Flying and Running

I'm leaving on a jet plane this morning. I'm planning to return on Thursday, which might mean no post that day, but I've been known to surprise people including myself. Here's one for the road:


1. There's an update to that Houston Astros' pitcher wedding arrest. It turns out that after the wedding, the group went to the bar. The bride's brother tried to bring an outside drink into the bar when a fight ensued . . . which ended in the brother and his father - the bride's father - getting tasered and pepper sprayed by the police, and the brother airlifted to a hospital. Astros' pitcher Brandon Backe was apparently trying to break up the attack. At first blush, this sounded like a case of "liquid courage," but after reading more details and different takes on it, including eyewitness accounts of what happened, it sounds like the police lost it. (It's too bad that the first charges are against the regular folks and it's not until much later that the cops get charged . . . if they ever do. At least they're investigating it.) Tasing and pepper spray? Pepper spray is not a game. One time, I tried to make a French Open tennis court for my French class (I won't say how old I was because I was definitely old enough to know better). Being creative, I found the perfect substitute for the red clay of Roland Garros: cayenne pepper. You know how they say it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye? It's true. Everything was going well until I got to the part of cleaning of the white lines on the "court." My solution? Blow on them. And it was at that exact moment that I learned what it was like to be pepper sprayed. That was definitely one of the most painful nights of my life. And when I brought my work of art to class, I had to plaster a huge "DO NOT TOUCH - DEATH MAY ENSUE!" sign on it. I also had a taser gun in college (courtesy of my concerned relative) but, thankfully, I have no story connected with that one. The moral of the story is cops shouldn't be able to just spray and tase folks all will-nilly. That's how people get hurt. Just ask R. Kelly.

2. I was right about Reggie Bush. Now that he's gotten more serious about his football, Kim Kardashian's talking about going back (no pun intendd) on Dancing with the Stars. I won't allow it. Not unless they test her for a soul first - if you've watched her dancing on the show, then you understand. Beautiful girl, but wow.

3. Someone is stalking Los Angeles Lakers' forward Luke Walton. Did she get him confused with his dad, Bill? Otherwise, I'm a little confused by her choice. She had already marked up his car, why did he wait until she fired at him with a "fake gun" (Luke's description of the woman making a gun out of her hands) before he decided she wasn't all there? I must note that all of this occurred after he refused to give her an autograph. Luke. . . um, I don't know how to break this to you, but are you really in a position to be refusing autographs? Perhaps you should be grateful that anyone has noticed there are other players on the floor besides Kobe Bryant.

4. NBA legend Elgin Baylor is out as the general manager of the Los Angeles Clippers. The Clippers say he resigned, but Baylor says "you'll be hearing from my lawyers." Baylor is 74 years old and by all accounts hadn't really been running things for years - that was coach Mike Dunleavy's unofficial job, and Dunleavy will now take over Baylor's duties. I don't really get the Clippers. I don't get why they're in L.A. when they already have (and love) the Lakers, and I don't get why they have never quite been able to turn the corner even though they had a few opportunities to do so. So, I guess firing a 74 year old man who was holding his position in name only isn't so far-fetched. I guess that's what you get for messing with the Clippers . . . and the Oakland Raiders . . . and the Detroit Lions . . . and . . .

5. Barry Bonds came out of hiding to tell us he loves his freedom away from baseball. I suppose he is free in that waiting-to-be-sentenced kind of way, but let's not get too far ahead of ourselves . . .

Ain't Nobody Jumpin' Around . . . Ok. So I am.

Besides losing to the Minnesota Vikings on Monday Night Football, the man sometimes known as Kim Kardasshian's better half had an excellent night. New Orleans' Saints running back Reggie Bush scored on two punt returns, becoming just the 12th man to ever do so.

After watching this game, I have a better appreciation for the fine line between a nice hit and a terrible one. The helmet-to-helmet rule is kind of tough to decipher because slo-mo doesn't always tell the real story. I think the only real difference is whether the "hittee" walks off the field.

The Vikings' own Speedy Gonzalez, Adrian "A.P." Peterson, was pretty quiet tonight, and somewhere, some grown man lost the weekly pool because of it. But the Vikings pulled it out, and that's all that matters. Is it just me or did it look like Reggie Bush was about to cry? They did show a vignette in which Bush said he was trying to focus on football only (read: the real reason Kim decided to do Dancing with the Stars) and stay out of the limelight. I felt for him when he said that he had expected to be one of the top running backs in the league, and decided to get serious. So I'm sure it was particularly frustrating to lose despite his good game. But it was a close one, and the Vikings needed this one to avoid "basement" synonyms. If Bush continues to stay focused (read: makes Kim do another reality show) then I think he has a good shot of achieving his goals.

I only posted the above pic because I want to remind him of pictures we should never, ever see again. Ever. I would, however, like to see him attain those other goals of his. . .

In other news:

How bad do you have to act up to get arrested at a wedding as a member of the wedding party? It would seem to me that if you're in the wedding, you might make an extra effort not to ruin the wedding of your good friend or family member. I'm going to assume alcohol was intimately involved, but there is drinking at a lot of weddings, and these people aren't in their early-20's.

That's the situation facing Houston Astros' pitcher Brandon Backe, who is 30 years old. Cops say they punched him in the face twice before they were able to arrest him after he allegedly refused to back away from a fight. Now, I'm not one to blindly side with the po-po, but I have to assume Backe was out of line. My favorite part of this story is the description of the other people who were involved in the fracas: the bride's father, 19-year old brother, and a FEMA director. I am cracking myself wondering what the FEMA connection could possibly be . . . being inept has never gotten George Bush jumped, so I don't get it . . .


More athletes with legal troubles: Lawrence Phillips once had a job in the NFL as a running back, but now he's looking at ten years behind bars for deliberately running down a group of teenagers after they beat him in a game of pickup football. He also alleged they stole some of his belongings. This wasn't Phillips first sign of trouble. He had previously picked up a domestic abuse charge for striking a woman he was dating at a hotel. During his brief stints in the NFL, he was dismissed once by each of the St. Louis Rams and San Francisco 49ers for insubordination and missing a practice, respectively. . . and then they just turned him loose without any guidance. He played at the University of Nebraska, football country, so he likely had some of his previous indiscretions overlooked for the sake of his talent at a big program. How many more times do we have to watch guys go down like this before we start nipping this stuff early? Sad.



Dancing with the Stars contestant and gold medal volleyball player Misty May-Treanor's dancing days are officially over after the tore her Achilles during dance rehearsals last Friday. I don't even know how you tear an Achilles while you're dancing, especially when you spring out of the sand barefoot all day. I guess that's the epitome of dancing too aggressively, for which the Dancing with the Stars judges had often criticized her. What a terrible feeling to be a professional athlete and ruining your career on a dalliance like dancing. Hopefully, this won't permanently sidetrack her career. I'd also consider sticking to barefoot dancing from here on out if I were her.

This is just such a random "sport."



Kimbo Slice lost his first mixed martial arts (MMA) fight. Now, I swear just a few days ago, they were saying this guy doesn't know anything about MMA, but you couldn't tell by these commentators, calling the fight "the most incredible victory in the history of mixed martial arts."

Another gem: "If you have a dream . . . if you're willing to step into a cage and fight for your life, you . . . can be anything you want!" I may have to start using this as my personal quote.

I don't know much about MMA, but this looks about as real as "rasslin'." (That's "wrestling" for all you northern types). Kimbo lost to a last second replacement - really. The guy he was supposed to fight had to pull out with a cut over his eye just hours before it was scheduled to go down. So Kimbo ended up fighting a guy who probably knows him well but about whom Kimbo knew nothing, not even his name. Still, no excuse for losing in 14 seconds. Although, I wonder if he decided to just throw it instead of getting seriously injured by someone he didn't know. He probably still got paid the same amount, it just wasn't worth the risk. And it wasn't really a competition, so he can do a re-match, kill this guy (not literally, MMA fans, geez), and then re-gain his status. Smart man. (And if this was not the plan, I expect some kind of remuneration for my strategy.)