GYGM: Outstanding

Shaq's more than a shover, he was a humble rapper at one point, too.

I'm not entirely convinced that's actually his voice . . .

MYSM: Quit Pushing

I can't even fake like I've had time to watch sports these past few weeks. My apologies! Hopefully, I will be able to catch up soon, and have something to say about anything. Today is not that day.

NBA fights are usually pretty weak given that none of them a) are used to throwing punches much less taking them, at least not since they were the close to the same height as the rest of the general population (age 2), and b) nobody's trying to lose that much money being suspended.

This fight took place during the Houston Rockets - Phoenix Suns game last Wednesday, and a bunch of folks got suspended (Rafer Alston, Matt Barnes, Steve Nash) and fined (Shaquille O'Neal, Tracy McGrady). Although no real punches were thrown, this warranted MYSM status based solely on how Shaq singlehandedly ended the fight with a few monster shoves. Although T Mac's "stomp that almost was" on Steve Nash's chest is a close second. Nash almost died, but Sheriff Shaq's shove saved his life. And for that he should be forever grateful.

Happy Monday!

MYSM: Stuffed Shaq

Late (very late) night, so I need to catch up on my DVR'd football games. I have a partial post analyzing the "terrible team" cycle, but it's not quite ready for prime time . . .

This may not be funny to everyone but it has to be one of the best blocks I've ever seen (ok, borderline foul with the body, but up top it was all ball), especially if you can appreciate the degree of difficulty it takes to stuff Shaq hard enough to send him crumpling to the ground. Definitely one of Ben Wallace's better days.

Running Into the Weekend

Is it just me or is this the longest week ever? I feel like I've been going to work for a week straight already, and it's not even Friday yet.

Funny stuff out there today. This won't exactly be a run-down, but I am going to jump around a little bit.

First, Shaquille O'Neal is quite the character. Today, he played Nostradamus, informing the public that he will cease to be a professional basketball player in "735 days." He says he's going into law enforcement. There is only one word for this: awesome. Hopefully, he'll be a beat cop for a little while so someone can give him his own reality show. (I would DVR that, too.) Personally, I'd like to see him become a lawyer. He certainly has a way with people, and they love him even when he's openly dissing Kobe Bryant (T.O.: take note). This bodes well for his ability to sway a jury . . . but says nothing about his ability to rap. I hope he retires from rapping in 735 days, too . . . or sooner. I mean that in the nicest way possible . . .

Vince Young took to the cameras to re-affirm that he's OK and that there's nothing to worry about. I, for one, didn't believe you'd lost your love for the game, as some have charged. But I'm going to have to agree with the PTI guys here, Vince. Mama and coach don't just jump in the fray and call the police over nothing. People are hating on you and will continue to hate on you until you right the ship, but don't let them get you down. Keep fighting the good fight. You can do it . . .


I'm going to give this college football thing a try so I can see what all the fuss is about, starting with Ohio State's game vs. USC. It's not like I've never watched a whole game, it just didn't really factor into my family's sports viewing habits so I only really watched it if someone I knew was playing or a bowl game. I'm kind of mad that it's looking like I won't get to see this guy Chris "Beanie" Wells play, which means I may have to watch Ohio State play again at some point when he's finally back (which may help my viewership). 2,500 comments about one guy's injury on ESPN.com? Clearly, I'm missing something . . .


Speaking of Ohio, folks there are peeved with its native son, LeBron James, for his affinity for sports teams located outside of its borders. (Warning: I'm actually supporting him here. I think I'm getting soft in my old age.) He's a fan of the NY Yankees, Dallas Cowboys, and Chicago Bulls - all teams that have enjoyed tremendous success in their respective sports, particularly while James was growing up. It seems like he's just like half of the country in his preferences, even picking up on "America's team" in the Yankees and Cowboys. I don't really see anything wrong with that. While it may seem hard to understand how a man can root against the home team when he has lived there his whole life, I know plenty of people who have done it. My guess is popular teams gain the most fans they're winning, and the most successful teams tend to keep those fans even if they start losing. But, come on, it's LeBron James. He likes winners because he strongly identifies with what they do . . . win, which is more than can be said for most of the teams in Ohio (pro, not college, of course). Sure, it probably stung the Cleveland Browns to see him donning a Yankees cap, blue and silver tee, and saying what's up to his boys on the Dallas Cowboys sideline, but I think they should just be happy he's still playing in Cleveland . . . for now . . .

Speaking of Cowboys, Tony Romo made a stop on his way home from Cleveland last Sunday night to help a couple change a flat tire. The couple said that 100 cars drove by before someone stopped to help them. And he'd just gotten over a dozen stitches in his chin. I think it's great that he stopped, which I know most people (including me - not at night!) wouldn't have done, and clearly didn't do here. But I'm most happy that he knows how to change a tire. I had wrongly assumed my whole life that all men knew how to do this until a few months ago. This is one area where equality isn't so important . . .


Rounding up with football, Ricky Williams proved that you can negotiate your own contract when he re-upped with the Miami Dolphins, all by himself, with no agent (Look ma, no hands!). I don't know how well he negotiated it, but if anyone can, he can. I think some of his past actions have caused people to underestimate how intelligent he really is. I'm encouraged to see veterans taking control of their own decision-making. Most lawyers/agents may not like what I'm going to say, but I look at it like this: if you've gone to trial 5 times for the exact same offense, you could probably do a pretty decent job defending yourself on the 6th one. Just a thought . . .


Have a great weekend!

I'm Baaaaaack

So I thought I might blog last week but I was having too much fun to pull out the laptop. Plus the Internet access at the hotel was only in the lobby or in the "business center" - it's hard to get inspiration in the business center.

But I am back - for the next week, at least - and I hear I missed a few things, like:

1. Brett Favre decided to pack it in. I knew when the website "accidentally" posted that he was retiring that something had to be up. I and everyone else (especially the NFL and its sponsors) will certainly miss him, but I am all for leaving while you're on top. It's all about primacy and recency - people remember what they saw first, and they remember what they saw last. Some people can get away with playing longer than they really should (i.e., Michael Jordan) but it's certainly not recommended. So enjoy the rest of your life, Mr. Fah-vruh. You seemed like a pretty good guy, on and off the field. All the best.


2. What is going on with the Chicago Bulls? First Tyrus Thomas misses practice for no explicable reason, and gets suspended for two games, then Chris Duhon is seen on national TV at the Duke-UNC game in Durham on Saturday night, a game which he did not receive permission to attend. And then he gets suspended a game for missing the morning shootaround because of some alleged issues with his wake-up call. Remember, it's "fall back, spring forward," Chris. Add that to the issues with Joakim Noah chewing out an assistant coach earlier in the season, and you have the personification of man vs. the establishment. This is the NBA, folks, not college. Let's try to do a little better.

3. The Houston Rockets are riding an 18-game winning streak, taking their 6th in a row since Yao Ming went down for the year. In the process, they've gone from 10th place in the Western Conference to 3rd. In a word, impressive. This was a team that was just barely keeping its head about the .500 mark and now they're gunning for the top spot in the conference. Let's try to do a little better. On Monday night the Rockets take on the New Jersey Nets. Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and chalk up #19 for them. I feel that I can say that without much hesitation at all. The Nets are borderline terrible but they still have a shot of making the playoffs. Yes, that does say a lot for the conference. A whole lot.

4. I watched this feature on SportsCenter about this sugar cane plantation of sorts in Florida where at least 48 NFL players have been bred. There are three high schools near this plantation, all of which won high school state football championships in their class. Part of this training involves chasing rabbits, which sounds like a great idea to develop quickness and agility. This feature was going well for me until they profiled one player who had finally caught a cotton tail rabbit - the first man in his family to do so. He seemed to be grabbing the rabbit rather roughly, but I didn't think much of it until ESPN cut to an aerial view of the frying pan where the player was cooking up the fruits of his labor. If I said that this was not how I expected this to end, that would be an understatement. Ugh.

5. If you didn't watch the game, hopefully you caught the clip of Shaquille O'Neal in the San Antonio Spurs/Phoenix Suns game on Sunday. In a solid effort to chase down a ball that was exiting the court, Shaq nearly killed everyone in the 3rd row of the not-so-cheap seats when he literally leapt into the crowd after (I can only assume) he lost his balance. That or he really was trying to kill someone. The fan who was to have died somehow managed to get out of the way (that split second in which Shaq bent his knees and looked at his target probably helped). Shaq weighs entirely too much to leap into a pool much less into other human beings who probably had no idea how close they came to losing their life for some courtside seats. It's just not as fun when you get killed and can't tell your cool story.

So We Meet Again

The Los Angeles Lakers welcomed the Phoenix Suns to town on Wednesday night. Of course, this was not just any game. This was Shaquille O'Neal's debut with the Suns, and Shaq/Kobe Bryant head-to-head. Kobe got the best of him this night, as he has in their previous head-to-heads since they parted ways in L.A. Speaking of heads, Shaq went completely bare on the head and the face in his debut, perhaps symbolizing his fresh start.

It's funny that Shaq has bounced around and Kobe has stayed with the Lakers for almost 12 years. Man, I am getting old.

Kobe had 41 points and one NASTY dunk. Even Bill Walton had to admit he is looking like the MVP. Obviously, he is proving what I and others have said all along - there is no such thing as a fair trade for him. Pau Gasol is looking like a terrific fit, and might end up being one of the smartest trades made all season when it's all said and done.

Shaq threw in 15 points, 9 in the last quarter, 9 boards, and apparently even surprised himself with his stamina at the end of the game. Amare Stoudemire had 37 points and 15 rebounds(!), Steve Nash did his usual, and even Grant Hill threw in 17 points.

So don't count out this Suns team because this was their first game with a new team and they still only lost by six to a very solid Lakers team. Again, looks like it is going to be an exciting finish in the Western Conference. As for the East? We'll just have to wait and see . . .

Deja Vu

I forgot about this one yesterday. If you'll recall, the Miami Heat are scheduled to replay their game against the Atlanta Hawks because the official scorer erred in giving Shaquille O'Neal six fouls when he really only had five.

Shaq's departure threw a wrinkle in there but the league has decided that the show must go on. So now the Heat gets a chance to win a game they already lost playing on a different day with the exact same players as before. Hopefully they will use their time wisely, but I guess they really don't have anything to lose at this point. And by anything I mean absolutely nothing.

News Blink (Not Hyped Enough For A Flash): Shaq to Suns, Marion and Another Guy to Heat

Well, this was quite the quiet trade, now wasn't it? One prediction I can make is that the season ticket sales of the Phoenix Suns will suddenly spike. The Miami Heat's ticket sales? Not so much.

Stephen A. Smith seems to think this would be a good trade for both teams - Shaq gets some fresh legs to run around him while he holds it down in the middle, and D Wade gets some help. Yeah, I don't see D Wade sticking this one out much longer than he has to unless the Heat make some other acquisitions.

I was surfing the 'net and came across this exchange between Dan Patrick and Shaq after the Heat won the NBA Championship in 2006:

Dan Patrick: Congratulation. Shaq, come on in. How's this one feel
differently than the ones in L.A.?

Shaquille Oneil: It feels good. I came to Miami because of this young
fellow right here [Wade]. I knew he was a special player. I knew the first time
I saw him I knew he was something special. So I knew it was my job to come here
and make him better.

Dan Patrick: When you looked at his skill, when's the first time you
said, "I got -- I can be Robin to his Batman."

Shaquille Oneil: No, I knew that, you know, he was a young gunner. So
when I came here I decided to let him go, and I was going be, you know, second
option. And I was good with that and, you know, he's a great player, unselfish
player. He's the best in the world, D. Wade.

Dan Patrick: You wanted to play for Pat Riley. You got a chance. What
has he meant to your career?

Shaquille Oneil: Pat Riley's the best coach I've ever had. Him, Dale
Brown, you know, my father, you know they've been...telling me, you know, to
just stay positive all year. And Coach -- Coach Riley told us on June 8th that
we was going to win on June 20th.

I think I said this before, but my, what a difference two years makes.

I will be interested to see if this trade really helps anyone. A loyal reader mentioned that although Shaq's near the top of his five faves of all time, his "lower body has more miles than my old Toyota RAV4, and I got rid of that whip 2 yrs ago." I couldn't have said it better myself. Like my reader, I still want to see Shaq do well, though, so we'll just be cautiously optimistic . . . for now.

Born To Run

I promise that I will actually write full articles again, someday. Until then:

1. Another young college athlete has died after collapsing during practice. 20-year old Jonathan Mason-Davis collapsed during basketball practice at Ohio University-Chillicothe. And two of his cousins were on the team. Is it just me or is this happening at an alarming rate these days? I can't help but wonder if it has something to do with our health care system, or lack thereof, not catching these things like we should. Whatever the reason, it's troubling and very sad to lose a child this way, so I hope we can study this and find out whether this was preventable. Very sad.

2. Shaq is headed from heat to sun. Yes, it's almost official - Shaquille O'Neal will be traded to the Phoenix Suns for Shawn Marion and Marcus Banks. This would have been #1 but out of respect for the deceased, I dropped it to #2. Marion has been trying to get traded for a while now. Sources say that this deal is a go if Shaq passes his physical. Wow. Now we know that the Suns don't and never have played defense. He would seem to be slowing down the movement of the running Suns. I would say this is as much about ticket sales as it is about fit.

2.5. I forgot about Pau Gasol going to the Lakers which broke over the weekend. This is an almost 19 points a game, 9 rebounds type player who has been averaging those types of numbers for his entire 6-year career. No slouch at all. He looked pretty darn good on Tuesday night althought it was against the not so good New Jersey Nets, scoring 24 points in his debut. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

3. Roger Clemens testified under oath about his steroid use, or lack thereof. His trainer will also testify and say that Clemens is lying. All I hope is that someone, or both, avoids jail time because we know what happens when you lie under oath.

4. One Patriots player is taking the loss extra hard. Defensive back Willie Andrews was arrested after a traffic stop in which he had weed in his car and apparently didn't have a registered vehicle. I really hope his license plate had fallen off or he just bought the car and didn't have his registration sticker in the window. Because otherwise, why?

5. It's not a good day unless the Celtics lose. This time to the Cleveland Cavaliers. I'm not a huge fan of LeBron James, but we can band in solidarity in our dislike of the Celts overratedness. And again, only 2/3 of the Big 3 are healthy enough to play. Notice the talk of world champs has gone by the wayside now that they are close to double-digit losses. That's what I like to hear.

Rundown . . .

My apologies for doing this two days in a row, but I lost several hours earlier that I can never regain and now I am paying for it. On to RFTR . . .

1. First Serena, now Venus has lost in Australia. But Maria Sharapova outlasted Justine Henin, hitting her with a bagel (that's 6-0) in the second set. This means all of the people who would normally beat Sharapova are gone, and absent some hiccup, she will probably win it all.

2. Shaquille O'Neal is out again for at least two weeks. Shaq is missing about 1/4 of the season or more every year. This time he's out with a hip ailment, proof that he really is getting old. When you're 7'1" tall, I don't think your body can take too much stress for too long. I would say his team needs him, but after losing 14 games in a row, it can't get much worse, and maybe they will start winning with him on the sidelines. Hopefully.

3. People are making a big deal about the above picture (and others like it) of Tom Brady in a foot cast - carrying flowers no less, allegedly on his way to Gisele Bundchen's home. Sounds staged to me. I don't know why he'd even walk down the street in NYC. He's just trying to psych out Eli, that's all. I believe if he had a crushed foot, I believe he would still play, so I don't expect this to mean that he won't be in the Super Bowl. Carry on.

4. Proving that the depth in the college basketball is very real, University of Kentucky beat the #3 ranked University of Tennessee Volunteers Tuesday night. Kentucky has been up and down (more down than up) this season but every now and then, they can produce a good game. I did not get home until really Wednesday morning so I missed this game, but this is obviously a great win for them. As I said before, in a single-elimination format, this year is going to make for a very interesting NCAA tournament.

5. R.I.P. Heath Ledger. I know this is not sports related, but it's my blog so I can break the rules every now and then. A very talented, underrated actor, in my opinion. Just a reminder to cherish every day you have with the people around you.

Be Like Mike . . . and Shaq!

Following on the (ginormous) heels of his teammate, Shaquille O'Neal, word on the street (or at least the Internet) is that Dwyane Wade has decided he had enough of his wife, Siohvaughn, for now, and they are due to get unhitched after five years of marriage (also the length of Shaq's marriage).

I'm all for mentoring, but this could be a bit much . . .

Hack-A-Shaq: Not So Fun When Your Wife is (Allegedly) Committing the Fouls

I wanted to post about this yesterday when it broke, but if you haven't heard already - if he needs an intro, you might be on the wrong blog - Shaquille O'Neal is seeking a divorce from his wife of five years, Shaunie. In court filings, Shaq has accused her of being shady with their assets. Hmm. Now why would the wife a multi-millionaire be hiding assets from her husband? The real reason could be anything, of course, but my first thought is that she was saving up for a rainy day. By that, I mean she knew that this day was coming and she was getting her affairs in order so that she wouldn't be left high and dry when the poo hit the fan.

And right behind those allegations come the rumors that she was having an affair with her personal trainer. While I wouldn't be surprised if these rumors were started by good ol' Superman himself, I am reminded of something a wise woman once told me. "If you're hiring someone who'll be working in your home, make sure s/he is either very old or very unattractive." Not that this means nothing will happen, but no sense setting anybody up for the fall, right? There is no way that I'd allow my husband to be trained by some 27 year old goddess, even if I were the fittest woman in the world . . . and for the record, I'm close to it, but not quite there yet.

So Shaq let his wife do "reps" with some hulky, Cuban adonis (he's a trainer to the stars in Miami - he's ripped) and now he wants to cry foul? (sorry, couldn't resist) I don't know about this one. What I do know is that divorces are probably the messiest proceedings you'll ever see, and absolutely anything is possible. God bless every family law attorney who deals with this stuff on a daily basis because that could never be me.

But alas, Shaq and Shaunie may not have to fight it out after all. I guess he heard the immortal words of Kanye West:

"We want prenup!"

My "favorite" part of the court filing is Shaq's requested custody arrangement:

As for custody, Shaq states that Shaunie should be “primary residential custodian” and that he should get “liberal rights of visitation.”

So basically he's saying "I'm leaving you but I want you to keep them, and I'll come see them when I feel like it." Awesome. I can't wait for Shaunie to go on Oprah with her side of the story. Actually, that probably violates the prenuptial agreement. Darn lawyers.

And lastly, don't worry about your new life, Shaunie. You're in pretty good company.