Ain't Nobody Jumpin' Around . . . Ok. So I am.

Besides losing to the Minnesota Vikings on Monday Night Football, the man sometimes known as Kim Kardasshian's better half had an excellent night. New Orleans' Saints running back Reggie Bush scored on two punt returns, becoming just the 12th man to ever do so.

After watching this game, I have a better appreciation for the fine line between a nice hit and a terrible one. The helmet-to-helmet rule is kind of tough to decipher because slo-mo doesn't always tell the real story. I think the only real difference is whether the "hittee" walks off the field.

The Vikings' own Speedy Gonzalez, Adrian "A.P." Peterson, was pretty quiet tonight, and somewhere, some grown man lost the weekly pool because of it. But the Vikings pulled it out, and that's all that matters. Is it just me or did it look like Reggie Bush was about to cry? They did show a vignette in which Bush said he was trying to focus on football only (read: the real reason Kim decided to do Dancing with the Stars) and stay out of the limelight. I felt for him when he said that he had expected to be one of the top running backs in the league, and decided to get serious. So I'm sure it was particularly frustrating to lose despite his good game. But it was a close one, and the Vikings needed this one to avoid "basement" synonyms. If Bush continues to stay focused (read: makes Kim do another reality show) then I think he has a good shot of achieving his goals.

I only posted the above pic because I want to remind him of pictures we should never, ever see again. Ever. I would, however, like to see him attain those other goals of his. . .

In other news:

How bad do you have to act up to get arrested at a wedding as a member of the wedding party? It would seem to me that if you're in the wedding, you might make an extra effort not to ruin the wedding of your good friend or family member. I'm going to assume alcohol was intimately involved, but there is drinking at a lot of weddings, and these people aren't in their early-20's.

That's the situation facing Houston Astros' pitcher Brandon Backe, who is 30 years old. Cops say they punched him in the face twice before they were able to arrest him after he allegedly refused to back away from a fight. Now, I'm not one to blindly side with the po-po, but I have to assume Backe was out of line. My favorite part of this story is the description of the other people who were involved in the fracas: the bride's father, 19-year old brother, and a FEMA director. I am cracking myself wondering what the FEMA connection could possibly be . . . being inept has never gotten George Bush jumped, so I don't get it . . .


More athletes with legal troubles: Lawrence Phillips once had a job in the NFL as a running back, but now he's looking at ten years behind bars for deliberately running down a group of teenagers after they beat him in a game of pickup football. He also alleged they stole some of his belongings. This wasn't Phillips first sign of trouble. He had previously picked up a domestic abuse charge for striking a woman he was dating at a hotel. During his brief stints in the NFL, he was dismissed once by each of the St. Louis Rams and San Francisco 49ers for insubordination and missing a practice, respectively. . . and then they just turned him loose without any guidance. He played at the University of Nebraska, football country, so he likely had some of his previous indiscretions overlooked for the sake of his talent at a big program. How many more times do we have to watch guys go down like this before we start nipping this stuff early? Sad.



Dancing with the Stars contestant and gold medal volleyball player Misty May-Treanor's dancing days are officially over after the tore her Achilles during dance rehearsals last Friday. I don't even know how you tear an Achilles while you're dancing, especially when you spring out of the sand barefoot all day. I guess that's the epitome of dancing too aggressively, for which the Dancing with the Stars judges had often criticized her. What a terrible feeling to be a professional athlete and ruining your career on a dalliance like dancing. Hopefully, this won't permanently sidetrack her career. I'd also consider sticking to barefoot dancing from here on out if I were her.

This is just such a random "sport."



Kimbo Slice lost his first mixed martial arts (MMA) fight. Now, I swear just a few days ago, they were saying this guy doesn't know anything about MMA, but you couldn't tell by these commentators, calling the fight "the most incredible victory in the history of mixed martial arts."

Another gem: "If you have a dream . . . if you're willing to step into a cage and fight for your life, you . . . can be anything you want!" I may have to start using this as my personal quote.

I don't know much about MMA, but this looks about as real as "rasslin'." (That's "wrestling" for all you northern types). Kimbo lost to a last second replacement - really. The guy he was supposed to fight had to pull out with a cut over his eye just hours before it was scheduled to go down. So Kimbo ended up fighting a guy who probably knows him well but about whom Kimbo knew nothing, not even his name. Still, no excuse for losing in 14 seconds. Although, I wonder if he decided to just throw it instead of getting seriously injured by someone he didn't know. He probably still got paid the same amount, it just wasn't worth the risk. And it wasn't really a competition, so he can do a re-match, kill this guy (not literally, MMA fans, geez), and then re-gain his status. Smart man. (And if this was not the plan, I expect some kind of remuneration for my strategy.)