Back In Action

Finally! Well, since I missed Monday and Tuesday, and most of you have had a chance to digest football from the weekend (and I'm holding on to my other football article until tomorrow) we're going to check in on some of the other leagues (yes, football is included):

Word on the street is that Stephon Marbury may have seen his last days as a New York Knickerbocker. What, waiving the best point guard in the league? Maybe it was the chess games in the car with interns. The word claims that there will be a buyout of Starbury's $21.9 million contract, which would put the Knicks well at the top of the list of the NBA's best/worst buyouts of all time. In case you're not familiar with how this works, buyouts occur when a team discovers that no other team will pay what they are paying for a particular player, making a trade not possible, but the team still wants to clear roster space to bring in someone other than the overpaid player. So the team literally pays the bought-out player not to play. (I know, I'm trying to figure out a way to make this happen at my job.) Who better than the Knicks to be involved when explaining buyouts?

But the word from new President (since Zeke departed the post) Donnie Walsh doused the flames on all that with some crazy talk. He says that the Knicks expect Marbury to come to camp . . . and they're expecting Allan Houston to come back, too. That was unexpected. So here's what I think happened: Houston's returned reminded them of the last time they paid someone $20 million not to play. Then the Knicks thought to themselves "Ya know, it's not worth another $20 million to be a good team in the best sports market in the country. It's not. If we keep adding players that other teams don't want and our draft picks get booed every year, we'll have a championship in no time." And then they struck the part about winning a championship and inserted just a question mark.

No fear, Knicks fans, you're likely to still have your same old (read: terrible) team to kick around, whether Marbury's there or not. If they let him go, who do they have to replace him? Sure, they've signed a guard - Anthony Roberson. . . 'nuf said. They can't really afford (not just monetarily) to buy out Marbury's contract and still pick up a solid, established player who would want to come into that situation. This last part is the key. The Knicks organization reminds me of another poorly run outfit in another city that has also become the laughing stock of the entire league. But the Knicks are even more special because they ensure that talented players don't shine there under any circumstances. Here's hoping Marbury is in the great shape they say he is and that former Phoenix Suns/new Knicks coach Mike D'Antoni can bring some of his winning ways - or at least mentality - out east . . .


I'm checking out these WNBA Finals. I'm currently watching the L.A. Sparks vs. the Seattle . . . wait, let me look that up . . . Storm. It's the elimination game, as they're calling it, with the winner going to the Western Conference Finals. The Storm actually has Sue Bird, although she didn't have a great first half. The Sparks, on the other hand, has Lisa Leslie and Candace Parker - the top two jersey sellers in the league - who, not coincidentally, are also the top scorers in this game. I'm no Nostradamus but I have a really, really good feeling that the Sparks are going to win this one. Let's just say I saw some highlights from the Detroit Shock game in which the only fans in the arena were seated in the lower third rows. I think they'll pick up more than just the diehard fan if/when the Sparks make it. I just saw a Storm player try to drive on Leslie and Parker . . . and come away with a blocked shot and some alone time with the hardwood. And mic'd up coaches - which mics occasionally catch a raucous fan seated nearby. And (female) commentators who aren't afraid to call like they see it. Fun to watch.

This brings me to another point. I just watched the Storm's coach talk to the ladies in the locker room. How come men can coach women's sports but women can't coach men's? When will we break through this, one of the last remaining glass ceilings? I may have to do a write up on this soon . . .

Quarterback Swap is on again. This week's victim is past MVP Pro Bowler Marc Bulger of the ailing St. Louis Rams. At least they're making some changes . . . . There's not much further down to fall than 0-3 after three weeks. . . but 0-4 after four weeks is a sure sign that the end is imminent. The man starting in Bulger's place is none other than Trent "walking endorsement for the anti-concussion helmet" Green. (I briefly considered posting a picture of him on a stretcher but I'm just not that cruel. Instead, I went with a picture of Bulger in a pose that may become more familiar to him over the next few weeks.) Last season, when Green was a Miami Dolphin, I suggested in my post that he ought to be nicer to the O-line if he wants to avoid having his block knocked off. Well, at least if he gets rocked (and I sincerely hope he does not - this article says it all), he will know that it's not because they don't want to protect him, they just . . . can't.

It looks like Bulger may have pine-riding company in Cleveland Browns QB Derek Anderson . . .


Turning to a place I don't turn too often: golf. (No, really. My brand new clubs are still sitting here untouched). The U.S. team actually won the Ryder Cup (that U.S. vs. Europe golf competition) for the first time in nine years, without the help of Tiger Woods. I don't think this is such a fluke or coincidental at all, and though the Brits apparently are blaming Nick Faldo for their loss, I think there is a far less complex explanation: no Tiger. It's hard to focus on your game when you're more concerned with matching up with your teammate than you are with beating the other team. Unfortunately, the "Tiger-effect" falls to other players too, effectively rendering anyone who doesn't win a major or compete with Tiger on the final day of an event virtually anonymous. This was confirmed when I failed to recognize most of the younger guys on the U.S. roster. But maybe this is just what they needed to get themselves on the map. Until Tiger returns, anyway.



Rutgers University QB Mike Teel threw an interception and then a punch at his teammate, Glen Lee, just during a game Rutgers eventually lost to Navy last Saturday. Rutgers' coach Greg Schiano has decided not to punish the QB, saying the situation "was over and done with." Does it help that this teammate was a reserve defensive back who was trying to tell Teel to keep his head up? Look, I know he was frustrated, but if the situation had been reversed, I wouldn't be surprised if Lee had been kicked off the team. Lee supported the move not to punish Teel, calling it a "family" matter (over and over again). In all the key players' own words:



I should have counted how many times they all used the word "family" in this video. It has to be on par with Allen Iverson's love for "practice." One of them blamed it on being "competitive." I'm competitive, but I've never attempted to punch a teammate in the mouth, and neither do most people (even though we all may have wanted to more than a few times). Lee sounds like a battered spouse. I don't know what happened behind closed doors, or why Lee appears literally to be taking the punch, but I get the sneaking suspicion that it's directly proportional to his perceived importance to the team. Yuck. I know Schiano doesn't want to go 0-4 and miss that bowl game they're used to attending, but your QB's out of control, buddy. This one gets a thumbs way down.



But I'd like to end this post on a thumbs up, which goes out to Ball State University football wide received Dante Love. Love had been having a stellar season thus far, picking up where he left off as an All-Mid-American first team standout. On Saturday, Love was injured during Ball State's win over Indiana University when he collided with an Indiana cornerback. I've read that his head dipped at the last moment, which is almost always followed by injury. Unfortunately, they're saying that Love's injury will end his career, but that he will be able to live a normal life - meaning he likely won't be paralyzed (and if he's able to move now, then that's probably the case). The one consolation I can offer Love is that "they" have been wrong many times before. While I certainly wouldn't encourage him to come back before he is ready, it doesn't necessarily have to be over just because they say it is. I really hate to see anyone's hopes and dreams dashed in an instant - especially at his age and in his situation. But even if he never plays again, I believe things happen sometimes to teach you a lesson that you wouldn't have learned otherwise or to push you in a direction that you may not have otherwise considered. Hopefully, in time, it will all make sense to him. Two thumbs WAY up for a speedy recovery.

"AH" Will Just Enjoy Mah Retirement

Allan Houston ("AH") decided that rather than facing the possibly of not making the roster of one of the worst, talent-heavy basketball teams of all time, he's just going to stay retired.

Good choice, Allan. Maybe the best choice by an athlete all year, in any sport. There is no chance you're going to win a ring with the Knicks, and short of that, I really don't see the point in you coming back. Especially if there's really no position for you there.

He seems like a nice enough guy. If money's the issue, I'm sure he could make money doing something else besides playing for a crappy team, like co-hosting The View or something, a la Tiki Barber. Maybe not as much as he would in the NBA, and not as much as he has when he wasn't even playing in the NBA the first time, but enough to feed his family, which should make Sprewell happy.

In other news, Tony Massenburg(?) has also decided to stay retired. If you aren't familiar with him (as I barely was myself), refer to this previous post. Excuse me, he was told to stay retired after being waived by the Washington Wizards, thus ending his bid to play for an NBA record 13th different team. Well, I always said if you can't be a superstar, then break a random record. I'm sorry to see that Tony didn't quite do that, either.

Forty's the New Twenty*

I REALLY wanted to give this post a different title, but I decided I'd be nice to Reggie - for once. Don't tell anyone I was nice to him, I have a reputation to uphold.

In the smartest move I've ever seen him make (except retiring the first time), 42 year old Reggie Miller decided against returning to the NBA, this time with the Boston Celtics, to try for that elusive first NBA Championship. Has anyone ever seen a return from retirement work? When Michael Jordan took a year away from the NBA to stink up baseball, he was still in his prime at the time, and he returned to win three more rings with the Bulls. But when he left and tried to return again, this time with the Washington Wizards, it became apparent to all (most importantly, him) that it was time to let it go. But it's Michael Jordan, so no harm, no foul. He's still the greatest.

But Reggie is not MJ. Whereas Jordan commanded respect on the court no matter who he was playing with, with Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett, and Paul Pierce already on the Celtics team, I don't see Reggie getting enough touches during a game to make a comeback with that team worth it. Plus, even though he says he was up to it physically, I think he may have forgotten what it's like to play 80+ games against kids almost 25 years younger than you. I know how I feel after I compete against kids ten years my junior for only two hours, and it's not good. Soreness for a week when before, you weren't sore at all. It's one thing to walk into school the next day limping, but when you limp into work, people start asking questions.

I came across this interesting article on ESPN of all of the former players who are attempting a comeback now. Writer Marc Stein thinks it's in part coincidence, in part a reflection of the lack of veteran leadership on most teams. Just for fun, I thought I'd give my opinion on the players considering a comeback:

Allan Houston - Well, it would sure give us something to look at. (Just kidding, hon!) But seriously, Allan left at a fairly young NBA-age due to injury, and he's only 36 now, so he might have a little left in the tank. In case you weren't aware, he was the highest paid player in the league after he retired, making $20 million. Maybe he feels he should play for that money he made when he wasn't playing. . . yeah, maybe not.

Charles Oakley - Oak, is this a joke?? Unless the team needs a security guard or a wingman for their rookies when they go to the club, at 44, I don't see him showing up on anybody's roster this year.

Shawn Kemp - Oh wow, another blast from the even-less-recent past. He's up and down with weight like Luther (Vandross), and he just can't seem to keep his nose clean. I hope he can get it together, but he might be too high of a risk to bring the veteran leadership teams are looking for.

Tony Massenburg- Who? I added his picture to help us all out. Apparently, he's vying for the record for the number of different teams played with at 13. I don't have anything else to say about either of these players. If somebody is willing to pay you, more power to you.

Keith Van Horn - I honestly didn't realize he had left. I'll put him in the "eh, why not?" category. He may not win you any championships, but he probably won't make you lose one either.

Antonio Davis - Good guy. Hard worker. I started off saying I was going to be nice, and I'm sticking with it. Just remember that whatever team gets him gets everyone that comes along with him, too.

Qyntel Woods - Again, who? Another pic, see if he rings a bell. He went from Community College straight to the NBA, so I'm going to assume he had some other off-court issues (yes, Wikipedia, I see you, but as I have indicated below, I can't trust you anymore). I do wish him all the best. But he's only 26 and he's playing overseas - if he counts as making a comeback, then I can name about 50 guys who are making one, too. I think he's only on here because, like Vick, he faced some trouble for dog fighting. But you didn't hear about that, did you?

Scottie Pippen - He's Reggie with multiple rings. Also 42. Michael's finally put it down, and so should you.

Toni Kukoc - Nowhere near as talented as Reggie, but otherwise, see above.

Nick Van Exel - He was a solid shooter in his hey day, but ultimately ended up a loser in the "pay cut for a ring" exchange. According to the article he's in no shape to play, so I don't even know why he's on this list.

Latrell Sprewell - I'm sure more than a few teams would welcome him back with open arms if he's willing to give it another go. He was always fun to watch and he was as intense as anyone on the floor. His Wikipedia page says that he built his career around "his athleticism, versatility, and combative manners." (Note to self: stop using Wiki as a factual source of info.) Spree has had his fair share of interesting events during his NBA career (check , but it looks like a return to the NBA may not be one of them. But since he recently had his yacht repossessed, he might actually be looking for work. I wonder if he gets royalties on the rims that bear his name.

Michael Jordan - Ha! He just put this in here to make sure you were still reading. You are, right? Couldn't stand you when you played, but I can still recognize you were pretty good, and decent for the game. Again, I have a reputation to uphold, so don't tell anyone I said this.



I know some of you need the money, others of you just like to compete, and yet others of you don't know what to do with yourself if you aren't on the court, but if you (1) are over 40, (2) are a headcase (Google yourself if you're not sure), (3) have already won a ring, and (4) weren't "the man" when you were playing, I would strongly advise you to stay home. Call me if you need some ideas on what you can do post-NBA.

But if none of those things apply to you, prospective un-retiree, then the NBA needs you! But more importantly, I need you! I know I wasn't watching much TV for the three years I was in law school, but I don't recognize more than 2 players on a team come playoff time. Do it for me.

*Thanks Long Beach