Barkley: Thomas is "As Safe As Me In A Room Full of Cookies"

Isiah Thomas will probably be out of a job by the weekend. Tonight on TNT's broadcast of the New York Knicks vs. Boston Celtics, Ernie Johnson asked Charles Barkley whether he thought Thomas' job was safe. After some hemming and hawing, Barkley finally answered:

"He's about as safe as me in a roomful of cookies."

In other words, not safe at all. (If you are looking for a great sound byte on a topic, Barkley never fails to disappoint.)

Forget the rumors and conjecture. I watched their "game" - if you can call it that - Thursday night against the Boston Celtics. Granted, I caught the second half, but I saw more than I needed to come to the conclusion that this team with Zeke is hopeless.

At halftime, they were down by 23, but they managed to score 28 points in the entire second half - that's for the entire team, not one player. In fact, only one player - Nate Robinson - scored in double digits (more on that later). The field goals made vs. missed for the starters looked more like dates at the beginning of the year: 1-10, 2-4, 2-11, 3-12, 4-8. Not going to get too far with that one.

By the start of the 4th quarter, the score was 41 to 82, after the Knicks scored a whopping 10 points in the 3rd quarter. Bostons starters sat out almost the entire second half. In the waning seconds of the 4th quarter, the Knicks somehow managed to get up to 56 in mostly garbage time since they were down 40 throughout the quarter, and were on track to set a record for the least amount of points in Knicks history (58). Then, with two seconds left on the clock, Robinson launched a shot from just inside half court that sank at the buzzer, giving them their final total of 59 points. And this was the shot that made him the only double digits scorer for the Knicks and saved the team from an otherwise record-setting loss - a record no one wants to have.

No doubt, though, that the game was still historic because it was probably one of the saddest displays of basketball that I have ever seen in the NBA. This looked like the early non-conference college basketball games between a Division I powerhouse and a Division II weakling. But as well as the Celtics played (they destroyed them in the lane, on both ends of the floor), the Knicks didn't even look like they were trying. They literally just quit playing. If you saw the game, then you know what I'm talking about. You could see it in their faces. Some guys were shaking their heads on the bench at the spectacle, but most of them just seemed to be saying "who cares?"

Not surprisingly, Zeke's face was actually the saddest throughout the game. He looked completely lost in thought with his eyes glazed over, alternately smirking or smiling, watching his team (and thus his position with the Knicks) go up in flames. His players seemed more smug because they feel certain that they aren't going anywhere, knowing their coach will likely take the fall for this one.

After the game, when Zeke was asked whether he was embarrassed, he responded "we're all embarrassed." Marbury and They may all be embarrassed, but only one of them is likely going anywhere.

When Kevin Garnett was asked after the game what he thought of the Knicks effort, he said that he had played with Stephon Marbury and this did not look like the same Marbury that he knew then. When asked if he thought they had quit, he suggested that guys don't just quit, something has to make them quit.

Hmm. Now what kind of "something" could he be talking about? The end result is that the team just up and quits on Zeke, which, if it continues in their game tomorrow, will in essence force the owners to fire him. In the process, the team embarrassed themselves and their city by putting forth no effort, and making Zeke look like a fool.

The truth is that this team without Zeke may be just as bad as they were with him. If whoever comes in next is able to right this ship, I will be shocked. Larry Brown couldn't do it, Zeke couldn't do it. Maybe the solution calls for something more drastic . . .

like disbanding the Knicks and sending their players to other teams. Just a thought.

Living Like A Star

(The following post is long enough to be the only one for today. Your comments are welcome and encouraged.)

The death of Sean Taylor has been discussed at length over the past few days. They're saying that this looks like a random, failed burglary attempt, but I don't know if I believe that (and they could well be lying in order to make the culprit(s) get his/their guard down). The bottom line is that, regardless of who killed him and why, Taylor not only died senselessly, but he died trying to protect his family. I don't have to tell you that this is a very sad occurrence, for so many reasons.

I read an interesting article by Mike Wilbon in the Washington Post entitled Dying Young, Black, which discusses the implications of the Taylor situation.

Unfortunately, what happened to Taylor (the incident itself, not necessarily the end result) is not necessarily unique. If you've perused any of the Taylor stories by several prominent African-American sports writers, you may have seen the names of other athletes who have found themselves literally caught in the cross-fire, such as Eddy Curry, Antoine Walker, or Julius Hodge, Jerome McDougle, and even more recently, the death of Darrent Williams.

Williams' death occurred on New Year's Day 2007, when he was gunned down in a drive-by shooting following the birthday party of Denver Nuggets player Kenyon Martin. The shooting stemmed from an altercation that had occurred previously. Williams was not involved in the altercation but he is the only one who paid the ultimate price.

I found myself extremely saddened when that happened, and I hadn't even heard of him before he died. To me, it's always sad to see a young life snuffed out in an instant, particularly for something that is not nor could ever be as serious as death.

Now, some people may take issue with my discussion of race here, but I would ask those people how many white, professional athletes do they know who have been robbed at gunpoint, shot and/or killed, or are even going to jail for misdeeds? Not too many. Race is intertwined in the issue. I think we have to call a spade a spade here.

The truth is that young, rich, successful African-American athletes are a rare commodity in this society. Sure, we see them on TV everyday, but for every one of them who's in a professional league, there are millions of others who did not make it - of all races. Those who are jealous. Those who want nothing more than to bring that man down, and don't value themselves enough not to take from those who have more than them.

And it's not just about the tangible things that these athletes, the "stars," have, it's the having "it all" that these have-nots, the "dream snatchers," can't stand. The dream snatchers feel that they are somehow lesser just because these stars exist. The dream snatchers feel that because they aren't "in the league," and they don't "have it all," somewhere, deep down, they are entitled to literally take away these dreams.

In his article, Wilbon discusses what he wishes Taylor had done, and what I, in retrospect of course, wish Taylor had done, in light of the conflict between stars and dream snatchers: left his home behind.

A man's home is no doubt vitally important to him, and it is this import that is the subject of numerous quotes, adages, and the like. Where he comes from is the essence of who he is, and serves as a measure of what he has been through to get where he is today.

In the African-American community, though, staying true to one's home has a much deeper significance. It's important to "be real," to "keep it real." As the Notorious B.I.G. infamously once said, "I'm blowin' up like you thought I would, call the crib, same number, same hood. It's all good." The message is clear that it's important to remain true to your roots.

But like most things, this mentality also has its downside. I was discussing Dave Chappelle's sketch about "when keeping it real goes wrong" with a friend earlier today. I was saying that we all laughed when we saw it, but in actuality, it is both funny and sad because it's true.

Let me be clear that there is absolutely nothing wrong with showing love for your hometown. Some things (and people) are just better loved from afar. Just because you're from there doesn't necessarily mean you should stay there when you do "blow up."

Just as I was writing this, I was forwarded crowd favorite Jason Whitlock's view on this situation. Weeding through his journalistic grandstanding ("black KKK"), and putting aside his ultimate conclusion, the man's piece looks markedly similar to what I just wrote above (if I had published this already, I might accuse of him of reading my blog. Ha.) . He expands the concept to African-American men as a whole rather than just athletes, and I certainly agree. I think what I said applies to any "star" on any level, in any "league" that matters to the dream snatchers (usually, making money or the appearance of doing so).

But, I think everything happens for a reason, and the fact that he was a professional athlete will speak to others who identify with him, whereas other situations may not hit home as hard for the people who need to hear it. So, for example, while a number of people have been involved in nightclub shootings, when Pacman Jones got in trouble, those NFL players who were "partying" like he was definitely took notice.

And my concern is not so much with any "unsavory" characters that Taylor wouldn't leave behind (according to Whitlock) as it is with the fact that he remained in an unsafe situation.

According to one of his numerous former college teammates now in the NFL (but apparently also one of his closer friends) Antrel Rolle of the Arizona Cardinals, Taylor had been a target in Miami for many years, and he lived in fear.

Now, he undoubtedly had legitimate reasons why he did not want to leave Miami, and no one can say for sure what he or she would have done in the same situation. If what Rolle said is true, then hopefully this serves as a warning to others like Taylor that it is just not safe to live in the general population, around the people you've known all your life, when you "have" and others do not. This is not to suggest that he lived in a bad neighborhood, because he certainly did not, but he apparently lived in an "accessible" dwelling, and therein lies the problem.

The harsh reality is that if you become a "star," you must give up some things that the ordinary man or woman do not, including the use of ordinary means to protect yourself and the ones you love. As long as there are jealous people, then stars will have to behave like stars to some extent, and there is really no way to avoid it.

It is sad that you cannot just "keep it real" and live like a normal person, but it is even sadder when the dream snatchers accomplish what they set out to do.

Michael Vick, I hope you're watching. You still have a chance.

Rundown from the Run-Down

I've been a little under the weather, so here's a snippet of today's stories:

• The Cleveland Cavaliers handed the Boston Celtics their second loss of the season. The only two free throws that Ray Allen (88% FT shooter) missed came when the Celts were in a position to seal the game. LeBron James and Kevin Garnett exchanged some words near the end. You mean everyone doesn't love LeBron?

• Michael Vick is set to stand trial in April on state charges for dogfighting. A plea deal is expected to be reached, so no April circus. 12 more days until we find out how long he'll be in jail on the federal charges.
• Race car driver Helio Castroneves beat out Mel "Scary Spice" Brown for the Dancing with the Stars title. Floyd Mayweather was scheduled to dance during the finale but pulled out due to an anke injury. Right. He's just trying to get ready for that fight he joined the show to promote. December 8th. Pay-per-view. (Yes, the advertising did work.)

R.I.P. Sean Taylor.

UPDATE #2: It's A Wrap, Ricky

Well, don't call it a comeback.

Ricky Williams is done before he gets started. Out for the "season" with a torn pectoral muscle.

What a letdown. All this hype to have it end so quickly and like this.

Better luck next year!

Update: Taylor Dies From His Injuries

Updating the Sean Taylor story, unfortunately he passed away this morning, a day following being shot in the leg allegedly by an intruder.

This one really hurt to hear this morning. Another young, talented man taken away unnecessarily. Please pray for his family during this difficult time, and especially for his one-year old daughter who just lost her dad.

Mean Girls . . . Part Deux

Ricky Williams came, saw, and went, all in the same night.

If anyone was watching the mucky mess that was Monday Night Football, then you, too, witnessed the return of Ricky Williams to the Miami Dolphins despite having tested positive several (ok, 4) times for marijuana.

Perhaps you also saw the second quarter when Pittsburgh Steelers' linebacker Lawrence Timmons step on Williams' shoulder as he was attempting to go after a fumble. Out went Williams, never to return again.

If you watch the replay (which I will post as soon as it becomes available), you can see Timmons' foot turns unnaturally out to the side and steps down on Williams' shoulder, even though the natural movement would have been to step with his foot facing straight ahead, thereby avoiding Williams' shoulder altogether. The official word is that he injured his pectoral muscle.

That was just cruel. Here's this guy who obviously has a problem - I say obviously because if the league and the teams thought he was just a weedhead, he would not be returning to the NFL - and you're just going to purposely try to injure him after the play is over? I don't say this often, maybe ever, but I really think the league should review this and fine him. It looked that blatant.

The Dolphins are bad enough as it is. On Monday night, they lose two more running backs to injury (Williams and Jesse Chatman), to add to their already depleted roster, and they just looked defeated. I really feel bad for them. It can't be fun to be in that locker room week after week.

The Steelers weren't doing much of anything themselves on that nasty field (the Steelers won the spectacular game 3-0), but no need to add insult to injury - literally.

Perhaps the NFL should also take some flak for letting the players play in such a mess and risk injury in the first place. Steelers' QB Ben Roethlisberger called it the worse conditions that he has ever played in, and I think he was telling the truth. I actually saw a punt land in the field. Didn't bounce, didn't roll. Just landed, like he'd kicked a javelin. It's too easy to get hurt just playing the game without having to worry about the playing surface.

Stinging Their Opponents . . . and Stung By Their Fans

The New Orleans Hornets are off to their best start ever, but that has not translated into high attendance at their games.

Apparently, they just can't get enough butts in the seats to watch their games against sorry and half way decent teams. They had their biggest attendance of the year at a San Antonio Spurs game with attendance of 15,297, which exceeded their opening night game by about 100 tickets, but they haven't had any sellouts. But when the Philadelphia 76ers came to town, only 8,302 people showed up. A sellout would be 18,000. And that's with the availability of $10 seats. Ouch.

These numbers are lower than they were even when they actually did suck. Well, New Orleans, these are the breaks when you have years of losing, especially when you move from another city where the team was not so great, either. You're just not going to get a good crowd unless you a) have some "NBA superstars"; b) play in a huge market; or c) are playing a team with "NBA superstars." Let me explain.

NBA superstars are ones that may or may not be tops in the league, but they are usually among the most well-known players; players that you're likely to see at the All-Star game.

Hornets' point guard Chris Paul may be one of the most underrated players in the entire NBA. He's averaging over 17 points and 10 assists per game - a double-double - and he's a lot of the reason why the Hornets are off to a 10-4 start.

But he's no Kobe Bryant. No Dwyane Wade. Not even Kevin Garnett. So he's not going to put Kobe or Wade numbers (i.e., fans) in the arena, not even on his home floor. But if the Hornets make a solid run this year, I expect that to change.

Also, New Orleans is just not a major market. Not only is New Orleans still recovering from Hurricane Katrina, but the Hornets are still the relative new guys in town, having moved from Charlotte in 2002. They have also played away from home in Oklahoma City for the past two years because of Katrina.

Given the NBA superstar and market issues the Hornets face, it's no surprise that games against teams that also lack NBA superstars are going to be low-turnout affairs. With situations like these, the mini-packages, which include the not so popular games, are a great idea that almost all teams have developed to get attendance up at games against poor opponents. (Hopefully they've already exhausted the possibilities of tie-ins and giveaways.)

So, Hornets fans, take heart. I know you're not getting the attention of the Boston Celtics or the respect of the Spurs, and the truth is that you may never get that fanfare. But I say control what you can control. If the players do their part on the floor, the fans will come eventually.

Just keep being good. And if you take out the Celtics along the way . . . even better.

Yes, Vacancies

If you've been on the site for any amount of time, then you know I don't typically do college football stories.

That's mainly because I don't usually have too much to add that you couldn't already find on ESPN.

Today, though, I was intrigued by the number of college coaching positions that have suddenly opened up (voluntarily or otherwise):

Houston Nutt (pictured above - but not a mascot) from Arkansas

Chan Gailey from Georgia Tech

Ted Roof from Duke (yes, they have a football team)

Jeff Bower from Southern Mississippi

Bill Doba from Washington State

Joe Novak from Northern Illinios Univeristy

BUT one position has been filled: Mike Sherman was hired as head coach at Texas A&M.

I guess this is the result of all of their seasons ending last week. Add to this list the vacancy left last Monday by Lloyd Carr at Michigan and that's a lot of potential coaching positions. I might have to submit my application . . .

Not So Fast, Says Zeke

Don't look now but the New York Knicks are on a two-game winning streak after a win tonight over the Utah Jazz, which is a good win for any team much less the Knicks.

I even saw Isiah Thomas smiling on the sideline during the game. Smiling? Methinks someone was given an ultimatum and is happy he's living up to his end of the bargain - so far.

Redskins Safety Taylor Shot in His Miami Home

Whether you love or hate the Washington Redskins (I'm talking to you, Dallas Cowboys fans), anyone who has a heart would not make jokes about this, but unfortunately I have seen a few. When a man clings to life, I fail to see the humor in that.

Redskins safety Sean Taylor has had his fair share of ups and downs in his four years in the league, but he's also good, and leads the league in interceptions even though he has missed the past two games. It appears that the only reason that he was at home in Miami at the time is because he wasn't traveling with the team due to injury.

His past doings may have suggested that he was in need of a few things (including guidance), but today, he just needs your prayers. It seems that an armed man (I can only assume it's a man) broke into Taylor's home and shot him in the leg. Taylor was at home with his girlfriend and young daughter at the time. The bullet hit an artery, causing him to lose a lot of blood and making this a life-threatening wound.

The phone lines to his house were also cut, which I assume was to turn off any alarm that might have been active at the home. Apparently, he had been having trouble with break-ins prior to this incident.

I'll let you read the other details here. I just hope he pulls through and that they can get to the bottom of this. I will keep you posted.

Last Chapter of Isiah

It looks like all those "Fire Isiah" chants worked.

Word on the street is that Isiah Thomas is done as the President and head coach of the New York Knicks. No word on exactly when, but the unofficial line is sooner rather than later.

The Knicks have been underwhelming for long enough. I figured this was coming, but I thought they'd at least keep him through Christmas. I guess they want a new start in the new year with a new coach, and I can't say that I blame them. BUT if the next coach doesn't perform well, either, then they may need to look at other scapegoats for the mess that is the Knicks . . . but they may not be able to fire him . . .

I'll post more details as they become available.

MYSM: I Guess That's A No

Two lessons to help you with your Monday morning:

Lesson #1: Always, always make sure that if you're going to ask a woman to marry you in a very public way that she is going to say yes.


Will You Marry Me? - For more funny videos, click here

Lesson #2: Without the proper training, kids are a danger to themselves and to others . . . just in case you weren't aware.


It's Never Too Early To Start - Celebrity bloopers here


Happy Monday!

A Special Thanksgiving Request For A Veteran

A member of a sports writing/commenting community, ArmchairGM, where I frequently write and get feedback on the stuff you see here, needs your help.

Sometime yesterday, Andrew Godfrey's (known to us as NiteOwl049) landlord decided to be a complete and utter grinch and give him and his family 48 hours to get out of their apartment. Yup, just in time for Thanksgiving.

Well, I don't know him personally, but from what I have seen, Andrew is a great writer (click here for a smattering of his work), but more importantly, a civil person in a community where it's easy to be rude and hide behind the anonymity of the Internet.

And he served our country honorably in Vietnam and Hawaii, something a lot of us would not do. But he did it, and now he needs us to give back to him.

So if you happen to stumble upon this and know of anyone who could help him, or if you want to help him yourself, please click here on ArmchairGM's site for more information on this story.

If there is any more information (especially for those of you who want to make sure it's legit before you help), I will post it as I know it. From all indications, it is the real deal.

Your generosity on this Thanksgiving would be greatly appreciated.

Did This Picture Really Happen?

I am kind of "eh" on the Phoenix Suns, mostly because they are a good team, exciting to watch, but they have been really disappointing come playoff time.

Tonight the Suns took on the Sacramento Kings. It says they played the Kings, but I'm not sure they were actually on the floor at the same time. This is because, in the 1st quarter alone, the Suns scored . . . 47 points!

By halftime? 80 points.

The Suns ended up with 127 points, which is good because I was beginning to wonder if they were playing anyone. I found the above picture of Ron Artest trying to block Steve Nash's lay-up, so I am sort of convinced that the Kings played, but this may have just been from the second half.

Do they just not practice defense in the Western Conference? The Kings should be embarrassed.

Thank You

Thanksgiving is tomorrow, so what better time to say thank you to all of my loyal readers (I know who you are) and to all of the people checking this for the first time. I'm just getting started, but I seriously wouldn't keep doing this every day if I didn't get encouragement from all of you.

I know I have readers, but I'd love to get some more comments on here, too, so feel free to share your opinions as you see fit. I promise I won't bite.

I do nibble, though.

Just kidding. All jokes aside, thank you.

I may take the night off tonight and post tomorrow morning, so if you are seeing this on Thanksgiving Eve, then please check back tomorrow.

Have a happy and safe Thanksgiving!

If Only For One Night *

I tried to ignore this story because it seemed insignificant but at the same time very sad.

Mike Tyson has been sentenced to one day in jail and 3 years probation after he pled guilty to a misdemeanor DUI and felony possession of cocaine. He reported to jail Tuesday and should be out about the same time that you read this.

The prosecutors had asked for a year of time, but the judge said he has tried to "atone for his crimes" and accordingly was lenient with his sentence.

One day in jail is a joke, just give him the probation. This is just a waste of taxpayer resources (especially he has to be kept away from gen pop) and it has zero effect, on him or anyone else like him who has already been to prison for several years. (For me, who has never been to jail, one day would be more than enough for me!).

But on the bright side, the kid in the cell next to him who got picked for soliciting a prostitute will have a good story to tell. And some reporter will find that guy, trust me.


*My apologies to Luther Vandross for stealing his song title for this story.

Not Hard Out Here For A Pit

The Michael Vick story continues . . .

Now the feds want to take about a million bucks of Vick's assets and use it to take care of his dogs, including finding them new homes.

How many dogs is this again? 54? I don't spend more than $10-$15 every 2 or 3 weeks on my two dogs. How much could it possibly cost to care for a dog and find it a new home?

Leona Helmsley, as you may recall, left $12 million to her one dog for the duration of its life. A million bucks for the care and housing of Vick's pitbulls?

I know his dogs may have suffered, but I swear dogs nowadays really have it better than humans.

And in case anyone is interested in the jail where Vick will be held for the next few weeks until he is sent to an actual prison, an AP writer did a feature on his new digs. No weight-lifting, just running and playing basketball. But at least he gets traditional Thanksgiving dinner. That's all that really matters.

Zeke Was Just Kidding But the Joke's On Him

New York Knickerbockers coach Isiah Thomas decided that a week of good behavior warrants returning to the starting line up. That, or, Stephon Marbury has enough blackmail on Zeke that he had to do it.

Whatever the reason, Marbury started in the Knicks game Tuesday night against the Golden State Warriors.

Starbury didn't play half bad but the Knicks are terrible, and they were no match for Baron Davis and the Warriors.

Even better, the fans were booing the team for almost 3/4 of the game, and called for Isiah's head. Ok, at least calling for him to be fired.

Even with Zach Randolph, they couldn't find their rhythm.

At this rate, I say Zeke's on the chopping block by the All-Star game.

MNF Quickie: Young Shines, Receivers Look Tarnished

I didn't catch all of the Tennessee Titans v. Denver Broncos Monday Night Football game, but I saw on Sports Center that Titans receivers dropped four easy passes that could have helped them win the game. I did see their QB Vince Young's two interceptions, but he ended up with 305 yards passing, which was a career high for him.

With a good offensive line, better defensive line, and better receivers (yeah, pretty much another team), I think he'd get more credit as a good QB than he does right now. He gets some credit, but I think folks are sleeping on him. He even has a great QB name.

After the game when reporters questioned him about the dropped passes by receivers, he said that he wasn't going to stop throwing it to them just because they dropped them, and that he has confidence that they'll catch them.

Displaying confidence in teammates who obviously went a long way to help him lose this game? I like that.

Lil' Romeo's 'Got the Hook Up' (Holler If You Hear Me)*

Lil' Romeo, legally known as Percy Miller, Jr. (yeah, I'd go by Romeo, too), son of rap superstar and mogul Percy Miller, Sr., better known as Master P, has signed a letter of intent to play basketball at the University of Southern California (USC) next year. Romeo signs along with his buddy, Demar DeRozan from Compton High School. Meanwhile, Romeo attends . . . Beverly Hills High. Yeah, he's thuggin' it for sure in BH. Yes, that is an iced out Cookie Monster around his neck.

This little factoid about his posh upbringings did not go unnoticed by one ESPN.com reader:

A point guard from Beverly Hills? Did "The Fresh Prince" and Carlton sign letters of intent to play somewhere else? Uncle Phil will be relieved to get them out of the house.

Romeo is short by basketball standards (listed at 6 ft sometimes, but closer to 5'10) but he is certainly not "Carlton," can-you-lift-me-up-to-the-counter short.

And yeah, I don't know about him playing at Beverly Hills High. He probably has Steven Spielberg's kids on his team, who I'm sure direct one heck of a Christmas play, and the kid from Everybody Loves Chris, but I don't know if they are beasts on the basketball court. (Note: I totally made that up. I don't know where those kids go to high school) It was pointed out to me that the site ranking Lil' Romeo as the # 15 basketball player in the nation is a site owned by his dad. Boo. I see he put DeRozan at #1 and stuck his son a lot lower, but still in the top 20, so it wouldn't seem biased. Yeah, that didn't really work.

Why does Lil' Romeo need a scholarship? I know they don't have anything to do with financial need when it comes to sports, but this is not your ordinary kid. Surely, someone saw him on Cribs with all of his "whips" before he even had a learner's permit.

I asked someone this same question and his response was:

The USC No Limit Library that goes under construction next spring.

. . . with volumes by authors Master P, Silkk the Shocker, and C Murder. Titles include: "How You Do Dat: The Every Man's Guide to Do-It-Yourself Repairs,""Make 'Em Say Ugh: 365 Ways to Gross Out Your Co-Workers" and last but not least, the love tome, "My Wife, She Is Bout It, Bout It"

So it turns out that he's an honor student to boot. The NCAA will be happy about that since that's more important to them than athletic ability. . . (I still have that swamp land for sale if you thought that was a serious statement) Lil' Romeo had this to stay after the signing:

"This is the most important thing I've had to do and hopefully it sends a message to kids across the country that education is more important than money," Miller said at the news conference. "Getting a college scholarship is more important than winning an American Music Award, and I plan to be the best student-athlete I can be at USC."

Kudos to Lil' Romeo for recognizing his role model status. And way to keep it "real" by tying in the American Music Awards that took place the night before.

Apparently, he can actually play a little bit, as evidenced by his invite to Reebok's ABCD camp. They have enough stars going through there that I don't think they invited him unless he really had some game. His dad Percy, Sr. Master P had a few tryouts with some NBA teams back in the late '90's but never actually played a game, so maybe the apple didn't fall too far from the tree.

Here's some video of him "ballin' ":



Well, he better be able to play or else USC will become a joke. Not normally known as a basketball powerhouse, they are off to a good recruiting start with O.J. Mayo, who probably won't even be there next year to play with Lil' Romeo.

In other news, sources say that upon graduation, Mayo has chosen an endorsement deal with No Limit Clothing, will be represented by No Limit Sports Management, and will appear in a No Limit Films movie entitled "Hold the Mayo." I knew there was a catch.




* Title and chorus of one of his dad Master P's greatest hits.

Vick Spending Thanksgiving With New Neighbors

Michael Vick turned himself in to federal authorities today, several weeks ahead of his December 10th sentencing date. If you really lived in a hole, a hole without TV or internet, or you just want a refresher on my take on the whole Vick saga, click here for the Pleats 'n Cleats series, including an exclusive eyewitness account from the Vick court room the day of his plea hearing.

By reporting ahead of the holidays, I would have to assume that this is a move to show the judge that he is repentant for what he has done, but more importantly (to him) to help him come back to the NFL by next year. If he gets sentenced to under a year then he could be ready for training camp next August. This time he is spending ahead of the sentencing date will count as time served toward any sentence that he receives. It's probably better that he's spending the holidays away from his friends and family. It might be just what he needs to distance himself from bad influences and get his life back on track.

His attorneys claim that he didn't report earlier because of another violation of his bond (like last time when he tested positive for weed smoking).

I think this is a good move. It shows that he understands that he'll probably get some time and that he's not going to try to stall and delay the process. It's best for all involved if he can put all of this behind him.

This could cut both ways, though. The district court judge is not dumb so she knows what his motives are, and may not be more lenient on him because of it. But on the other hand, with the spectacle it has brought to her Richmond courtroom, she may be pleased that he is not trying to drag out the process. Especially in a jurisdiction that prides itself on the speedy resolution of cases.

I'm still taking odds that he will be back by next season, even with any NFL suspension. Any takers?

MYSM: Bad Days Worse Than Yours

This is one of the best week's of the year for most Americans because the work day ends on Wednesday. But if you are already having a bad week and Monday's not even half over, take heart that it's still not as bad as these folks. Especially the dog owner at 1:45. Or the guy whose horse makes him do the jump, too. Happy Monday!

This one is not necessarily funny but it does remind us how far video games have come since we were doing the hurdles with our hands on the Nintendo power pad. Unfortunately, I recognize a few of these "bloopers."

Rundown By the Run-Down

With the way work has been, this might just be a weekly feature.

In brief:

• By the time you read this, Lloyd Carr will probably have retired as coach of the University of Michigan Wolverines football team. I hope he left on his own terms and not just because his team put Appalachian State on the map. Literally. I know I'm not the only one who didn't know where it was before they beat Michigan.
  

• The Miami Dolphins are now 0-10, dropping to the Philadelphia Eagles without Donovan McNabb, who went down in the 2nd quarter with an ankle sprain. The '72 Dolphins went 14-0. This team may well have the complete opposite distinction. Unfortunately, this won't be a record since the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers also went an entire season without winning a game. Darn. Well since they can't break a record by winning no games at all, maybe they'll try to get one this season.

• Someone explain to me the friendship of Jessica Alba and . . . Baron Davis? Davis plays for Golden State, which is not anywhere near L.A., so I'm not sure how she made her way up there. Apparently her man is/was friends with Davis. He's also friends with Kate Hudson (?) But she was at their game on Sunday night in Golden State, seemingly by herself. "Bestest buds," they said. I bet.

• Roger Federer won the season-ending Masters Cup for the fourth time. I told you, even if he has a hiccup, he's coming through when it counts. And, oh, it counted, to the tune of a $1.2 million check and a new Mercedes CLS 500. That brings Fed to $10 million in prize money for the season. It's no $300 million, but I'd take it!

• Pretty decent day of football. I watched the Dallas Cowboys v. Washington Redskins, which is a huge rivalry that turned out to actually be a rival-worthy game. Tony Romo and the Cowboys prevailed, but the Skins had a chance to win on the last play of the game, but came up short. 4 touchdowns for T.O. . . . The New England Patriots utterly destroyed the Buffalo Bills, taking the Pats to 10-0 on the year. Tom Brady threw for almost 375 yards, and Randy Moss also had 4 touchdowns to match the other #81's total. And most importantly, I'm winning my head-to-head fantasy match-up. Mainly because I'm not playing any team that had any of the 4 guys I mentioned.

• Weird ending to the Cleveland Browns/Baltimore Ravens game. Browns' kicker Phil Dawson kicked a 51-yard field goal as time expired that the refs said was no good. That ended the game, the Ravens thinking they had won, and some players walked back to the locker rooms. One ref says they are reviewing the play. Except field goals aren't reviewable with instant replay, so, instead, they went with the opinion of one of the refs in front of the goal post who said that he saw the ball hit the backside of the cross-bar and trickle through the uprights. The good kick sent the game to overtime, where the Browns won with another field goal. The game had big implications for both teams. If this had been the Patriots instead of the Skins, people would be calling for asterisks on their perfect record. Now, we'll just never hear the end of it from Ravens fans, and that I can handle.
  

• I guess the NBA instituted the dress code because they didn't want them wearing "hip hop attire"? But towels are apparently OK. I watched the Detroit Pistons' Chauncey Billups post-game locker room interview, where he sat in only a towel and proceeded to bend forward and put lotion on the entire time he was talking. I'm glad he feels so comfortable, but at least let the man handle his ashiness first.
  

Celtics Lose :-(

. . . But Mickey wins.

Well, I hate to say I told you so (seriously, I do), so I won't, but just moments ago, the Boston Celtics dropped their first game of the season to a team that can actually play - the Orlando Magic.

Now, I won't get carried away since it was just one loss, but it was a loss to a strong team, a team that is now 9-2 to the Celtics 8-1, but you probably haven't heard too much about that from the media. Luckily, ESPN.com and NBA.com (among others) post the other teams' standings so us regular folk can know what other teams not getting media attention are doing.

The Celts were actually down by 19 at the start of the second half and came back in the second, but they came up short. They've had a few of these late rallies, but I guess that streak ended along with their perfect record. Ray Allen was 7-13 (2-8 from 3-point line), Kevin Garnett (aka "KG"), 7-17, and Paul Pierce, 10-17. All 5 starters had 3 turnovers apiece. Most of these seemingly came in the 4th quarter.

In the 4th quarter, Allen scored 11 of his 19. The other 2/3 of the Big 3 disappeared, with KG scoring only 2 points and Pierce scoring 4. KG had a good look at a 3-pointer but he missed that, too.

This is on the heels of ESPN's NBA page headline about top 3-somes in the league, with the feature photo depicting you know who. Actually, writer Marc Stein has them as the third best trio behind trios from the Spurs and the Suns, so I'll give him his propers for attempting to preserve the integrity of ESPN.

What does this loss say, if anything, about the Celtics and their chances of winning the NBA championship, the Eastern Conference Finals, their next game, the lotto . . . whatever else the media is saying they're going to win.

. . . And Some Guy Named Alex Did Something, Too

First, he upstaged the World Series by (his agent) announcing that he was going to test the free agency waters.

Well, I guess he tested the water and got a chill. Now, he has attempted to upstage another major event - the indictment of Barry Bonds. Although Bonds' indictment is not technically an MLB sanctioned event (or is it?), I am willing to bet that there will be more attention paid to this in one day than there was to all of the World Series games put together.

Back to Alex Rodriguez, whose legal name is A-Rod (not true, but it should be). He and the New York Yankees have "outlined" a deal (read: verbal but not inked) that would give him nearly $280 million over the next ten years. With an incentive to beat Bonds' home run record (or should we start calling it Hank Aaron's again?), A-Rod could get more than $300 million. Some are baffled by this turn of events, but I say that it boils down to money.

Money for A-Rod because the Yankees are one of the only teams with the cash to pay him, and the Yankees uniform brings with it tons of air time, endorsements, ladies, and all that other stuff that you think it means.

For the Yankees, they will make well over $280 million off of this guy in a Yankees uniform, so to them, they get off pretty "cheap." Now, this last statement makes sense only based on the return on investment that A-Rod brings to the Yanks . . . but ONLY from that perspective because in real people terms, that money is RIDICULOUS.

But I digress.

Well, I'm glad that this could work this out amicably. But while A-Rod may eventually beat Bonds or Aaron's home run record, he will not touch the onslaught of the Bonds/BALCO press coverage. I'm tired of writers calling everyting "-gate" (from Watergate scandal, fyi) - Spygate, Coltgate, Bengate. OK, I made that last one up, although that is a village in England. I'm calling this saga BALCO Crest, like the nighttime TV soap opera, Falcon Crest. If you see anyone else using it, remember that you heard it here first.

So A-Rod's looking at second-billing in the sports world for a little while now. Unless, perhaps, he has some secrets of his own . . .

Barry Will Need A Bond After This One

I felt I had to post on this one, although I don't have that much to add yet because I haven't read the full indictment. I promise to do that over the weekend and give a more "expert" take (ha!) on each charge.

In the meantime, the news is that after 4 years of togetherness, a federal grand jury in California finally decided on Thursday that there is enough evidence to issue an indictment against the MLB home run record-breaking San Francisco Giants player Barry Lamar Bonds.

The indictment is for four counts of perjury and one count of obstruction of justice. Several people have inquired as to what obstruction of justice means. The best way I can describe it is that it is what it is - you are being accused of obstructing justice. Yes, it is that broad. I'd call it the catch-all crime. It can involve any number of acts, typically getting in the way of some official investigation by lying, omitting, destroying evidence. Just generally getting in the way of "justice" being served.

The circumstances of Mr. Bonds indictment involve his alleged lies, omissions, etc. to federal investigators when he was under oath (perjury) and during the course of the federal investigation (obstruction) about his relationship with the Bay Area Laboratory Co-operative (better known as BALCO) and several people connected to it (most notably, trainer Greg Anderson), involving Bonds usage of and hooking up of others with steroids. Anderson was just released today after serving time for his refusal to snitch on Bonds when subpoenaed to do so (called being held in "contempt of court"). Was that a coincidence? Not clear just yet.

So now Bonds is looking at a maximum of 30 years for these four offenses. I am sure he will get nothing close to that, if any time at all, but again, let me read the indictment.

If these charges stick, expect him to be stripped of his home run record, among other things. They're saying his career is virtually over.

I tell ya. It's not the drugs that get you in trouble. It's the lying about them. Every time. Ricky Williams didn't lie about it, and now he's back playing with the Miami Dolphins.

When will they learn?

Boston Celtics: The Definition of Overrated

(WARNING: This post is long, but nothing compared to the ink that has been given to the other side of this fairy tale.)

I cannot tell you how sick and tired I am of hearing about how great the Boston Celtics are. When Bill Walton (an ex-Celtic) joked (I hope) about them going 82-0 during Wednesday night's NBA telecast, I almost e-mailed ESPN.

Before I begin, I must admit that I have never been much of a Celtics fan. It might have something to do with their location in Boston. Nothing wrong with Boston itself, but the people there are as racist as in any southern town that people think has more racism. I remember one particular visit when I was about 8 years old. While I waited in the airport for a relative to arrive, I heard two white males letting the n-word fly fast and free when referring to an African-American member of the Boston Celtics at the time. At the time, the Celtics had one of the "whitest" teams in the NBA, which was pretty much their hallmark, especially in the '80's. I was fairly young but I knew enough to be appalled by what I heard.

Then, in college, when I heard about them hanging monkey in bars in "honor" of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I knew I had had enough of Boston.

Boston's race issues are well documented, from the days when Bill Russell brought them 11 NBA titles, and there is at least one book written on the topic. Even this website that says the Celtics' racism is a myth is forced to acknowledge:

Certainly, there was--and still is, sad to say--rampant racism in Boston. When Bill Russell was helping the Celtics win unprecedented numbers of championship banners as a player and a coach, some ignorant fools--including alleged Celtics fans--called him names I won't repeat here. You've probably heard them in some context or another, and all of them were used at some point.

And that's from a writer who said it was a myth. Not only that, but the Boston press virtually ignored Russell, and he got nowhere near the attention that Larry Bird and the boys received in the '80's.

Now we come back full circle to the modern day Celtics, who are not only leading the team but are being celebrated for doing so. There's irony for you.

The hype around this team is almost deafening. People are saying they're going to go to Eastern Conference Finals, or win an NBA championship. Is that so?

And this was before the season started. Now that they're 7 games in to an 82 game season, and they've played against 6 teams (one team twice), they're the champs? Let's look at who these 7 wins have come against:

Washington, Toronto, Denver, Atlanta, New Jersey, Indiana, New Jersey again.

Of those teams, only Denver has a winning record. Two of those teams - Washington and Miami - are off to a downright atrocious start.

Their games for the rest of the month of November include Miami (1-7), Orlando (7-2), Golden State (0-6), Lakers (4-3), Charlotte (4-4), Cleveland (4-5), New York (2-5), and Miami again.

So after facing 6 teams, only one of which has a winning record, and with a pretty weak schedule for the rest of this month, we're supposed to believe that this team could . . . go . . . all . . . the . . . way?

Well, I'm sorry, I just can't get down with that. Not only are they less than 10% of the way done with the season, but they haven't even played 80% of the other teams in the league. They haven't won any championships. They haven't even been to the playoffs yet.

Individually, the so-called Big 3 have pretty weak playoff histories. To wit:

• This is Ray Allen's 11th year in the league, and he has been to the playoffs 4 times, 3 with the Milwaukee Bucks, one with Seattle Supersonics. The furthest he made it was one trip with the Bucks to the conference finals 7 years ago, losing to the Philadelphia 76ers

• Celtics Captain Paul Pierce has been in the league 9 years, been to the playoffs 4 times, all with the Celts, and made it to the conference finals in 2002, losing to the New Jersey Nets.
  

• Kevin Garnett is in his 12th year in the league, and he's been to the playoffs 8 of those years with the Minnesota Timberwolves, where they lost in the first round every year except in 2004 - their last playoff appearance - when they fell to the L.A. Lakers in the conference finals.
  

So, we have none of the Big 3 who has even been to a) the conference finals or b) the playoffs within the last three years. Not to mention that there are, like, 11 other people on the team, two of which also need to contribute to the team at all times. The playoffs have as much to do with endurance as they do with talent. You must have a solid bench or you can hang up your chances of winning any kind of ring.

Now, they do have some talent in Eddie House and Rajan Rando. And all it takes is one time to win a championship, no previous ones required. Got it.

But they haven't won anything, may not have the tools to compete deep in the playoffs, haven't played any of the real contenders, and most of the teams they have played and will play this month have at or below .500 (50% wins) records.

What if the Celtics are just last year's #1 seed Western Conference Dallas Mavericks, who performed well in the regular season only to lose to a team like the #8 seed Golden State in the first round of the playoffs?

This is not to say that the Celtics won't make it deep through the playoffs, but I think it is entirely too early to start prognosticating like we have any idea at what level this team is capable of performing. They haven't even really been tested like that. Anyone saying that they're going to "take the East," and how great a feat 7-0 is for this team is only further contributing to rating the Celtics higher than they deserve to be rated, which would make them - you guessed it - overrated.

With Kobe-watch fading out of style, I'm sure the NBA wants a story and they chose this one, but let's wait until they actually show us what they've got.

All this bandwagon jumping is getting sickening.

Wade Returns. Doesn't Really Matter

Completing the NBA trio, Wednesday night Dwyane Wade returned . . . and the Miami Heat still lost. This was probably not the return he was hoping for, but now it's official: even with his help, the Heat are scraping the bottom basement of the league.

BUT, because every cloud has a silver lining, the Heat's loss gave Kevin Durant the Seattle Supersonics his its first win as a pro of the season.

Good. We killed two potential "news" stories with one stone. One, the story of Wade's return. Two, Durant's first win.

Tomorrow, when I'm not working until 1 a.m., I hope to tackle story #3 that I wish would die out: the Boston Celtics are the . . . I can't even say it. They're a good team, but they are SO overhyped, you'd think they drafted Larry Bird out of Indiana State again.

I guess this is better than Kobe-watch. Although, I did hear a comment during the Lakers game that Kobe Bryant was rumored to be coming to the Detroit Pistons, but the deal died. The Pistons? Detroit? Chicago - I might see him there. It was good enough for Michael Jordan, it's good enough for him. But Detroit? If you don't think the city he plays for has as much to do with any potential trade as the team that plays there, you are sadly mistaken. Big markets mean big money. If he leaves L.A. for Detroit, Kobe would be playing the best basketball of his life, because at that point, you know he is really getting desperate for a ring sans Shaq, and he's serious.

But I digress, because that won't happen. What will happen is that if the Heat don't start improving with Wade on the floor (and Pat Riley threatening to put his arthritic hip in the game over his current players), this has to be the last year of Shaq and Wade.

Get your tickets, people. I see a lot of shake-ups if this season is a bust for some of the more star-studded teams.

Starbury Could Have Sent Two Kids To College

What a hoax!

The best point guard ever, as he will forever be referred to here, Stephon Marbury, aka Starbury, was fined more than $195,000 for skipping the Knicks game against the Phoenix Suns. For all that, he could have showed up and given the money to two kids to attend a good college or university. I figured I'd title this post to make Starbury look like a real bad guy. I saw an article entitled "Marbury Steals Candy from Babies and Kicks Old Ladies" earlier today, and thought to myself, "I could do better."

My guess was that the money was his proportionate to his salary for that game, and a little off the top as a fine, and - what do ya know - that is just what it turned out to be. Approximately $180,000, or 1/110th of his yearly salary, for missing a game without a reasonable excuse, per the league's collective bargaining agreement, and a $20,000 fine for skipping.

I guess "pissed off" doesn't qualify as a reasonable excuse. He is apparently appealing the fine. I swear new information comes out every half hour on this story.

THEN came reports that Isiah "Zeke" Thomas and Starbury had words on the team plane. Even possibly came to fisticuffs, but they're denying this. Now that's a fight I would pay to see. I know Zeke grew up on the rough streets of Chicago, but I don't know if he still has his jab.

What are these? Brass knuckles?

Starbury was heard in the back of the plane saying:

"Isiah has to start me," Marbury fumed, according to the source. "I've got so much (stuff) on Isiah and he knows it. He thinks he can (get) me. But I'll (get) him first. You have no idea what I know."

Ooh-ooh-ooh, threatening the coach. Who says that out loud? He has clearly been watching too much The Young & The Restless. He should be watching more One Life To Live and stop causing trouble in his.

And then had the nerve to show up for the Knicks game against the Los Angeles Clippers. Yup, much ado about nothing. The game just finished as I type, and he played 33 minutes (on the low end of the starters minutes) and had 13 points (4-12) and 4 assists. (Note: ESPN gets confused with the stats when the game ends - weren't they keeping them as the game went on?)

I guess he couldn't bear losing a half million(!) for two nights of work.

Another surprise (OK, not really), Steve Francis did something similar when he skipped the team plane to attend the Super Bowl . . . um. Not surprisingly, Stevie "Franchise" also played for the Knicks at one point in time (he is now a Houston Rocket - again).

But the bottom line is that Starbury tricked everyone and now he's back with the Knicks. Let's see how long this lasts . . . Any bets?

Phil Jackson: No 'Brokeback Mountain' On My Team

Again, looooong day at the office, so I'm going to do a little "stick and move" on the posts this evening.

Speaking of which . . . Los Angeles Lakers coach Phil Jackson, following the Lakers loss to the San Antonio Spurs, was asked "if too much penetration was leading to open outside shooters."

Now, in my opinion, this is what one might call a softball. Jackson, apparently desiring to knock it out of the park, took it as one, too, replying:

"We call this a 'Brokeback Mountain' game, because there's so much penetration and kickouts," Jackson said. "It was one of those games."

I don't think I have to explain what the movie was about since most people are vaguely familiar even if they didn't see it (myself included), but suffice it to say that it involved two homosexual cowboys who do indeed do the deed.

Surprise surprise, Jackson's comments invoked the ire of the NBA:

"The remarks are in poor taste, and the Lakers have assured us such remarks will not occur in the future," league spokesman Brian McIntyre said.

GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) also gave their official response:

"Phil Jackson's been coaching long enough that he should be able to talk about the Lakers' performance without resorting to cheap gay jokes," the statement read.

I mean, what did they expect with a question like that? I think the reporter was asking for some type of joke to be made, just maybe not the one that Jackson made.

But I think it's accurate. It's not the same if he had said, Debbie Does Dallas or some other pornographic movie. The point is that there's a bunch of men involved.

But maybe GLAAD was on to something. Jackson should be able to talk about the Lakers performance without making any jokes at all, gay or otherwise. But when it looks like a joke and plays like a joke . . . it is what it is. And if you, like me, just saw the Lakers throw a lob pass to no one )except maybe that fan ten rows up) then you, too, get the joke.

(Including that old school pic posted above. Someone ought to bring back that look.)

Don't Believe The Hype

I know it's Wednesday, but I thought at least some of you would appreciate seeing what happens when you believe you can fly . . . and you can't.

I always thought it was dangerous to let someone jump over my head. Now I have proof.

Want To Be Like Mike? Not Today, You Don't.

Michael Jordan is a single man again after his divorce settlement with wife Juanita (Jordan still?). And just what did that divorce cost his Airness?

$168,000,000.00

Yes, that's $168 million, and yes, that's a lot of money. But it could have been worse.

Amazingly, Jordan and Juanita signed a prenuptial agreement that entitled her to half of his estate, but she opted to only take 1/3. Now I don't know what the law was back in 1989 when they first got hitched, but why anyone would make an agreement to give away half of their estate (the exact reason people don't like getting married in California) is beyond me. I presume to end this as quickly and amicably as possible. From that perspective, Jordan got a deal.

Juanita's a smart woman so I'm sure she'll do something smart with the money. She gets the seven-acre estate in Chicago and custody of the chil'run.

And what do YOU have to be thankful for this holiday season?

Screw You Guys. I'm Going Home.

It seems that the best point guard ever has decided that his days might be numbered with the New York Knicks.

Stephon Marbury better known as Starbury (or Another Overpaid Player on the Knicks Roster - AOPKR), was apparently told that he wasn't starting, which he took as a sign that it was time for him to go. Yes, instead of staying in Phoenix to play with the team, AOPKR Starbury decided to take the first plane back to BK (He's from there but even with gentrification, I doubt he still lives there), and perhaps bought his ticket off the Knicks team.

Now, this is not your typical day at the office. The boss tells you that you're not his go to guy or gal, you can't just go home. Plenty of people are getting benched every day. Imagine if they just decided to go home instead of staying at work.

Even better, imagine that you sent a text message to the New York Post saying, "The boss said I could go." He apparently has no plans of going to L.A. to play the Clippers, either.

And there you have Starbury's Tuesday afternoon. Knicks coach (if you don't know whose name is next, you must be new here, and if so, welcome - and click here to get caught up!) Isiah Thomas skirted the issue, and issued his own statement that said, in not so many words (read: Zeke speak), "Get your behind on this bench next to me, or else." If this isn't the end of his stay with Knicks, it really should be.

And "his" could refer to either of the two men mentioned here. Sure, Starbury's not the easiest guy to deal with, but it might just be time to make that change in the Big Apple. Starbury is owed another $42 million(!) over the next two seasons, so no team is going to want to trade for him unless they have some equally atrocious contract on their roster or just really (like really) need a change. That means that the Knicks could end up buying out his contract, which would likely make them the proud owners - again - of the highest paid player not playing the game.

One thing is for certain: If the Knicks underperform again this year, you better get your tickets now because this will be Isiah's last year coaching the Knicks.

The Rundown From the Run-Down

Today was a long day, so here's the run down on what I might have given individual attention:

1. Poor Alex Smith. The San Francisco 49ers QB had a rough night on Monday. Literally. This guy got clobbered on almost every play. He's not terrible, but his offensive line has some issues. At least he didn't throw any interceptions . . . no touchdown passes either, but let's focus on the positive.
2. The New Jersey Nets' Vince Carter is out indefinitely with a sprained ankle. And he's on my fantasy basketball team. Maybe I ought to just give up this idea of fantasy sports. I'm inventing Fantasy Work. Among other ways, you can get points every week that someone steals your food out of the office fridge. I'm guaranteed to be in contention in that league.
3. Roger Federer lost back-to-back matches for the first time in over four years. Call me when he loses more than one Grand Slam final per year. Then we'll worry.
4. Phoenix Suns star Boris Diaw is living the American dream. Who knew athletes took pictures at pool parties? Is Diaw the NBA's Willie Beaman?

'Putting' The Sexy Back In the Game

I was surprised to see Justin Timberlake make the sports pages, but it turns out that he's been tapped (or he tapped them) to host the PGA tour event in Las Vegas in 2008.

The event will be called the "Justin Timberlake Shriners Hospitals for Children Open" and will be held the week of October 13-19, 2008.

Wow. The Justin Timberlake Open. At least he's raising money for charity. JT's apparently quite the avid golfer, and even has plans to play in a pro event one day . . . I'm going to go with don't quit your day job, but hey, if you think you can get "in sync" enough and stay in the greens (pun recognized but not intended), be all you can be, JT.

I just hope the players at this event don't think the teenage girls in the gallery are there for them.

Nope, they're not there for you guys.

Timberlake's back at the sporting events. He's actually going to perform during the week, too. I suspect this is much of the reason why the PGA thought this was a good idea.

I assume that means Janet wasn't invited?

MYSM: Crank Dat

Of the 7.5 million versions of "people" trying to do the "Soulja Boy," I think the bear may get #1 in ability. The rest of them look like the Michael Jackson's Thriller video.* Forget the mascot that looks like a Reese's peanut butter cup, all I want to know is what team has a crayon as a mascot?

Here's the North Carolina Tar Heels men's basketball team - projected to be tops in the nation - doing a few things, including cranking 'dat (jump ahead to about 9:10). I think I see Tyler Hansbrough in the background doing his best to live up to the stereotype. Nice to see these guys and the coaches having fun with the fans, though.

* Just teasing if you clicked on that link. Here's the real video. Coincidentally, the look-a-like move is also at the 9:10 mark. Greatest video of all time.

Sonic Bust: Oh and Seven

Kevin Durant may or may not be The Truth one day, but for now, he has yet to win an NBA game.

Durant and the Seattle Supersonics dropped to 0-7 after a loss to the Detroit Pistons. This is now their worst start in franchise history.

Well, buck up, Sonics fans. You got the #2 draft pick, and a pretty good player in rookie Jeff Green, but it looks like you're going to have to wait awhile for the boys to pay off in a good team. Plus, who knows how long you're going to be able to see Durant and Green if the Sonics owners get their wish.

The Sonics sucking can only build the case for taking the team to Oklahoma City, but if the owners lose their appeal and the team is forced to honor its lease, they better figure out how to make their Seattle season ticket holders happy for the next couple of years.

And an 0-7 start is not the way.

Not My Idea of A Fantasy

It was a weird Sunday in the NFL. The St. Louis Rams got their first win, the Super Bowl champs fell to a pretty mediocre team. The Cincinnati Bengals pulled out a win without scoring a touchdown. And the once on fire (for once) Detroit Lions set a record with -19 yards rushing.

But what rings the loudest to me is the sad reality that my days of winning the weekly pool may be officially over. I certainly have no shot of winning the entire league.

Yes, I'm talking about my fantasy football team. Somehow, several of my players managed to win even though they didn't do much to help their cause. One just totally choked. To wit:

LT was eh - the San Diego Chargers defense did a better job, and the Chargers' offensive line was not helping out their boy at all. But it was enough to hold off Peyton Manning and the Colts. Peyton threw 6 interceptions in maybe the worst game of his career, so I'm sure he's feeling pretty bad, too.

My QB - Carson Palmer - no touchdowns. From anyone on the team, for that matter. No, the Bengals kicker kicked SEVEN field goals and won their game for them.

My defense - the Minnesota Vikings - got blanked and managed to not only score no points but actually racked up negative points.

And, ah, my kicker. Indianapolis Colts' own Adam Vinatieri, who was supposed to be the premier kicker in the NFL. Not so. I thought he was just rushed when he missed from 42 yards at the end of the first half. But then he misses the potential game winning kick from 29 yards out, and erases the one point he had gotten earlier from an extra point.

The end result was two bagels (including my tight end), one -1, which adds up to me not winning anything.

Let's hope my fantasy basketball team fares a little better. This is depressing.

UPDATE: Vikings Have A Change Of Heart

It turns out that the Minnesota Vikings care more about their public image (and resulting loss of fans and $$) than they did about taking Troy Williamson's paycheck.

Updating my previous post, Vikings Coach Brad Childress announced to reporters today (yes, that's before their game tomorrow) that the Vikings have decided to give Williamson back the $25,000+ check they docked him for missing a week of practice and a game following the death of his grandmother who raised him.

Said Childress of the reverse of course:

"I think the important thing is everybody grieves differently. That's the thing that I learned, or we learned, in this," Childress said. "In the end, it's not important to be right, but to get it right."

Perhaps I am a little cynical, but I think the end of that quote is "so we don't lose any more fans and money." I don't like the implication that they think they are "being" right in this situation, but I'll take it.

And trying to ensure his spot as Nicest Athlete of the Year, Williamson has decided to give the check to charity in his grandmother's honor. Bravo to Williamson for making the decision to be more than just right. Having a heart counts for something, AND it will definitely win you more fans.

Take note, Vikings organization.