Just Running

So it turns out I really do need sleep. And today was one of the least exciting sports days that I can recall. That can only mean one thing:

1. Kobe Bryant is taking it like a man (what does that really mean?) and is deciding to forego pinkie surgery. Coincidentally, several people I know who've played basketball have really fmessed up pinkie fingers that they never got fixed. It may not look pretty, but as long as his pinkie can support the ball, he'll probably be OK. I always knew he was tough.

2. San Francisco 49ers QB Alex Smith looks like he's out for the year with a broken shoulder. (This was not supposed to be an injury report, I swear). And it looks like he's thrown his last pass for the 49ers - for good. He came in with high hopes, and ended up . . . injured. I recall a certain someone from my fantasy team (who may or may not read this blog) who had him on their team and ended up regretting it. It sounds like another case of a guy with an injury that needs time being forced to come back before he's ready. And unfortunately, the person who pays the worst price is always the athlete. Check out this article by Jemele Hill, where she virtually composes an open-letter to Shawne Merriman asking him to stop playing. (Turns out he didn't have a choice.) And as an added injury-bonus, DJ Gallo from Page 2 explains why Matt Cassel's better than Tom Brady. Funny stuff.

3. I caught the tail end of the L.A. Angels/N.Y. Yankees game on ESPN. The Angels clinched the AL West with the win, the first team to have a solid spot in October. I also caught the familiar champagne bath after the game. I thought about how it was funny to see a team celebrating like that just for making the playoffs, but I guess the season's so long and the playoffs only include a few teams so it's a bigger deal than in other sports. But who knows. Baseball has so many "traditions" that it's hard to keep track sometimes . . . I may have mentioned here that I used to turn on baseball games to take naps, and I actually fell asleep during the game tonight, but maybe it was just a Pavlov's dog reaction. I can fully admit I'm more ho-hum than usual because no team I care about has been in contention. This fight between Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez and Torii Hunter did pique my interest. Just a bit. Actually, the fact that Derek Jeter passed Babe Ruth's Yankees record for most hits also interests me. As you saw a few days ago, I'm skeptical of any accolades received when the playing field fails to include everyone who could beat you. Congrats, Jeter.

4. Continuing the theme, allegedly, there's this like, really big college football game on Saturday featuring USC v. Ohio State - the #1 and #5 ranked teams in the country, respectively. I haven't been much of a college football fan but I think I may watch this one. That is, if I have energy after Camp Obama . . . if not, DVR will have to come through in the clutch. Have I mentioned how much I love DVR yet? Or how happy I am that I never gave Comcast my money for this service?

5. #3 and #4 above made me realize now that I need to expand my sports horizons so I have more to write in these run-downs (I rarely run out of material for the longer posts, I just run out of time!) Since football's primarily a Sunday event, there just isn't much action to keep my attention on the weekdays. . . until the NBA starts up. Jessica Simpson/Tony Romo stories just don't do it for me - although the "Yoko Romo" tag was amusing.

6. I know it's usually five, but just as I was about to wrap this up, I turned on vh1 to check out Luke's Parental Advisory. When I turned it on, I wasn't sure which "Luke" they were referring to (Luke Jensen got a reality show?) but then I saw that Uncle Luke aka Doo Doo Brown, former fearless leader of 2 Live Crew, has his own show. In the two minutes I saw, I caught the following: Luke and his fiancee, Kristin, appear to be getting married soon, so they are sitting with someone talking about potential videographers. The other guy tells Uncle Luke about a few and notes that one of them shoots "pornos." Luke, naturally, says he wants this guy. Why? Because he is "good at close ups" and "taking tight shots" (and as Luke later tells us, "You know he can get the money shot.") When Kristin protests, this other guy says he's siding with the bride on this one. She actually seems like a classy lady. Further proof that love really is blind.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Life just isn't fair sometimes.

Probably no one knows that right now better than Detroit Tigers relief pitcher Joel Zumaya. While playing the role of the good son, Zumaya tried to save some belongings from the attic of his parents' home in California as the wildfire closed in.

All of a sudden, a heavy box falls on his pitching shoulder, he has major surgery, and now it looks like he'll miss half of next season because of it. And he was on track to be a closer (i.e., close out the games) . . .

There are plenty of times growing up when my parents asked me to do something and I wished something would fall on my arm so I didn't have to be bothered. Now that I'm older, I see this may have been a little shortsighted.

Zumaya already missed three months of last season after somehow rupturing a tendon in his middle finger while warming up in the bullpen.

Strange injuries make you think that God might be trying to tell you something. Hopefully he'll learn whatever it is while he's healing up. His rookie year was 2006, when he helped the Tigers make their run to the World Series, so hopefully this won't be a career-altering or -ending injury. No one will really know the deal until he can throw again, which means not until next March at the earliest.

In the meantime, keep an eye on this guy since he seems a little accident-prone. Maybe Michael Jackson still has that tank he can borrow:

They Used To Call Me Crazy Jose But Now They Call Me Batman

A few months ago, former major league baseball player and All-Star Jose Offerman attacked a pitcher with a bat after the pitcher hit him in the calf with a pitch.

There was no video there, but these stills were put together to look like a silent film:

http://extras.connpost.com/offerman/

As it was, the pitcher injured his off hand, and the catcher who rushed the mound suffered a concussion, although it's unclear exactly how each was injured. Offerman had been working to try to get back into the majors, but following that incident, he was, and still is, suspended indefinitely. He was also arrested after the game.

Today, he received two years of probation and was ordered to go to anger management classes.

I don't know if that was enough. From the stills, that attack looked pretty vicious. Had he just attacked the guy with his bare hands, that's one thing, but if he had landed that bat, who knows what would have happened? Scary.

If Lebron Couldn't Bring Up the Ratings . . .

So baseball has sagging ratings, and the small-market Cleveland Indians are up 3-1 in a best of 7 series . . .

THEN the big-market Boston Red Sox win three games in a row, with the Indians never scoring more than 2 runs and losing by at least 6 runs in each of those three games.

Coincidence or bad pitching?

MYSM: Be Glad This Is Not You

You and I have probably nodded off dozens of times. In fact, I fully fell asleep at my desk today. Good thing there weren't any cameras around!

You're Not Watching, Either

Yesterday, I was beating myself up for not posting about the MLB playoffs. But I just couldn't force myself to care enough to write anything worthy of being searched on Google.

Today, I found out that I am not alone. At least with respect to the National League series. Because the usual biggies (i.e., NY, LA) markets aren't playing or got knocked out, and the games are a tad on the late side (10 p.m. starts), it looks like ratings are hovering near record lows.

As a sports fan, I couldn't care less if no one is watching my team, so long as they keep showing the games on TV so I don't have to sell my belongings to buy tickets to all the games. Sure, this is not so swell for the networks, but I don't think a few low ratings are going to break their banks too much.

Anyone watching the World Series? Hello?

When Did They Switch to Touchdowns?

(Let's see if these images last the whole day)

So of course I love sports, but I must admit that I am a fairly recent baseball fan - really, only since my team started doing well. Before we started winning, the only time I ever turned on a baseball game was when I wanted something to have on in the background while I took a nap. So I guess that makes me a fairweather fan. Literally. Because if it's raining, you better believe I will not be sitting in the stands rooting for anybody. But I digress.

Just a few hours ago, the Texas Rangers opened up a can of whoop a put a shellacking on the Baltimore Orioles, killing the Orioles' confidence for maybe the next season or two by beating them 30-3 in their own home. I had to check out the box score on this one. This game was actually rained out on Monday - good thing, too, no need to make Monday worse than it already is. The Orioles were actually up 3-0 through the first three innings. Apparently, some time between the 3rd and 4th inning, a collection of hollowed out, corked bats were delivered to Oriole Park, because the Rangers scored 5 runs in the 4th inning, 9 runs in the 6th inning, 10 runs in the 8th inning, and 6 runs in the 9th inning. (Good to see they got on the board in the 9th so it didn't look like they weren't trying in the odd innings.) That equals 30 runs in 4 innings. Ouch. I bet even D.C. heard the fans groan on that one.

You know how they say in the movies, "You better take a picture of this because this is the last time you're ever going to see this again"? Well, here is the picture of the last run the Orioles scored before the Rangers posed for this same picture 30 more times.

When my friend, a complete sports fanatic and baseball guru, was as shocked as I was that a team had scored 30 runs, I was actually pretty proud of myself, because that meant that I knew enough about baseball to know that 30 runs is a big deal.

How big of a deal is it, you ask? This is the ninth time that an MLB team has scored at least 30 runs, but the first time that a team has done so since 1897. No, that's not a typo. 110 years, Babe Ruth, Hank Aaron, Barry Bonds, all came and (minus Barry, for now) went and no other team has scored as many runs as the Rangers did today. I really feel for you, Baltimore, but I feel even worse for your pitchers (except this one lucky kid who managed to earn his first save of the year by pitching three scoreless innings). I hope someone is keeping an eye on them this evening. [insert crass groupie comment]. Perhaps the fact that this was a doubleheader and they only lost 9-7 in the second game helped a bit, but those weren't the same pitchers as the first game. Like I said, keep an eye on those guys.

ESPN's awesome stats team managed to pull together, in a matter of minutes, the highest scoring feats in the "Big 4" sports:

Sport	Total points	Team (vs. opponent, date)
MLB	30	Rangers (at Orioles, 8/22/07)
NFL	72	Redskins (vs. Giants, 11/27/1966)
NBA	186	Pistons (at Nuggets, 12/13/1983)
NHL	16	Canadiens (at Quebec, 3/30/1920)

First thing: What is hockey doing on this list?

Second, 72 points in a football games seems like a lot, but I'm not sure it compares to almost 200 points in a basketball game - by the Pistons against the Nuggets back in 1983. (Where was that offense against the Cavs?) I'd say this had something to do with the Western Conference's notoriously high scoring affairs, but I'm thinking this one had more to do with the Nuggets' decision to watch the game from the bench when they didn't have the ball. I would also blame it on the Rocky Mountain high altitude -- except the Nuggets were the home team, so maybe they were just Rocky Mountain high (it wasn't unusual to take a few drags during halftime back then). I did a little research because I thought this might be close to the year that the NBA adopted the 3-point shot. Sure enough, the league intro'd the 3-point line in 1980, so having the highest scoring game ever occur 3 years after they stole the idea from the ABA sounds about right.

Did anyone else notice that 3 of the 4 performances were by away teams? What's up with that? Have some pride, dagnabit!

Who's the Boss?

Today's post is quite long, but I think this topic deserved more space than I've seen it given - which is none at all.

I saw the title of this article by CNN/SI writer Peter King earlier today, and I was not happy to say the least. No, I was pissed. Why? Well if you haven't ventured over there, here is a link to Peter King's latest offering as the Monday Morning QB, entitled "A Boss Betrayed?" When I first saw the title, it was under a picture of Mike Vick, so it didn't take long to figure out who had been betrayed (Falcons' owner Arthur Blank), and who had done the betraying (Vick). Accoriding to King, Blank deserves our sympathy because he "did everything for Vick and got kicked in the groin." I didn't have to read past that line to realize that I wasn't going to like the article, but, for the sake of the blog, I kept reading.

King discussed with Blank about what he would do if he were in Blank's position. King said he'd spend $500,000 on a CIA-level background check on the next would-be-Vick to make sure the team was protected from the possibility that its investment might be lost. To which Blank replied:

"I can tell you we're going to be more thorough in looking into players before we sign them, particularly before we commit a lot of money to them,'' Blank said. "With Michael, I guess looking back now, we should have been concerned about the time he spent away from our facility. When he went home to Virginia, it's like he disappeared. It seems clear now that Michael had a secret life we didn't know about.''

I'll come back to this.

Next, King suggests that Blank should encourage players to stay in Atlanta year-round so that they can in essence keep an eye on them. He adds that the:

Vick story has driven home a point to him that when players leave town, they're sometimes back in the surroundings that led to trouble before they became pros. It's almost for their own good, in many cases (and certainly, as it turns out, it would have been good in this case) that some players cut ties with their past.

I'll come back to this, too.

Then King concluded with this:

The only thing left is for the Falcons, sometime in the next few days, most likely, to forever cut their ties with Vick. "Will you cut Michael Vick whenever this plea deal happens?'' I asked.

"That is unanswerable right now,'' he said.

No, it's very answerable. I think we all know that.

One last point. After the game, I asked rookie coach Bobby Petrino about his philosophy in handling the Vick story with his team.

"When you have a crisis involving one of your players, and this certainly is a crisis, I believe you do three things,'' he said. "You mourn properly, you do something positive for someone deeply affected by the crisis -- someone like Mr. Blank -- then you get back to putting your energies into what was important before the crisis. That's what we've done.''

Nice point by Petrino. I have a feeling it's not much of a Band-Aid for the bloody gash Vick has inflicted, though.

Ok, now it's my turn. It's bad enough that the NFL uses these guys, never giving two sh a hoot about them or where they come from or what they do until something goes wrong, and then they throw them under the bus and sever all ties forever. Then the owners cry woe is me for having believed in this guy and done everything he could. "We should have known, we shouldn't have picked this guy . . . if we had known, we would have thrown him back into the situation he came from. "

Yeah, I'm not buying it. This is the #1 draft pick who had one of the (if not "the") best selling football jersey around the world, one of the most popular and marketable players in the NFL despite his inconsistent (admit it, Falcons fans) performance since he entered the league in 2001, who went from the projects in Newport News, VA (aka "Bad News") to a multi-millionaire in a relatively short period of time. The same guy who could throw a ball clear across a football field (was that real?) . . . and you want us to believe that you actually took an interest in mentoring him or seeking help for this guy when you knew he had some issues even from the very beginning? If you believe that, then why don't you join ex-FEMA director Mike Brown as he spearheads the effort to help the people in New Orleans recover from Hurricane Katrina (just went there and they are still just beginning to recover) ? What's that you say? He hasn't been seen or heard from, at all much less in New Orleans, since he botched the relief effort? Oh.

Plenty of people who are far less "important" than Vick (in the NFL'$ eye$) walk around here with issues and have problems adjusting to a different environment and no one says anything to them. Rather than anyone trying to ease his transition from Bad News to "Good News" (HA!), and actually caring about Mike Vick and [insert names of any other "disappointing" NFLers] we stick them in an environment in which they are destined to fail, throw "opportunity" at them, and then wonder why they can't get it together.

Ok, why can't they? For starters, it is highly likely that our player's - whom I'll call "Superstar" - friends and family are/were still living in Bad News when Superstar "made it out" of wherever he came from. You tell Superstar to associate with better friends now that he has money . . . but people are constantly trying to erode every dollar Superstar takes in, so he trusts the people he's known his whole life, not these new "friends" - as well he should, IMO. But his "boys" from home are seeing dollar signs just like the NFL sees. They may even be jealous of our Superstar, and as close as they may be to him, they resent that they didn't make it like he did. They don't feel bad when they exploit him because, well, that's what friends are for. He makes it, we all make it. Superstar probably had several bumps along the way to his professional career, but no one says anything because he's performing, and that's all we want him to do.

That is, until he makes "the big mistake." Superstar and his friends get into trouble. Had this trouble occurred when Superstar was not, well, Superstar, nobody outside of the neighborhood would have cared, and everyone involved would have probably gone to jail. But wait! Hold on! Superstar was involved in this trouble! Now why would he do that? He had so much money, so much opportunity - why would he do this to himself?

Well, the answer is that he had some help. I can tell you the exact moment the problem began. It started the first time someone looked the other way when he did something inappropriate because he was a "freakish" athlete with "freakish upside potential." Anyone who is judging Mike Vick and calling him anything but his name for ruining his opportunities is being shortsighted. It is just as important to be in a position to take advantage of that opportunity as it is to have it in the first place. Can Arthur Blank and any other coach, athletic director, etc. who encountered Mike Vick truly look himself (or herself, but this is football we're talking about) in the mirror and say that he tried to help that kid take advantage of the opportunity that he had in his grasp?

King's perspective infuriates me for its shortsightedness. Tracking a grown man during the off-season and encouraging him to stay in the city where he plays is not the solution. Neither is paying anyone $500,000 to do a background search on the next prospect? What happens when the search turns up that the prospect - gasp! - grew up in the 'hood? "Good thing we found that out beforehand!"

King's article is nothing but a shameless attempt to absolve Arthur Blank (the man with the money, as King reminds us) from any blame whatsoever in this Vick debacle. Blank even uses the old standby of "copping" to having flaws that aren't really considered flaws (i.e., loving someone too much). Give me a break. You cannot green-light everything your player does, admit that you had no clue what he did in the off-season (which, incidentally, is twice as long as the "on-season"), and then turn on him when it's seemingly safe to do so.

I'll close with this excerpt from this article I found when I was looking for images of Arthur Blank. The article is ironically entitled "The Most Respected CEO," but what I found even more ironic is this quote from Blank himself, after comments regarding how he wooed Warrick Dunn:

In an era of absentee owners and - worse - meddling egocentric tyrants like Al Davis of the Oakland Raiders and George Steinbrenner of the New York Yankees, Blank has become involved in a deeply personal way. "I really am interested in each one of these fellas," he says. "Personally and professionally, in their families and their kids and their interests and their foundations, and how we can help them with their life's work. I care for them. I suffer when they're injured. I wish our fans could be down on the field and see these guys. They go to the locker room and I see the blood, see the throwing up, see the pain. And what you see on the inside is worse. They've laid it on the line for themselves and for their teammates and for the city. It's not about money. They play with a tremendous amount of pride. It's a huge commitment they've made. I came in the day after our last game [a loss at Philadelphia in the playoffs] to say goodbye. I gave 'em each a hug and told them thank you for what you've done for this city; you've turned this community around, made them feel connected again; told 'em I wish there were four-and-a-half million people who could be in this room and give you a collective hug. It's all about caring."

I couldn't agree with you more, Mr. Blank. I would just appreciate it if you would actually practice what you preach.

Race Car Driving is Not a Sport . . . yeah, I said it

So for my first official post, I thought I would give you a list of activities that I consider to be a sport. For a definition, I turned to the trusty Answer.com, which offered this among the many definitions:

"An activity involving physical exertion and skill that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often undertaken competitively."

Note the phrase "physical exertion." I know that some of you may disagree and that is fine. You may even go on Answers.com and see that the first definition says only "physical activity." Nevertheless, the following is my not-so-exhaustive list, in no particular order, of some activities that I consider to be sports:

Sports

1. Basketball
2. Jai alai
3. Baseball
4. Football
5. Tennis
6. Boxing
7. Soccer
8. Hockey (Yep, few cared when it was gone a year but it's still a sport)
9. Track & field
10. Golf* - ONLY thanks to Tiger Woo

* But as long as people like this are playing, too, it's always going to be fringe in my eyes.


Whether or not the above sports will appear on Pleats 'n Cleats (i.e., does anyone care who's the next Carl Lewis?) is another question, but suffice it to say they made the list. What did not make the list? These are activities that involve skill, but just because you get a winner and a loser doesn't make it a sport. They are:

NOT Sports

1. Race car driving (If something really eventful happens, I MAY mention it)
2. Bowling
3. Poker
4. Fishing
5. Iditarod (maybe for the dogs, not the people chillin' on those sleighs)
6. Hunting or shooting at anything, especially clay pigeons
7. Billiards
8. Bocce ball
9. Spelling bees
10. Eating competitions

I believe what all these non-sports have in common is that sweating - and therefore, physical exertion - is due to lighting, outside temperature and/or pressure/nervousness, and not in any way related to the activity itself. Let me know if you have any others to add to this list.

Someone has already taken me to task for race car driving, saying that NASCAR and that other league are popular. I said, "Well, so is the circus." Also not a sport.

Remember: Just because you see it on ESPN doesn't mean it's a sport!