5, 4, 3, 2 . . .

The deal:

1. ESPN.com did a great piece on a fallen firefighter/assistant coach who died in a fire but whose lasting effect on his team propelled them to the state finals. Great job, ESPN. And good luck, Summerville!

2. If you hear some old guy cursing during the NCAA telecasts, it might just be Bob Knight. Yes, that Bob Knight of chair-throwing fame. Said Knight, "I think ESPN has been real good for college basketball and I look forward to working with some of their people who I have known a long time." Real good, Bobby, real good. I hope they're still using that five second delay.

3. Congress wants to talk about passing federal legislation banning the use of performance-enhancing drugs in all professional sports leagues. Naturally, the commissioners of the various leagues do not want the practices of their league members being legislated by the feds. I can't imagine why adding one more way for their players get arrested would not be appealing.

4. Title this under "Riiiight." Earlier, the Green Bay Packers official website ran an article stating that Brett Favre had indeed decided to retire. The Packers party line:

"There's nothing to it," Packers spokesman Jeff Blumb told The Associated Press.
"People who handle our Web site had set up a dummy page in the event he was to
retire. They were asked to take down that page."

Yeah, ok. Favre's decision is expected to come soon. Let's see if it differs at all from what was posted. You know where my money is.

5. This article is upsetting, if for no other reason than it contains information about 2 players that I find it tough to root for (see, I'm getting nicer ). According to Mary Sims, the MVP comes down to, among others, Kobe, LeBron, or . . . Kevin Garnett? Sims had him as leading the race back in December, and now still has him on the list at #3. I guess he felt like he could drop him down a notch but removing him from the top five would hurt his credibility. Too late. I'm not sure KG's the MVP of his own team much less of the entire league. Sims must have gotten dunked on by him in high school and he's just trying to make himself feel better.

As Simple As 1 +1

Out of town tomorrow. Late night tonight. Can only mean one thing . . .

1. I caught the end of the Chicago Bulls/Miami Heat game, in which the Heat racked up its 24th loss out of the last 25 games. I didn't see Shawn Marion playing at all. But I did see Dwyane Wade taking ill-advised shots and turning the ball over on numerous occasions. Is he still injured? They looked terrible.

2. Monica Seles officially retired from tennis today. I had no idea that she hadn't actually retired, and she hasn't played a match in five years, but apparently she was trying for a comeback. Nine Grand Slam titles is nothing to sneeze at, and she was really nearing her peak when she got stabbed by the crazed Steffi Graf fan. Everything happens for a reason, though. Enjoy life after tennis, Monica. You are certainly one of the greats of the game.

3. Going back to basketball for a moment. The All-Star game rolls into New Orleans this weekend. I went to the one last year in Las Vegas but somehow missed most of the "action" people were talking about when I got back. I also missed the mile-long line to check in at the airport. Literally. People are predicting that New Orleans will be . . . interesting, but let's hope it's not quite as interesting as last year. I just read earlier today about how the NBA has engaged all of its major sponsors in doing community service projects for the city. I'm happy to see that they aren't just coming in, tearing up the town, and leaving because I don't know how much more NOLA can take. Hopefully Mardi Gras got it all out of people's systems.

4. Super Bowl winner (not a Patriot) and New York Giants linebacker Antonio Pierce has been charged with neglecting his pitbulls in the days leading up to the Super Bowl. Two pits escaped from his property, and one dog was found to be underweight and suffering from a respiratory illness, which prompted the charges. The charges would bring a fine, not jail time like his fellow league member, Michael Vick. I am hopeful that this was just a mistake and that maybe (just maybe) they were all too quick to pin another pitbull case on an NFL player. That, or Pierce should really check into doggy day care when he's going to be gone for long periods of time.

5. Am I the only one who forgot that at least part of the reason Congress cares about Roger Clemens is because it's illegal to use steroids without a prescription? Now it makes more sense why the Repubs were so adamant about calling Clemens' former trainer, Brian McNamee, being a drug dealer . . . he really was. But he didn't give any to Clemens. I have to work on not misremembering so much.

Now I know I didn't mention anything pertaining to the above pic of Manu Ginobili doing . . . I have no idea what he's doing, or if that move is even legal, but he looks funny. Something else that's funny is that he gave LeBron James and company the business on Wednesday night, scoring 46 points against the Cavs. I am a witness.

Run-Down: To Tell the Truth; Is Kidd's Cake Gone?

Despite today's high drama on Capitol Hill, I must get my sleep. Doing taxes takes a lot out of you, and I need another day to recover. Onward and upward:

1. On Wednesday, Roger Clemens lied his ____ off testified in front of Congress regarding his steroid use, in a game of he said-he said with his former trainer, Brian McNamee, who testified that he gave Clemens the juice on several occasions. There was some high drama during the hearing, of course. I want to go on record as saying that Roger Clemens stole the word "misremembers" from me. A word like that has lawyer written all over it. The Republicans beating up on McNamee was classic. Listening to their tirades (i.e., shouts of "You are a drug dealer!"), these guys sound a lot like disgruntled trial lawyers. This was their chance to show off their "tough cross" skills, and show off they did. All I have to say about this is somebody is clearly lying! And guess who won't be doing time if it turns out he was lying? His name does not rhyme with lemons.

2. You know how you eye that last piece of cake before you leave for work in the morning, dream about the cake all day, Google pictures of the cake and put it on your desktop, come home, eat dinner, get ready to eat the cake . . . and it turns out someone has already eaten it? Well, that's probably something similar to what Jason Kidd is feeling. The afternoon hype was that Kidd was on his way to the Dallas Mavericks, the trade he has been yearning for for a very long time. But alas, when you're part of a package deal, and part of the package doesn't want to go, there goes your deal. That refusing package part is one Devean George, who used his "trump card" allowing him to refuse to be traded. So there goes that deal, for now anyway. I saw George out and about in L.A. one time, I am sure he is not trying to get dumped in dirty jerz, never to be heard from again. So George has dodged a bullet for now but his other teammates may not be so lucky. Mavs' owner Mark Cuban is desperate for a ring. I see one more attempt with some different players before this deal falls through completely.

That's all, folks. I may post mid-day if the feeling strikes me . . .

How Many Times?

I know you all aren't used to the one topic-one post articles anymore but I have to shake things up every now and then. Schedule suddenly clears, Pleats 'n Cleats only benefits.

I put a notice out to Roger Clemens yesterday that if you testify falsely under oath, you might as well start notifying your current job that you will be incarcerated sometime in the future. People, it's really not worth it. Plead the fifth. I know admitting it can be problematic due to records and such, but if given the opportunity, just don't say anything.

Now he has invoked the wrath of the former trainer who saved Clemens' alleged syringes for a DNA sample just in case Clemens lied. I like how Clemens has his own ESPN tab at the bottom of the screen called "Clemens" . . . does anyone else think the MLB called and said please don't put him on our tab, we're trying to rehab our image? I'd put five on it.

Now the feds are trying to get a court order to have the syringes tested for Clemens' DNA. Had this occurred prior to the days when we knew our DNA stays on everything - forever - then perhaps I would feel differently, but at this point I have little sympathy for you, Roger. I know you're somewhere right now saying, "D'oh!"

To be continued . . .

Barry Will Need A Bond After This One

I felt I had to post on this one, although I don't have that much to add yet because I haven't read the full indictment. I promise to do that over the weekend and give a more "expert" take (ha!) on each charge.

In the meantime, the news is that after 4 years of togetherness, a federal grand jury in California finally decided on Thursday that there is enough evidence to issue an indictment against the MLB home run record-breaking San Francisco Giants player Barry Lamar Bonds.

The indictment is for four counts of perjury and one count of obstruction of justice. Several people have inquired as to what obstruction of justice means. The best way I can describe it is that it is what it is - you are being accused of obstructing justice. Yes, it is that broad. I'd call it the catch-all crime. It can involve any number of acts, typically getting in the way of some official investigation by lying, omitting, destroying evidence. Just generally getting in the way of "justice" being served.

The circumstances of Mr. Bonds indictment involve his alleged lies, omissions, etc. to federal investigators when he was under oath (perjury) and during the course of the federal investigation (obstruction) about his relationship with the Bay Area Laboratory Co-operative (better known as BALCO) and several people connected to it (most notably, trainer Greg Anderson), involving Bonds usage of and hooking up of others with steroids. Anderson was just released today after serving time for his refusal to snitch on Bonds when subpoenaed to do so (called being held in "contempt of court"). Was that a coincidence? Not clear just yet.

So now Bonds is looking at a maximum of 30 years for these four offenses. I am sure he will get nothing close to that, if any time at all, but again, let me read the indictment.

If these charges stick, expect him to be stripped of his home run record, among other things. They're saying his career is virtually over.

I tell ya. It's not the drugs that get you in trouble. It's the lying about them. Every time. Ricky Williams didn't lie about it, and now he's back playing with the Miami Dolphins.

When will they learn?

This Means NOT You

So the IOC has decided to give Marion Jones' medals to "clean: athletes only. No, this is not an oxymoron in track and field, but this is a subtle way of saying that Greek sprinter Katerina Thanou, who came in second to Jones at the 2000 Olympics in the 100 meters, will not be getting Jones' gold medal.

From Thanou's wikipedia page, the most accurate source of info known to (wo)man:

For the 2004 Summer Olympics, Thanou was one of the main hopes of the home crowd for winning an athletics medal. However, on the day prior to the opening ceremony, Thanou and her training partner Konstantinos Kenteris failed to attend a drugs test, and later the same night were hospitalised, claiming they had both been injured in a motorcycle accident. In the ensuing doping scandal, Kenteris and Thanou announced their withdrawal from the Games on August 18, after a hearing before the Disciplinary Commission of the IOC. An official Greek investigation into their alleged accident, ruled that it had been staged. Their coach Christos Tsekos was also suspended and was later caught with large amounts of steroids and other drugs in his possession.

The missed test in Athens was the duo's third violation of the summer and they were consequently suspended by the IAAF on 22 December 2004. After a long legal battle, on 26 June 2006 before the Court of Arbitration for Sport the Greek athletes, accepted anti-doping rule violations of 3 missed tests between 27 July and 12 August 2004 (in breach of Rule 32.2(d)) and a failure to provide a urine and a blood sample on 12 August 2004 (in breach of Rule 32.2(c)). They became eligible to compete again on 22 December 2006.

On her return to international competition at the European Indoor Athletics Championships in Birmingham, England, she was booed by the crowds before finishing 6th in the final.

Sixth place upon her return? Skipping drug tests because of a motorcycle accident with your other teammate who has been suspected of steroid use? Coach caught with a bag full of steroids shortly thereafter?

Nope, nothing wrong here. Give this woman give her that gold medal.

You Mean I Can't Get Abs Like Hers From Sit Ups?

So Marion Jones has finally copped to using steroids. And not just to using them, but that she lied to federal prosecutors when they asked her about her use. The same federal prosecutors who caused Barry Bonds to get the home run record with an asterisk. Ever since she she was questioned the first time, she has denied, denied, denied, that she used steroids, and now it turns out that she lied, lied, lied.

Raise your hand if you're surprised. No hands? These rumors have been following her for years, ever since she won all those medals at the 2000 Olympics. Granted, she did get two bronze medals, but those were in the 4X100 relay (where there are 3 others who may not be doped up to slow you down) and the long jump. I hope you took a lot of pictures with those medals, Marion, because they are going bye-bye.

First Floyd Landis and the Tour de France and now this. Not a good look for Americans in fringe sports.

I actually volunteered to help conduct random urine testing for athletes at an annual track and field event. No, I didn't actually do the test, I just tapped them on the shoulder and told them that they were being selected, then watched to make sure they didn't drink any "funny water" as I escorted them to the testing room. From what I recall, no one had any medals stripped away, and at this particular event, those running for Team Nike, Reebok, and Adidas (i.e., the famous runners) were just there for show so I don't know if they got tested.

One particular year, I met Marion Jones. She seemed nice enough. She and I are close to the same height, and I was playing sports at the time and considered myself to be in fairly decent shape but she was WAY bigger than me, and much more cut. I don't know if she was on performance enhancers then, but the timing seems to match up. She smoked everyone at that race, too.

Now they're saying she has tarnished her legacy, but I think that's a little harsh. While none of you raised a hand when I asked if you were surprised, I bet all of those hands would shoot up (no pun intended) if I asked you who believes that all sprinters use steroids. Flo Jo, may she rest in peace, died from mysterious causes at the age of 38 after being dogged by rumors of steroid use, but even Marion couldn't break the records she set.

Now, I'm sure a lot of Marion's competitors were doing the same thing. She just happened to be tremendously fast and on steroids.

I do think there is something wrong with taking performance enhancing drugs or medicaments if doing so can kill you or do serious damage to your body (like certain steroids - or all of them?). I just want to understand the source of the outrage. It appears that the people who come up with these things are always a step ahead of the regulators, and everyone is on some kind of enhancer, it just may not be illegal yet. Perhaps there's something to maintaining the sanctity of the sport, and being able to compare records across eras, but I believe athletes were doing something to enhance their performance from the days of the first Olympics, so it's all relative.

Maybe it's that everyone doesn't have access to the same drugs? But isn't that the case with all types of "enhancers" - from supplements, to great coaching, to plyometric devices, to particular diets? Raw talent and speed is only as good as it is harnessed.

Someone clue me in: if there is no damage done to the body, what's the real problem with taking something to enhance your performance?