Rundown From the Stuffed Up

My head is stuffy today. I don't know if it's allergies or whether I'm getting sick, but I do know one thing: we're running:



1. Tragic update today on Jacksonville Jaguars offensive tackle Richard Collier. While it looks like he will live, he's going to be paralyzed from the waist down and had to have his leg amputated. He was shot 14 times. Wow. The shots to the groin apparently caused clotting which required amputation. His agent says he's down and out because he won't be able to fulfill his lifetime dream. I can't imagine how he must feel. I hope they're keeping an eye on him because this is a lot for a man of his age and potential to take. I also hope that he finds his new purpose in life, because he does have one if he can find the will to keep living. Keep your head up, Collier.


2. In other sad news, last Wednesday, the 3-month old son of Tampa Bay Buccaneers' kicker Matt Bryant, Tryson, died suddenly in his sleep. It wasn't clear if Bryant, who had kicked the winning field goal the week before, would play this past Sunday. But he flew in from the funeral and not only played in the game, his field goal put the Bucs ahead of the Green Bay Packers for good. His teammates played harder for him and he rose to the occasion. I've said before that sports are a microcosm of life. Well, sometimes, they are therapy for life. My condolences to the Bryant family.


3. In happier news, Josh Howard apologized for his actions while addressing the media on the Dallas Mavericks' first day of training camp. In apologizing for his actions from the past 5 months, Howard said "this is not the way I carry myself . . ." but I say, au contraire, mon frère! This is how you carry yourself. The trick is to not get carried away . . .


4. Terrell Owens is turning on yet another QB. Just when you thought all was rosy in T.O. Land, it turns out all is still the same. By still the same, I mean still a mess - and still screwing himself out of endorsements. Following the Cowboys loss to their arch-rival Washington Redskins, T.O. had only complaints about not getting the ball from his formerly-beloved QB Tony Romo. Somewhere, despite the Cowboys' record, Jeff Garcia and Donovan McNabb are ecstatic that they aren't in Romo's position, even if that means they don't get to [sing country music] with Jessica Simpson.


5. Somehow, in the course of one week, I missed the entire WNBA Eastern and Western Conference Finals. The finals, which start on Wednesday, will feature the Detroit Shock and the San Antonio Silver Stars (seriously, who approved that name?). I didn't, however, miss this quote from Shock coach Bill Laimbeer: "You can't win the championship unless you're in the finals, and we're there." I'll cut Bill some slack because it probably sounded better before he saw it in print. It looks like I'll have to DVR this series in order to find some mention of it. . .


6. (I considered mentioning Monday Night Football here, but other than the overtime win, and Ray Lewis' usual antics, there wasn't much to report. Nice win, Steelers.) The Detroit Lions can take solace in the fact that at least one team in the NFL may - incredibly - be worse than they are: the St. Louis Rams. After benching QB Marc Bulger, Rams coach Scott Linehan got one better than the bench. He got the boot. You know it's bad when you blow it up with 12 more games to go. Whether this will be the same script, different cast remains to be seen . . . no, it doesn't. We can clearly see that winter in the Midwest started in September.

Pleats 'n Cleats Goes to Nike Town

Just outside of Portland languishes one of the most awesome places to work. Not that I know because I work there, but just by the looks of it, it's definitely more awesome than where I work.

For instance, when I walk into my job, there's no Tiger Woods conference center. (We also have pre-historic rotary phones, but that's a story for another day.)

And neither does Tiger Woods stop by my job. There's also no running trail, no Olympic track, and no exchange like the following has ever occurred: "I work in Ken Griffey Jr. Where are you?" "I'm over at Mia Hamm." Yes, the buildings are named after Nike's favorite athletes, including Nolan Ryan, Bo Jackson, and His Airness, of course.

But here, in Beaverton, Oregon, home of Nike, you can say all that. You can also work and lunch outside. Do you know how badly I want to be able to work outside? I'd stay all day (I guess I should add "without complaining" since I already stay all day) if we could work outside.

There's even a soccer goal in front of this one:

My camera died during my visit (just playing dead, I later discovered) so these pictures don't quite capture the woodsy and serene essence of the Nike campus. In a word: beautiful. Although, to be fair, I probably went on one of the nicest days of the entire year. (What can I say, Mother Nature is my homegirl).

While on campus (as they call it), you might even run into an athlete or two (or ten) in one of the two workout facilities boasting state of the art equipment, which the employees can access for free. This place really is like a college campus, and not a small one, either. I asked if there were places to sleep but was told I'd have to go home.

Another perk: employees get 50% off in the Nike employee store. I even saw a former NBA star in there with his family (I won't ID him since he wasn't there for publicity) so I guess this place must be a really good deal (or the economy is just that bad. Or both). My "tour guide" believes we passed Phil Knight en route to the store, but I can't confirm that. It is also due to this tour guide that I have refrained from inserting a joke here. (Sometimes I wish I weren't such a nice person . . .)

Shout out to a few employees inside. First, I'd like to say thank you to the guy who helped me pick out my running shoes - the Nike Air Zoom Vomero +3. I love them. I get the feeling that he wasn't expecting to provide full-service in that setting, so I appreciate his patience - and at least I bought the shoes! And, kudos to the guy at the front counter who explained the NCAA policy forbidding student-athletes from receiving the "extra benefit" of the employee store (under certain circumstances). Since I'm a lawyer (and am not shy with my opinion on NCAA policies) I had to find the hypothetical that would make the rule not make sense, and he was ready with his lawyer-like explanation. I was impressed (and I was right)!

The only downside I could see to working at Nike is . . . nothing, really. I submitted my application to the security guard on the way out. I'm willing to work my way up . . . or jump in the path of LeBron James' car so I can get paid. Whatever it takes.

MYSM: Dancey Dance Time with Amare

Just returning from another field trip, this time to Nike Town, USA, aka Beaverton, Oregon. Pics and story to come tomorrow . . .

This means I didn't quite catch the (football) games today, but I'll catch up with everything tomorrow . . . I hope. Some surprising results, n'est-ce pas? KC and Cleveland won (the latter not quite as impressive as the former. Good for Big Herm), the Cowboys and Eagles lost (the latter to da Bears), and Brett Favre set a career high in TD passes. The fact that he's setting records that have nothing to do with his longevity is quite impressive. I guess he was feeling better. Keep it up, New Yorkians will love you. Looks like that small bet on a random team might end up a big payoff come Super Bowl time.

Happy Monday!

Amare
Uploaded by bsap11

Phoenix Suns star Amare Stoudemire is our special friend, earning him his first spot on MYSM. Hey, at least he's trying to do something for the kiddies. I can dig it!

I'm also digging the leg of the blue thing in the back who appears to be some kind of step class enthusiast. Someone tell him/her/it that's not good dribbling form.

Go crazy!!

Run Out of Town

Packing (or should be) for another weekend of adventure. And so we run:

1. I watched my second college football game this season, coincidentally involving the USC Trojans again, this time against the Oregon State University Beavers. Ok, not so coincidentally, because USC is the #1 team in the country, but, still coincidentally because I hadn't planned to watch it. Oregon State has USC's number, huh? Wow. I was looking around at some other sports blogs during the game and saw that most had pretty much dismissed Oregon State, despite last year's defeat of the Trojans. OSU (the other one) had this tiny tailback, Jacquizz (?) Rodgers who they say is 5'6" but looked to be about six inches less than that on the field. And I've seen some 5'8" guys in the NFL and this guy was nowhere near that. I'm guessing he's closer to a Prince-ly 5'4" (Rogers, ironically, is Prince's middle name). What's with short stars at Oregon schools? University of Oregon basketball player Tajuan Porter, one of the better players in the PAC-10, is also reportedly 5'6", but I think this is just an acceptable cutoff height. In any case, Rodgers, the self-proclaimed "little dude," lit up USC for 186 yards on 37 carries. Most yards on USC since . . . Vince Young in the BCS national championship game back in 2006 - another college football game I watched. His older brother and OSU wide receiver, James (why'd they do that to the younger one?), had two scores of his own. That's quite a story to tell to their kids . . . just like Al Bundy, but real. USC tried to come back in the second half, but the Beavers held off the Trojans (um . . .) for the win. Just another example of why they still play the game.

2. Kimbo Slice on PTI.

I don't know too much about his "sport" - mixed martial arts (coincidentally, I mentioned it on the blog the other day for the first time in the WNBA post) - but I am somewhat familiar with his story: homeless streetfighter on YouTube to superstardom as an ultimate fighter. What I didn't know is that he went to the University of Miami on an academic scholarship, even though he was a talented football player in high school. After watching this interview, I'm not surprised. My dad actually sent me a text last night asking me to post on Kimbo (I just can't call him Slice), but when I saw him on PTI, I realized daddy-o was right. His "five good minutes" Thursday is one of the better interviews I've seen in a while. "I'm just a little squirrel in this big world and I'm still trying to get my nut." Very regular person doing extraordinary things. Love it.

3. I'm calling this one "Knicks betta have my money!" Continuing with the video theme, Stephon Marbury and his chest decided to come out of hiding on Thursday. Starbury sat down with a local NBC affiliate to discuss all the rumors about what he will be doing (or where he will be sitting) when the Knicks season starts. He says he's not taking a penny less than the Knicks owe him (which he shouldn't, they're the ones who agreed to pick up his hefty contract when he came from the Phoenix Suns). He also says he's mentally, spiritually, and physically right . . . I'll stop my cynicism here because, say what you want about Marbury, I really do think he's a good person. He could maybe use some work on his delivery. It's a fairly long interview, but certainly one worth watching (although the difference in volume between Marbury (low) and the reporter (high "deaf") may get annoying).

4. The NFL has ruled that the Baltimore Ravens running back Willis McGahee was not intentionally gouged in the eye during the Ravens win over the Cleveland Browns last Sunday. The Ravens submitted film to the league for a determination on whether the alleged "gougings" (two times in two separate incidents) were intentional. Apparently, the films showed the opposing Browns' players reaching under the visor to poke McGahee in the eye. Now McGahee may not play due to the injury to his eyes. Eye gouging? Is this 2008 B.C. or A.D.? You don't hear that term too often these days, probably with good reason. The last time eye gouging got my attention was in fifth grade when they showed us The Birds for Halloween. I won't spoil it for you in case you haven't seen it yet - even though you've had 45 years - but all I know is I have never liked birds ever since. Hmm. Ravens = birds. Creepy.

5. Monta Ellis, the over well-paid guard for the Golden State Warriors, claimed that he got scraped up and ripped up his ankle playing basketball. Surprise! Since exactly no one has ever been injured in basketball that way, it turns out Ellis was fibbing, and he really got hurt while riding a moped. At a slow speed. Of course. If you're going to lie (which I don't condone) then at least make it make sense. He had to have known the truth would come to light at some point, so now not only did he lie, but he told a really bad lie. Of course, on the flip side, he had everything to lose. Literally. That $66 million they're paying him for the next 6 years could have gone up in smoke. Under the terms of the standard NBA contract, Ellis violated the provision covering (pardon my French) "******** up your career doing some dumb ****." Really, I quoted that verbatim. They ought to add "poor lying" to the terms, too, which should be worth at least a few extra paychecks. He's just lucky that they need him now that Baron "I make sand castles with Jessica" Davis has defected for the Sacramento Kings. Hopefully he has learned his lesson.

And I've learned mine. I need more time and sleep! Enjoy the presidential debates (if they happen) and the weekend (pretty likely to happen)!

The Cycle of Suck

(Since I first started writing this several days ago, the Detroit Lions have unloaded their 7 year itch and team president, Matt Millen, giving the fans what they want, just not exactly when they wanted it. The timing couldn't have been better for this post, though. See? Every cloud does have a silver lining. )

Several teams are still undefeated in the NFL right now . . . and a few are still waiting for that ever elusive first win. Some will continue to wait for a few more weeks. Some will wait forever.

Mainstream media loves winners. Sure, they talk about losers, but it's not usually the top story unless no winner was also involved (i.e., the Lions firing of Millen, or a story on top 10 worst teams of all time).

But you learn more from losing than you do from winning.

Continually awful teams in professional sports and the fans who love/loathe them are an interesting study in how sport really is a microcosm of life (thanks, dad). In this post, I will take a trip through the "suck cycle" and then wrap up with my two cents on why we, the fans, still stick around to its completion. I decided against giving examples so that the trip can be a personal one. Here we go . . .

There are a few characteristics that apply to just about every awful team: They make few bold moves in the off-season. They're used to being hated so they keep using unquantifiable terms like "rebuild" or "taking it one game at a time." (So when they're still "rebuilding" after 20 years, perhaps they meant waiting for good players to be born?) They ignore the boos from their fans during draft day every year when they pick a dud . . . again, and the resounding boos during the game directed at the latest asinine trade. They even ignore the protest parades through the streets where people carry dolls on sticks dressed like management (yes, that has happened).

But despite all of this, every year, the fans get excited that this will be "the year" . . . just to come to the realization that the happiest moment of the year was the night before the first game. Then, before they know it, 30 years have passed, and while we've all had our ups and downs, the team's only "up" was that hiccup when they made it to the playoffs. Maybe even the finals. That one year. Back in '89. (Or was it '98?) You also remember the entire stat line of anyone who played that game. From time to time, you might even pop in that Betamax of the game that you just knew would be a collector's item when they finally won . . . but you're still waiting.

The "awful" process also tends to follow a familiar pattern:

In the beginning, when they first start stinking, the players individually get the blame - no offense, weak defense, too many turnovers/penalties, off-court/field knuckleheadism, etc. The player's stock may begin to drop at this point unless his individual numbers are at or near the top of the league.

Then, inevitably, the losing continues, perhaps an entire season or more, even though some of the key players have changed. All it takes is one player whom we once considered to be good to come to the team and fail. "It can't be just the players," we say. "Let's keep looking up the chain. The coach. It must be his fault."

But then, that well-respected coach comes to town and he can't turn it around either. Frustration increases, and we're in denial, because we know if player and coach were legit, the fight to get to "good" may be out of our hands. Sadly, that can only mean one thing: the crap is systemic. If a player or a coach sucks, and the fans are behind it, then management probably sees it, too, and acts accordingly. But when blame has made its way up to management level, then we know we're battling an owner who could well be immune to the wants of the people if s/he/they is/are getting paid (read: really paid) regardless of the team's performance. I'm really sitting on my hands here not to provide examples, but I'm keeping my word . . . (And by the way, any time the casual fan knows management by name, rest assured you have yourselves a crappy team.)

And so the "Fire ______!" chant goes on, because if we've gotten this far, then dagnabit, we're not stopping until we get a response. Even if responding wouldn't immediately help the team, we'll take anything because nothing is worse than doing nothing at all. And sometimes, when we least expect it, many years after the first tear was shed, the owner responds and fires management.

An interesting phenomenon occurs when management is the scapegoat: The players can pretty much crap (literally) on the field and we wouldn't care. Of course, we'd complain, but that would just take us right back to how poor management is. I can't imagine this is good for the psychology of the player, though. It has to make them worse off in the long run, even if they would have been decent had they never been sent to this black hole of a team. Maybe that's what happened to [insert name of once-thought good player who came to the team and never recovered.]. On second thought, no, [insert name of QB player who recently lost a job in the NFL] really is that bad.

But what happens if the new management never picks winners? While we like to think there is some science to this, the truth is, every draft and every trade involves a gamble, and hindsight is always 20/20. If the streak of no winners continues for years, then does that mean it's time for a new owner, and if so, do we publicly campaign to force the sell?

Alas, even when we think we've gotten what we wanted (i.e. old management is gone), we come to another sad realization: there is no clear cut solution to what ails the team. We can track what past teams have done and say that's what needs to be done, but I think good results are more of a "perfect storm" than a "perfect science." As I've said in the past, winning covers up a multitude of sins.

When the team is that bad, I truly think the best idea is to blow it up and start over. The fans will remain post-blow up. In fact, most of us would probably encourage the blow up. Just look how long we've stuck out the suffering and not given up. Because, despite the overwhelming odds that the team is going to continue to suck, we still go to the games, we still watch the drafts, we still post "______ sucks! and "fire ______!" messages on the web.

The reason we remain is simple: Deep down (very deep for the most negative among us), we all want to have hope for the best - even if it's just in our sports team. And so the season starts over from scratch every year, and they play the game even though we think we already know the outcome ('08 Super Bowl, anyone? Sorry, my only example!).

And we demand change, because if things change, then we can still have hope that things will improve. But even if we're not 100% certain of the outcome, if the alternative is more of the same thing that created the abysmal situation, then change looks like a much better option.

Yes, I'm still talking about sports . . . among other things.

Back In Action

Finally! Well, since I missed Monday and Tuesday, and most of you have had a chance to digest football from the weekend (and I'm holding on to my other football article until tomorrow) we're going to check in on some of the other leagues (yes, football is included):

Word on the street is that Stephon Marbury may have seen his last days as a New York Knickerbocker. What, waiving the best point guard in the league? Maybe it was the chess games in the car with interns. The word claims that there will be a buyout of Starbury's $21.9 million contract, which would put the Knicks well at the top of the list of the NBA's best/worst buyouts of all time. In case you're not familiar with how this works, buyouts occur when a team discovers that no other team will pay what they are paying for a particular player, making a trade not possible, but the team still wants to clear roster space to bring in someone other than the overpaid player. So the team literally pays the bought-out player not to play. (I know, I'm trying to figure out a way to make this happen at my job.) Who better than the Knicks to be involved when explaining buyouts?

But the word from new President (since Zeke departed the post) Donnie Walsh doused the flames on all that with some crazy talk. He says that the Knicks expect Marbury to come to camp . . . and they're expecting Allan Houston to come back, too. That was unexpected. So here's what I think happened: Houston's returned reminded them of the last time they paid someone $20 million not to play. Then the Knicks thought to themselves "Ya know, it's not worth another $20 million to be a good team in the best sports market in the country. It's not. If we keep adding players that other teams don't want and our draft picks get booed every year, we'll have a championship in no time." And then they struck the part about winning a championship and inserted just a question mark.

No fear, Knicks fans, you're likely to still have your same old (read: terrible) team to kick around, whether Marbury's there or not. If they let him go, who do they have to replace him? Sure, they've signed a guard - Anthony Roberson. . . 'nuf said. They can't really afford (not just monetarily) to buy out Marbury's contract and still pick up a solid, established player who would want to come into that situation. This last part is the key. The Knicks organization reminds me of another poorly run outfit in another city that has also become the laughing stock of the entire league. But the Knicks are even more special because they ensure that talented players don't shine there under any circumstances. Here's hoping Marbury is in the great shape they say he is and that former Phoenix Suns/new Knicks coach Mike D'Antoni can bring some of his winning ways - or at least mentality - out east . . .


I'm checking out these WNBA Finals. I'm currently watching the L.A. Sparks vs. the Seattle . . . wait, let me look that up . . . Storm. It's the elimination game, as they're calling it, with the winner going to the Western Conference Finals. The Storm actually has Sue Bird, although she didn't have a great first half. The Sparks, on the other hand, has Lisa Leslie and Candace Parker - the top two jersey sellers in the league - who, not coincidentally, are also the top scorers in this game. I'm no Nostradamus but I have a really, really good feeling that the Sparks are going to win this one. Let's just say I saw some highlights from the Detroit Shock game in which the only fans in the arena were seated in the lower third rows. I think they'll pick up more than just the diehard fan if/when the Sparks make it. I just saw a Storm player try to drive on Leslie and Parker . . . and come away with a blocked shot and some alone time with the hardwood. And mic'd up coaches - which mics occasionally catch a raucous fan seated nearby. And (female) commentators who aren't afraid to call like they see it. Fun to watch.

This brings me to another point. I just watched the Storm's coach talk to the ladies in the locker room. How come men can coach women's sports but women can't coach men's? When will we break through this, one of the last remaining glass ceilings? I may have to do a write up on this soon . . .

Quarterback Swap is on again. This week's victim is past MVP Pro Bowler Marc Bulger of the ailing St. Louis Rams. At least they're making some changes . . . . There's not much further down to fall than 0-3 after three weeks. . . but 0-4 after four weeks is a sure sign that the end is imminent. The man starting in Bulger's place is none other than Trent "walking endorsement for the anti-concussion helmet" Green. (I briefly considered posting a picture of him on a stretcher but I'm just not that cruel. Instead, I went with a picture of Bulger in a pose that may become more familiar to him over the next few weeks.) Last season, when Green was a Miami Dolphin, I suggested in my post that he ought to be nicer to the O-line if he wants to avoid having his block knocked off. Well, at least if he gets rocked (and I sincerely hope he does not - this article says it all), he will know that it's not because they don't want to protect him, they just . . . can't.

It looks like Bulger may have pine-riding company in Cleveland Browns QB Derek Anderson . . .


Turning to a place I don't turn too often: golf. (No, really. My brand new clubs are still sitting here untouched). The U.S. team actually won the Ryder Cup (that U.S. vs. Europe golf competition) for the first time in nine years, without the help of Tiger Woods. I don't think this is such a fluke or coincidental at all, and though the Brits apparently are blaming Nick Faldo for their loss, I think there is a far less complex explanation: no Tiger. It's hard to focus on your game when you're more concerned with matching up with your teammate than you are with beating the other team. Unfortunately, the "Tiger-effect" falls to other players too, effectively rendering anyone who doesn't win a major or compete with Tiger on the final day of an event virtually anonymous. This was confirmed when I failed to recognize most of the younger guys on the U.S. roster. But maybe this is just what they needed to get themselves on the map. Until Tiger returns, anyway.



Rutgers University QB Mike Teel threw an interception and then a punch at his teammate, Glen Lee, just during a game Rutgers eventually lost to Navy last Saturday. Rutgers' coach Greg Schiano has decided not to punish the QB, saying the situation "was over and done with." Does it help that this teammate was a reserve defensive back who was trying to tell Teel to keep his head up? Look, I know he was frustrated, but if the situation had been reversed, I wouldn't be surprised if Lee had been kicked off the team. Lee supported the move not to punish Teel, calling it a "family" matter (over and over again). In all the key players' own words:



I should have counted how many times they all used the word "family" in this video. It has to be on par with Allen Iverson's love for "practice." One of them blamed it on being "competitive." I'm competitive, but I've never attempted to punch a teammate in the mouth, and neither do most people (even though we all may have wanted to more than a few times). Lee sounds like a battered spouse. I don't know what happened behind closed doors, or why Lee appears literally to be taking the punch, but I get the sneaking suspicion that it's directly proportional to his perceived importance to the team. Yuck. I know Schiano doesn't want to go 0-4 and miss that bowl game they're used to attending, but your QB's out of control, buddy. This one gets a thumbs way down.



But I'd like to end this post on a thumbs up, which goes out to Ball State University football wide received Dante Love. Love had been having a stellar season thus far, picking up where he left off as an All-Mid-American first team standout. On Saturday, Love was injured during Ball State's win over Indiana University when he collided with an Indiana cornerback. I've read that his head dipped at the last moment, which is almost always followed by injury. Unfortunately, they're saying that Love's injury will end his career, but that he will be able to live a normal life - meaning he likely won't be paralyzed (and if he's able to move now, then that's probably the case). The one consolation I can offer Love is that "they" have been wrong many times before. While I certainly wouldn't encourage him to come back before he is ready, it doesn't necessarily have to be over just because they say it is. I really hate to see anyone's hopes and dreams dashed in an instant - especially at his age and in his situation. But even if he never plays again, I believe things happen sometimes to teach you a lesson that you wouldn't have learned otherwise or to push you in a direction that you may not have otherwise considered. Hopefully, in time, it will all make sense to him. Two thumbs WAY up for a speedy recovery.

To Tide You Over

No rest for the weary. Work hard, play hard, then work hard again. So little time, I can't even do a rundown. I'll try again tomorrow night, but I don't want to make promises that I can't keep. Something tells me my topic of choice will still be relevant any day of this season . . .

Instead, I thought I'd keep the smiles going into Tuesday . . . click here and here for past MYSM's. (Yes, one day, I'll make these into one label). Please watch Carl Lewis' rendition of the national anthem if you're in a bad mood. Studies have shown that it is impossible to feel down after multiple viewings.

So I'm adding Jerry Stackhouse's rendition, just to combat any idea that athletes must be tone deaf.



Or clickhere for my Michael Vick coverage since people seemed to like that. Not to mention he took up the most real estate on this blog over the past year or so. I must have missed this one, but it looks like he has been keeping up with his skills while he's away.

Hopefully, I'll be back in action tomorrow. . .