Running On the Other Side*

Greetings from the other side of the world!

I am going to make this REALLY quick because I'm paying by the half hour but I had a few thoughts to drop:

1. Is the Miami Heat trying to get kicked down to the D-League? 54 points in a whole game? You're not even trying. Shame on you, Pat Riley. No excuse.

2. Today, the NCAA tournament kicks off. I'm not making any predictions, but I am making a request, and that is that I don't have to see Psycho T tearing down any nets. Please.

3. Right before I left, I heard Bob Knight complain about how some good teams don't make it into the tournament in favor of lesser teams that prevail in their confrence tournaments and how much of a travesty this is. I disagree. That's the beauty of the tournament. Smaller programs would never see the light of day much less get the opportunity to take down the nation's best teams if they did it any other way. We loved the New York Giants, we love Cinderellas. That's why people watch. But while an upset or two is nice, we don't want to see the Cinderella necessarily win the whole thing . . . at least I don't. It's fun for a little while but let's not get too carried away.

4. Andrew Bynum might return to the L.A. Lakers lineup just in time for the Lakers run through the playoffs. Man, this is going to be an interesting Western Conference finals. Over on the East, snooze city. I read an article in Time magazine in which readers got to ask questions of NBA Commissioner David Stern. One reader asked about the sorry state of the NY Knicks and whether he was concerned at all. Stern replied with the usual party line about this being a time to build and they'll be back. Ok, well when he gets over the shock of the poor ratings between East and West, I think he just might change his tune.

5. So top-ranked high school QB recruit Terrelle Pryor went with Ohio State as his college of choice. Michigan must be quite upset, but Pryor went with the possibility of sitting a year over coming in and starting in a program that I must admit is pretty darn good. And yes, it's no Michigan in terms of academics (although not shabby as one of the smartest lawyers - not an oxymoron - I know went there) but somehow I don't think that figured into the equation . . . All the best for a great career there, though, kid. Believe the hype, but not too much of it.

*Ode to an all-time fave by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. The song is much darker than I meant the title here to be, but it fit.

As Simple As 1 +1

Out of town tomorrow. Late night tonight. Can only mean one thing . . .

1. I caught the end of the Chicago Bulls/Miami Heat game, in which the Heat racked up its 24th loss out of the last 25 games. I didn't see Shawn Marion playing at all. But I did see Dwyane Wade taking ill-advised shots and turning the ball over on numerous occasions. Is he still injured? They looked terrible.

2. Monica Seles officially retired from tennis today. I had no idea that she hadn't actually retired, and she hasn't played a match in five years, but apparently she was trying for a comeback. Nine Grand Slam titles is nothing to sneeze at, and she was really nearing her peak when she got stabbed by the crazed Steffi Graf fan. Everything happens for a reason, though. Enjoy life after tennis, Monica. You are certainly one of the greats of the game.

3. Going back to basketball for a moment. The All-Star game rolls into New Orleans this weekend. I went to the one last year in Las Vegas but somehow missed most of the "action" people were talking about when I got back. I also missed the mile-long line to check in at the airport. Literally. People are predicting that New Orleans will be . . . interesting, but let's hope it's not quite as interesting as last year. I just read earlier today about how the NBA has engaged all of its major sponsors in doing community service projects for the city. I'm happy to see that they aren't just coming in, tearing up the town, and leaving because I don't know how much more NOLA can take. Hopefully Mardi Gras got it all out of people's systems.

4. Super Bowl winner (not a Patriot) and New York Giants linebacker Antonio Pierce has been charged with neglecting his pitbulls in the days leading up to the Super Bowl. Two pits escaped from his property, and one dog was found to be underweight and suffering from a respiratory illness, which prompted the charges. The charges would bring a fine, not jail time like his fellow league member, Michael Vick. I am hopeful that this was just a mistake and that maybe (just maybe) they were all too quick to pin another pitbull case on an NFL player. That, or Pierce should really check into doggy day care when he's going to be gone for long periods of time.

5. Am I the only one who forgot that at least part of the reason Congress cares about Roger Clemens is because it's illegal to use steroids without a prescription? Now it makes more sense why the Repubs were so adamant about calling Clemens' former trainer, Brian McNamee, being a drug dealer . . . he really was. But he didn't give any to Clemens. I have to work on not misremembering so much.

Now I know I didn't mention anything pertaining to the above pic of Manu Ginobili doing . . . I have no idea what he's doing, or if that move is even legal, but he looks funny. Something else that's funny is that he gave LeBron James and company the business on Wednesday night, scoring 46 points against the Cavs. I am a witness.

Deja Vu

I forgot about this one yesterday. If you'll recall, the Miami Heat are scheduled to replay their game against the Atlanta Hawks because the official scorer erred in giving Shaquille O'Neal six fouls when he really only had five.

Shaq's departure threw a wrinkle in there but the league has decided that the show must go on. So now the Heat gets a chance to win a game they already lost playing on a different day with the exact same players as before. Hopefully they will use their time wisely, but I guess they really don't have anything to lose at this point. And by anything I mean absolutely nothing.

News Blink (Not Hyped Enough For A Flash): Shaq to Suns, Marion and Another Guy to Heat

Well, this was quite the quiet trade, now wasn't it? One prediction I can make is that the season ticket sales of the Phoenix Suns will suddenly spike. The Miami Heat's ticket sales? Not so much.

Stephen A. Smith seems to think this would be a good trade for both teams - Shaq gets some fresh legs to run around him while he holds it down in the middle, and D Wade gets some help. Yeah, I don't see D Wade sticking this one out much longer than he has to unless the Heat make some other acquisitions.

I was surfing the 'net and came across this exchange between Dan Patrick and Shaq after the Heat won the NBA Championship in 2006:

Dan Patrick: Congratulation. Shaq, come on in. How's this one feel
differently than the ones in L.A.?

Shaquille Oneil: It feels good. I came to Miami because of this young
fellow right here [Wade]. I knew he was a special player. I knew the first time
I saw him I knew he was something special. So I knew it was my job to come here
and make him better.

Dan Patrick: When you looked at his skill, when's the first time you
said, "I got -- I can be Robin to his Batman."

Shaquille Oneil: No, I knew that, you know, he was a young gunner. So
when I came here I decided to let him go, and I was going be, you know, second
option. And I was good with that and, you know, he's a great player, unselfish
player. He's the best in the world, D. Wade.

Dan Patrick: You wanted to play for Pat Riley. You got a chance. What
has he meant to your career?

Shaquille Oneil: Pat Riley's the best coach I've ever had. Him, Dale
Brown, you know, my father, you know they've been...telling me, you know, to
just stay positive all year. And Coach -- Coach Riley told us on June 8th that
we was going to win on June 20th.

I think I said this before, but my, what a difference two years makes.

I will be interested to see if this trade really helps anyone. A loyal reader mentioned that although Shaq's near the top of his five faves of all time, his "lower body has more miles than my old Toyota RAV4, and I got rid of that whip 2 yrs ago." I couldn't have said it better myself. Like my reader, I still want to see Shaq do well, though, so we'll just be cautiously optimistic . . . for now.

Ready to Run . . .

Hopefully things (i.e., life) will lighten up soon. As it was, it took me two nights to write this, and more stuff happened, but I've updated where necessary. So until that light day, here goes nothing:

1. #24 Kansas State (a.k.a. Michael Beasley) finally beat #2 ranked Kansas in college basketball on Wednesday night. Kansas had won 35 or their last 36 meetings, and K State hadn' won on Kansas' floor since 1983, before most of the players who played last night were even born. Since Michael Jackson's Thriller album debuted . . . If you were expecting an MJ joke to follow, keep loooking. MJ is the man! And so is Beasley. Get a good look at him now, folks, because he will be gone in a few months.

2. The MLB has ruffled some feathers by asking potential umpire hirees whether they belong to the KKK. Asking whether they beat their wives or have a drug problem are OK, but the KKK is somehow offensive. A simple "no" would suffice. Thou dost protest too much . . . And since I wrote this yesterday, Jesse Jackson, Jr. has spoken out against such "ill-contrived questions" being asked.

3. Miami dropped its 17th game in the last 18 they have played. This time to the (spin the wheel, it has stopped on . . .) the Orlando Magic. And to add insult to injury, Shaq didn't make the All-Star roster. He would have made it for a record 15 years (wow, I'm getting old, and so is he) but, alas, it was not to be. They might want to just scrap the season and start over next year. Maybe they can get Michael Beasley if they lose badly enough. That's not the position they need the most, but I don't see any other really talented big men coming up the ranks, so I say start building up a solid roster.

4. Pacman Jones is getting charged dropped left and right. After avoiding charges that he punched a woman in a night club, his latest escape is frommisdemeanor public intoxication and disorderly conduct charges in Tennessee. Just one more charge for whooping some guy's _____ in Georgia, and he's a shoo-in for reinstatement to the NFL. This Super Bowl Sunday will be his first major test of the new year. Study hard, Pacman.

5. 5'5", 133 lb. Earl Boykins is back in the NBA with the Charlotte Bobcats. This will be Boykins 7th year in the league after he opted out of a $3 million contract with the Milwaukee Bucks, where he put up solid numbers. Let me just say that anyone who can make it in the NBA at 5'5" for one day much less seven years has to be one of the most talented players in the game. Yao Ming is about two feet taller than him, and Shaq weighs about 200 more pounds than he does. "Impossible Is Nothing" personified.

Four for Four . . .

I warned you yesterday that today was going to be a long day, and it was, and the result is a rundown. I might stop giving an intro after this one . . .

1. The Miami Heat lost its 15th game in a row, this one to the San Antonio Spurs. By one point. Yep, it's still an L. They haven't won in over a month, and their coming schedule isn't getting any easier with their next six games including the Boston Celtics, Toronto Raptors, Orlando Magic, and Detroit Pistons. These are all good teams who will probably beat up on the Heat unless they figure out a way to get out of this mess. This has sped past ridiculous and is now in the territory of busting apart at the seams.

2. Kelly Tilghman returned to the air and gave an apology. Rehearsed but pretty good. She has learned her lesson, and hopefully people will start thinking before they speak. She is lucky to still have her job in the post-Imus era, so hopefully this is the last out of line thing we hear from her. I won't hold my breath, though.

3. I love (no pun intended) how Oregon still hates Kevin Love so much for going to UCLA to play baskebtall that they boo him when he comes home. Yes, they booed when his name was announced in the starting line up in Thursday night's game against the Oregon Ducks. I know that the kid said he was prepared for it, but all the preparation in the world won't take away the sting of hearing your hometown boo you. If it had been just a few booes, then fine, but it sounded like the entire arena. Come on, people, grow up. How many NCAA basketball championships does Oregon have again?

4. I saw this article discussing a "caddy snack" and was curious as to what was meant by that. I'll give you 10 guesses, I don't think you would come close. What happened? Two caddies in Hawaii stole and ate a man's dog for whom they were caddying. A German shepherd puppy. Would that happen on the mainland U.S.? We have some sick people here but that might be too brazen even for us. The fact that it was two people makes it even more crazy. I've heard of puppy chow, but this crosses the line.

5. World #2 Rafael Nadal was summarily swept out of the semifinals of the Australian Open by France's Jo-Wilfried Tsonga. Some may call this an upset but real tennis fans know that "Rafa's" ranking is artificially inflated because of his awesomeness on clay. Now he's definitely a great player, and has notched some wins on other surfaces, but he is not the #2 player in the world on the hard courts like the ones they are playing on now. Great win for Tsonga though, catapulting him into his first ever Grand Slam final where he will meet the winner of the other semi between Novak Djokovic and Roger Federer. Djokovic has the goods, but this is Fed in a slam so my money is with him. Either way, Tsonga has his work cut out for him, but kudos are in order for just making the final. On ESPN, they said Tsonga (pictured above) resembles Muhammad Ali. They also said he has a head the size of a turkey. So are they implying that Ali's head is the size of a turkey? Or is that a faulty syllogism?

You Read That Right: Yes, New York, There Is A Knicks Team*

New feature I just devise: Any sports story that's completely out of the ordinary is going to be tagged "You Read That Right."

For the inaugural post, to the surprise of everyone, including the team and their fans, the New York Knicks are on a three-game winning streak. A team that hadn't won ten games prior to this streak now winning three in a row is a bit extraordinary. That's with Stephon Marbury going down with bone spurs in his ankle, which he says will require surgery. It's almost sad, because the Knicks had become the running joke in town. What will New Yorkers complain about now?

And the Knicks finally winning has brought attention to another disaster called the Miami Heat, which as of a Wednesday night 30-point blowout to the Chicago Bulls has now lost its 11th game in a row. That's with Shaq and D Wade both scoring 24 points apiece, but virtually no bench scoring compared to the Bulls. Another team that needs to make moves, and soon, or they might need to change their name to the Miami Ice.

* Play on the the New York Sun's response to Virginia's question as to whehter Santa Claus existed.

Perfect Shooting and Mulligans

Interesting past few days in the NBA.

First, the New Orleans Hornets' star Chris Paul shot perfectly from the field in the Hornets game against the Miami Heat on Friday night. Like, really, perfect, as in did not miss a shot. 7 for 7. And it was not just him, his teammates Bobby Jackson and Jannero Pargo were perfect, too, going 9 for 9 and and 4 for from the field, respectively. Jackson is not being promoted as a star like Paul, so that's why his 9 for 9 gets second-billing, although Jackson's performance was more impressive to me (7 for 7 from behind the 3 point line). And not one of them even attempted a free throw. Of course, this is minus Shaq, but even without him, only two starters had two fouls, while the rest of the team had about one foul apiece. That's great defense, Heat. If you don't believe me, check out the caption on ESPN for the above photo: "Looking on is Miami Heat guard Jason Williams."

This was in striking contrast to the Detroit Pistons shooting against the New York Knicks on Sunday night at Madison Square Garden. Who won this game? If you said the league-terrible Knicks, then you would be correct. The Pistons shot about as awfully as they could have. How awful? Second worst scoring performance in the history of the franchise. That bad.

But, the Miami Heat can take solace in receiving the rarest of the rare kind of gift from the NBA. No, not a good team. No, they received the chance to re-play part of a game that they lost.

In a December 19 game against the Atlanta Hawks, the official scorers incorrectly reported that Shaq had fouled out of the game with 51.9 seconds remaining, when in fact he only had 5 fouls. Alas, Shaq "fouled out" and the Hawks won the game, 117-111.

The Heat protested the game's outcome because of the foul discrepancy, and Commissioner David Stern has decided they were right. So on March 8, the team will re-play the game with 51.9 seconds on the clock, when the Hawks were leading 114-111. From Stern's comments, the closeness of the game is the reason for the re-play. And the Heat lost an "L" in the loss column - although I don't think it would make much of a difference.

Not only that, but Stern fined the Hawks $50,000 for their "grossly negligent" conduct. Yes, Stern is still an attorney at heart.

If that sounds unusual, it's because it is. I can't recall ever hearing of anything even remotely like that. That's because nothing like this has happened since 1982, when the San Antonio Spurs benefited from a do-over against the Los Angeles Lakers (ironically, involving the same scores involved here, 117-114). I'm intrigued as to how this will be handled logistically. It appears that the end of this game will take place prior to the beginning of a regularly scheduled meeting between the two teams, so that the fans will get something of a doubleheader. I would be mad if I had tickets to the last outing, though, and couldn't witness the history in the making. I will be tuning in for this one, for sure . . . hmm, maybe that is the whole point? Stern is no dummy, folks.

Riley Running?

Sources are saying that Pat Riley may be out as coach of the Miami Heat at the end of this season, although I have heard other rumors that he could be out by the All-Star break which would be about a month from now. Before the Heat's game Wednesday night, Riley denied reports that he plans to go anywhere before his contract is up in the '09-'10 season.

Riley currently serves as President and coach for the Heat, and his move likely means that he would stay on as President and step down as coach.

Well, we all know Pat Riley's a winner. And if he's not winning, he probably doesn't want to be a part of it. With the team at 8-27, and an injured Dwyane Wade, he's at the helm of a sinking ship.

I don't know if he should get credit for having just enough of an in-check ego to let someone else do the job, or if he should be called out for trying to get out when the going gets tough. I'm going to guess that most people would say the latter, especially after he fired Stan Van Gundy and replaced him with himself, and managed to win a championship the year that he took over.

No matter what Riley's motives are, I am all for fixing what is broken. Something has to give because they really stink.

Be Like Mike . . . and Shaq!

Following on the (ginormous) heels of his teammate, Shaquille O'Neal, word on the street (or at least the Internet) is that Dwyane Wade has decided he had enough of his wife, Siohvaughn, for now, and they are due to get unhitched after five years of marriage (also the length of Shaq's marriage).

I'm all for mentoring, but this could be a bit much . . .