Running Down Weird Al

Jumping right in:



1. I'm calling this "He's not who I thought he was." (Thank you, Denny Green). The Al Davis (aka Oakland) Raiders will have a new coach, per Mr. Davis himself:

You have to watch the rest of the press conference because this guy is a trip. Among other claims, Davis says that now-former coach Lane Kiffin was trying to lose and was looking for other jobs. (Can he blame him?) And he's not trying to pay Kiffin the remainder of his salary (hence the "for cause" pronouncement from Davis, for all you non-legal types). Kiffin was none too pleased by what amounted to a public shaming of Kiffin by Davis. And like the other two bottom-feeder teams (Lions and Rams) that have shaken things up in the past week, they're probably not going to change much anytime soon. Hey, at least these teams are acting like they care. But the Raiders are now on their fifth coach in almost as many years, and I don't think many people believe Al Davis really cares about much more than Al Davis. I won't stoop so low as other folks who are wishing death upon the man, but Davis might consider loosening that vice grip so people will start taking his team seriously . . . but he won't, so I won't argue with him.

2. Speaking of shake ups, Marc Bulger is a happier man after being restored to starting QB of the St. Louis Rams by new coach Jim Haslett. Trent Green might not like this move, but he should really be ecstatic that he's been spared from the sieve-like Rams offensive line. As Dan Quayle once said, "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." Look at this as a blessing in disguise, Trent.

3. Warren "Twinkle Toes" Sapp is on Dancing with the Stars this season. Check out his paso doble:

I have new found respect for extremely large football players. I am absolutely amazed at how huge and light on his toes he is - awesome footwork. I'm not sure about those Matrix costumes, though.

4. Ricky Williams has a problem. The Miami Dolphins had a bye week, which left Ricky with nothing to do. He thought to himself "I'm free, what can I do?" While you and I may have considered running errands, returning phone calls, or maybe spending time with friends or family, Ricky wanted to use his freedom to smoke weed. But he didn't, not because it's illegal, but because if he does, he will not get another chance in the NFL. (Why he decided to share this is anyone's guess, but it's Ricky, he does that.) But then you go on to read that he gets 9 random drug tests every month. That's more than twice a week of people showing up at your door at various times of the day. So I guess they don't really believe you'd stop smoking on your own, Ricky. And he says that he'd be lying if he said he wasn't going to smoke weed when he's done with the NFL (let's hope that means retired by choice and not by force). This guy . . .

5. One basketball story: An avid Pleats 'n Cleats reader passed along this story about University of Wisconsin basketball player, Marcus Landry, who is married with two kids, and still makes time for school. His wife also played college basketball, but at Marquette University. Landry's not just a father, he's also a "dad" to his two little ones, tucking them in at night and bringing his son to team meetings. Although it shouldn't be a big deal when a man like Landry takes care of his responsibilities, the reality is that this kind of maturity is exemplary, especially in the demanding college basketball setting. His kids will certainly thank him for it. It's stories like this that raise the bar for everyone else. Love it.