do. But it's bad enough that Federer and Nadal have won every major tournament for the past three years, why add insult to injury by making me wear the same outfit as my opponent? Nike makes too much money to give everyone the same distinctive shirt. It looks ridiculous. And it's ugly.
3. That kid pictured above is Donald Young, a talented young American who lost to this guy, Feliciano Lopez:
Also wearing the shirt. If not for that headband, I don't know how I would tell them apart. Although I watched Lopez take out young Donald, I really think this kid's going to be pretty good. He's only 18 so he has time . . . to let Federer retire before he decides to make tennis his main thing. But in all seriousness, keep an eye on Donald Young.
4. Speaking of tennis as his main thing, I watched two players in the men's draw who might be in the wrong profession. The first is the man pictured above, Feliciano Lopez. I thought he looked a little pretty, like a model, when he was on the court.
I guess I was right. If he's taking pictures like this, I'm guessing he knows he could model if tennis didn't work out for him. But why be a model when you can be the best looking in a field where everyone else is relatively less attractive than you? Because if you can't beat them on the court, beating them in the looks department has to count for something - and may make you even more rich famous than you would be if you actually won a tournament. (See this other obscure tennis player.) If I were his opponent, I'd make 50 copies of this pic and post them in the locker room at every tournament. I might even put this pic on my towel, just so I could have extra motivation to kick his butt during our match. If I lost, I'd remember that he took this picture, and I would feel better.
The second player who might want to consider a career change? John Isner. When I heard Federer was playing a guy who was 6'9", my first thought was the same thought every other person had: Is this guy wearing "the shirt"? Answer: Yes, he was.
My next question: What the heck is he doing on a tennis court? I don't care who you are, if you're 6'9" and above and don't play basketball - or at least do something athletic - people are going to look at you like you've failed in your life's purpose. They might even tell you as much. If you're 6'9" or above and you're reading this, don't worry about those people. They're just jealous. . . but come on! What a waste of height! Seriously.
As a way of background, Isner is an All-American from the University of Georgia who made it to the NCAA tennis finals at #1 singles this past year. He received a wild card entry into the Open and has apparently decided to forego his final year of NCAA eligibility to go pro. And while he lost eventually, Isner did take a set off Federer, which not too many people can say. (On a side note, the guy who won the NCAA tournament didn't even get an invite to the U.S. Open. And he has to go back to school. Ick.) According to my tennis insider, Isner had a late growth spurt, so he gets a pass for passing on basketball. His one weapon, as one might imagine, is his serve. But at 6'9", you may cover the whole court in a single step, but you aren't going to be able to move like the little guys.
If his arms look a lot longer than normal, it's because they are. I didn't stretch this picture. I know he's probably fully invested in this tennis thing, but he would make way more money playing basketball, and being in the NBA is a lot less work than traveling every week to different continents and groupies are much more accessible. I'd start working on that jumper if I were you, Johnny boy.
5. Tennis is unlike most sports because the fans are supposed to keep quiet and avoid distracting the players. As most people do keep quiet and obey the "rules," it's the perfect forum for the solo exhibitionist who wants to say something ("Roddick, I want to have your baby!!") that can be heard by everyone in attendance. Seriously, you can't even walk around at tennis matches. I watched two matches involving top players in which play was halted while a mother returned to her seat with her baby, and in both instances the umpire spoke directly to the mothers to ask them to find a seat. And we got to see these mothers on their big screen, TV close-ups. Talk about embarrassing.
But the U.S. Open is also a little different. It's undoubtedly the loudest of the four major tennis tournaments, partly because it's in New York, partly because they play matches at night and serve beer in head-size portions. Either way, it can get a little rowdy. Witness James Blake's "J-Block" who regularly attend his matches to harass his opponents and support their favorite player:
. . . But even after all this, I was still not prepared to hear the "summer anthem" "Ay Bay Bay" by Hurricane Chris playing during Serena Williams' match. Amazing that this song even made it to the radio, and now it's playing at the U.S. Open. Next thing you know, they'll be talking about Kanye West's album coming out tomorrow during Monday Night Football. Wait, that just happened. No, I'm not kidding.
6. And last but not least, as much as I enjoyed the U.S. Open, I need to gripe about one thing: the prices. Here is a run down of the ridiculous:
- The food. For $3.50, you could get two hands full of water. Just about enough to swallow an aspirin with. A small bottle of Gatorade? $4.50. Caesar salad on flat bread (really, three pieces of lettuce on stale bread)? $14. I saw a small seafood dish that cost $25. At a food stand. Without a waiter. Or napkins. Or even tartar sauce. The only way I'm paying $25 for one item from a stand is if I get to keep eating it forever, or at least a week. I refused to buy the water or the Gatorade, just on principle. I also refused because Evian tastes like toilet water. Not that I've tasted toilet water, but if I did, that's what I imagine it would taste like. And of course you can't bring in your own food and drink. But I heard that if you stuff drinks in sweatshirt sleeves in your bag, you can sneak them past the bottle mafia at the gate. I'm not saying I did that, I just heard that it works . . . if you try it next year and get caught, I will not be held liable for your attempt to cheat the system.
- The clothing. The same zip up cotton jacket you might see for $5 in a shop in NYC sold for $125 at the Open, all because of the gigantic Polo Ralph Lauren logo on the back. I never cease to be amazed that a company expects that I'm going to pay them to advertise for them. Since the logo's on the back, I can't even see it and enjoy the fruits of my hard-earned dollars. Now if they want to give me $125 to wear the jacket, then we can talk. So what if I'm not famous. Yet.
- The tickets. As it turns out, the U.S. Open is near to the top of the most profitable sporting events in the world, outpacing even the NCAA basketball tournament. . . and I see why. I can't really complain because I didn't technically pay for this year's tickets, but they are crazy expensive nonetheless. Even the "cheap" seats are $60, and it costs $50 just to be on the grounds. Besides the fact that sitting in the cheap seats increases the likelihood that you will experience nose bleeds, headaches, nausea and/or vomiting, you can barely see what's going on from way up there. Nike clearly was not taking the "cheap" seats into account when they gave every player the same shirt and shorts. The best you can hope for is that Federer is playing so you can tell who won!
Overall, if you haven't been to the U.S. Open, I would certainly recommend that you check it out. Even if you're not a huge tennis fan, there's always something worth seeing,
for all of us.
