Pleats 'n Cleats

Ron Artest Misses MJ, Too

2009-07-06T22:30:00.009-04:00

I don't normally post stuff like this because I try to keep it PG, so you have been warned that there is strong language that some may find offensive.

But Ron Artest has the right to give Michael Jackson a tribute, which I happened to have discovered on the eve of MJ's memorial service. Ron has never disappointed me. Ever.

GYGM: Who's Bad?

2009-06-29T02:38:00.001-04:00

Wow, I can't believe I haven't posted at all in the month of June...

Well, now is as good a time as any to post a GYGM (I know it has been a long time). I promise I'll be back to posting in the near term (even though NBA is done, I have some thoughts on the trades and draft picks...and what I think will continue to be an interesting summer for all of those...)

But I had to give all due respect to what I can safely say is the greatest entertainer of all time. Everything else has already been said.

It's funny that LeBron mentioned during the BET Awards last night that MJ did a lot for basketball, as he may have not considered the veracity of his statement, but he is right. Michael Jackson's influence across all forms of entertainment certainly paved the way for others (black, white and other) from sports to music to movies and television.

Thanks for the memories, MJ.

A (Derrick) Rose By Any Other Name Is Just As Sweet

2009-05-29T02:14:00.010-04:00

I'm working on very little sleep but had a few things on my mind and needed to vent (I have the good fortune of needing to unwind and watch TV when I get home, no matter how late it is...), so here goes:

As we all suspected, the University of Memphis basketball player whom the NCAA is investigating about his involvement with some academic integrity issues (i.e., having someone else take the SAT in his stead and changing a high school grade from a D to a C) is none other than your now-NBA (Sprite? KIA? Quicken Loans? (not just yet)) Rookie of the Year, Derrick Rose. Of course they're interviewing everyone under the sun from the NCAA to students at Memphis to the NBA to discuss the potential impact of this. I just heard a lawyer explain why all of his endorsers are watching this closely and yada yada yada. I don't have the time to get into this like I'd like to so I may need to revisit, but needless to say if you've been here before, I find this all to be a bit ridiculous. Rose actually seems reasonably intelligent and learned, but even given that, let's be honest: did Memphis really recruit him for his academic prowess? Is he the only athlete who has ever had a grade changed? Sure, it's not a good thing to have someone take the SAT for you, and there should be punishment for that.

But that's not what this is about. I don't know if people truly understood the great lengths that the NCAA goes to pursue their goals of free labor and higher revenues. They have succeeded in convincing people that they have a genuine interest in the education of their athletes and that playing for nothing more than the "love of the game" (while the schools and the organization rake in millions of dollars every year) is sports at its most "pure." And, oh yeah, that "one and done" rule the NBA adopted? Well, one year of going to class and socialization is better than none, right? Two years would just be overkill.

When I was in law school, having played college sports myself, I considered filing a lawsuit on behalf of other NCAA student-athletes to get the organization to change its oppressive system but then I realized that I wasn't the first person who had tried nor would I be the last. Instead, I settled for writing a paper on the topic. And, thankfully for the NCAA, I'm not a big fan of litigation. Ha.

But the point remains the same: Everybody in and around basketball knows the deal. It's not that these kids are dumb, it's that people don't even want them to try for fear that they won't succeed and, therefore, won't be able to play. (Then we wonder why they have trouble trying to balance life as an adult...) How genuinely surprised would folks in the NCAA or NBA, or companies handing out these millions of endorsement dollars really be if it turned out that every single NBA star had received a grade they didn't deserve at some point in their scholastic careers? Considering that people representing each and every single one of these groups have been following these kids since they were in 7th and 8th grade, I'd have to say not many. No one can claim they were left in the dark, and in many cases, these same folks now crying foul (no pun intended) were the ones providing the "light." After all, the [insert name of basketball shoe/clothing company] guy who came to all of their high school games is the same guy who connects the kid with his college team, which team often leads him to his NBA agent, who leads the kid back to the shoe/clothing guy. Given all of this, I find it hard to believe that the NBA, NCAA and endorsers are banking on the fact that these kids are actually doing their own work; rather, I'd say they're banking on you and I not thinking about that.

Now, the NCAA wants to strip Memphis of the games they won (including their tournament run) if they find these allegations are true. But even if they take away the games from the "record books" (they must be kept in a library and not on the Internets), there will always be an asterisk there, not to mention that people have memories - they can't quite erase those.

So if the NCAA, the NBA (the "A" apparently used to stand for "academia"), and Rose's endorsers decide to distance themselves from him now that he (and more likely, if this is true, the others around him) allegedly had low academic integrity a few years ago (he is a pro now, last I checked), that's fine. As long as they don't mind being called on the hypocrisy.

I've got at least one more bone to pick this week. Stay tuned . . .

MYSM . . . A Little Bit Late

2009-05-04T18:31:00.001-04:00

Funny stuff. Congrats to King James on the MVP award.

Title This One: "And Sometimes She Blogs, Too"

2009-04-28T01:57:00.005-04:00

So many of my convos involve sports these days, I am starting to believe that it's just a more enjoyable forum to do what I like to do most: analyze things. Here are a few things I've been talking about:

1. Kudos to those of you who correctly guessed - on the blog and off - Ray Allen, aka Jesus Shuttlesworth, as the "smart guy" in Saturday's Quickie. I wrote the Quickie after finally seeing his PSA with his wife and son who has diabetes about the JDRF, which I thought might help you all figure out who I was talking about, but what do I know. If you read the blog, you know that I don't often support "hype" but trust me when I say this guy is the real deal . . . and rare. First Kevin Garnett, then Ray Allen. Who's next?

2. Carlos Boozer just said he would like to be a Utah Jazz next season. HA. I will believe it when I see it. It's funny because people had him going to the Pistons when they seemed like a title contender but now that they've effectively blown themselves up, he probably feels he's a lot closer to winning in Utah than he is to winning one in Detroit. I can't say I blame him since he isn't getting any younger and the Pistons are at least a few years away from a championship . . . yet I'm not certain Jerry Sloan can get over the "always a bridesmaid" hump with Utah, but some people feel better about at least coming close even if they never win. Not me. When my team gets to the finals and loses repeatedly, it's bad for my blood pressure, and it just plain sucks. I don't know how Portland Trailblazers fans did it back in the day. If they just stink, then at least I know what I'm getting. I can't be alone in this . . .

3. Unless you're a sports writer/reporter, a prospective player (or a member of said prospective player's massive entourage . . . ) - basically, employed in some way by the NFL either indirectly or directly, the NFL draft is somewhat of a snooze fest. How anyone can retain interest in watching 240 guys get picked is beyond me. Most people I know don't watch past the first 10 to 15 picks, and only listen out for their own teams picks. I mean, there are so many people to choose from, let's just admit this is sort of a random crapshoot after the first round or so, eh? Or admit that the way the players in the later rounds are picked is based on some criteria like, say, "finished 2nd in the 40 behind the guy who tested positive for weed during the combine." And these late picks may well be the guys who mean the most to the team in the long run. I think any GM who continually makes successful picks in the draft deserves a bonus just for that.

4. Derrick Rose! Show them why you were #1! I'm happy to see him rising to the occasion in his first playoff series, especially after the way he and Memphis let the championship slip from their grasp in the '08 NCAA final. Perhaps that was just a freshman mistake . . . only time will tell.

5. They're still showing Michael Vick's rescued dogs in segments on national news shows. The one I just watched (no idea what channel it was) featured a woman who was taking her Vick rescued dog to a trainer to help with its behavioral problems. And while this is still ongoing, she's bringing the dog around her small children. The interviewer asked her about this and she indicated that she wasn't concerned because of all the love and attention the dog was now receiving. Well, here's an anecdote for her: Recently, I was running out the door and left some chicken out on my stove in an aluminum tray. When I returned home, I discovered that my small-ish dog somehow managed to jump up on the stove, knock the tray down, and eat all of the chicken and most of the aluminum foil that was underneath it . . . all of which she managed to expel over the course of the next twelve hours. This is only the second time this has happened in the time I've had her, the first being nearly four years ago when she and her partner in crime jacked a Christmas ham. The moral of the story is this: dogs will be dogs so watch your back. . . and at least wait for the dog to complete the training before you loose it on your kids. I'm certain she wouldn't have allowed it around her kids if we were talking about a human who was trained to only kill people . . .

Quickie: The Smart Guy

2009-04-25T13:34:00.001-04:00

It's nice to be able to write something positive about a superstar.

I don't know why all of the ones I've been running into are basketball players but maybe football players aren't as visible to me (although come to think of it, I did see one of those, too, but I didn't talk to him so it's not worth mentioning). Anyway, on with the story.

I've never been a huge fan of him, not because of his personality or anything like that, but just because he has been on team(s) I could never root for (not if I wanted to go back home, that is). But I had the absolute pleasure of randomly chit-chatting with this NBA superstar and I must say, he was quite impressive. He seems like an intelligent guy on TV, even in his "holy role," but he's not just smart, he puts his money and time where his mouth is, and encourages his teammates to do the same.

In a 20 minute convo with him and another sports figure, basketball was not on the agenda. Instead, we discussed topics such as why our society is in poor health. By all accounts, he is a rare breed indeed in any sport, but every team could use a guy like him in their locker room.

The sky is definitely the limit when it comes to his post-NBA vocation.

If this isn't easy enough, I'll add that he and his team are in the playoffs.

MYSM: Walk-In Closets

2009-04-20T02:52:00.003-04:00

As one might imagine, as a chick who really likes sports, I'm not a fan of stereotypes but this is pretty amusing.

Happy Monday!

She Tweets!

2009-04-05T20:51:00.002-04:00

As you may have noticed, I haven't had much time to blog these days. But I have plenty of time to Twitter (if Shaq does, then so can I). I am still trying to figure out how to use this thing, but please sign up to follow me as I comment on sports topics throughout the day.

I'm actually hoping to post something this week because so much has gone on that people keep asking for my opinion (aww, I'm touched), and I do have some things to say.

If you want to follow me as I twitter, tweet, twit, whatever, you can find me at twitter.com/pleatsncleats.

See you soon!

MYSM: Is This Phelps Also On That Stuff?

2009-03-02T18:02:00.002-05:00

ESPN's Digger Phelps sure knows how to . . . move. I can't really call this dancing or cutting a rug, it's more like a performance . . . of some sort. Hey, at least he knows how to have a good time!

This is not his first time . . .

Monthly Rundown

2009-02-11T01:16:00.004-05:00

It has been about a month since the last time I posted. Time is at a premium these days, but here's a little something something so it can't be said that I've abandoned my blog:

1) Tiger Woods can be defeated. Score one for the senior citizens!

2) So Alex Rodriguez tested positive for steroids. I still don't quite understand why this is a big deal . . . obviously, these guys are huge. Truthfully, I'd be more surprised if he wasn't shooting up. If I see one more story about how disappointed some writer is that some would-be-Hall-of-Fame-bound baseball player did steroids, I'm going to start writing letters to the editor. Maybe I'm too cynical, but I think these guys are approaching this with a tad too much naïvete. I mean, you've seen that guy who goes to your gym every single day and takes protein intravenously in the locker room - he STILL doesn't look like Mark McGwire!

3) The NBA All-Star game is this weekend. I've listened to the commentators debate over the past few weeks whether all-stars should come from subpar teams. My take on it is this: this is a popularity contest, folks. If you're putting up the numbers, have a top-selling jersey, or are good enough to have one of the Big 3 (now refers to Nike, Reebok, and Adidas) throw piles of money at you to sell their stuff, then you should be on the roster. I don't think the quality of your team should really count for much. This is a celebration of individual play, not the ability to make their bad teammates better. If I have to play alongside [insert names of four other guys who, if not for the right connections, would be playing overseas right now] (I'm turning over a new leaf and not calling anyone out), then I don't think I should be punished for it. That said, I am happy that the Cleveland Cavaliers' Mo Williams finally gets his chance to shine. Of course he was passed over twice (really, three times) and had to wait for guys (Jameer Nelson first and now Chris Bosh) to go down with injuries, but things have a way of working out exactly how they are supposed to.

4) So Plaxico Burress has a history of not paying his bills on time. The folks in the article seem to be blaming this on "he thinks he can do whatever he wants because he's a professional athlete." Except that not paying the bills on time makes him exactly like 90% of the attorneys I know (because they know the laws on debt collection, after all) and probably a solid percentage of the American public. It's amazing how quickly people will forget your game winning Super Bowl touchdown after you shoot yourself in the leg at a night club.

5) Pretty funny.

New Year, Same Run

2009-01-11T23:49:00.006-05:00

I heard you can only say happy new year for a week, but I think it's allowed whenever you haven't spoken to someone since last year. So,

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Thanks to all who have sent me stories and said they missed me. I missed you, too. Without further ado, let's jump into the first run of the new year:

1. Donovan McNabb can really be a beast sometimes. And sometimes he can really be a fool. I've said before that winning covers up a multitude of sins. For those who didn't see it, near the end of the Philadelphia Eagles win over the New York Giants, a game in which Eli Manning completed his return to earth after last year's Super Bowl win, McNabb ran out of bounds on to the Giants sidelines, picked up the phone customarily used to communicate with the coordinators looking down on the game, and acted like he was making a phone call. That little antic cost his team a 15 yard penalty. And earned him a nice rebuke from former fellow QB Troy Aikman: "Sometimes I just don't know what's going through that guy's head." McNabb acknowledged it wasn't the smartest move after the game, and luckily for him the game was pretty much out of reach. But that's the kind of stuff that makes Iggles fans dislike him. McNabb's a veteran and he knows officials don't put up with any shenanigans. Completely ridiculous, that's all I have to say.

2. So Tim Tebow decided that it's better to play college football than to make millions playing for the Detroit Lions. Even in this economy, he wasn't willing to possibly ruin his career. Smart man.

3. My how the might have fallen. The Boston Celtics went from amazing to awful in the course of a month. Now, they're just happy to get a win over the Toronto Raptors, which is really no win at all. Although the Celts finally snapped their losing streak, Kevin Garnett managed to go an ice cold 3-16. This is a prime example of how the mental side of the game is often more important than being physically talented. This is not a different team from earlier in the season, this is the same team who is now not disturbed by the idea of losing. I'm still not a Celts fan but I'll do just about anything to not have to see the Cleveland Cavaliers coming out of the East. And it's not that I don't like the Cavs (Ok, it's not just that I don't like the Cavs), but I just don't believe they're talented enough to go all the way in the playoffs, despite this recent ride. I just don't see all the tools there that typically comprise championship teams. LeBron James is talented enough for sure, but every superstar needs support to get over the hump. While his guys are playing well now, I have a feeling they'll be playing nearer to their historic averages (read: not quite as hot) come playoff time. We'll just have to wait and see . . .

4. University of North Carolina men's basketball team is 0-2 in ACC play. Maybe now this will end all of that Tyler Hansbrough/Naismith player of the year talk . . . at least for a few weeks. I'll take what I can get.

5. I thought about discussing the other NFL games, but you've probably seen SportsCenter twelve times since then like I have. This is a little video montage passed along by a faithful reader. He likes #3, I'm still blown by #4. Although #3 is kind of hilarious, it doesn't quite count as a MYSM so it's rounding out the top five.

Happy Monday!

MYSM: RV Improvements

2009-01-11T23:30:00.000-05:00

This is the commercial I was looking for before.

I'd like to know where I can buy that 24-second clock . . .

GYGM: Sesame Street Rocked

2009-01-11T23:25:00.000-05:00

Stevie Wonder visited Sesame Street and it was never the same again. I love the kid rocking out at :39.

Barney was never quite as dope.

Two Days For Tuesday

2008-12-29T00:10:00.006-05:00

This post took me two days to finish writing, but like I always say, better late than never. It makes me feel better about being late.

1. O-town! I guess it's kind of a big deal about the Detroit Lions going 0-16. I like the post-game quotes about how much this sucks. I don't know what changed between 0-15 and 0-16, and hey, at least they were consistent. I don't really see why you go down in history for losing all of the games vs. going 1-15. They're equally as awful, just the one loss doesn't get as much press (or puns). Look at the Miami Dolphins, they were 1-15 and now they're going to the playoffs. Miracles do happen. Maybe not on the Lions, but they happen to other people . . . (On a sidenote, I know my blog has infiltrated my mind because I hear the words "playoffs" and "practice" and automatically think of Jim Mora and Allen Iverson, respectively. Am I alone in this?)

**UPDATE** - Lions' coach Rod Marinelli got the boot on Monday. But Marinelli still managed to sound as positive and upbeat as the day he took the job. He truly seems like a good guy, and I wish him all the best down the road. As for the Lions, I'll deal with them again right before the next season.

2. Speaking of being in need of a miracle, WHAT was that crap the Dallas Cowboys laid on the field today against the Philadelphia Eagles (aka, the Iggles)? So you have a golden opportunity to get into the playoffs (via the wild card game, and after several other improbable wins by other teams) and what do you do? Get blown out, and help some guy (or gal) clean up in the final week of fantasy football. It appears the Lions loss made enough headlines to knock the Cowboys off of the front page, despite the colossal failure that was this game. But if I had to choose to be a Cowboy or a Lion . . . well, I'd still be a Cowboy because who the heck wants to be in the Hall of ShFame for losing every game in a seaon, but the Cowboys is a close -- nope, it's still a distant second, but it's fairly embarrassing and it also sucks. To add insult to injury, Tony Romo collapsed in the shower after the game following a rib injury sustained during the game that affected his breathing. Hmm . . . well, I guess if your team is going to have as many turnovers and mistakes as the Cowboys had, then it softens the blow to get your own butt individually kicked, too. Way to take one with the team.

3. One team might be slightly more pissed than the Cowboys: the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who fell in fantastic form to the Oakland Raiders. A game which even very-involved Raiders owner Al Davis skipped because he thought it was a lost cause. Maybe it doesn't matter if you lose every game or if you win most of them if you both end up sitting at home in January . . .

4. Mike Singletary now has a permanent home (well, through the first few games of next season) with the San Francisco 49ers. Congrats to him. It's nice to know that mooning your employees is not fatal to one's career advancement.

5. Moving away from football for the moment, my "friend" - I use that term loosely because he is a fan of both LeBron and the man I am about to mention - put me on to this video of Kevin Garnett being interviewed by John Thompson. It's no secret that I have never been a big KG fan, mainly because he seemed to be a whiner, which is the quickest way to get yourself on Pleats 'n Cleats' Least Fave 5. But after watching this, I'd have to say he is either a really good actor or has the heart of a lion. I certainly can't hate on that.

Maybe he's not so bad after all . . .

Running Through My Mind

2008-12-18T14:48:00.006-05:00

A few random musings (I wrote this several days ago and just never got around to posting):

1) NBA firings are apparently at an all-time high for this point in the season. Six coaches have been given their walking papers and we're barely 1/4 into the season. The chopped list includes: Reggie Theus by the Sacramento Kings, Maurice Cheeks by the Philadelphia 76er's, Eddie Jordan by the Washington Wizards, Sam Mitchell by the Toronto Raptors, Randy Wittman by the Minnesota Timberwolves, and P.J. Carlesimo by the Oklahoma City Thunder. I agree with cutting off the head sometimes, but for most of these, I really think they coach was a scapegoat, covering up the real, massive problem: the team sucks. I won't elaborate on which coaches I think needed to go (to protect the innocent) but suffice it to say that this is a short term solution to a problem that goes way deeper than the head coach. Almost all of these teams are underachieving, and one literally just started a few months ago. Is it the economy? Lack of fans? Whatever the reason, firing the coach this early is akin to throwing in the towel for the year, and, frankly, it's just not very creative . . . especially the Kings who waited for five other heads to roll before he got the boot in the back. What followers.

2) Have I ever mentioned how much I love Stephon Marbury? He is the only guy in the league who would buy a front row ticket to a game in which he is being paid to play but the team doesn't want him. Seriously, the only one. Maybe Latrell Sprewell would have pulled such a move back in his day but other than that, I can't think of anyone. I caught his interview at the game, and he did one of my favorites: "me, myself . . ." I never understood what that means, I guess it's sort of like "um" for the urban set. He really keeps things interesting.

3) Allen Iverson was fined for "making inappropriate comments" to a fan during a Detroit Pistons visit to the Charlotte Bobcats, a game which the Pistons eventually won. I wonder if these guys budget for fines and suspensions . . .

4) So the Atlanta Hawks weren't a fluke and really do have something close to a legitimate response to the Boston Celtics. I will admit that the Celtics have really been impressive. I didn't like the idea of throwing a bunch of superstars together just to win a championship, but by golly, it worked. Two stars may not be enough, but three is solid, especially if one of them is a 7 foot shooter. But the Hawks almost beat them and looked good doing it. I'll have to continue to monitor this as the season develops . . .

5) I've been saying this for a long time, and now I'm finally going public with it. Twins?

Stuart from Mad TV:

Tyler from UNC:

GYGM: Kick Off Your Sunday Shoes

2008-12-15T00:44:00.003-05:00

In honor of our current-soon-to-be-former POTUS, I present you with . . . Footloose.

I couldn't resist.

MYSM: W's On My Dodgeball Team

2008-12-15T00:34:00.004-05:00

I've made a poor showing these past few weeks. This week should be better, today not included.

Today's "make ya smile" offering made me cry the first time I saw it. I assume you've all seen it but there's no way that I could let this go without posting it here.

Some of you may be saying, "Hey, PnC, this is not sports related. What's it doing on MYSM?" Ah, I'd have to disagree. While Dubya's quick moves were not part of a sporting event, this is easily one of the most athletic moves that I've had the pleasure of posting on a Monday - or maybe that I've ever seen. That shoe was going at a nice clip, Bush could have been bloody if not for his cat-like reflexes. I especially like how the second shoe didn't phase anyone.

The Secret Service must have been asleep at the wheel.

Happy Monday!

Running Back

2008-12-09T23:50:00.006-05:00

So I've had quite a last few months, hence the lack of posts. I responded to a comment on my Plax post so check it out and jump in the conversation if you feel so inclined.

I have a few moments so I thought I'd do a little running on some random ruminations:

1) Joey Porter came to the defense of Plaxico Burress. During an interview that's set to appear on ESPN tomorrow (but I found it for you), Porter says that carrying a gun is essential as an NFL player, and when asked whether he carried a gun, he stumbled a bit over the answer but he admitted that he did, and that his interviewer should, too, if he cares about his family. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell's take on it? He says (I'm paraphrasing) that if you're in a place where a gun is necessary, then you should leave that place. Hmm . . . so does that count for what happened to Sean Taylor? I might need to do a separate post on this, but I think his statement's a tad ignorant, in the truest sense of the word. I guarantee the same people coming after Goodell aren't coming after Porter and Burress.

2) This Stephen Curry kid (how the heck do you pronounce his name, really? Found it: STEFF-in) is just about the sweetest looking basketball player I've ever seen. By sweet, I mean like nice and sweet - not "sweet," but he is that, too. (And not that kind of sweet). He doesn't even look like he's trying and then he just launches these shots from out of nowhere. I always wonder about guys who are wildly popular in college (i.e., J.J. Redick) and whether translate into NBA success (no). It's a possibility but for some reason, I can't picture him in an NBA uniform. I think it's the face.

3) Going back to the NFL for a moment - I'd heard that sports probably wouldn't be safe during this recession. Now, the NFL is laying off 150 folks. What, not enough fines this year to keep your people employed? The "funny" part is that the layoffs are due to an anticipated downturn in ticket sales for next season. I'm all for forecasting and all that jazz but I think this might be a little premature. Of course, I'll concede the NFL has tracked ticket sales in recessions and might know more than I do . . . but a lot can happen in a year. It's almost Christmas! And we thought NFL = "not for long" referred to just the players.

4) I missed the Oscar De La Hoya fight (he fought alleged marquee boxer Manny Pacquiao . . . I concede the boy is good. Happy?) on Saturday night but from all accounts, that should really have been the Golden Boy's swan song. I caught a little bit of the bout and he looked pretty slow and tired out there. Although he rallied against Floyd Mayweather last year, he clearly has lost the goods that warranted him even a decision in the Felix Trinidad fight (wow, that was nine years ago - I remember where I was when I watched it). Now, he's just messing with his legacy. I know he'll miss the money, but he's still a young man, and I think still pretty enough to sell more than just grills and get paid handsomely (no pun intended) for doing so.

5) I'm cheating, I know, this isn't a story, but I missed MYSM, so I'm sharing. The move or the commentating - I'm not sure what's better. Please, Derrick, don't hurt 'em!

WTH: Plax Doesn't Just Kill Germs

2008-12-02T00:12:00.007-05:00

Man. So I finally have a chance to write and this is what I'm given? You mean another football player shoots himself in the ~~leg~~foot and potentially ruins his career?

Football is an unforgiving sport for a lot of reasons. One, the contracts are not guaranteed. Two, the playing-life span is incredibly short. And three, your career can end in a matter of moments. Unfortunately for several players in recent years, it's not just because of the hard hits.

It's amazing to me how your whole life can change in an instant. If you think back, there are probably only one or two pivotal moments in your life where if things had gone differently, you would not be where you are today (for better or for worse). The tough part is that you never know until it happens when you're having one of those moments.

So here we have Plaxico Burress - and potentially Antonio Pierce - who shot himself in a night club. Allegedly, the gun fell out of his pant leg after it accidentally went off, and Pierece tried to help him hide it - which seems to suggest they knew he wasn't supposed to have it. Considering that Plax's not even walking with a limp, this wouldn't have been so bad if not for the fact that he allegedly had an expired, out of state (this latter fact is all that matters in NY) permit for the gun. Now, he's being charged with two counts of criminal possession of a weapon that carry a minimum sentence of 3.5 years per count.

Here's my lawyer break down for those who want to know: Under New York law, he could be found guilty if the prosecution can prove that he knowingly possessed a loaded firearm with intent to use the firearm unlawfully against another (one count) or if it can be proven that he knowingly possessed a loaded firearm outside of his home or place of business (second count).

Well, Burress did one smart thing: He hired the lawyer who got Sean "Diddy" Combs off on his night club weapon charges. That lawyer is Ben Brafman, a.k.a. this generation's Johnnie Cochran.

From what I know of the facts, I don't really see the first charge sticking. Was he really trying to hurt someone else? I don't see this being proven beyond a reasonable doubt. The second one seems more uncertain. Although Mayor Bloomberg is talking big talk, I believe in this Brafman guy, and I'm not sure that this should be the "set the example" case that the mayor would like it to be. That law is pretty tough on its face with its minimum 3.5 year sentence, and this is not really the type of situation it was meant to prevent. Talk about adding insult to injury.

Alright, kids, this one is not quite the same as the Michael Vick situation, because I understand the need to carry a weapon when you're a high profile athlete out and about, and this wasn't a case of hanging out with the wrong crowd (unless being bad for your own health counts). But there is still a huge lesson to be learned. If you're carrying a weapon outside of the state where you got your permit, you really ought to know the laws because every state (and even some cities within a state) is different, and it's quite likely that you'll end up in a situation like this one, even if you don't literally shoot yourself in the process.

The other lesson here is that nothing "good" happens when you're out after 1 a.m. You can continue to stay out later all you want . . . just know this is true, especially if you're married with children. And if your wife and child are going to be affected by your actions, then all I'd ask is that you please think three times (once for you, once for her, and once for the kids) before you decide to take a risk. It's probably not worth it.

I haven't even covered any potential NFL sanctions. Right now, he's facing some serious state charges, and, as with Michael Vick, what happens in the NFL will be dependent upon what happens in court. The Giants didn't seem to miss him too much on Sunday, and they will probably go on without him, although maybe with not as much "gusto."

And as for Antonio Pierce - well, he got to play on Sunday, and hopefully for the Giants sake he will continue to have that opportunity.

To all the other professional athletes out there - you've been warned. Again. You spend your entire life working for this dream. Don't kill it with one thoughtless decision.

Let's raise the level, folks. Our President-Elect is counting on you.

GYGM

2008-12-01T02:43:00.002-05:00

Prince Rogers Nelson. "Kiss." He is truly the only man in the world who could ever get away with this and still be considered straight. Ever.

Ever.

Turn it up!

Prince - kiss

Quickie: What's the Answer?

2008-12-01T02:25:00.003-05:00

(Note: If I already told you this story, you are NOT allowed to guess! I know, I know . . . there IS a downside to being in my entourage.)

Unfortunately, this is all I have time for these days. But I keep having anonymous run-ins with "greatness" so I thought I'd share with you all.

This one is probably entirely too easy, so I'm not giving too many clues.

Recently, I ran into this NBA superstar in a place where he's not normally known to be . . . at the casino. I wasn't gambling, but from the looks of it, he probably wished he hadn't been either. This could be due to some other issues, even though his team had actually won just a few hours before, and he had a pretty good game. He hasn't put up his usual superstar numbers recently, but he's due.

The one thing I really like about this guy is that, love him or hate him, he is and always will be a man of the people. Because while some of his superstar counterparts were probably also at the casino that night, they certainly were not sitting where our man was . . . with the common folk. Blinged out, yes, but in the dead center of the casino at the poker table. A serious crowd had begun to form, but he didn't seem to care. It's not like he couldn't afford to sit in the baller's room, but from my experience, that's just not his style.

MYSM: My Buddy

2008-12-01T02:23:00.001-05:00

I love parodies where adults really take it to kids. Hopefully you do, too.

Happy Monday!

GYGM: Frontin' Has No Future

2008-11-24T09:56:00.001-05:00

Another oldie but goodie.

RIP, MC Breed!

Be thankful for what you have, folks! Happy Monday!

MYSM: Give Steve A Hand

2008-11-24T09:52:00.001-05:00

An oldie but goodie. The Crocodile Hunter has a run-in with the Florida Gator.

RIP, Steve Irwin!

Quickie: Terry Porter Ain't Got No Rings

2008-11-17T00:56:00.000-05:00

I try to avoid discussing my personal experiences so as to protect the innocent (and the guilty) but this one was completely anonymous and worth sharing.

I was out and about the other night, standing at the top of the stairs of a restaurant when I saw what looked to be an older basketball player coming up the stairs toward me. As he got a little closer, I said to myself - which ended up being out loud - "Oh, that's Terry Porter!"

The response from "Terry Porter" as he ascended the stairs: "You must be drunk, baby!" (I hadn't had a drop of alcohol)

The man next to me quickly makes the correct identification: "It's [insert name of (way) former role player who won several NBA championships alongside a superstar]!"

(I won't out him since I don't want to start any trouble)

Yes, upon further inspection, the man next to me was right. So "way former role player" ("WFRP") says to me, just to make sure I never got it confused again: "Terry Porter? Terry Porter ain't got no ___________ rings!"

I apologize, WFRP, you're right. I should have looked for rings. That would have totally cleared things up.

But mostly, I apologize to nice guy Terry Porter for getting him confused with this character. People really crack me up . . .

GYGM: Outstanding

2008-11-17T00:49:00.000-05:00

Shaq's more than a shover, he was a humble rapper at one point, too.

I'm not entirely convinced that's actually his voice . . .

MYSM: Quit Pushing

2008-11-17T00:45:00.000-05:00

I can't even fake like I've had time to watch sports these past few weeks. My apologies! Hopefully, I will be able to catch up soon, and have something to say about anything. Today is not that day.

NBA fights are usually pretty weak given that none of them a) are used to throwing punches much less taking them, at least not since they were the close to the same height as the rest of the general population (age 2), and b) nobody's trying to lose that much money being suspended.

This fight took place during the Houston Rockets - Phoenix Suns game last Wednesday, and a bunch of folks got suspended (Rafer Alston, Matt Barnes, Steve Nash) and fined (Shaquille O'Neal, Tracy McGrady). Although no real punches were thrown, this warranted MYSM status based solely on how Shaq singlehandedly ended the fight with a few monster shoves. Although T Mac's "stomp that almost was" on Steve Nash's chest is a close second. Nash almost died, but Sheriff Shaq's shove saved his life. And for that he should be forever grateful.

Happy Monday!

MYSM: Greg Oden's ESPN Commercial

2008-11-10T02:37:00.001-05:00

When work lightens up, hopefully Pleats 'n Cleats will return to regularly scheduled programming. Until then . . .

Unfortunately, we've seen more of Greg Odwn in ads than we have on the court, but this is an oldie but goodie, plus behind the scenes footage. I'm still looking for that NBA promo commercial with Dwight Howard!

Happy Monday!

AI to the D

2008-11-03T20:39:00.011-05:00

Ok, ok. Several of you have asked so I think I can take a two minute break from the Barack Obama campaign to give my two cents on this Detroit Pistons-Denver Nuggets trade, so here goes:

If you've followed my work here, you know that I'm a firm believer in blowing things up and starting all over again. You may not know that that goes for whether the team is good but not quite good enough, or very awful. The Pistons fall into the former category. Consistently very good but not quite good enough. Personally, I don't care if you win all 82 games in the regular season and lose in 7 games in the NBA Finals - that's not my idea of a good team. If you're getting that close every year and can never seal the deal, you need to try something new. And if you start out on a high and then get progressively less good every year, that's even worse.

So I would have blown up the Pistons a few seasons ago, like 2005 a few seasons ago. They haven't really added or subtracted anyone of substance since they won in 2004, but yet expected that they'd somehow just up and figure it out. Well, I am glad they figured out early in this season that if they want to get to the top, they're going to have to take some drastic measures.

What did the Pistons lose? Not too much, in my opinion. In face, I may get jumped on for saying this, but I think Antonio McDyess is a bigger loss than "Mr. Big Shot" - whose shot has been M.I.A. longer than he's had that nickname. At least McDyess provided consistent inside scoring and solid defense, and he played hard every game - but he is getting up in age. Now, I know Billups had become Mr. Detroit, welcoming Obama instead of the mayor of Detroit, but I think it was time for him to go. Billups was inconsistent in terms of output and effort. The name Mr. Big Shot was only befitting if we're talking about shots he wasn't making, and on top of that, his shot selection became increasingly suspect. The irony of this trade is that the Pistons got rid of one gunner and picked up an even bigger gunner.

Which leads me to what the Pistons have gained. I mean, it's A.I. - I'd bet $100 that there are party promoters making up flyers for the official welcome to Motown party with his face splashed on them. Never mind, I don't want to take your money. This is huge for Detroit sports, especially when the stars on Detroit sports teams are few and far between these days. I'm far from a jersey person but I just might have to get his . . .

In terms of on-court gains, that remains to be seen. Iverson must have the ball in his hands to play well. Scratch that - to play at all. If he's not touching the ball at least 90% of the time his team has the ball, you're pretty much wasting him. He takes more shots than just about anyone in the game, but the thing is he almost always gets hot eventually, unlike some other people that I know. I actually enjoyed watching him and the 76ers in the NBA Finals back in 2002 when they lost in 5 games to the Los Angeles Lakers (featuring Kobe and Shaq). It was one of those LeBron James situations where he had pretty much no help but took his team much further than anyone thought was possible. But LeBron is a big man who takes over games. Iverson is barely 5'10" (I don't care what the NBA tells you) and just a scrappy player who leaves it all out there on the floor every night, and when he's on, he's dangerous. He may not like to practice, but he certainly likes to play. He has that heart that you just can't teach. And now that he's getting olderguy wants an NBA championship so badly he can taste it. He is one of the few who has been able to successfully get past a ton of off-court drama to get it together when necessary.

Fortunately, the Pistons are the most unselfish group of guys that you're going to encounter (sometimes to their detriment), and I think they can handle Iverson and his constant touching. As long as they can find themselves and their shots in the midst (i.e., after Iverson misses and the Pistons get the rebound) this could make the eastern conference very, very interesting this year. This is all neglecting the salary cap space that will be cleared because Iverson's contract will be up next year, allowing the Pistons to potentially pick up some other key players.

(Did I already mention that the Pistons instantly got more attractive?)

As for the gain to the Denver Nuggets . . . well, hopefully the thinner air and hometown factor will help Billups locate his shot again. McDyess . . . not really sure where he will fit in out there since they've already got a lot of big bodies who can score, but I think he was included as one of those unload situations to pad the deal (they also traded center Cheikh "Mr. Pad the Deal" Samb). The Nuggets with AI and Carmelo Anthony were supposed to be way better than they were (which wasn't terrible, but wasn't what they expected) and it looks like they weren't interested in giving that anymore time to work out.

This ESPN writer says the Nuggets got the better end of the deal because Billups will work better with Melo's style of play and now the Nuggets will have a true point guard rather than the shooting guard they had in Iverson. All I have to say to that is "OK." We'll see. I actually can't wait to see another exciting NBA season.

The bottom line is that this move is likely to either going to fail wildly (although it may still be a good move in the long run with the expired contracts issue) or result in a serious run at the championship - I don't think it can go any other way. But I love Joe Dumars for having the guts to shake it up.

This may call for NBA League Pass . . .

GYGM: HEY!

2008-11-02T21:08:00.001-05:00

This may be more familiar to some of you as the "hey" song, but I guarantee if this played every morning as you got out of bed, you'd have a bigger pep in your step. Especially if Gary Glitter and his outfit were there, too.

This should be playing around the time the polls close on Tuesday . . .

MYSM: The Full Monty

2008-11-02T20:31:00.001-05:00

Halfway through we get more than a post-game interview . . .

Some languages are just universal.

GYGM: Haven't Had Enough

2008-10-27T01:00:00.001-04:00

If you know me, then today's "get you going" offering comes as no surprise. This video is awesome, the backgrounds are even awesomer. The total package.

MICHAEL JACKSON - DON'T STOP TIL YOU GET ENOUGH

Happy Monday!

MYSM: Hitting You In the Mouth . . . Like A Bad Relationship

2008-10-27T00:30:00.003-04:00

I always knew I liked Mike Singletary when he was starring for the Chicago Bears. This solidifies it. He just makes a lot of sense and he's not settling for crud.

There were many, many sound bytes from this that I found highly amusing. Feel free to share your favorite part!

Sunday Rundown

2008-10-26T22:25:00.008-04:00

I've been MIA for a while, but not without good reason. My dad told me I should get to the point on here and no one wants to hear about how tired I am. Ha. Well, I don't tell you because you care, I tell you because I want you to know why I've slacked off! Work, work, and more work . . . but I'm not complaining at all because I'm thankful that I even have a job, much less one that I enjoy doing. But I digress.

Nice, full day of good football games. The Dallas Cowboys just barely held on for the win against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, but a win's a win, I guess. Just ask the Detroit Lions, who got close (again) but couldn't seal the deal against the Washington Redskins. Nice to see that they're still putting in an effort. Nicer to see Roy Williams doing what he should be doing and wasn't doing in Detroit - scoring. He couldn't do that for the Lions but he got that chance on Sunday in the Cowboys game. Hopefully, as long as the Cowboys keep winning, he won't fuss too much, but let's see how many more TD's Williams can catch before T.O. raises a ruckus.

The Philadelphia Eagles, and more specifically, Brian Westbrook, looked pretty good against the surprising Atlanta Falcons. Coming off an injury and rushing for nearly 175 yards is deserving of the top performer of the week award, I'd say.

The NFL crossed the pond again for the New Orleans Saints vs. San Diego Chargers game in London on Sunday. Last year, I noted that it was a mucky mess, so this year had nowhere to go but up. This year, the fans actually got to see some offense. Even LaDainian Tomlinson broke out of his season and almost-a-half long funk to step up his game. Perhaps I'm just a cynic, but I can't help but think that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell put in a call to the Saints and Chargers and asked them to go easy on the defense? If you're a fantasy football player (which, thankfully, this year I am not), you might want to take that into account for the Europe game every year. I also thought it was kind of cute (yes, I am a female) how one team (the Saints) was designated the "home team," and the fans waved Saints pennants and cheered loudly. A small touch but maybe just enough to make these guys not sulk so much about "having to" be the ones to make the ocean-jump mid-season.

More and more, it's looking like the "Terrible Three" (aka, the Lions, Cincinnati Bengals, and the Rams) might just be the Terrible Two. For the past few weeks, the Rams have looked like they really are interested in winning some games. Even the Lions are still making an effort. The Bengals, however, appear to have just given up. They don't get as much press for their terrible performance (they're now a perfect 0-8), perhaps because they don't have the legacy of losing of the Lions nor have they fallen from the ranks like the Rams, or maybe just because it's Cincinnati. And now that it looks like Carson Palmer is done for the rest of the season, the Bengals (who have been done for a long time aready) just never be mentioned again . . . unless, maybe, Ocho Cinco gets an 85 tattooed across his forehead.

Speaking of not-achieving (a step worse than underachieving, which implies that you are actually capable of achieving in the first place), the San Francisco 49ers, on the heels of firing their coach Mike Nolan last week, still looked a mess. Only everyone's not just going to roll over and die. New coach Mike Singletary has only been on the sidelines one game but already he's fed up and is not going to take it anymore. He sent underachieving (yes, he's capable) tight end Vernon Davis to the showers early, and benched his other major (in more than one way) underachiever, quarterback J.T. O'Sullivan. You have to watch the video of Singletary getting in Davis' face. Singletary's post-game interview definitely teetered on the edge of "rant" status - which makes him worthy of MYSM-status. Thanks, Mike.

You gotta love a man who's not afraid to go in and shake things up right from the start. I'm a firm believer that good things happen when you make a clean break from the status quo rather than gradually trying to turn things around. I'm definitely interested in seeing how this one shakes out . . . loving even more that we're not counting up black NFL coaches.

Monday Night Football should also be a good one, with Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts meeting the undefeated Tennessee Titans. Although, the Colts even record of wins and losses accurately reflects the likelihood that this game will be as good as it should be.

Tuesday Football Rundown

2008-10-21T01:59:00.006-04:00

Time is money, so we're jumping right in:

1. This is hilarious. For people to suggest that he did this because he's betting on the games is even funnier. It seems there are better ways to alter the outcome than taking out the QB. I've watched it a few times and I just don't see how what the ref did can be seen as anything other than a ref losing his mind momentarily. Where's the fine??

2. Kellen Winslow may be coming out of his pocket for his mouth. Winslow is not happy about how the Cleveland Brown treated him following his three day hospitalization with a staph infection, a problem the Browns have been trying to sweep under the locker room floor. They should have known they were going to have an issue if this guy got it. He's a "freakin'" soldier, after all. Maybe now they'll try to figure out why it's happening instead of trying to hide it. Staph infections? Seriously, that's just gross . . . and Winslow's entirely too pretty for all that.

3. Let's call this one "more like 'sucking' Broncos." Monday Night Football featured a blowout courtesy of the New England Patriots, who whooped up on the Denver Broncos 41-7. Were the Pats looking to prove on the premier stage that they still got it even without their golden boy? I think so.

4. Adam "Pacman" Jones has entered alcohol rehab. I believe that means one of two things: a) he (or his people) reads the blog, and/or b) he's coming back to the NFL. "Both a) and b)" is also an acceptable answer.

5. Looks like we're going all football, all the time today. The morning-after death knell tolled again, and this time its victim is San Francisco 49ers coach Mike Nolan. Apparently, he wasn't going to be fired:

Earlier Monday, [49ers VP Jed York] had said Nolan's job was safe for the time being."What changed," he said later, "was there were numerous reports (that Nolan would be fired) that were a distraction."

That may be one of the weakest excuses I've ever heard for firing someone. So Nolan's job was safe until people started saying his job wasn't safe, at which point his job became not safe and was in fact in extreme danger. Nice.

6. Try to catch the ESPN commercial with Dwight Howard and Tracy McGrady (and some others you probably wouldn't know) featuring new additions to the team RV. If I can find it online, I will post it. Good stuff.

And Now Introducing . . . GYGM!

2008-10-20T09:05:00.007-04:00

New feature!!

I've decided to expand MYSM (Make Ya Smile Mondays, for the new folks ;-)) to include a song/video to get your Monday going. We'll call it GYGM - Get You Going Mondays. Sports, music . . . it's all entertainment.

I went back 41 years for this one, which was actually my get it going song this morning. Stevie Wonder is amazing. He may appear here several times, so I hope that's not a problem. (If it is, I'd question your love for music). Enjoy!

Any Given Sunday . . . Or Monday

2008-10-20T00:38:00.009-04:00

Losing is starting to become a regular thing for the Dallas Cowboys . . . and the St. Louis Rams are on a winning streak, including a win against the Cowboys. I'd say that's bordering on unbelievable, and you would have had plenty of reasons to not have thunk it. Sure, Tony Romo and his pinkie sat this one out, but he was playing in the other losses. Is this another case of the quarterback makes the team (a la the New England Patriots and Tom Brady?) or would the 'boys have lost anyway? I like how people are writing them off as heading for implosion. I'd like to point out, however, that they still have a winning record and a lot more games to go. And pinkies heal. Let's not jump the gun (no pun intended - it is Texas, after all).

The expression "every dog gets its day" apparently does not carry over to cats because the Detroit Lions remain only-defeated.

Garnering an honorable mention for First Team, All Wish We Could Have Skipped This Week: New Orleans Saints RB Reggie Bush, who is getting arthroscopic knee surgery and will miss the next several games; Kelly Pavlik, who got whopped up on by Philly's son (who's now old enough to be a grandfather), Bernard Hopkins; Kansas City Chiefs RB Larry Johnson, who looks like he's going to be suspended for getting into a boxing match of his own with a woman in a nightclub; and all of the members of the New York Jets, who lost to the Oakland Raiders on a team record-setting 57-yard field goal. Better luck next time, boys.

Today's MYSM features one of the greatest boxers (and characters) of all time: Iron Mike Tyson. When he was in his prime, his opponents feared him because they knew the fight wasn't going to last long. Now, he's just scary to all of us . . . for so many reasons:

Happy Monday!

Happy Anniversary, Denny!

2008-10-16T23:45:00.002-04:00

Thursday, October 16 is the second anniversary of the Rant Heard 'Round the World . . . . and of some really great sound bytes. (Hence the commercial).

On October 16, 2006, Arizona Cardinals then-coach Dennis ("Denny") Green truly exemplified what it means to "go nuts." We've all felt like he feels, where the frustration builds to the point where you just can't take it anymore, and then you snap. Who wouldn't be furious after losing a game in which you were leading 23-3 in the fourth quarter? That's what makes his rant so funny - because we do know what he's feeling, we're just thankful that no one was around to film us feeling that way.

So in honor of this occasion, I thought I'd post my top five favorite coach rants (In terms of a rant I might go so far as to condone, though, I'd have to go with this one.) You might be familiar with some of them, but hopefully there's at least one you haven't seen. These are nothing short of amazing.

5. Beyond not wanting to talk about playoffs, Jim Mora keeps it real, again and again - and again. Not many coaches will tell you the truth, that "we got our a** totally kicked."

4. John Chaney going for John Calipari. This a classic example of when keeping it real when goes wrong.

3. This is the best entry into a post-game press-conference I've ever seen.

2. "But here's my point" - just when you think he's going to whisper . . . I have to try this sometime. It seems effective.

1. Which brings us to #1. I love how none of the reporters actually leave the room because they are NOT about to miss this story . . . but they're also not about to get knocked in the head with a phone.

And just because no good rant list is complete without Mr. "I know I 'sposed to be there, I know I 'sposed to lead by example," even if he's not a coach. (With "practice" counter)

Happy Friday!!

Pleats 'n Cleats Likes Hockey . . . Seriously

2008-10-16T01:36:00.010-04:00

I considered sharing my thoughts about Shaq's opinion of those who hack him, Tony Romo manning up like I asked him to, or Falcons owner Arthur Blank saying thanks but no thanks to Michael Vick.

But I'd rather talk about my first trip to a professional hockey game. It sounds like a Playskool set and to be honest, I was probably just as excited as if I had received one (when I was 4, of course). If you've never been to a hockey game either, here are my general observations:

1. Hockey games are probably as white as America gets. And maybe as drunk, although baseball games are probably #1. However, that could be the fact that the drinking at baseball games generally takes place in the hot sun, which leads me to #2 . . .

2. Wear long sleeves. I know there's ice but for some reason I figured that didn't mean the whole place had to be freezing, too. I had always wondered why people wore jerseys over sweatshirts at hockey games. I thought it was just to fill it out, but now I get it. What I don't get is why the mascot was so sweaty (he put his arm around me when we took a picture together - I wanted to get the full experience).

3. If you care about what the person right next to you is saying, be prepared for the complete inability to hear anything, including your own thoughts, every time play restarts. This is due to the use of the loudest buzzer known to man. They should have used this buzzer at recess to corral the kids - I'm sure we would have gone running inside even if we didn't really want to. If you're easily scared or don't like loud noises, this might not be the venue for you.

4. The "Kiss Cam" on the JumboTron here is the most inaccurate I've ever seen. Perhaps because there's so much movement in hockey, the cameras don't have time to focus on couples to make sure they are actually couples before the camera asks them to kiss. Seriously, I've never seen so many women point to the guy on the other side of them to indicate "that's who I normally kiss." There's no feeling like having a camera focused on you and your best friend's girlfriend with everyone, including your best friend, waiting to see if you'll kiss.

5. These guys really do fight. This is not wrestling. I've seen it on TV but watching two guys duke it out live and in person made me realize hockey players may be the best fighters in sports (obviously not including sports where punching is how you win). The suite I was in was fairly close so we got a pretty good view of the pummeling. Helmets flew. I think other sports should adopt this same "penalty box" idea where the player who gets a "foul" has to sit in timeout and his team is forced to play one man down. It sure would make for some interesting games . . . and maybe more fights, because if you can fight and just end up in the penalty box, it may be worth taking a swing or two. Then perhaps those NBA guys would learn how to throw a real punch.

6. Pay. Attention. To. The. Puck. Hockey pucks can go over 100 MPH, and there are a few areas where there's no coverage or there's a hole in the glass for camera lenses. During one shot on goal, the puck somehow made its way through to the small hole where the camera lens would have been (had the guy not been taking a break), causing a good portion of the people on that side of the rink to all yell and jump back at the same time. Not how I want to go out.

7. The sponsors are on the cheap side. During whatever they call halftime (because there are three periods, so it's not exactly the middle of the game), they had people take shots from mid-rink into the goal, which was hard enough but then they added a cardboard cutout with a rectangular opening the size of a mailbox slot. And if you made it? The grand prize was a whopping . . . wait for it . . . $500. Surprisingly, exactly none of the participants made it. This sponsor is clearly not coming off that $500 without a fight (maybe the opening gets smaller in bad economies). One guy completely missed the goal three times on the right side. I don't understand how you don't over-correct in the other direction, but I digress . . .

8. Scoring in hockey is quite a joyous occasion. At this particular game, there was a lot of it and, hence, a lot of joy. The joy is so loud that it stops you from whatever else you're doing, such as, once again, thinking, speaking, etc. It does, however, make for a good segue out of a bad conversation: "Yeah, my 401(k) is really .... OHHH! Goal! Woo, high five!" Then walk away.

9. This is not hockey specific but it made me mad so it's making the list. There's no smoking in arenas these days so now they have outdoor smoking areas. Only they put them right where people who don't smoke - like me - have to walk. So if I wanted to enter the arena, I had to ravage through a cloud of haze and yuckiness on my way in. I tried to hold my breath, but they got me, and now I have a cough. The day when non-smokers don't have to be ~~infected~~affected by these people will be one of the happiest days of my life.

10. I love food so I don't know why this is last, but the food in the suite is great! Maybe it's just the arena I was in but man we had some good stuff: fresh fajitas (with guacamole and pico de gallo) and steak sandwiches (shredded, Philly style with hoagie rolls and all). And I topped it off (I had the fajita, not both) with an ice cream cookie sandwich . . . definitely one of the top five I've ever had. Of course there were hot dogs and sausages, too. But compared to the old, fried chicken pieces (fingers?) and cold mozzarella sticks I'm used to seeing, this was like . . . the Cheesecake Factory, at least.

Overall, hockey games are kinda cool. The music was just OK, and there weren't too many festivities other than the game (the chicks in hot pants and skates - who made their way up to the suite next to ours and look to be about the size of 12 year olds - do not count) so I can see how this could get boring without fighting and scoring.

If you found Pleats 'n Cleats doing a search for hockey blogs, I'm sorry to disappoint you because the "puck" stops here. No, really, this is possibly the end of the line for any mention of hockey here. That is, unless you've got a suite . . . and an ice cream cookie sandwich. I accept and encourage bribes for blog posts.

Yee-Ha!

2008-10-15T00:45:00.008-04:00

Two of today's top stories came from the world of football - specifically, the Dallas Cowboys. Although there are a lot of topics worth running to (i.e., boxer Vitali Klitschko using his son's wet diapers to keep down hand-swelling, John Madden taking a seat, Eddy Curry taking a seat and busting an exercise ball, etc.), I decided to be a one-story-woman.

The first story is a toss up between Adam "Pacman" Jones getting suspended indefinitely by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell after not being disciplined by the Dallas Cowboys AND Roy Williams getting traded to the Dallas Cowboys, joining another Roy Williams. Either way it involves the Cowboys so I'll just pick one.

So it looks like Pacman may have used up his 9 lives with the NFL. How many guys keep getting this many chances to act right, though? This is a guy who, when the Dallas Cowboys got him in a trade from the Tennessee Titans, they included a clause to move up draft pick received by the Cowboys if he got suspended during this season. I completely disagree with the suggestion from the sports commentators that he somehow would deserve more of a chance, or would be worth the risk, if he were contributing more on the field this season. That's the thinking that got Pacman and his last two teams in trouble in the first place. If he's not learning right from wrong despite the number of chances he has been given then he just doesn't deserve anymore chances. Period.

The funny thing is that, normally, I'm not a fan of teams or leagues hanging a guy out to dry when they've tolerated his behavior all along the way, but that's not the situation that Pacman is in. He has been given chances - repeatedly - and he isn't making any progress. Maybe they're not getting him the right help (it sounds like he may have a drinking problem), but he has to do work on his part, too. The hardest thing for people who "care" (I use that term loosely) about people to realize is that some people just cannot be helped. All you can do is make the effort, but if you've done all you can and they don't respond, then you have to let them go. I don't want to say it's too late for him, nor can I say for sure that everyone has done all they can, but at the very, very least, he needs some time outside of the game to get his mind right before anyone gives him anymore chances. I know the Cowboys tried to keep him insulated and surrounded by good people, but it doesn't look like he changed on the inside. This reminds me of a fable my dad used to tell me:

A scorpion, being a very poor swimmer, asked a turtle to carry him on his back across a river. "Are you mad?" exclaimed the turtle. "You'll sting me while I'm swimming and I'll drown." "My dear turtle," laughed the scorpion, "if I were to sting you, you would drown and I would go down with you. Now where is the logic in that?" "You're right!" cried the turtle. "Hop on!" The scorpion climbed aboard and halfway across the river gave the turtle a mighty sting. As they both sank to the bottom, the turtle resignedly said: "Do you mind if I ask you something? You said there'd be no logic in your stinging me. Why did you do it?" "It has nothing to do with logic," the drowning scorpion sadly replied. "It's just my character."

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is Pacman Jones, in a nutshell. Yes, a person is certainly capable of changing, but if he doesn't go through a serious character metamorphosis, this is a lost cause. The next team who dares take a chance on him may last a little while without incident, but they're only playing with fire. There are too many other talented players out there who would be able to appreciate the shot Pacman's been given.

So to any team who insists on even considering bringing Pacman Jones to town (assuming Goodell allows him to come back), please do yourself (and your fans) and him a favor and make him go through counseling for at least a year without playing (and without any incidents of any kind) . . . or just let him go.

Enough of that. On to the Roy L. Williams trade (not to be confused with Roy E. Williams, who was already a member of the Cowboys). People said this was a bad move by the Lions and the Cowboys. (Even worse than that move by QB Dan Orlovsky when he got a safety for attempting to extend the end zone past it's legal limits, and then the Lions lost the game by exactly two points? Doubtful.) Again, I'm going to have to disagree. This is a GREAT move by the Lions, probably the best seen since the Barry Sanders days.

The Lions picked up a future 1st, 3rd, and 6th round pick in the 2009 draft and got rid of a guy who couldn't wait to go. I imagine Williams feels a little bit like that one hostage who gets released. Who wouldn't want to get out of that miserable muck? I bet even Matt Millen has been sleeping soundly since he got the boot.

Most importantly, though, this gives the Lions another chance to blow it all up and start over, which is exactly what they need to do. If I were the Lions GM, I'd totally gut the team. Everyone. Every last player, starting with the ones who have been there the longest. I don't want anyone there who remembers what it was like to lose so terribly so many times, at least not until they've spent some time knowing what it's like to win somewhere else. The human mind is too powerful to ignore the psychological effect of being in a losing locker room for so many seasons.

From the Cowboys perspective, Williams may have been a Pro Bowler once upon a time, but he's not putting up Pro Bowl numbers these days (in his defense, he played for the Lions, which needs no explanation). So it remains to be seen how he'll fit in with T.O., who is said to be "ecstatic" with the trade. The only way T.O. is ecstatic is if he gets to catch the ball more often. And if Williams can draw some of the heat away from T.O., that leaves the latter open to catch more passes. Now I get it . . .

Let's just hope Tony Romo comes back before the season gets too far away from them . . . speaking of which, I'm now questioning Romo's allegiance after hearing about college football player Trevor Wikre, who opted to cut his off to avoid season-ending surgery. This is high on my list of most disturbing things I've ever heard.

From Crappy to Happy . . . and Other NFL Fables

2008-10-14T00:24:00.006-04:00

What a difference a game makes. It's funny how one big win on Monday Night Football can take a team from sucking underachiever to "contender in a matter of, oh, 60 playing minutes to be exact.

Before an hour ago, the Cleveland Browns were mush and their current starting QB, Derek Anderson, was looking at the door. Eager (and popular) beaver Brady Quinn has been breathing down his neck for about a year now, and he keeps looking cute and smiley (in a kid brother kind of way) on the sidelines, all the while knowing he's more popular than the guy who starts over him. As the MNF gang pointed out, Quinn is the only back up QB to have his own commercial . . . making Derek Anderson the only starting QB whose backup has one when he doesn't.

Now, Anderson looks like Tom Brady with his "precision" and "accurate" throws, and the Browns, who could have been 1-4 after tonight, now have to be taken seriously.

No, the Browns didn't win the Super Bowl, but they did beat the Super Bowl champs, who have been looking pretty good in their champions tour. I should say looked good because they looked pretty awful Monday night. Eli Manning throwing three times as many interceptions as he has had in four previous games? That'll do it. And that tackle . . . come on Eli, that was pitiful, at least make it look like you care. (I couldn't find a picture of it, but I'm still looking!) I guess that's better than that jump away from the pile that Tony Romo did.

Speaking of Romo, his little pinkie's crying wee wee wee all the way home. (Sidenote: Romo really is an unfortunate last name for a really good high school QB) He will be out for at least a month with a broken pinkie on his throwing hand sustained in the Dallas Cowboys' loss to the Arizona Cardinals. I guess this is the one position in the one sport where such an injury would really cause the player to take time off. Broken fingers, especially pinkies, look really gross if they aren't set properly. So for the sake of all of us who will be forced to watch that reality show he and Jessica Simpson will have, I hope it sets properly so we don't have to hear her calling it "yucky." We'll see if any similar Brady-type effects are felt with this loss. The Cowboys have looked shaky (and always manage to get shaken and stirred in the post-season) so I wouldn't call them anywhere near a lock for a Super Bowl, but this certainly changes things. Once again, I'm ecstatic that I was too late for fantasy football this year.

Richard Collier is reportedly out of the hospital. That's good news.

Adam Jones may have cost himself a whole lot more than pissed off hired help. Bad news. Very bad.

One last thing: Braylon Edwards is definitely a star, but why is he the only one they let speak? He's certainly nice to look at and "articulate," so I'm not complaining but I find it interesting they never really talk to anyone else on the team, not even the QB. And the media loves QBs. Does Derek Anderson have a bad stutter?

MYSM: Phelps Likes Rosetta Stone and Lil Wayne

2008-10-13T00:30:00.000-04:00

Let me be clear that I really like and admire Michael Phelps for all that he has accomplished in the pool. He's a ridiculous athlete, personable guy, and I admit I was front and center applauding his record-setting performances in the Beijing Olympics.

Some people, however, should not quit their day jobs. That's OK with me. We can't all be talented in all areas. Apparently, everyone does not buy into this idea.

I thought I had seen enough of Phelps' comedic timing on Saturday Night Live (I thought I was original calling him a fish out of water but some other writer stole my thoughts). Well, the Rosetta Stone folks think there's more for us to see, so they crammed in as many swimming-related jokes as they could in a one minute commercial featuring Phelps. If these folks sell even one more copy of this program than they would have normally sold, I will be shocked.

I want my minute back.

The Quickie Trifecta

2008-10-13T00:15:00.000-04:00

This is shaping into an interesting season for some NFL teams. (I'm ignoring the Adam Jones issues because, really, you get what you pay for.) Interesting in a good way (Atlanta Falcons, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, St. Louis Rams, and of course, the Arizona Cardinals) and a bad way (Dallas Cowboys, Washington Redskins). Teams that are used to losing (Detroit Lions, Oakland Raiders) are not interesting. Good game (finally) for that other Manning brother - Peyton. A blocked field goal sealed the Cardinals win over the Cowboys, who just barely made it into overtime to begin with before that most terrible way to lose. And I take back what I said about the Lions. Their game was actually a little interesting considering it ended in a controversial pass interference call that put the Minnesota Vikings in position to kick a field goal for the win. Although the manner of the ending may have been a surprise, the fact that the Lions lost is not. Maybe if they were in contention for . . . anything, (other than worst team of the last century) then someone would care and maybe even calling for the head of the referee who threw the flag. But the Lions are the Lions, and the ref's job is safe and sound. At least the Lions stimulate the economy. . . .

Monta Ellis may be pissed (although looking at the above pic, he doesn't really look like he gets pissed, does he?) that the Golden State Warriors suspended him 30 games for lying about what happened to his ankle but he should really be glad that they didn't terminate his contract. Of course, he's going to appeal the decision but he doesn't have too much of a bargaining position since what he did made his agreement voidable (i.e., ripped up since riding a motorcycle violates its terms). And former-Run TMC member turned VP of basketball operations for the Warriors, Chris Mullin, has not ruled out the possibility of still voiding the contract if he doesn't play like they paid him to do (read: if he sucks). This will certainly teach him and everyone else that a) lying b) about something that can easily be verified c) where the consequence is losing your livelihood, is just not smart. To any other NBA players currently riding bikes: there are many, many other ways to get your jollies other than by risking your life and career over silliness. Find one.

Speaking of outdoor activities (sorta), the NBA staged its first outdoor game since 1972 in a preaseason matchup between the Phoenix Suns and the Denver Nuggets (minus Allen Iverson and Carmelo Anthony who were injured . . .right) in normally beautiful Indian Wells, California. (Indian Wells is also home to a mini-major WTA and ATP tennis tournament.) The number one priority for the league was to make sure that it didn't rain, so they took a cue from Tony! Toni! Tone! (thank me later) and went with Southern California. However, while it might not rain, it can get a bit nippy in the desert when the sun goes down, which it did on this particular night. They say the temperature was in the mid-60's but felt colder because of the 15 MPH winds. Even the seemingly "insulated" Sir Charles (Barkley) had to put a scarf on by the 4th quarter. I'm not sure this is something the NBA wants to do haphazardly. I'm sure most of these guys haven't really played pick up outside in a long time, either. There are plans to do another preseason game outside next year, and maybe even a regular season game. As for the latter, I can't really see that happening. Unless every team had to play outside at least once during the season, and the game was against a "not serious" contender, I can't see the NBA guys going for this at all. And this game had atrocious shooting and Shaquille O'Neal-level free throw shooting from O'Neal and many other players. (Nuggets' guard Mateen Cleaves had the best combined field goal and free throw percentage on the night . . . also probably the most likely of the bunch to be playing pick up ball outside this summer - coincidence?) Although Melo and AI didn't play, the Nuggets magaged to pull off the win 77-72. Pretty low-scoring for the run and gun west. If that keeps up, once the novelty wears off, so will the fans.

Happy Monday!

(Although it is allegedly also Columbus Day in some circles, I don't believe in Columbus Day, especially if we don't get the day off of work.)

Open Your Mouth and Remove All Doubt

2008-10-10T16:44:00.007-04:00

When it rains it pours. I haven't neglected you all, I just haven't had a spare moment to sleep so writing wasn't exactly at the top of my list.

So I've also been out of the sports loop a little bit but I see there's a lot going on these days. I'm working on borrowed time as I type but I thought you all should see this if you haven't already.

Everyone knows Magic Johnson has HIV. I was there when he played his last All-Star game back in 1992 (wow, I can't believe that was 16 years ago!), and at the time, everyone was in total shock. Magic was and still is the biggest athlete to come forward with his HIV status. It seemed almost certain that he would have died by now. But he has had access to excellent medical care and has really taken care of himself, and, fortunately for all of us as well as the many urban communities he has invested in, he's still here.

So when someone suggests that he faked his AIDS, even in jest, that's just offensive. There aren't too many people who would get a pass for making a statement like that - maybe Chris Rock . . . maybe! - but it all depends on the delivery.

A "shock jock" on a Minneapolis radio station took the lowest road with the worst delivery when he made the statement that Magic "faked AIDS" and added that "he's the only cured AIDS guy ever." The guys on the show laughed, suggesting they found it amusing, but even if this isn't offensive, it just wasn't a funny joke. Anything for ratings, I guess? But oftentimes what gets you the most attention isn't good, and sometimes you even get fired (for a little while, anyway). Here's hoping these guys get more than just a slap on the wrist.

Kudos to Magic for his excellent response:

“I am extremely disappointed in KTLK in Minneapolis. I am outraged that Chris Baker and Langdon Perry would minimize such a serious and deadly issue. Millions are dying from HIV/AIDS and the fact that they would make jokes about my status is unbelievable,” Johnson said. “Chris, Langdon and KTLK should use their power in a more positive light by encouraging people to get tested for this disease instead of making up such ridiculous lies.”

Flying and Running

2008-10-08T00:25:00.007-04:00

I'm leaving on a jet plane this morning. I'm planning to return on Thursday, which might mean no post that day, but I've been known to surprise people including myself. Here's one for the road:

1. There's an update to that Houston Astros' pitcher wedding arrest. It turns out that after the wedding, the group went to the bar. The bride's brother tried to bring an outside drink into the bar when a fight ensued . . . which ended in the brother and his father - the bride's father - getting tasered and pepper sprayed by the police, and the brother airlifted to a hospital. Astros' pitcher Brandon Backe was apparently trying to break up the attack. At first blush, this sounded like a case of "liquid courage," but after reading more details and different takes on it, including eyewitness accounts of what happened, it sounds like the police lost it. (It's too bad that the first charges are against the regular folks and it's not until much later that the cops get charged . . . if they ever do. At least they're investigating it.) Tasing and pepper spray? Pepper spray is not a game. One time, I tried to make a French Open tennis court for my French class (I won't say how old I was because I was definitely old enough to know better). Being creative, I found the perfect substitute for the red clay of Roland Garros: cayenne pepper. You know how they say it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye? It's true. Everything was going well until I got to the part of cleaning of the white lines on the "court." My solution? Blow on them. And it was at that exact moment that I learned what it was like to be pepper sprayed. That was definitely one of the most painful nights of my life. And when I brought my work of art to class, I had to plaster a huge "DO NOT TOUCH - DEATH MAY ENSUE!" sign on it. I also had a taser gun in college (courtesy of my concerned relative) but, thankfully, I have no story connected with that one. The moral of the story is cops shouldn't be able to just spray and tase folks all will-nilly. That's how people get hurt. Just ask R. Kelly.

2. I was right about Reggie Bush. Now that he's gotten more serious about his football, Kim Kardashian's talking about going back (no pun intendd) on Dancing with the Stars. I won't allow it. Not unless they test her for a soul first - if you've watched her dancing on the show, then you understand. Beautiful girl, but wow.

3. Someone is stalking Los Angeles Lakers' forward Luke Walton. Did she get him confused with his dad, Bill? Otherwise, I'm a little confused by her choice. She had already marked up his car, why did he wait until she fired at him with a "fake gun" (Luke's description of the woman making a gun out of her hands) before he decided she wasn't all there? I must note that all of this occurred after he refused to give her an autograph. Luke. . . um, I don't know how to break this to you, but are you really in a position to be refusing autographs? Perhaps you should be grateful that anyone has noticed there are other players on the floor besides Kobe Bryant.

4. NBA legend Elgin Baylor is out as the general manager of the Los Angeles Clippers. The Clippers say he resigned, but Baylor says "you'll be hearing from my lawyers." Baylor is 74 years old and by all accounts hadn't really been running things for years - that was coach Mike Dunleavy's unofficial job, and Dunleavy will now take over Baylor's duties. I don't really get the Clippers. I don't get why they're in L.A. when they already have (and love) the Lakers, and I don't get why they have never quite been able to turn the corner even though they had a few opportunities to do so. So, I guess firing a 74 year old man who was holding his position in name only isn't so far-fetched. I guess that's what you get for messing with the Clippers . . . and the Oakland Raiders . . . and the Detroit Lions . . . and . . .

5. Barry Bonds came out of hiding to tell us he loves his freedom away from baseball. I suppose he is free in that waiting-to-be-sentenced kind of way, but let's not get too far ahead of ourselves . . .

Ain't Nobody Jumpin' Around . . . Ok. So I am.

2008-10-06T23:27:00.007-04:00

Besides losing to the Minnesota Vikings on Monday Night Football, the man sometimes known as Kim Kardasshian's better half had an excellent night. New Orleans' Saints running back Reggie Bush scored on two punt returns, becoming just the 12th man to ever do so.

After watching this game, I have a better appreciation for the fine line between a nice hit and a terrible one. The helmet-to-helmet rule is kind of tough to decipher because slo-mo doesn't always tell the real story. I think the only real difference is whether the "hittee" walks off the field.

The Vikings' own Speedy Gonzalez, Adrian "A.P." Peterson, was pretty quiet tonight, and somewhere, some grown man lost the weekly pool because of it. But the Vikings pulled it out, and that's all that matters. Is it just me or did it look like Reggie Bush was about to cry? They did show a vignette in which Bush said he was trying to focus on football only (read: the real reason Kim decided to do Dancing with the Stars) and stay out of the limelight. I felt for him when he said that he had expected to be one of the top running backs in the league, and decided to get serious. So I'm sure it was particularly frustrating to lose despite his good game. But it was a close one, and the Vikings needed this one to avoid "basement" synonyms. If Bush continues to stay focused (read: makes Kim do another reality show) then I think he has a good shot of achieving his goals.

I only posted the above pic because I want to remind him of pictures we should never, ever see again. Ever. I would, however, like to see him attain those other goals of his. . .

In other news:

How bad do you have to act up to get arrested at a wedding as a member of the wedding party? It would seem to me that if you're in the wedding, you might make an extra effort not to ruin the wedding of your good friend or family member. I'm going to assume alcohol was intimately involved, but there is drinking at a lot of weddings, and these people aren't in their early-20's.

That's the situation facing Houston Astros' pitcher Brandon Backe, who is 30 years old. Cops say they punched him in the face twice before they were able to arrest him after he allegedly refused to back away from a fight. Now, I'm not one to blindly side with the po-po, but I have to assume Backe was out of line. My favorite part of this story is the description of the other people who were involved in the fracas: the bride's father, 19-year old brother, and a FEMA director. I am cracking myself wondering what the FEMA connection could possibly be . . . being inept has never gotten George Bush jumped, so I don't get it . . .

More athletes with legal troubles: Lawrence Phillips once had a job in the NFL as a running back, but now he's looking at ten years behind bars for deliberately running down a group of teenagers after they beat him in a game of pickup football. He also alleged they stole some of his belongings. This wasn't Phillips first sign of trouble. He had previously picked up a domestic abuse charge for striking a woman he was dating at a hotel. During his brief stints in the NFL, he was dismissed once by each of the St. Louis Rams and San Francisco 49ers for insubordination and missing a practice, respectively. . . and then they just turned him loose without any guidance. He played at the University of Nebraska, football country, so he likely had some of his previous indiscretions overlooked for the sake of his talent at a big program. How many more times do we have to watch guys go down like this before we start nipping this stuff early? Sad.

Dancing with the Stars contestant and gold medal volleyball player Misty May-Treanor's dancing days are officially over after the tore her Achilles during dance rehearsals last Friday. I don't even know how you tear an Achilles while you're dancing, especially when you spring out of the sand barefoot all day. I guess that's the epitome of dancing too aggressively, for which the Dancing with the Stars judges had often criticized her. What a terrible feeling to be a professional athlete and ruining your career on a dalliance like dancing. Hopefully, this won't permanently sidetrack her career. I'd also consider sticking to barefoot dancing from here on out if I were her.

This is just such a random "sport."

Kimbo Slice lost his first mixed martial arts (MMA) fight. Now, I swear just a few days ago, they were saying this guy doesn't know anything about MMA, but you couldn't tell by these commentators, calling the fight "the most incredible victory in the history of mixed martial arts."

Another gem: "If you have a dream . . . if you're willing to step into a cage and fight for your life, you . . . can be anything you want!" I may have to start using this as my personal quote.

I don't know much about MMA, but this looks about as real as "rasslin'." (That's "wrestling" for all you northern types). Kimbo lost to a last second replacement - really. The guy he was supposed to fight had to pull out with a cut over his eye just hours before it was scheduled to go down. So Kimbo ended up fighting a guy who probably knows him well but about whom Kimbo knew nothing, not even his name. Still, no excuse for losing in 14 seconds. Although, I wonder if he decided to just throw it instead of getting seriously injured by someone he didn't know. He probably still got paid the same amount, it just wasn't worth the risk. And it wasn't really a competition, so he can do a re-match, kill this guy (not literally, MMA fans, geez), and then re-gain his status. Smart man. (And if this was not the plan, I expect some kind of remuneration for my strategy.)

And By the Way . . .

2008-10-06T02:10:00.004-04:00

I almost forgot to mention that O.J. Simpson was convicted on all 12 counts (wow) in his armed robbery trial. His co-defendant also went down for all of the charges. See? This is why I don't bet. So that means he's going away for a long time (he hasn't been sentenced yet. December 5th.), potentially for the rest of his life.

Of course, O.J.'s people will try to claim that the all-white jury was trying to get him back for getting off for killing his wife and her "lover," but in my experience, jurors take their jobs fairly seriously and try to be fair even when it's difficult (as here, where they were all intimately familiar with at least one of the defendants). People have a conscience about affecting other people's freedoms, and since a unanimous verdict is needed in these cases, there's usually at least one of these people on every jury. The comments from some of the jurors on Simpson's case confirms this. Although Simpson's team had claimed that he didn't know guns were going to be used in the robbery, the "secret" tapes where they talk mention a "piece" ended up mattering more than any other evidence with which the jury was presented. Yup, that'll do it.

Well, O.J., I guess we'll be saying goodbye to you shortly. Come on, you didn't think you could get away twice, did you?

MYSM: Dunkin' Ain't Easy

2008-10-06T01:50:00.004-04:00

The NFL on Sunday was pretty predictable. Bad teams lost (Detroit Lions - just get used to it), and the good teams eked out wins. Some teams whom we believed would be better at this point are looking sorta average, at least in their records (Philadelphia Eagles) while others are continuing their over-achievement streak (Tennessee Titans, Miami Dolphins - even though they're only at .500). The Dallas Cowboys had a scare until the Cincinnati Bengals lowered to the occasion. As usual.

Nice win for the Pittsburgh Steelers, though. On a total side note, how come I never noticed Ben Roethlisberger's "urban drawl" until today? I went back and looked at a few older videos of him and he didn't quite sound like that. Maybe it only creeps up during post-game interviews. I could blame it on rap but then how do you explain Michael Phelps? Although, if Phelps sounded more like Lil' Wayne, I think he could have an interesting endorsement future ahead of him . . .

In other news on Sunday, the Detroit Shock won the WNBA Finals with a sweep of the San Antonio Silver Stars. This is the Shock's third title in six years. Smells like a dynasty. Here comes my first DVR complaint - I set it up specifically to record . . . why didn't these record??!! That means I missed both game 2 and game 3, and since the series is over, I didn't get to see one minute of the finals. And like last time, the one picture I found was of Bill Laimbeer shaking hands. It obviously wasn't meant for me to watch the games and write about it here, but in any event, congratulations to the Shock!

Speaking of sweeps, the Chicago Cubs were swept out of the National League Division Series by the underdog L.A. Dodgers. The Dallas Mavericks of the MLB?

That takes us right into smiling. Today's videos (twice the fun) have one theme in common: dunking. Or I should say, the desire to dunk. A key but often under-appreciated aspect of dunking is actually letting go of the ball. But as attempted dunker #1 so aptly demonstrates, the ability to jump high doesn't matter if you don't include a forward motion. A reminder for us all.

#2. This should never happen. Ever.

Happy Monday!

Running and Winking

2008-10-03T00:38:00.003-04:00

If you're like me, then you not only watched the Vice Presidential debate, but you watched the 6 hour post-game wrap-up and replay on CNN. I actually ventured over to FOX News' website and was surprised to see "liberal" articles. But that doesn't mean I'm going back. Plus, Anderson Cooper's much easier on the eyes and ears than Shepard Smith.

So perhaps you'd welcome a reprieve with a little bit of sports talk. I aim to please:

1. What are the odds that O.J. Simpson would be waiting on a verdict on the anniversary of the last time he received a verdict? An even better question is what the odds are that he'll be acquitted again. Even if I had watched the entire trial (I haven't followed it all), I couldn't tell you with any certainty who would win. A judge I know once told me that even he had been surprised during his many years on the bench by jury verdicts, and the only thing he knows for certain is that you just can't tell. If I were a betting woman, I'd go with not guilty, because somehow I think O.J. was meant to suffer on the outside. Just a feeling . . .

2. Warren Sapp is a jack of all trades. He's toe-tapping on Monday and Tuesday, and Wednesday he's giving football opinions. And he certainly had some interesting things to say. Sapp, who played with the Oakland Raiders before he retired from the NFL in 2007, said in an interview that Al Davis (surprise, surprise) knows old school football with old school athletes, but is about 30 or 40 years behind the times. He also says that Davis would call in plays during the games. Wow. I don't know if that happens in other places but that's the ultimate sign of a control-freak. That's jumping past three levels of people (management, coordinators, and coach) to whom he has supposedly given over control to directly affect what happens on the field. Sapp further confirmed what many others have already pointed out: Lane Kiffin was dead as a doornail before he even got there. What a sad state of affairs out there in Oakland. At least the weather's kind of nice this time of year . . . and it's pretty.

3. What a sad (by Pleats 'n Cleats standards) story. I'm sorry it only gets this little bit of space . . . I may give it more when I have a moment. University of Connecticut freshman Nate Miles, who was to be a forward on the UConn basketball team, has reportedly been expelled from school for allegedly assaulting a fellow female student. Miles has been accused of violating a restraining order issued against him after a UConn student claimed he attempted to force her to have sex with him. Although this does not affect whether he tried to force her to have sex on a particular occasion, it should be noted that the two had been in a consensual sexual relationship since September. Upon finding out that he violated the order by calling the woman 20 minutes after it was issued by the court, the school reportedly expelled him. Wow. I don't know all the facts but that seems harsh, especially in light of the fact that the charges against him could be dismissed if he goes to counseling. I read that he had attended five different high schools, but I don't see how that makes it OK to drop the kid the first time he allegedly messes up. I have to imagine that he must have been on the edge already and this just tipped it. (UConn coach Jim Calhoun has certainly had a challenge with his recruits, eh? Google for the full story.) If Miles did something wrong, he should certainly be punished in a meaningful way and not just slapped on the wrist, but just kicking him to the curb is not the answer. I do hope he receives help if he needs it and is able to either successfully appeal this or find a new program. If he was good enough for UConn, then he's good enough for just about all the other teams around the country. I will definitely be keeping an eye on this one . . .

4. I'm sorry, but I have to switch over just a moment to make this public service announcement: 1) "Nucular" is not a word. It's time to throw out those Bush tapes you used to prepare. 2) Winking is not appropriate during a debate. Twice is grounds for disqualification. 3) General McClellan was a commander in the Civil War. Although a certain candidate may have made his acquaintance, he has been dead for over a century. He probably didn't have much to say about Afghanistan back then. 4) I didn't know you could "choose your own adventure" in books and debates. 5) "Shout out" is so 1990's. "Big ups" would have gone over much better.

5. Ok, I'm back. I just had to get that off my chest. I haven't been much into baseball this year, but the playoffs are usually pretty interesting to me for some strange reason. Maybe it's because I do like baseball but they play too many "doggone" games during the year which dilutes the value in watching any particular game. Even with basketball, unless it's a good team, I can't really just watch any game. (And any sport where you can play twice in a day is borderline an activity anyway. . . but I digress.) I have kept my ear to the ground enough to know that the New York Yankees, despite their bloated salaries, are not in the playoffs, and the Chicago Cubs are looking at a World Series run . . . ok, maybe that's "were." The Cubs have dropped the first two games in their series against the L.A. Dodgers. Shockingly, I missed the game Thursday night in favor of the debate. But I did catch this picture which is worth at least a thousand words (also about the number of people who will approach him at work on Friday). I hope his kids are old enough to enjoy (or be embarrassed by) this and that his wife gets this framed for him.

Enjoy the weekend!

Eternal Rundown of the Youthful Mind(ed)

2008-10-01T22:27:00.009-04:00

This is getting to be a pattern, but I'm running on fumes:

1. Why, Travis, why? Former Denver Broncos' running back Travis Henry was arrested yesterday for allegedly taking part in a cocaine deal. Henry was cut from the Broncos in June following a host of other problems. He was lucky he even got to play last season. The NFL had banned him for the season after failing a drug test, but he successfully had that decision overturned. Of course we don't have all of the facts yet, but it doesn't look like there will be any overcoming this. I hate to see this, but these are the consequences when you let talent cover up personality flaws. Hopefully, it's not too late for him to get his life together, because he has nine (confirmed) children who call him "father" and it's kind of hard to support them when you're unemployed, or in prison.

2. The WNBA Finals between the Detroit Shock and San Antonio Silver Stars started Wednesday night. I made it home in time to catch mention of it on Sports Center, where I was told that there were 6 seconds left in the game. In the 30 seconds it took me to try to figure out what channel ESPN2 is on my TV, the game ended. When I finally found it, I saw Shock coach Bill Laimbeer shaking hands with the Silver Stars. Great game! I tried to find a re-broadcast somewhere but no luck. The day this league gets publicity will be the day . . . the league gets publicity. Too bad. I actually got an e-mail about it earlier today, but that was the extent of it. I did DVR the rest of the games so I'll have more to say. Oh, and Game 1 went to the Shock.

3. Maybe Joey ("my benchmark") Harrington is a master baby bootie knitter. How else do you explain the fact that while Wall Street bankers and other NFL players (like Daunte Culpepper) can't find a job, Harrington has had several since the season started? The only plausible explanation is that he knits a mean bootie for his teammates' children. Just last week, Harrington got canned by the New Orleans Saints on the same day that Matt Millen lost his job. But Wednesday, the Saints picked him back up (Millen, as far as I know, is still out of work). Harrington was the third overall pick in the NFL draft (by the Detroit Lions, but still, third is third), but he's tops on my list of current QB's who are out of their league. I kind of feel bad for the guy because he takes a lot of flak for his poor play. Maybe it's the teams' fault for putting him in the position to be a bust. But either way, the fact that he continues to be gainfully employed is nothing short of amazing. Or crazy.

4. Terrell Owens seldom fails to cause chatter about himself. In defending his statements made the other day about not getting the ball, T.O. says he said it out of anger at the loss and not because of any particular problems with the Dallas Cowboys offense (or to be more specific, Tony Romo. He ended with a promise to us all that this will not be the last time he talks about wanting the ball. He also addressed his "haters" - without saying anything, during the entire interview, he continually refers to ESPN commentator and former NFL wide receiver Keyshawn Johnson as "Sheshawn." (The back drop is that the Cowboys signed T.O. when they dropped Johnson.) Following Owens' remarks, Johnson and others had said on-air that Owens needs a good talk to address his behavior. Owns shot back: "He is the ultimate underachiever on that panel," Owens said of Johnson. "I am the reason he is in the booth. Everybody is aware when I was brought to Dallas he was the one they let go to get me here." No one has ever denied that T.O. speaks the truth, but his delivery really leaves a lot to be desired . . . as an avid reader so aptly put it, "speaking something that may be true doesn't always mean you're right." I couldn't have said it better myself.

5. Normally, I do not write about myself on here, and probably never have in a run-down, but this was sports (if not news) worthy so it's rounding out my top five. I consider myself to be in pretty decent shape, and actually, have been working out a lot harder than I have in my post-college athlete days. Although I'm far removed from those days, I like to trick my body into believing that I'm not. Only my body is much smarter than I am, and it, like the house, always wins. I can't tell you how many of my friends who are former athletes have broken and torn things in the last year due to having a youthful mind but a body that hasn't quite adjusted. Wednesday, I came out of retirement for the first time in a very long time with my "youthful mind" in tow. I played fairly well, felt good. All was going well . . . until I lay (is that right, dad?) down on the couch. Just now, after getting through the first four stories, I tried to stand up. And it hurts, so I may not try that again until tomorrow . . .

Running Down Weird Al

2008-10-01T01:48:00.007-04:00

Jumping right in:

1. I'm calling this "He's not who I thought he was." (Thank you, Denny Green). The Al Davis (aka Oakland) Raiders will have a new coach, per Mr. Davis himself:

You have to watch the rest of the press conference because this guy is a trip. Among other claims, Davis says that now-former coach Lane Kiffin was trying to lose and was looking for other jobs. (Can he blame him?) And he's not trying to pay Kiffin the remainder of his salary (hence the "for cause" pronouncement from Davis, for all you non-legal types). Kiffin was none too pleased by what amounted to a public shaming of Kiffin by Davis. And like the other two bottom-feeder teams (Lions and Rams) that have shaken things up in the past week, they're probably not going to change much anytime soon. Hey, at least these teams are acting like they care. But the Raiders are now on their fifth coach in almost as many years, and I don't think many people believe Al Davis really cares about much more than Al Davis. I won't stoop so low as other folks who are wishing death upon the man, but Davis might consider loosening that vice grip so people will start taking his team seriously . . . but he won't, so I won't argue with him.

2. Speaking of shake ups, Marc Bulger is a happier man after being restored to starting QB of the St. Louis Rams by new coach Jim Haslett. Trent Green might not like this move, but he should really be ecstatic that he's been spared from the sieve-like Rams offensive line. As Dan Quayle once said, "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." Look at this as a blessing in disguise, Trent.

3. Warren "Twinkle Toes" Sapp is on Dancing with the Stars this season. Check out his paso doble:

I have new found respect for extremely large football players. I am absolutely amazed at how huge and light on his toes he is - awesome footwork. I'm not sure about those Matrix costumes, though.

4. Ricky Williams has a problem. The Miami Dolphins had a bye week, which left Ricky with nothing to do. He thought to himself "I'm free, what can I do?" While you and I may have considered running errands, returning phone calls, or maybe spending time with friends or family, Ricky wanted to use his freedom to smoke weed. But he didn't, not because it's illegal, but because if he does, he will not get another chance in the NFL. (Why he decided to share this is anyone's guess, but it's Ricky, he does that.) But then you go on to read that he gets 9 random drug tests every month. That's more than twice a week of people showing up at your door at various times of the day. So I guess they don't really believe you'd stop smoking on your own, Ricky. And he says that he'd be lying if he said he wasn't going to smoke weed when he's done with the NFL (let's hope that means retired by choice and not by force). This guy . . .

5. One basketball story: An avid Pleats 'n Cleats reader passed along this story about University of Wisconsin basketball player, Marcus Landry, who is married with two kids, and still makes time for school. His wife also played college basketball, but at Marquette University. Landry's not just a father, he's also a "dad" to his two little ones, tucking them in at night and bringing his son to team meetings. Although it shouldn't be a big deal when a man like Landry takes care of his responsibilities, the reality is that this kind of maturity is exemplary, especially in the demanding college basketball setting. His kids will certainly thank him for it. It's stories like this that raise the bar for everyone else. Love it.

Rundown From the Stuffed Up

2008-09-30T01:20:00.009-04:00

My head is stuffy today. I don't know if it's allergies or whether I'm getting sick, but I do know one thing: we're running:

1. Tragic update today on Jacksonville Jaguars offensive tackle Richard Collier. While it looks like he will live, he's going to be paralyzed from the waist down and had to have his leg amputated. He was shot 14 times. Wow. The shots to the groin apparently caused clotting which required amputation. His agent says he's down and out because he won't be able to fulfill his lifetime dream. I can't imagine how he must feel. I hope they're keeping an eye on him because this is a lot for a man of his age and potential to take. I also hope that he finds his new purpose in life, because he does have one if he can find the will to keep living. Keep your head up, Collier.

2. In other sad news, last Wednesday, the 3-month old son of Tampa Bay Buccaneers' kicker Matt Bryant, Tryson, died suddenly in his sleep. It wasn't clear if Bryant, who had kicked the winning field goal the week before, would play this past Sunday. But he flew in from the funeral and not only played in the game, his field goal put the Bucs ahead of the Green Bay Packers for good. His teammates played harder for him and he rose to the occasion. I've said before that sports are a microcosm of life. Well, sometimes, they are therapy for life. My condolences to the Bryant family.

3. In happier news, Josh Howard apologized for his actions while addressing the media on the Dallas Mavericks' first day of training camp. In apologizing for his actions from the past 5 months, Howard said "this is not the way I carry myself . . ." but I say, au contraire, mon frère! This is how you carry yourself. The trick is to not get carried away . . .

4. Terrell Owens is turning on yet another QB. Just when you thought all was rosy in T.O. Land, it turns out all is still the same. By still the same, I mean still a mess - and still screwing himself out of endorsements. Following the Cowboys loss to their arch-rival Washington Redskins, T.O. had only complaints about not getting the ball from his formerly-beloved QB Tony Romo. Somewhere, despite the Cowboys' record, Jeff Garcia and Donovan McNabb are ecstatic that they aren't in Romo's position, even if that means they don't get to [sing country music] with Jessica Simpson.

5. Somehow, in the course of one week, I missed the entire WNBA Eastern and Western Conference Finals. The finals, which start on Wednesday, will feature the Detroit Shock and the San Antonio Silver Stars (seriously, who approved that name?). I didn't, however, miss this quote from Shock coach Bill Laimbeer: "You can't win the championship unless you're in the finals, and we're there." I'll cut Bill some slack because it probably sounded better before he saw it in print. It looks like I'll have to DVR this series in order to find some mention of it. . .

6. (I considered mentioning Monday Night Football here, but other than the overtime win, and Ray Lewis' usual antics, there wasn't much to report. Nice win, Steelers.) The Detroit Lions can take solace in the fact that at least one team in the NFL may - incredibly - be worse than they are: the St. Louis Rams. After benching QB Marc Bulger, Rams coach Scott Linehan got one better than the bench. He got the boot. You know it's bad when you blow it up with 12 more games to go. Whether this will be the same script, different cast remains to be seen . . . no, it doesn't. We can clearly see that winter in the Midwest started in September.

Pleats 'n Cleats Goes to Nike Town

2008-09-29T23:15:00.013-04:00

Just outside of Portland languishes one of the most awesome places to work. Not that I know because I work there, but just by the looks of it, it's definitely more awesome than where I work.

For instance, when I walk into my job, there's no Tiger Woods conference center. (We also have pre-historic rotary phones, but that's a story for another day.)

And neither does Tiger Woods stop by my job. There's also no running trail, no Olympic track, and no exchange like the following has ever occurred: "I work in Ken Griffey Jr. Where are you?" "I'm over at Mia Hamm." Yes, the buildings are named after Nike's favorite athletes, including Nolan Ryan, Bo Jackson, and His Airness, of course.

But here, in Beaverton, Oregon, home of Nike, you can say all that. You can also work and lunch outside. Do you know how badly I want to be able to work outside? I'd stay all day (I guess I should add "without complaining" since I already stay all day) if we could work outside.

There's even a soccer goal in front of this one:

My camera died during my visit (just playing dead, I later discovered) so these pictures don't quite capture the woodsy and serene essence of the Nike campus. In a word: beautiful. Although, to be fair, I probably went on one of the nicest days of the entire year. (What can I say, Mother Nature is my homegirl).

While on campus (as they call it), you might even run into an athlete or two (or ten) in one of the two workout facilities boasting state of the art equipment, which the employees can access for free. This place really is like a college campus, and not a small one, either. I asked if there were places to sleep but was told I'd have to go home.

Another perk: employees get 50% off in the Nike employee store. I even saw a former NBA star in there with his family (I won't ID him since he wasn't there for publicity) so I guess this place must be a really good deal (or the economy is just that bad. Or both). My "tour guide" believes we passed Phil Knight en route to the store, but I can't confirm that. It is also due to this tour guide that I have refrained from inserting a joke here. (Sometimes I wish I weren't such a nice person . . .)

Shout out to a few employees inside. First, I'd like to say thank you to the guy who helped me pick out my running shoes - the Nike Air Zoom Vomero +3. I love them. I get the feeling that he wasn't expecting to provide full-service in that setting, so I appreciate his patience - and at least I bought the shoes! And, kudos to the guy at the front counter who explained the NCAA policy forbidding student-athletes from receiving the "extra benefit" of the employee store (under certain circumstances). Since I'm a lawyer (and am not shy with my opinion on NCAA policies) I had to find the hypothetical that would make the rule not make sense, and he was ready with his lawyer-like explanation. I was impressed (and I was right)!

The only downside I could see to working at Nike is . . . nothing, really. I submitted my application to the security guard on the way out. I'm willing to work my way up . . . or jump in the path of LeBron James' car so I can get paid. Whatever it takes.

MYSM: Dancey Dance Time with Amare

2008-09-29T00:03:00.002-04:00

Just returning from another field trip, this time to Nike Town, USA, aka Beaverton, Oregon. Pics and story to come tomorrow . . .

This means I didn't quite catch the (football) games today, but I'll catch up with everything tomorrow . . . I hope. Some surprising results, n'est-ce pas? KC and Cleveland won (the latter not quite as impressive as the former. Good for Big Herm), the Cowboys and Eagles lost (the latter to da Bears), and Brett Favre set a career high in TD passes. The fact that he's setting records that have nothing to do with his longevity is quite impressive. I guess he was feeling better. Keep it up, New Yorkians will love you. Looks like that small bet on a random team might end up a big payoff come Super Bowl time.

Happy Monday!

Amare
Uploaded by bsap11

Phoenix Suns star Amare Stoudemire is our special friend, earning him his first spot on MYSM. Hey, at least he's trying to do something for the kiddies. I can dig it!

I'm also digging the leg of the blue thing in the back who appears to be some kind of step class enthusiast. Someone tell him/her/it that's not good dribbling form.

Go crazy!!

Run Out of Town

2008-09-25T23:46:00.009-04:00

Packing (or should be) for another weekend of adventure. And so we run:

1. I watched my second college football game this season, coincidentally involving the USC Trojans again, this time against the Oregon State University Beavers. Ok, not so coincidentally, because USC is the #1 team in the country, but, still coincidentally because I hadn't planned to watch it. Oregon State has USC's number, huh? Wow. I was looking around at some other sports blogs during the game and saw that most had pretty much dismissed Oregon State, despite last year's defeat of the Trojans. OSU (the other one) had this tiny tailback, Jacquizz (?) Rodgers who they say is 5'6" but looked to be about six inches less than that on the field. And I've seen some 5'8" guys in the NFL and this guy was nowhere near that. I'm guessing he's closer to a Prince-ly 5'4" (Rogers, ironically, is Prince's middle name). What's with short stars at Oregon schools? University of Oregon basketball player Tajuan Porter, one of the better players in the PAC-10, is also reportedly 5'6", but I think this is just an acceptable cutoff height. In any case, Rodgers, the self-proclaimed "little dude," lit up USC for 186 yards on 37 carries. Most yards on USC since . . . Vince Young in the BCS national championship game back in 2006 - another college football game I watched. His older brother and OSU wide receiver, James (why'd they do that to the younger one?), had two scores of his own. That's quite a story to tell to their kids . . . just like Al Bundy, but real. USC tried to come back in the second half, but the Beavers held off the Trojans (um . . .) for the win. Just another example of why they still play the game.

2. Kimbo Slice on PTI.

I don't know too much about his "sport" - mixed martial arts (coincidentally, I mentioned it on the blog the other day for the first time in the WNBA post) - but I am somewhat familiar with his story: homeless streetfighter on YouTube to superstardom as an ultimate fighter. What I didn't know is that he went to the University of Miami on an academic scholarship, even though he was a talented football player in high school. After watching this interview, I'm not surprised. My dad actually sent me a text last night asking me to post on Kimbo (I just can't call him Slice), but when I saw him on PTI, I realized daddy-o was right. His "five good minutes" Thursday is one of the better interviews I've seen in a while. "I'm just a little squirrel in this big world and I'm still trying to get my nut." Very regular person doing extraordinary things. Love it.

3. I'm calling this one "Knicks betta have my money!" Continuing with the video theme, Stephon Marbury and his chest decided to come out of hiding on Thursday. Starbury sat down with a local NBC affiliate to discuss all the rumors about what he will be doing (or where he will be sitting) when the Knicks season starts. He says he's not taking a penny less than the Knicks owe him (which he shouldn't, they're the ones who agreed to pick up his hefty contract when he came from the Phoenix Suns). He also says he's mentally, spiritually, and physically right . . . I'll stop my cynicism here because, say what you want about Marbury, I really do think he's a good person. He could maybe use some work on his delivery. It's a fairly long interview, but certainly one worth watching (although the difference in volume between Marbury (low) and the reporter (high "deaf") may get annoying).

4. The NFL has ruled that the Baltimore Ravens running back Willis McGahee was not intentionally gouged in the eye during the Ravens win over the Cleveland Browns last Sunday. The Ravens submitted film to the league for a determination on whether the alleged "gougings" (two times in two separate incidents) were intentional. Apparently, the films showed the opposing Browns' players reaching under the visor to poke McGahee in the eye. Now McGahee may not play due to the injury to his eyes. Eye gouging? Is this 2008 B.C. or A.D.? You don't hear that term too often these days, probably with good reason. The last time eye gouging got my attention was in fifth grade when they showed us The Birds for Halloween. I won't spoil it for you in case you haven't seen it yet - even though you've had 45 years - but all I know is I have never liked birds ever since. Hmm. Ravens = birds. Creepy.

5. Monta Ellis, the ~~over~~ well-paid guard for the Golden State Warriors, claimed that he got scraped up and ripped up his ankle playing basketball. Surprise! Since exactly no one has ever been injured in basketball that way, it turns out Ellis was fibbing, and he really got hurt while riding a moped. At a slow speed. Of course. If you're going to lie (which I don't condone) then at least make it make sense. He had to have known the truth would come to light at some point, so now not only did he lie, but he told a really bad lie. Of course, on the flip side, he had everything to lose. Literally. That $66 million they're paying him for the next 6 years could have gone up in smoke. Under the terms of the standard NBA contract, Ellis violated the provision covering (pardon my French) "******** up your career doing some dumb ****." Really, I quoted that verbatim. They ought to add "poor lying" to the terms, too, which should be worth at least a few extra paychecks. He's just lucky that they need him now that Baron "I make sand castles with Jessica" Davis has defected for the Sacramento Kings. Hopefully he has learned his lesson.

And I've learned mine. I need more time and sleep! Enjoy the presidential debates (if they happen) and the weekend (pretty likely to happen)!

The Cycle of Suck

2008-09-25T00:01:00.001-04:00

(Since I first started writing this several days ago, the Detroit Lions have unloaded their 7 year itch and team president, Matt Millen, giving the fans what they want, just not exactly when they wanted it. The timing couldn't have been better for this post, though. See? Every cloud does have a silver lining. )

Several teams are still undefeated in the NFL right now . . . and a few are still waiting for that ever elusive first win. Some will continue to wait for a few more weeks. Some will wait forever.

Mainstream media loves winners. Sure, they talk about losers, but it's not usually the top story unless no winner was also involved (i.e., the Lions firing of Millen, or a story on top 10 worst teams of all time).

But you learn more from losing than you do from winning.

Continually awful teams in professional sports and the fans who love/loathe them are an interesting study in how sport really is a microcosm of life (thanks, dad). In this post, I will take a trip through the "suck cycle" and then wrap up with my two cents on why we, the fans, still stick around to its completion. I decided against giving examples so that the trip can be a personal one. Here we go . . .

There are a few characteristics that apply to just about every awful team: They make few bold moves in the off-season. They're used to being hated so they keep using unquantifiable terms like "rebuild" or "taking it one game at a time." (So when they're still "rebuilding" after 20 years, perhaps they meant waiting for good players to be born?) They ignore the boos from their fans during draft day every year when they pick a dud . . . again, and the resounding boos during the game directed at the latest asinine trade. They even ignore the protest parades through the streets where people carry dolls on sticks dressed like management (yes, that has happened).

But despite all of this, every year, the fans get excited that this will be "the year" . . . just to come to the realization that the happiest moment of the year was the night before the first game. Then, before they know it, 30 years have passed, and while we've all had our ups and downs, the team's only "up" was that hiccup when they made it to the playoffs. Maybe even the finals. That one year. Back in '89. (Or was it '98?) You also remember the entire stat line of anyone who played that game. From time to time, you might even pop in that Betamax of the game that you just knew would be a collector's item when they finally won . . . but you're still waiting.

The "awful" process also tends to follow a familiar pattern:

In the beginning, when they first start stinking, the players individually get the blame - no offense, weak defense, too many turnovers/penalties, off-court/field knuckleheadism, etc. The player's stock may begin to drop at this point unless his individual numbers are at or near the top of the league.

Then, inevitably, the losing continues, perhaps an entire season or more, even though some of the key players have changed. All it takes is one player whom we once considered to be good to come to the team and fail. "It can't be just the players," we say. "Let's keep looking up the chain. The coach. It must be his fault."

But then, that well-respected coach comes to town and he can't turn it around either. Frustration increases, and we're in denial, because we know if player and coach were legit, the fight to get to "good" may be out of our hands. Sadly, that can only mean one thing: the crap is systemic. If a player or a coach sucks, and the fans are behind it, then management probably sees it, too, and acts accordingly. But when blame has made its way up to management level, then we know we're battling an owner who could well be immune to the wants of the people if s/he/they is/are getting paid (read: really paid) regardless of the team's performance. I'm really sitting on my hands here not to provide examples, but I'm keeping my word . . . (And by the way, any time the casual fan knows management by name, rest assured you have yourselves a crappy team.)

And so the "Fire ______!" chant goes on, because if we've gotten this far, then dagnabit, we're not stopping until we get a response. Even if responding wouldn't immediately help the team, we'll take anything because nothing is worse than doing nothing at all. And sometimes, when we least expect it, many years after the first tear was shed, the owner responds and fires management.

An interesting phenomenon occurs when management is the scapegoat: The players can pretty much crap (literally) on the field and we wouldn't care. Of course, we'd complain, but that would just take us right back to how poor management is. I can't imagine this is good for the psychology of the player, though. It has to make them worse off in the long run, even if they would have been decent had they never been sent to this black hole of a team. Maybe that's what happened to [insert name of once-thought good player who came to the team and never recovered.]. On second thought, no, [insert name of QB player who recently lost a job in the NFL] really is that bad.

But what happens if the new management never picks winners? While we like to think there is some science to this, the truth is, every draft and every trade involves a gamble, and hindsight is always 20/20. If the streak of no winners continues for years, then does that mean it's time for a new owner, and if so, do we publicly campaign to force the sell?

Alas, even when we think we've gotten what we wanted (i.e. old management is gone), we come to another sad realization: there is no clear cut solution to what ails the team. We can track what past teams have done and say that's what needs to be done, but I think good results are more of a "perfect storm" than a "perfect science." As I've said in the past, winning covers up a multitude of sins.

When the team is that bad, I truly think the best idea is to blow it up and start over. The fans will remain post-blow up. In fact, most of us would probably encourage the blow up. Just look how long we've stuck out the suffering and not given up. Because, despite the overwhelming odds that the team is going to continue to suck, we still go to the games, we still watch the drafts, we still post "______ sucks! and "fire ______!" messages on the web.

The reason we remain is simple: Deep down (very deep for the most negative among us), we all want to have hope for the best - even if it's just in our sports team. And so the season starts over from scratch every year, and they play the game even though we think we already know the outcome ('08 Super Bowl, anyone? Sorry, my only example!).

And we demand change, because if things change, then we can still have hope that things will improve. But even if we're not 100% certain of the outcome, if the alternative is more of the same thing that created the abysmal situation, then change looks like a much better option.

Yes, I'm still talking about sports . . . among other things.

Back In Action

2008-09-23T21:56:00.019-04:00

Finally! Well, since I missed Monday and Tuesday, and most of you have had a chance to digest football from the weekend (and I'm holding on to my other football article until tomorrow) we're going to check in on some of the other leagues (yes, football is included):

Word on the street is that Stephon Marbury may have seen his last days as a New York Knickerbocker. What, waiving the best point guard in the league? Maybe it was the chess games in the car with interns. The word claims that there will be a buyout of Starbury's $21.9 million contract, which would put the Knicks well at the top of the list of the NBA's best/worst buyouts of all time. In case you're not familiar with how this works, buyouts occur when a team discovers that no other team will pay what they are paying for a particular player, making a trade not possible, but the team still wants to clear roster space to bring in someone other than the overpaid player. So the team literally pays the bought-out player not to play. (I know, I'm trying to figure out a way to make this happen at my job.) Who better than the Knicks to be involved when explaining buyouts?

But the word from new President (since Zeke departed the post) Donnie Walsh doused the flames on all that with some crazy talk. He says that the Knicks expect Marbury to come to camp . . . and they're expecting Allan Houston to come back, too. That was unexpected. So here's what I think happened: Houston's returned reminded them of the last time they paid someone $20 million not to play. Then the Knicks thought to themselves "Ya know, it's not worth another $20 million to be a good team in the best sports market in the country. It's not. If we keep adding players that other teams don't want and our draft picks get booed every year, we'll have a championship in no time." And then they struck the part about winning a championship and inserted just a question mark.

No fear, Knicks fans, you're likely to still have your same old (read: terrible) team to kick around, whether Marbury's there or not. If they let him go, who do they have to replace him? Sure, they've signed a guard - Anthony Roberson. . . 'nuf said. They can't really afford (not just monetarily) to buy out Marbury's contract and still pick up a solid, established player who would want to come into that situation. This last part is the key. The Knicks organization reminds me of another poorly run outfit in another city that has also become the laughing stock of the entire league. But the Knicks are even more special because they ensure that talented players don't shine there under any circumstances. Here's hoping Marbury is in the great shape they say he is and that former Phoenix Suns/new Knicks coach Mike D'Antoni can bring some of his winning ways - or at least mentality - out east . . .

I'm checking out these WNBA Finals. I'm currently watching the L.A. Sparks vs. the Seattle . . . wait, let me look that up . . . Storm. It's the elimination game, as they're calling it, with the winner going to the Western Conference Finals. The Storm actually has Sue Bird, although she didn't have a great first half. The Sparks, on the other hand, has Lisa Leslie and Candace Parker - the top two jersey sellers in the league - who, not coincidentally, are also the top scorers in this game. I'm no Nostradamus but I have a really, really good feeling that the Sparks are going to win this one. Let's just say I saw some highlights from the Detroit Shock game in which the only fans in the arena were seated in the lower third rows. I think they'll pick up more than just the diehard fan if/when the Sparks make it. I just saw a Storm player try to drive on Leslie and Parker . . . and come away with a blocked shot and some alone time with the hardwood. And mic'd up coaches - which mics occasionally catch a raucous fan seated nearby. And (female) commentators who aren't afraid to call like they see it. Fun to watch.

This brings me to another point. I just watched the Storm's coach talk to the ladies in the locker room. How come men can coach women's sports but women can't coach men's? When will we break through this, one of the last remaining glass ceilings? I may have to do a write up on this soon . . .

Quarterback Swap is on again. This week's victim is past MVP Pro Bowler Marc Bulger of the ailing St. Louis Rams. At least they're making some changes . . . . There's not much further down to fall than 0-3 after three weeks. . . but 0-4 after four weeks is a sure sign that the end is imminent. The man starting in Bulger's place is none other than Trent "walking endorsement for the anti-concussion helmet" Green. (I briefly considered posting a picture of him on a stretcher but I'm just not that cruel. Instead, I went with a picture of Bulger in a pose that may become more familiar to him over the next few weeks.) Last season, when Green was a Miami Dolphin, I suggested in my post that he ought to be nicer to the O-line if he wants to avoid having his block knocked off. Well, at least if he gets rocked (and I sincerely hope he does not - this article says it all), he will know that it's not because they don't want to protect him, they just . . . can't.

It looks like Bulger may have pine-riding company in Cleveland Browns QB Derek Anderson . . .

Turning to a place I don't turn too often: golf. (No, really. My brand new clubs are still sitting here untouched). The U.S. team actually won the Ryder Cup (that U.S. vs. Europe golf competition) for the first time in nine years, without the help of Tiger Woods. I don't think this is such a fluke or coincidental at all, and though the Brits apparently are blaming Nick Faldo for their loss, I think there is a far less complex explanation: no Tiger. It's hard to focus on your game when you're more concerned with matching up with your teammate than you are with beating the other team. Unfortunately, the "Tiger-effect" falls to other players too, effectively rendering anyone who doesn't win a major or compete with Tiger on the final day of an event virtually anonymous. This was confirmed when I failed to recognize most of the younger guys on the U.S. roster. But maybe this is just what they needed to get themselves on the map. Until Tiger returns, anyway.

Rutgers University QB Mike Teel threw an interception and then a punch at his teammate, Glen Lee, just during a game Rutgers eventually lost to Navy last Saturday. Rutgers' coach Greg Schiano has decided not to punish the QB, saying the situation "was over and done with." Does it help that this teammate was a reserve defensive back who was trying to tell Teel to keep his head up? Look, I know he was frustrated, but if the situation had been reversed, I wouldn't be surprised if Lee had been kicked off the team. Lee supported the move not to punish Teel, calling it a "family" matter (over and over again). In all the key players' own words:

I should have counted how many times they all used the word "family" in this video. It has to be on par with Allen Iverson's love for "practice." One of them blamed it on being "competitive." I'm competitive, but I've never attempted to punch a teammate in the mouth, and neither do most people (even though we all may have wanted to more than a few times). Lee sounds like a battered spouse. I don't know what happened behind closed doors, or why Lee appears literally to be taking the punch, but I get the sneaking suspicion that it's directly proportional to his perceived importance to the team. Yuck. I know Schiano doesn't want to go 0-4 and miss that bowl game they're used to attending, but your QB's out of control, buddy. This one gets a thumbs way down.

But I'd like to end this post on a thumbs up, which goes out to Ball State University football wide received Dante Love. Love had been having a stellar season thus far, picking up where he left off as an All-Mid-American first team standout. On Saturday, Love was injured during Ball State's win over Indiana University when he collided with an Indiana cornerback. I've read that his head dipped at the last moment, which is almost always followed by injury. Unfortunately, they're saying that Love's injury will end his career, but that he will be able to live a normal life - meaning he likely won't be paralyzed (and if he's able to move now, then that's probably the case). The one consolation I can offer Love is that "they" have been wrong many times before. While I certainly wouldn't encourage him to come back before he is ready, it doesn't necessarily have to be over just because they say it is. I really hate to see anyone's hopes and dreams dashed in an instant - especially at his age and in his situation. But even if he never plays again, I believe things happen sometimes to teach you a lesson that you wouldn't have learned otherwise or to push you in a direction that you may not have otherwise considered. Hopefully, in time, it will all make sense to him. Two thumbs WAY up for a speedy recovery.

To Tide You Over

2008-09-23T02:43:00.004-04:00

No rest for the weary. Work hard, play hard, then work hard again. So little time, I can't even do a rundown. I'll try again tomorrow night, but I don't want to make promises that I can't keep. Something tells me my topic of choice will still be relevant any day of this season . . .

Instead, I thought I'd keep the smiles going into Tuesday . . . click here and here for past MYSM's. (Yes, one day, I'll make these into one label). Please watch Carl Lewis' rendition of the national anthem if you're in a bad mood. Studies have shown that it is impossible to feel down after multiple viewings.

So I'm adding Jerry Stackhouse's rendition, just to combat any idea that athletes must be tone deaf.

Or clickhere for my Michael Vick coverage since people seemed to like that. Not to mention he took up the most real estate on this blog over the past year or so. I must have missed this one, but it looks like he has been keeping up with his skills while he's away.

Hopefully, I'll be back in action tomorrow. . .

MYSM: Stuffed Shaq

2008-09-22T11:29:00.002-04:00

Late (very late) night, so I need to catch up on my DVR'd football games. I have a partial post analyzing the "terrible team" cycle, but it's not quite ready for prime time . . .

This may not be funny to everyone but it has to be one of the best blocks I've ever seen (ok, borderline foul with the body, but up top it was all ball), especially if you can appreciate the degree of difficulty it takes to stuff Shaq hard enough to send him crumpling to the ground. Definitely one of Ben Wallace's better days.

Endweek Downrun

2008-09-19T00:00:00.001-04:00

Long day tomorrow . . . and the rest of the weekend. I received a nice comment on the Kenny George article from someone who works at his school. I hope to be able to follow up on his story at some point down the road.

Unfortunately, the following stories don't quite inspire the same hope (well, I guess that depends on your perspective), but I believe in balance. Jumping right in:

1. Michael Beasley has now been fined $50,000 for unspecified conduct during the rookie orientation program in which his fellow rookies, Darrell Arthur and Mario Chalmers already coughed up $20,000. I had heard rumors about his involvement but nothing was ever substantiated so I certainly wasn't going to write anything unless it seemed credible. (It's tough enough being in the public eye without people writing untruths about you and presenting it as fact.) But it seems something went down, and the punishment appears to be just that - punitive - since Beasley didn't cooperate with the investigation. Something else seems to be going on, though, since Beasley canned his agent last week, too. I'm sure we'll find out more about this shortly . . .

2. The WNBA playoffs have started. What? You didn't know they were in season? Maybe you couldn't find their tab on ESPN.com. It's kind of hard to find under "mixed martial arts." What happened to that big marketing push they started when Candace Parker came to the league? I haven't seen her or anyone else on TV since the night she was drafted. SportsCenter very rarely mentions the league unless a fight or other controversy occurs. Did they even compete in the Olympics? I'm going to tune in to the playoffs, though. I watched them last year and was quite entertained. I just wonder how long the NBA will continue funneling money to this league without doing more to promote it. It's like they don't want to end it and face criticism that they're being sexist, but on the other hand, they want to see it fail so they can say "I told you no one was into this." We'll see who wins.

3. Just a day after talking about both Adrian Peterson and LaDainian Tomlinson (AP and LT, respectively), neither was able to practice today, and it's not clear they'll play this weekend . . .and the fantasy football bust just keeps moving . . .

4. Speaking of busts, the Detroit Lions have been "interviewing" several former high-profile running backs this week who are looking for jobs, including Cedric Benson (da Bears) and Shaun Alexander (Seahawks), among others. The Lions claim that they aren't hiring immediately and are only window shopping in case of injuries. Sure, I buy that. Now, they probably have a greater need at just about every other position, so more RB's may not make sense, but the Lions are at (or past, depending on whom you ask) the point of no return, so I say anything is better than stagnancy. Whoever gets his luggage lifted first has been signed.

5. Alex "A-Rod" Rodriguez and his (now former) wife Cynthia reached an amicable settlement of their divorce proceedings. No dirt and public mud-slinging? That's definitely a first, especially considering how the events surrounding their divorce were splashed across the New York dailies for the better part of a month until she finally decided to file. So this relatively quick settlement can only mean one of two things: 1) the prenuptial agreement was air tight, fair to both parties, and contained no terms which could be disputed by either of their lawyers . . . or 2) whatever he's trying to hide is worse than we imagined. I know, I know, this is a tough one.

Have a great weekend!

When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong

2008-09-17T23:50:00.021-04:00

Why does there always seem to be a camera around when ignorance is present? Or do cameras bring out the ignorance in people?

I'm going to go with the former on this one just based on the past history of the Dallas Mavericks star Josh Howard. Howard was attending a charity football game put on by Allen Iverson and friends. Some kid (is he famous?) was going around with his camera talking to participants in the game. While the national anthem was being sung nearby, Howard exclaimed to the camera "'The Star-Spangled Banner' is going on right now. I don't even celebrate that ****. I'm black ********." He then added "Obama '08. Obama and all that ****."

Apparently, Howard doesn't know or doesn't care that if you're on video, whatever is said or done on the video may come back to haunt you (see: Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian/Ray J. . . R Kelly). Heck, not only will the video probably be seen by other people, it may even end up on this totally obscure website that posts videos, which people might be able to find on another seldom used search engine. And if all that happens, and you're an athlete, chances are you will end up on a sports channel of some type, which might post said video on its also fairly unpopular website.

I'm positive that all of these things weren't going through Howard's head when he decided to let loose, but I was hoping that maybe just one of these sunk in at some time prior so he didn't have to think when the camera turned his way. The one thing that is clear from this video is that thinking probably did not occur.

I'm not posting his video here because I don't like the content (the whole video, not just the few seconds featuring Howard), but you can find it on the Internets somewhere.

Now, Josh Howard clearly has some issues. Among other things, he has admitted to occasionally smoking weed (apparently some Nittany Lions do, too), and didn't want to play for the U.S. Olympic team because he said it "conflicted with his summer training camps." Since guys way better than him can do it, he really could have kept that one.

I don't even understand what his comments are supposed to mean, to be honest. What I do understand is that he probably thought he was being funny and had no clue (at the time) how ignorant he may have sounded to others. And most importantly, I don't think he considered that the video might end up on the Internet. Apparently, it was a cell phone camera, so that's not so far-fetched, I guess. It has actually been up for almost two months but apparently no one got wind of it until the past day or so.

Had Howard been aware of the import of his statements, he would know that every comment made by one black person reflects on the group as a whole. If you think I'm making this up, check out the comments on ESPN.com's article on this story. Of course, all black people are not unpatriotic, so he was speaking for himself and not anyone else. Unfortunately, he's just feeding into what some people already think ... the same people jumped on Michelle Obama for her alleged lack of patriotism when she said she was proud of her country for the first time. Yes, there are plenty of legitimate reasons why some black people might not feel patriotic, but Howard wasn't speaking on any deep level. He was just being irreverent.

Mark Cuban's attempt to remedy the the situation fell flat, in my opinion:

Mavericks owner Mark Cuban said, according to The Dallas Morning News, that the team dealt with Howard at the time of the incident. He added that the team has a plan in place to address the issue at training camp.

"That said, we will be going through some advanced communication skill sessions together this training camp," Cuban said Tuesday. "I have explained to him that cell phone cameras are not your friend and that what you think you said on camera is never what people will hear when it shows up on YouTube or TV."

"Advanced communication skill sessions"? For what? Let him keep his butt on the court. (Although I do agree with the last part - cameras are not your friend). Howard just needs to keep his mouth shut and make sure he knows/trusts the people who get to see him in "laid back" mode. Period. Clearly, what we heard on the video is Howard's normal way of speaking and though he may have been joking, there's probably some truth to the statement he made (to him). His words and thoughts are not going to change with any "sessions." He appears to not have known this guy who filmed him, and I say that because if he did, then he probably would not have posted this video. There are pictures and video of celebrities and athletes on regular people's cameras right this second, but most people who want to continue to befriend celebrities/athletes don't publish the images if they want to remain in with the "in-crowd." Such was not the case here, and Howard ended up the loser. Hopefully, he has learned that he can't just "keep it real" with everyone he encounters.

The ESPN folks on Outside the Lines went a little far, as I don't think he's going to be dismissed from the Mavericks for acting a fool, nor should he be fined, even if he has a history of cutting up. What's the basis for the fine? Being unpatriotic? Disparaging Obama? Cursing? Using the "n" word? I'm not a fan of fining people for words they say, especially if they are unrelated to the body that is doing the fining. Any fine here would be for an "image violation." Aww. And they worked so hard to on it . . .

Two Quickies: Kenny George; The Replacement Players

2008-09-17T23:40:00.005-04:00

Last college basketball season, I wrote about a player named Kenny George from UNC-Asheville. At 7'7" and in possession of the top field goal percentage in the NCAA, you'd think he had it made, but his size seems to get in the way of him living a normal life. This is a guy whose dad has to drive across the country to pick him up from school because he can't fit on an airplane. And I felt a tinge of sadness watching him play, mainly because he seemed to be in pain. Although I'm sure he loves basketball, there's an air of exploitation surrounding him. I'm not suggesting that UNC-Asheville is necessarily the culprit, but it's just an uneasy feeling I get.

Well, now it looks like he's going to miss the entire upcoming season. George is currently laid up in a Chicago hospital following two surgeries due to a foot infection, and his coach says that he's probably not going to even attend school this semester, which sucks because this is his senior year. (Although he could possibly have another year of eligibility if his injury is non-sports related. I actually had an extra year of sports eligibility when I started law school. . . but God denied my petition for 28 hours in a day.) Hopefully, he will be able to at least return to graduate even if he can't play . . . something tells me that even if he takes the year off, he has a good shot at being picked up by an NBA team who wants to take a chance on him. While I don't think his body will handle too many years in the league, though, I do hope he gets a shot - for his own sake and no one else's . . .

The latest episode of "Pull the Plug on the QB," features the Minnesota Viking's Tarvaris Jackson. Vikings coach Brad Childress announced Wednesday that Jackson will be riding the pine from here on out until further notice. In his place will be 15-year veteran Gus Frerotte - aka the poster child for "one time a bride, usually a bridesmaid." He made a name for himself with the Washington Redskins where he made the Pro Bowl in 1996 (12 years ago) but was perhaps even more famous in our nation's capital for spraining his neck during a touchdown celebration (but at least he scored, DeSean) and ending up in the hospital.

Only two weeks in and the coach is shaking things up. Childress clearly doesn't like what he sees and apparently neither do the fans as they vocally expressed their disapproval of Jackson's playing during the last game against the Indianapolis Colts. The Vikings have certainly woefully underperformed in their first two games, but I'm not sure anyone on the team was expecting this move, not even the two men who are swapping jobs. Right now, Jackson has barely 300 yards in his two starts - Tony Romo and Donovan McNabb both had about that on Monday night. Which doesn't have to be a bad thing (everyone can't be Romo and McNabb)...if you're still getting it done other ways. Oh, there's the problem: Despite Adrian Peterson rushing for 160 yards, the Vikings never scored a touchdown in Sunday's game against the Colts. Childress probably thinks, like many folks, that if you've got a player like AP, who's still performing at AP-level (i.e., LT - I know, the toe, but 2007 counts, too) you ought to be winning, or at the very least, scoring.

Frerotte has had a very, very (very) long time to become a premier QB in this league, and if it hasn't happened in 14 years, I don't see 15 being the charm, so we'll see how long this lasts. But, boy oh boy, life is tough for a starting QB, isn't it? We're just two games in, and this season has already changed at least one institution: fantasy football. All those "draft the best QB first" owners will definitely be re-thinking that strategy next year . . .

Show Me Some Skin

2008-09-16T22:50:00.011-04:00

Some things I've been musing over the past few days:

Chris Cooley, tight end for the Washington Redskins, has his own blog which is apparently pretty decent. Cooley had a game this Sunday but wanted to do a post before his game, so he hurriedly posted a picture of what he thought was just his play book. Unfortunately, in his haste, he included a little too much "~~fore~~ red skin" (why did I just see that PTI stole my joke??). So not only did Cooley catch flak from his coach for posting a page from the play book, but now we all know . . . a little too much about him. Hopefully he has learned that a 2" x 2" digital camera screen is short on detail (no pun intended). You can click here to see the picture, but I'd wait until you get home because it's definitely NSFW (not safe for work). I would have put this up for MYSM next week, but most of you wouldn't be smiling . . . Cooley apologized for the exposure, but I feel like we deserve some kind of an explanation for the conduct itself. (Update: And here it is). Hilarious.
The NFL referee who botched the call that let the Denver Broncos back in (and eventually win) their game against the San Diego Chargers on Sunday has received a downgrade from the NFL for his mistake. They say this means he could receive less pay or even be terminated when he comes up for review. Gee whiz. Ed Hochuli is a veteran ref who made a really bad call - accidentally, not purposely. Bad calls happen, but it's not like he wasn't working within the rules nor was he trying to ruin the game. I'm happy to see his brethren rallying around him in his hour of need. Had his call come at a less pivotal point in the game, then obviously his mistake wouldn't have mattered as much. So, yeah, he blew it, and yeah, it sucks for the San Diego Chargers, but as Norv Turner said, the score will always be 39-38. Let's move on.
Baltimore Ravens QB Troy Smith has been cleared to work out following a severe case of tonsilitis that cause him to lose 20 pounds. The Ravens doctor added, however, that he was never critically ill and his health was never in danger. He's still on antibiotics and will likely need his tonsils removed, but probably won't have the procedure until the end of the season. Wow, all that from tonsilitis? I had tonsilitis when I was a babe (as in young, not "hot"), but I can't imagine it being that bad. I'd say losing 20 pounds when you're sick is sufficiently serious even if he wasn't "critically ill." Poor guy. To go from Heisman Trophy winner to having to compete for a starting QB spot has to be a tough transition over a two-year span. Although there are a lot of great things about being a professional athlete, the fact that it can all be over in an instant is definitely not one of them. Here's hoping he surpasses the expectations of this latest batch of naysayers.
Speaking of competing for a starting spot, the Tennessee Titans have decided to stick with the veteran Kerry Collins as their QB, potentially even after Vince Young is able to return. Coach Jeff Fisher says he'll stick with Collins as long as the Titans keep winning. I can't say that I blame him, and maybe this will be actually be good for Young, giving him more time to collect his thoughts. (With every day that goes by, I am increasingly happy that I don't have a fantasy football team this year . . .)
You may have noticed that I haven't mentioned O.J. Simspon's Las Vegas trial at all. That's because I'm just really not interested anymore (although I expressly reserve the right to blog about this if something interesting happens). As I've said in previous posts on Mr. Simpson, it's probably about time the Juice got squeezed, but with folks like this testifying for the prosecution, (and check out this other great court performance) one can't be too sure. For some reason, I have a feeling he'll be cleared again, but whether he does time or doesn't, he has already been punished. Living on the outside knowing that everyone believes you've killed your wife and won't have anything to do with you because of it is prison - only you never get to leave. I know lawyers aren't taught to believe this, but the courtroom is not the only place where justice is served.
Monday Night Football scored a ratings coup for cable TV with its Cowboys vs. Eagles showing taking the crown as the top-watched cable program of all time. Of course, they could have had bigger ratings if they were on network TV so those who can't afford cable could have watched it, but that's of no import to the Not Free League. A story for another day . . .

Hype Can Be Good . . . Premature Celebration, Bad

2008-09-16T00:05:00.010-04:00

It's not too often that events live up to their hype. But two did, in almost as many days. First, Tina Fey's spot-on impression of Sarah Palin. She really ought to get an Emmy for that.

Second, but only because it occurred later, was Monday Night Football. The Dallas Cowboys and Philadelphia Eagles definitely earned their spot as one of the premier games of the week.

(Sorry to interrupt but as I'm typing this, I'm watching the post-game show and is it just me or is something fishy with Steve Young's hair? )

It had all the things you want to see in a football game: lots of offense, defense (when it really counted), long bombs, and some added perks for Eagles/Cowboys fans: Donovan McNabb playing and moving well, T.O. doing what T.O. does best - scoring, and Brian Westbrook having a good game. Before you ask, yes, I can and do like both teams. It was a shootout in the first half with both teams racking up almost 60 points - I've definitely seen basketball games with less scoring - which slowed down considerably in the second half, to the Cowboys advantage. Ended up a squeaker with the Cowboys eventually winning by four. I don't know what that was McNabb and the Eagles tried to do in their last two plays of the game, so I'll just chalk that up to good defense by the Cowboys. Overall, it was quite the entertaining outing. So entertaining that they only mentioned Jessica Simpson once, and that was to remark that they hadn't talked about her.

I'll let you check out ESPN.com for the rest of the game round-up because I want to focus here on two events from this game: 1) Tony Romo's fumble and 2) Desean Jackson's "letdown" (aka "do that again and you WILL be gently reminded what city you play in").

First, Romo. Is someone putting baby oil on the footballs these days? (Don't answer that) What's with all the QB fumbles? The hurricanes don't usually make their way to the Irving/Dallas area so I don't think it was the rain. This particular Romo fumble happened near a very bad place - the Cowboys' end zone - which resulted in a touchdown for the Eagles. And just like the Eagles last few plays of the game, I can't really tell what Romo thought he was going to do here.

I can tell you what he was NOT trying to do, and that was go for the ball. I couldn't see it that well in real-time, but if you have DVR, please watch the replay (again) of this one. Not only did he not try to recover the ball, he actually leapt in the total opposite direction (this picture is a second too early to get the effect), no doubt trying not to end up like many other quarterbacks this season ... not playing. Romo made the right decision in not sacrificing himself for one touchdown...even if he made a terrible one in trying to make a play out of no play just seconds before. I just found myself amused watching the slo mo of him leaping clear out of the screen. Had the Cowboys not scored near the end again, no doubt this play would have gotten him a lot of flak. But they won, so it didn't. And once again, winning covers up a multitude of sins.

On to #2. While this game was filled with things you like to see, it also had one glaring thing we all hate to see.

DeSean ("Michael") Jackson, there ought to be some type of award for what you did. For those who didn't catch it, Mr. Jackson, the Eagles rookie wide receiver, caught one of those long bombs from Donovan McNabb. He then proceeded to fool us - and himself - into thinking he was going to score, but just as he was setting foot into hallowed land, he threw the ball away. No, really. He tossed it behind him, into the field, as he crossed into the end zone. Believing he had scored, he spontaneously broke into dance (quite a confident dance for a rookie, I might add).

Well, all that changed in a matter of seconds when it became increasingly clear (after a replay or two) that Jackson had celebrated too early. After a challenge by the Cowboys, sure enough, the refs decided he had indeed not scored. Since there was no camera to catch the side view because of the long throw, it was hard to tell exactly where he broke the plane of the end zone. But he deserved to have the TD taken away for that mess. Thank goodness he only lightly discarded it so that the Eagles ended up with the ball on the ene yard line.

I was incredulous that someone in the NFL would actually put more thought into their post-score dance than they did into actually scoring. I still am. I'd rather refer to someone's actions than call them names (notice the MNF folks called it a "bonehead play" rather than calling Jackson a bonehead) so I'll just stick with that may be one of the most ridiculous plays I've ever seen in my life. I actually can't think of a worse careless error. Only the timing could have been worse, worsened still had the Eagles not eventually scored. Even attempting and missing a 360 dunk on a fast break comes in a distant second.

I was already shaking my head when those ESPN researchers tracked down the video of Jackson doing a forward flip just short of the end zone in an All-American high school football game. That actually made me laugh out loud when I saw it, and again just now while typing this. So he behaved ridiculously once, and now he has done it twice. For Jackson's own good, I'm hoping that the third time is not a charm. Eagles fans have ZERO tolerance for antics like that, and anyone seen in or around the stadium/arena is fair game. I was at that All-Star game when they booed Destiny's Child's entire performance because one of them had on a Lakers jersey. (And if any of those fans also have Jackson on their fantasy teams. . . )

So if you're at Wawa, Jackson, and suddenly get struck in the back of the head with a hoagie, don't say I didn't warn you.

MYSM: Mascot Fail

2008-09-15T00:00:00.001-04:00

By now, the regulars know I have an affinity for mascot bloopers, but I'll let you be the judge of funny.

Happy Monday!

PnC Is Ready For Some FOOTBALL!

2008-09-14T22:34:00.015-04:00

What a weekend. Camp Obama (which will be sending me to a battleground near you!). The Sarah Palin interview with Charlie Gibson. Tina Fey knocking her impression of Palin out of the park on Saturday Night Live . . .

Michael Phelps, uh, hosting SNL . . .

And sports. Where should we start?
I'll go in order (sorta) of occurrence:

So I was all excited for my first planned real college football viewing of the season, featuring Ohio State and USC, and I have to say I was pretty disappointed. It wasn't much of a contest from what I saw, so I got into conversation with a friend during much of it . . . unless someone was getting hit - hard! Well, I don't think this game will affect the Trojans because you can't get much higher than #1, but it wasn't entirely clear where Ohio State would rank because they lost to #1. Maybe they're #2 . . . maybe not. Maybe #13. I've seen the 100,000 comments from OSU fans on ESPN.com so I'm not trying to get hate comments from those who stumbled on this page from Google, but even they have to admit that was fairly unwatchable. This was on the premier national stage, so I'm sure the glare hurt worse, but they found a disappointed bedfellow in . . .

Michigan vs. Notre Dame. All you need to know is that the Wolverines had 7 fumbles, 6 turnovers, which resulted in 3 touchdowns for Notre Dame. Yes, it was mucky and nasty, as it was in a lot of parts of the country on Saturday, but they were both playing in the same conditions. It's funny (not "haha") that this used to be a huge rivalry, even outside of South Bend and Ann Arbor. I was just thinking yesterday that these programs aren't really relevant anymore except to their students and alum. Allegedly, they're both rebuilding (the Fightin' Irish
perhaps moreso than the waning Wolverines). But how long is that going to take?

Freak accident at the game: Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis had both his MCL and ACL torn when his defensive end crashed into him on the sidelines following a block. I always wondered if people ever got seriously injured standing that close, and now I know. Not as much outcry about this as there was for Tom Brady. I think it was a dirty hit. . .Unlike that weakling Brady who decided to succumb to the knife*, Weis says he's going to forego surgery (for now) so he can remain in the danger zone they call the sidelines, proving there's no "i" in coach, either . . .

Pro football. I like to end on a good note so let's start with the Detroit Lions vs. Green Bay Packers. Not a good week for the State of Michigan (in sports, anyway -- the Tigers just lost a doubleheader, too, to the Chicago White Sox). Unfortunately, being a Michigan team wasn't the only similarity the Lions had to the Wolverines. After coming back against the Packers in the second half, and going up 25-24 late in the game, the Lions -- or should I say Jon Kitna -- threw 3 interceptions in the last 5 minutes of the game. Even better, the three interceptions came in about 3 minutes - no, I'm not kidding. Two straight weeks facing young (or un-tested) QB's in Matt Ryan and Aaron Rodgers, and two straight bad losses. But they still manage to sell out every week. I might compare this to the phenomenon of voting for the same regime and expecting a different result . . . but I digress.

Speaking of Brett Favre, or teams that used to feature him, the NY Jets game against the New England Patriots was supposed to be very interesting a week ago. Brett vs. Tom, like an early Christmas gift. Alas, it didn't pan out that way, and to be honest, this game was ho-hum at best. I tried to watch it in real-time, and failed, then tried to DVR it, and couldn't get through it again. As not-interesting as it was, the Patriots are 2-0, and Matt Cassel has now started and won his first game since high school. I wonder when they'll start the predictions about them matching the '72 Miami Dolphins . . .

Interesting ending to the Denver Broncos game vs. the San Diego Chargers. End result is two last second losses and an 0-2 record for the Chargers. With about a minute or so left in the game, down by 8 points, around the 10 yard line, Broncos QB Jay Cutler clearly fumbles the ball (he'd already dropped it once a few minutes earlier), and the Chargers recovered it. But the ref blew the whistle (I couldn't hear it but he confessed to it) which deaded the ball at the 10 yard line. Saved by the whistle. Then Cutler threw a TD to WR ER (Eddie Royal), which meant the Broncos were only down by one. Then, I saw the unbelievable - really, even the other Broncos were surprised. Broncos coach Mike Shanahan and Cutler call for a two-point conversion for the win, at home, rather than just going for the extra point, which would have tied the game. In basketball, sometimes they'll go for the 3-pointer for the win rather than the two-point field goal if they have a better look at the former. But in football, since the extra point is pretty much a given, and every single game is so precious (as Chargers coach Norv Turner's post-game interview so aptly "alluded"), going for the conversion is pretty risky. But they went for it, and they converted it, with another pass from Cutler to Royal. The commentators alternated between Shanahan was "playing with the house's money" (i.e., they pressed their luck after they'd already lucked up with the bad call) and that the coach was showing his confidence in his team, more specifically, in Cutler. I agree. Whether they converted or didn't, knowing coach would bet the house on you has to do good things to the self-esteem. Smart man. All I know is that Shanahan has instantly earned my respect, because if they don't convert that, the secret service may have needed to return to Mile High Stadium to get him out of there. Or maybe the fans are nicer in Denver than they are in the rest of the country. Either way, people would have been pissed. . .but they won, so they're not (and to anyone who regularly bets for/against the Broncos, now you know). This just proves yet again that the only difference between a bad idea and a good idea is whether it worked. Kudos to Cutler, again, for keeping the party going under the circumstances. . .

Eli Manning and the NY Giants beat the St. Louis Rams. zzzzz. Which leads me to the real point of this post . . .

BRING ON MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL!

*Severe sarcasm, in case you're new here.

Running Into the Weekend

2008-09-11T22:35:00.009-04:00

Is it just me or is this the longest week ever? I feel like I've been going to work for a week straight already, and it's not even Friday yet.

Funny stuff out there today. This won't exactly be a run-down, but I am going to jump around a little bit.

First, Shaquille O'Neal is quite the character. Today, he played Nostradamus, informing the public that he will cease to be a professional basketball player in "735 days." He says he's going into law enforcement. There is only one word for this: awesome. Hopefully, he'll be a beat cop for a little while so someone can give him his own reality show. (I would DVR that, too.) Personally, I'd like to see him become a lawyer. He certainly has a way with people, and they love him even when he's openly dissing Kobe Bryant (T.O.: take note). This bodes well for his ability to sway a jury . . . but says nothing about his ability to rap. I hope he retires from rapping in 735 days, too . . . or sooner. I mean that in the nicest way possible . . .

Vince Young took to the cameras to re-affirm that he's OK and that there's nothing to worry about. I, for one, didn't believe you'd lost your love for the game, as some have charged. But I'm going to have to agree with the PTI guys here, Vince. Mama and coach don't just jump in the fray and call the police over nothing. People are hating on you and will continue to hate on you until you right the ship, but don't let them get you down. Keep fighting the good fight. You can do it . . .

I'm going to give this college football thing a try so I can see what all the fuss is about, starting with Ohio State's game vs. USC. It's not like I've never watched a whole game, it just didn't really factor into my family's sports viewing habits so I only really watched it if someone I knew was playing or a bowl game. I'm kind of mad that it's looking like I won't get to see this guy Chris "Beanie" Wells play, which means I may have to watch Ohio State play again at some point when he's finally back (which may help my viewership). 2,500 comments about one guy's injury on ESPN.com? Clearly, I'm missing something . . .

Speaking of Ohio, folks there are peeved with its native son, LeBron James, for his affinity for sports teams located outside of its borders. (Warning: I'm actually supporting him here. I think I'm getting soft in my old age.) He's a fan of the NY Yankees, Dallas Cowboys, and Chicago Bulls - all teams that have enjoyed tremendous success in their respective sports, particularly while James was growing up. It seems like he's just like half of the country in his preferences, even picking up on "America's team" in the Yankees and Cowboys. I don't really see anything wrong with that. While it may seem hard to understand how a man can root against the home team when he has lived there his whole life, I know plenty of people who have done it. My guess is popular teams gain the most fans they're winning, and the most successful teams tend to keep those fans even if they start losing. But, come on, it's LeBron James. He likes winners because he strongly identifies with what they do . . . win, which is more than can be said for most of the teams in Ohio (pro, not college, of course). Sure, it probably stung the Cleveland Browns to see him donning a Yankees cap, blue and silver tee, and saying what's up to his boys on the Dallas Cowboys sideline, but I think they should just be happy he's still playing in Cleveland . . . for now . . .

Speaking of Cowboys, Tony Romo made a stop on his way home from Cleveland last Sunday night to help a couple change a flat tire. The couple said that 100 cars drove by before someone stopped to help them. And he'd just gotten over a dozen stitches in his chin. I think it's great that he stopped, which I know most people (including me - not at night!) wouldn't have done, and clearly didn't do here. But I'm most happy that he knows how to change a tire. I had wrongly assumed my whole life that all men knew how to do this until a few months ago. This is one area where equality isn't so important . . .

Rounding up with football, Ricky Williams proved that you can negotiate your own contract when he re-upped with the Miami Dolphins, all by himself, with no agent (Look ma, no hands!). I don't know how well he negotiated it, but if anyone can, he can. I think some of his past actions have caused people to underestimate how intelligent he really is. I'm encouraged to see veterans taking control of their own decision-making. Most lawyers/agents may not like what I'm going to say, but I look at it like this: if you've gone to trial 5 times for the exact same offense, you could probably do a pretty decent job defending yourself on the 6th one. Just a thought . . .

Have a great weekend!

Timeout for T.O.

2008-09-11T22:08:00.007-04:00

Every time Terrell Owens opens his mouth, I cringe. I don't care if he's talking about his charity (does he have one? Hopefully he does), you just never know what he might say. Scratch that. You know what he's going to say, you just don't know who he's going to offend.

This time the target was Donovan McNabb - again - in anticipation of the Dallas Cowboys Monday meeting against the Philadelphia Eagles (Can't wait for that one!) Choice excerpts:

"I will say that Donovan made me a better receiver in Philadelphia, but I think Donovan would have a hard time admitting I made him a better quarterback," he said.

Owens also suggested their problems were the result of McNabb being insecure about Owens' popularity surpassing that of the quarterback, saying, "I remember being in that stadium and hearing them chanting my name, and that couldn't bode well for Donovan."

Owens said he has a unique relationship with the Cowboys' Tony Romo because the quarterback "gets me" in a way none of the others ever did.

Owens also said he honestly does not believe what happened in Philly was his fault.

Owens says in many ways he still feels like a kid from a small town in Alabama with something to prove.

When asked about how it seemed Philly dominated the NFC East when he was an Eagle, much as the Cowboys are doing now, Owens suggested it was largely because he had changed teams. "The common denominator was me being in both places, but I will let you make that assessment," he said.

Part of me says this is just showmanship, talking trash to get more hype for the game. But the tone of his words are just . . . ugly. There's a way to hype up the game without taking multiple shots directly at McNabb. Just once, I wish he would take the high road. What happened to that note he left on his locker that time? Bring that back.

Let me be clear. I like T.O. I just recalled that I won autographed pictures of him and McNabb at an auction once. He is clearly talented, one of the best receivers, and is always entertaining, but he has to be hurting himself in the endorsement area (and likely elsewhere) because his personality is just not that likable. People say "he may be an a****** but at least he keeps it real." Maybe it's good that he feels he can be himself, but when "yourself"is mean-spirited and holds a grudge for years on end, perhaps you ought to think about being someone else for a change.

Just Running

2008-09-11T01:09:00.010-04:00

So it turns out I really do need sleep. And today was one of the least exciting sports days that I can recall. That can only mean one thing:

1. Kobe Bryant is taking it like a man (what does that really mean?) and is deciding to forego pinkie surgery. Coincidentally, several people I know who've played basketball have really fmessed up pinkie fingers that they never got fixed. It may not look pretty, but as long as his pinkie can support the ball, he'll probably be OK. I always knew he was tough.

2. San Francisco 49ers QB Alex Smith looks like he's out for the year with a broken shoulder. (This was not supposed to be an injury report, I swear). And it looks like he's thrown his last pass for the 49ers - for good. He came in with high hopes, and ended up . . . injured. I recall a certain someone from my fantasy team (who may or may not read this blog) who had him on their team and ended up regretting it. It sounds like another case of a guy with an injury that needs time being forced to come back before he's ready. And unfortunately, the person who pays the worst price is always the athlete. Check out this article by Jemele Hill, where she virtually composes an open-letter to Shawne Merriman asking him to stop playing. (Turns out he didn't have a choice.) And as an added injury-bonus, DJ Gallo from Page 2 explains why Matt Cassel's better than Tom Brady. Funny stuff.

3. I caught the tail end of the L.A. Angels/N.Y. Yankees game on ESPN. The Angels clinched the AL West with the win, the first team to have a solid spot in October. I also caught the familiar champagne bath after the game. I thought about how it was funny to see a team celebrating like that just for making the playoffs, but I guess the season's so long and the playoffs only include a few teams so it's a bigger deal than in other sports. But who knows. Baseball has so many "traditions" that it's hard to keep track sometimes . . . I may have mentioned here that I used to turn on baseball games to take naps, and I actually fell asleep during the game tonight, but maybe it was just a Pavlov's dog reaction. I can fully admit I'm more ho-hum than usual because no team I care about has been in contention. This fight between Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez and Torii Hunter did pique my interest. Just a bit. Actually, the fact that Derek Jeter passed Babe Ruth's Yankees record for most hits also interests me. As you saw a few days ago, I'm skeptical of any accolades received when the playing field fails to include everyone who could beat you. Congrats, Jeter.

4. Continuing the theme, allegedly, there's this like, really big college football game on Saturday featuring USC v. Ohio State - the #1 and #5 ranked teams in the country, respectively. I haven't been much of a college football fan but I think I may watch this one. That is, if I have energy after Camp Obama . . . if not, DVR will have to come through in the clutch. Have I mentioned how much I love DVR yet? Or how happy I am that I never gave Comcast my money for this service?

5. #3 and #4 above made me realize now that I need to expand my sports horizons so I have more to write in these run-downs (I rarely run out of material for the longer posts, I just run out of time!) Since football's primarily a Sunday event, there just isn't much action to keep my attention on the weekdays. . . until the NBA starts up. Jessica Simpson/Tony Romo stories just don't do it for me - although the "Yoko Romo" tag was amusing.

6. I know it's usually five, but just as I was about to wrap this up, I turned on vh1 to check out Luke's Parental Advisory. When I turned it on, I wasn't sure which "Luke" they were referring to (Luke Jensen got a reality show?) but then I saw that Uncle Luke aka Doo Doo Brown, former fearless leader of 2 Live Crew, has his own show. In the two minutes I saw, I caught the following: Luke and his fiancee, Kristin, appear to be getting married soon, so they are sitting with someone talking about potential videographers. The other guy tells Uncle Luke about a few and notes that one of them shoots "pornos." Luke, naturally, says he wants this guy. Why? Because he is "good at close ups" and "taking tight shots" (and as Luke later tells us, "You know he can get the money shot.") When Kristin protests, this other guy says he's siding with the bride on this one. She actually seems like a classy lady. Further proof that love really is blind.

Who's Right? Who's Wrong?*

2008-09-10T21:20:00.010-04:00

I'm not much of a horn-tooter but sometimes it's nice to know I'm not so far-fetched in my opinions. So I'm taking particular solace in the fact that both Mike Wilbon and Tony Kornheiser on PTI agreed with my take on Vince Young, saying that there might be something to this since his mother is making this public plea, and this isn't just "no big deal," and that he is probably having touble adjusting to the glare of the pro QB light. Kornheiser also suggested that he needs time, and that it's probably fortuitous that he's injured so he has some time to think. Or maybe because he's hurt, his condition was exacerbated. But it sounds like this was just the tipping point, so hopefully Young will use this time wisely.

Then, Randy Moss echoed my comments about Tom Brady's commitment despite his injury. Following reports that Brady tore both his ACL and MCL (meaning he'll have surgery and heal in time for training camp), Moss said:

"We saw Tom today," Moss said in a national conference call. "I am not sure how much longer we are going to see him, but he is here today and has been uplifting and keeping a positive attitude. I think that goes a long way with not only him but the team as well."

Moss said Brady was "upbeat" during his visit.
"He is still the same old Tom Brady," Moss said. "I think that is what a lot [of] people don't really understand. A lot of times when guys get hurt, you might not see him around the locker room for months at a time."

Nice to know that sometimes I kinda know what I'm talking about.

One story that has gotten way out of control is this mess about "Takum" Bell and the stolen Gucci bags. Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, now the woman who returned the bags to the Lions is coming out to tell her side of the story and clear her name (although she didn't want to be identified, I guess someone knows who she is). A few days ago, the other released Lion, whom Bell alleged was the person who had asked him to pick up the bags, came out and basically called Bell a liar (love this interview format):

[Victor] DeGrate said he never asked Bell to pick up anything. He said he didn't
leave behind any backpack, did not know the woman to whom Bell took the bags and had told all of this to the Lions.
"I just know I had nothing to do with it," DeGrate said. "What he did is his business. Why he said what he said, I don't know. I can't do nothing for you or for him as far as that goes. ...
"The way I just figure, he got caught up in a jam and that was the best thing going at the time, was to say what he said. ...

"When I left there, I left. I had nothing to do with none of it."
DeGrate did not leave a backpack behind?
"I had nothing to do with none of it," DeGrate said.
When told Bell claimed he took the bags to DeGrate's friend, DeGrate laughed, paused, then said: "If it was my friend that he took them to, then I'm pretty sure I would have had something to do with it more than what I did, which is none."
DeGrate said he learned Bell had used his name when people started calling him about it. Asked how the Lions tracked down the woman, he said:
"Evidently she took the bags back up there."
Does DeGrate know her?
"No," DeGrate said.
Not at all?
"I have nothing to do with it, man," DeGrate
said. "That's what I'm telling you. You're not listening to me."
Has DeGrate talked to Bell?
"I didn't ask no questions," DeGrate said. "None of it. There's no need for me to do all that. I just know I had nothing to do with it."
DeGrate and Bell went to the same high school, in DeSoto, Texas. They went to the same college, at Oklahoma State. DeGrate, 23, lived with Bell, 27, in Detroit.

Isn't this weird?
"Yeah, but sometimes it takes stuff like that to happen for you to find out how people are," DeGrate said. "But you know, I ain't holding no grudges against him or nothing like that."

Fishy. And now from the woman who took the bag back:

[The woman, who wishes to not be identified] was an acquaintance of DeGrate's and knew Bell through him. The night of Sept. 1, Bell called her and said he had a bag that he had thought belonged to DeGrate but really belonged to Johnson. Bell asked her if she could return it to Lions headquarters in Allen Park and gave her the phone number of Cedric Saunders, the director of football operations. She asked him why he couldn't return it himself. He said he had to go to Houston to work out for the Texans and didn't have time. (He never worked out for them.) She said OK, and he came over to her house and put the bag in her car.
After work Sept. 2, she drove to Lions headquarters and called Saunders, who came outside and took the bag out of her car about 2:30 or 3 p.m. She headed home. On the way, she received a call from Saunders. Where was the stuff that was in Johnson's bag? The bag was a roller that had another bag inside, and that was missing along with the ID, credit cards, cash and underwear. She told Saunders she didn't know what he was talking about. She had never laid a finger on the bag. The woman declined to speak to the Free Press more than once after the incident, but she relented Tuesday because she said she wanted to clear up misinformation and distance herself from any wrongdoing.
"I hate a thief," she said. "This is too much drama."

I couldn't agree with her more. What in the world? It's like every single person is telling only a piece of the truth. And now Takum thinks he can't find a job because no one trusts him not to go trick-or-treating in the lockerroom. I can't say that I blame them. Troublemakers are only worth the trouble if they're - how do I say this - good. So even if Adam "Pacman" Jones is making it rain, at least his on-field performance is relatively consistent and his teammates know he's generous with his money instead of trying to trying to steal theirs.

I do hope that you find a job, though, Tatum. I don't know why, but I kind of feel like you might be telling the truth here.

*An accidental ode to Janet Jackson's song What Have You Done For Me Lately?, the first thing that popped in my head.

Vince Young Is Normal

2008-09-10T01:33:00.015-04:00

I was going to do a run-down but this story deserves a little more attention. So this is it for today. I'll be back tomorrow with others. Sleep is for the weak . . .

"This story" is the one about Vince Young's mental stability. After Young disappeared "abruptly" and "without a cell phone" for a few hours on Monday night, his concerned family contacted his team, the Tennessee Titans, who then contacted the police. The police located Young at a friend's house not long after they began searching for him. It was later discovered that the family's concerns were "unfounded," and the Titans are now trying to sweep the matter under the rug.

Apparently, the cops noted that there was an unloaded handgun in Young's vehicle (I'm guessing it's a truck), but Young's agent said he had known his whereabouts all along.

By way of background, on Sunday, Young was booed by his own fans and ended up coming out of the game (which the Titans won) early - some say he took himself out because of his poor performance - with an injured knee. It looks like he might be out for at least a few weeks if not a month.

Young's mother made some statements indicating that her son is having a tough time with it all:

"What would you think, if you were tired of being ridiculed and persecuted and talked about and not being treated very well, what would you do? What kind of decision would you make?'' Young's mother Felecia Young told The Nashville Tennesssean on Tuesday. "He may not want to deal with it [all], but you have to get to that point before you make that decision first.

"But we're not talking about football right now. We're talking about what would make him happy, and that is the most important thing. ... You don't want people to be hurting like he is. But it is a growing-up process, and he will eventually come out like gold no matter what. But Vince is going to be OK. We are just going to try and give him some space."

Hmm. Well, it sounds like the kid has a lot more going on than meets the eye.

He actually came to my church one time and spoke about meeting his goals and how his faith had helped him get to where he was. I recall him talking about going through setbacks and just realizing that it was all a part of the plan to make him better. I talked to him briefly afterward, he seemed like a nice guy.

The high pressure on professional athletes doesn't receive much attention these days, and quarterbacks get it the worst. They are pretty much sitting ducks for criticism every single day while they are in season, and at least monthly when the season is over. Unless you're a doctor or have some other job on which lives depend, most of us go to our jobs and no one cares that much if we don't perform perfectly. Not the professional athlete. We expect them to not have any issues (other than injuries) and - especially when it comes to QB's - they're always to be tough. So then they turn to other (de)vices when they don't have an outlet, like sex, drugs/alcohol, etc. - you know, the "normal" outlets.

"He's fine. There's nothing to be concerned with," says his coach, Jeff Fisher.

Really? I'm not convinced. I know his agent is just trying to protect his investment, and his coach wants to calm things down, but if his family is worried about him to this degree, maybe they ought to be concerned. Since most of the sports world and writers are male, it should not be surprising that they aren't comfortable with the idea that Young might need help. Our society just won't accept the idea of an alpha male who can't work everything out by himself. There's no crying in baseball - or any other sport, for that matter. And if you think it's difficult for a layman to show vulnerability, weakness in a professional football player is pretty much a no-no . . .

. . . unless you're Brett Favre. He surpassed likable and reached lovable status because he has pretty much always risen to the occasion, no matter what was going on in his personal life (including playing the game of his life the day after his dad passed away). And while many people will remember how he performed in the face of adversity, Favre showed great vulnerability when he admitted that he was addicted to painkillers. But I don't think that the addiction receives as much press when his triumphs are mentioned, and my guess would be because we're still not entirely comfortable acknowledging that our hero succumbed to a weakness and was unable to control himself. But I think there was also a sense of relief that he struggles just like you and I do, which just made him that much more endearing. Kudos to him for being strong enough to admit his troubles (although perhaps he didn't really have much of a choice).

Unfortunately, the unspoken rule in all this is that Brett Favre can afford to be more vulnerable because he was already "Brett Favre" when trouble occurred, and he remained "Brett Favre" after they went away. A less revered player (read: pretty much anyone other than Tom Brady) whose vulnerabilities occur before he's "made" it, and might affect his chances of ever making it? Someone, somewhere, is calling him that other name for a cat as I type.

Oh, they'll write novels about the story of how you almost lost it all . . . after you get it all back. Redemption is what sports are all about. But while you're still losing it? They're just writing you off.

So while there aren't too many examples these days of vulnerability in sports (one noted exception came today, ironically, which ESPN deemed the result of "dedication") much less football, if something really is wrong with Vince Young, I certainly hope that he and others around him are strong enough to do something about it. But he shouldn't be written off as a headcase or mentally unstable - or worse, a spoiled brat (I won't even link to that one but I will note that just because he plays sports for a living and his life appears to be more fun than yours doesn't mean he needs to just "suck it up.").

He's in one of the most high-pressure jobs there is. So perhaps he's having some trouble adjusting to life in the NFL where he's not necessarily performing like he did at the University of Texas. That's OK. All is not lost.

I'm pulling for you, Vince . . . on the field and off.

Running From City To City

2008-09-09T01:07:00.009-04:00

So much excitement in the world of sports, just over the weekend. I wish I had another person to write for me, but thus far, it's just me (if you want to guest blog, let me know!) So that means not enough time to cover everything. My selection:

1. Exciting first weekend in the NFL. My brief observations: Brett Favre looks good in his new suit, eh? Did he really call them "New Yorkians"? As I told Novak Djokovic, I'm available for American culture lessons...Way to go Aaron Rodgers, even doing the "Lambeau Leap" like that other guy. Keep winning, they'll forget all about him...More and more the NFL seems like it stands for "Not For Long" with all of these significant injuries on day one, including Brady, Vince Young, Nate Burleson, at least 15 others. What gives?...What happened to the Colts?...The Philadelphia Eagles, and more specifically, Donovan McNabb, look very good...St. Louis looks...the same. And with the Lions performance, that makes two of them...Kudos, though, to Atlanta Falcons QB Matt Ryan. Keep winning, they'll forget all about him...Happy to see Jay Cutler (with his Denver Broncos) doing well in his first regular season game since learning he has diabetes. Very much looking forward to seeing how the rest of this season shakes out, and I don't even have a fantasy team. Go figure.

2. U.S. Open wins by Roger Federer and Serena Williams. I love seeing people (around) my age still getting it done. Serena's final was much more interesting than Fed's, but the best matches were definitely played in their quarterfinal and semifinal rounds, respectively. Each got a "milli"* and a half for their efforts and regained their respective perch at the top of the rankings - Fed, of course, not having left that long ago. This is a huge deal for Serena though, hence the high racquet throw at the end of the match. Her win effectively silences all of the critics who said her and her sister weren't dedicated to the game. They don't need to do what everyone else does. They're really just that good. And so is that Oreo commercial featuring the Williams sisters vs. the Manning brothers (see video in right corner). I love the concept but must admit I'd prefer it was for something healthy like, PowerBar, rather than Double Stuf Oreos. Ah, well.

3. I am really curious to know what in the world Monta Ellis did to his ankle that would cause him to lie to the Golden State Warriors about its cause. He claimed he hurt it playing basketball, but then it was discovered that he tore his deltoid ligament and had multiple scrapes and scratches, "not typical of a basketball injury." I got scratched in basketball once and still have the scar on my arm to prove it, but yeah, he really should have made sure his story would check out better than this before he decided to lie. I don't know him, but I'll guess it's something silly that violates his contract like wheelies on an ATV or motorcycle, parachuting, extreme jump roping, bear-wrestling, etc. I'm kinda hoping it's one of the latter two and not any of the first three. The truth comes to the light eventually...

4. Marion Jones left prison. Sad. (Some of these news stories are a little harsh, don't you think? I don't see other admitted dopers getting treated this harshly.)

5. I saw an ad the other morning for a new show on National Geographic called Dogtown: Saving the Michael Vick Dogs. Normally, I would think this was a great idea...if it weren't the season premiere of the Dogtown series and if it didn't include his name in the title. It seems a bit exploitative, premiering not coincidentally within a day of the Atlanta Falcon's own season. Not that I expect much out of Hollywood these days, but I thought National Geographic was different. I guess I was wrong. Why can't we let sleeping dogs lie?

*If anyone caught the MTV VMA's last night (DVR is again my new best friend!), 'Lil Wayne has officially taken over James Brown spot as the hardest working man in showbiz. The Kid Rock set confirmed it. I think his pants are the same length as the sleeves of my coat, though - he's not even sagging, he actually has them cut to only come up to his hip. What next?

"Knee" England Mourns the Loss of Its Golden Boy

2008-09-08T23:14:00.009-04:00

Yuck. Knees really aren't supposed to bend like that.

If you're here, you've probably already heard the news that New England Patriot's QB Tom Brady is a wrap for the season. All this talk about consecutive starts, Tom always gets up, ended in the blink of an eye - or a blow to the knee.

While I'm sure this makes some teams and players happy, to any real competitor worth his salt, this should be seen for what it is: a terrible thing.

Brady's departure during the first quarter of the first game was probably the last thing anyone thought was possible - kind of like seeing Superman knocked down. Remember when he was in that foot cast gallivanting around town with Giselle? No one (including me) thought it was a realistic possibility that he was not going to play - and he did indeed play.

So yesterday, when he was screaming on the field, didn't get up, and didn't at least return to the sidelines for the rest of the game, the Patriots must have known this time was serious, but I'm sure they hadn't allowed themselves to believe he was really going to be done.

Of course, now the Patriots will have very low expectations from here on out this season, considering their backup QB, Matt Cassel, has been a groomsmen and never a groom since he was in high school. Cassel says he's ready, and he did eek out a win yesterday, but even he had to admit he's no Tom Brady. Not too many guys are, Cassel, and therein lies the significance of the loss. Ironically, I mused in a post about eleven months ago about whether it's the QB, the other players on offense, or the blocker that made the Pats so good. I guess we'll finally get our answer.

As I said before, any true competitor is upset by this. No one should want to beat the team minus its star - the win's just not as sweet when there's an asterisk after it in the minds of everyone, including the now-winner.

This reminds me of what happened to Lolo Jones (whose good looks make this an even better analogy than I had anticipated) in the Olympics a few weeks ago. In case you missed it, Jones was the far and away favorite to win the gold medal in the 100m hurdles. And for the first eight hurdles of the race, she held a commanding lead and was well on her way to a win. But, God had another plan. Instead of clearing that one like she'd done the others, her foot hit it, and - miraculously - she kept her balance but faltered enough to leave her with a seventh place finish. Had she tripped over the first hurdle, the eventual winner, Dawn Harper, might have had greater cause for celebration (at least in my book - she was quite ecstatic when she won). But Jones fell after she was way ahead, which made everyone who came behind her seem more like also-rans (pun more than apropos) than winners. Not to take anything from the medal winners, but I would much rather beat the champion than have the champion get taken out by something or someone having nothing to do with me.

So goes Brady, who also "hit the hurdle" after having already established himself as the leader in the race for the top the QB of his generation. No viable argument can be made that any QB playing today has come close to what he's done at such a young age and with such dominance, and just that fast, beating the Pats just took on a whole lot less significance.

The NFL is certainly going to be brooding for a long time. There go the ratings, the merchandise, the fans at the games of terrible teams who showed up just to see Brady and his Pats.

And finally, Brady himself. What's he going to do all year? Actually, I'm sure he'll be right there with the team as much as humanly possible for an injured person. Good thing that the football season is short so he won't have to suffer through it too long. I'm not a big Pats fan but I am sorry to see him gone, just out of the pure love of knowing I'm seeing the best of the best compete.

Oh, and there is one more greatly affected party who ESPN won't lament in the weeks to come: fantasy owners who thought they had it made in the shade when they got Brady. Good thing I waited too late to play because with my penchant for winning drawings, that probably would have been me. And this post would have been a lot less pleasant.

Here's to a speedy recovery, Tommy. We'll miss you.

MYSM: Knock Your Sox Off

2008-09-08T12:04:00.001-04:00

Another late night, but lots of stuff to cover, so until this evening, I will tide you over with the return of MYSM (Make Ya Smile Mondays).

Today's MYSM features a direct hit by the Mariner moose on Coco Crisp (love that name!). His driving a bit reckless, but it's nice to see Crisp has a sense of humor.

Running from for Office*

2008-09-05T02:48:00.012-04:00

Late night at the office, so as much as I wanted to avoid it, sometimes you just can't help having to. . . run. It. Down. Here goes:

1) 31-year old Daunte Culpepper, once a celebrated QB, now says he can't get a callback (much less a quarter back - ba dum bum!). He claims it's because he stands up for what he believes in and represents himself, which the league and teams don't like. On PTI (can't stop gushing about my love for DVR these days!), they basically said his personality must suck, and I tend to agree. There are plenty of team with - excuse my language - piss-poor QB's that Culpepper could play ahead of or behind. My benchmark here is none other than Joey Harrington. Joey had a job until he got a cut a few days ago, and if he can get a job . . . I'll stop here, but suffice it to say that Harrington's record speaks for itself, and if he's getting looks ahead of Culpepper, Daunte must really be in the inferno. Here's hoping he lands something in this tough economy.

2) It turns out that Chad Ocho Psycho** Cinco is not alone in his interesting name change. SI.com did a flip through Vault piece on this, including 13 different athlete name changes. If I had to pick one to take the cake, I'd have to go with the athlete formerly known as J.R. Henderson. After a stint at UCLA, Henderson wasn't able to find basketball success here, so he went to Japan and became a star. But it seems that he was too black to be put on Japan's national team. Not to fear, Henderson had a plan. He would change his last name to Sakuragi, get a Japanese passport, and then all would be well. "Well" meaning he could earn double his salary because he wasn't a foreigner, but not "well" for the national team, which failed to make it to Beijing for the Olympics this summer (and hasn't done so since 1976). That's dedication.

3) LeBron James got his "highness" handed to him by a warehouse worker in a game of H-O-R-S-E. I can't say that I'm really that surprised, since special skills aren't really Bron Bron's forte. Had he lost in an ego-strength competition, then I might have worried. But seriously - and don't tell anyone I said this - kudos to King James for even agreeing to participate. He just made this guy's life, which means if you know him (and even worse, if you play pickup ball with him) you're probably in for a real treat from here on out. (". . . and I kicked LeBron's ***, what have you done?")

4) Redeeming himself after the slight at the Republican National Convention last night (see asterisk at bottom of that post), Eli Manning and (Plaxi) Co. opened up the year like they ended it - with a win, this time over the Washington Redskins. I was at work and didn't watch the game, so that's all I've got for you, except that, as noted during the RNC, the Giants still don't get any respect. And they probably won't unless they win another one. One day, Eli. One day.

5) Another event I couldn't watch today but would have liked to: the U.S. Open. Someday, when I get to that U.S. Open round-up, perhaps I'll talk about the #3 male player in the world, Novak Djokovic, and his struggle to win over the fans. He got some positive attention when he did impressions of Raphael Nadal and Maria Sharapova, but since then, the crowd just hasn't been on his side. When I was in attendance for one of his matches the other night, I did notice that a lot of people were cheering for his opponent but I thought it was because they wanted to see more tennis (even though it was 1 a.m. and I was quite ready to go home). Maybe they just really don't like him. He can certainly make the occasional incendiary remark, as he did tonight following his win over "America's son," Andy Roddick.

Literally, I think sometimes his delivery just doesn't translate into English very well. Although he has a tendency to get "over-amped" and have a short temper, I really don't think he's a bad guy. It takes a big man to apologize for his remarks this evening - which he did - and he has seemed in the past to be truly hurt by the lack of support he receives from the American crowd. Maybe he just needs an advisor on American culture. The women do it (what, you thought Sharapova was a natural?), and if he wants to get anywhere near the endorsement money that the two men ranked above him get (assuming he continues to perform well), he really ought to look into that. I should add that I'm available, Novak, if you can see this.

Have a great weekend!

* This refers me to me running from my office, and Senator Obama running for his. And, yes, it should belong to him.

** Thanks, Tiger!

But Sometimes He Does Get the Carry

2008-09-04T00:53:00.011-04:00

More and more frequently these days, I find myself reading a story that makes me say "what the **** is wrong with people?" Today, of course was no exception.

No, I'm not talking about the message of hope spread during the Republican National Convention Wednesday night. This is a sports blog, after all.*

Recently released Detroit Lions (who for the last, oh, 20 years have provided more heartbreak than happiness to their "fans") running back Tatum Bell had seemed so welcoming to the man who he knew was replacing him - Rudi Johnson. The Lions didn't bring Johnson in just for kicks (no pun intended), so Bell knew his time was up. He helped Johnson get settled, gave him tips for living in (I know some of you might have said "surviving") Detroit, and generally didn't seem to harbor any ill will.

Now for those of you who did not have the ~~mis~~fortune of having Bell on your fantasy team last year, at this point, you should be saying "Ok, he sounds like a good guy." Not to say he's not (I don't know him but he seemsed nice enough) but he left something to be desired last season . . . namely, points. I think I dumped him midway through the season but not before he'd already cost me a few key wins after Maurice Jones-Drew went down. I'll leave it at Mr. Bell didn't have his best season. Hence, it surprised few that when Johnson, a former RB for the Cincinnati Bengals who has had his share of injuries but is still solid (and ~~definitely much~~ probably better than Bell) became available, the Lions jumped at the chance to pick him up.

Enter jealousy. I've always thought that if you are up to no good, the least you can do is scope the scene for cameras. We had a kid get suspended from school for doing something quite untoward on camera (I'll let you use your imagination but, trust me, it's way worse than you think) and to this day, I'll never understand why he didn't look up. The cameras weren't half spheres like they are now, they were giant camcorders on a tripod hanging from the ceiling. But I digress.

With the wide-spread use of cameras, people just can't lie like they used to (unless you hire the best attorneys in the country to help you lie . . . no offense to my people). Apparently Bell didn't consider this possibility when he hoisted Johnson's belongings away - apparently around the same time he was cut from the team - like a thief in the night from the Lions headquarters. Bell claims he thought that he was picking up bags for another (now former) teammate, and a woman did later return the bags (Gucci bags!), minus its contents . . . contents like Johnson's "draws" and socks, and some money and credit cards, too. For his part, Bell had this to say in his defense:

They said they got me on film taking the bags. I said, 'If you look on film, I wasn't in no hurry or nothing.' I was just going about my day," he said.

Bell said he delivered the bags to a female friend of [former teammate Victor] DeGrate's without opening them. Bell told the Free Press that he did not have anything of Johnson's and wanted to clear his name.

"I ain't no thief," Bell told the Free Press. "I ain't never been one, and I ain't never going to be one."

Note to Bell: the "Cool Hand Luke" defense is not your best move. Not surprisingly, Johnson's not buying his explanation, and was not welcoming when Bell tried to reach out to him:

"I didn't want to talk to him, but I let him know where I stand," he said.
"He knows how I feel about it, and it isn't anything positive."

Nothing nice. When I was in middle school, I temporarily carried away the school bag of my crush at the time, preventing him from doing his homework for the evening. He was mad but he got over it, and we dated afterward so it worked out for me. For Bell? Thankfully for him, Johnson decided not to snitch so this probably means "Takum" will avoid any legal troubles. It's unclear how this will affect his chances of getting picked up by another team (unlikely) or of his teammates asking him to grab their bags (yes).

I don't even know what to say about this one. It's funny and really sad at the same time. I laughed for about 10 minutes in my office when I read it but then I thought man, some (ok, a lot) of these guys just really don't grow up. These folks comments on ESPN.com didn't help. From one of those heartbroken ones I mentioned before:

Sadly, Bell now has more picks in the pre-season than our entire secondary.

And from another:

At first nobody believe it was Tatum on the surveillance footage because he
didn't get knocked down 1 yard into his escape. But then the bags slipped out of
his hands.

Quite creative. Clearly, there's some maturity issue here, and as I have said in the past (way, way, past), it's not all the player's fault. Somewhere along the line, someone let him get away with this type of behavior, and now you have a grown man seemingly acting like a child. If we don't start putting our proverbial feet down when people start acting up, this is the result. I do hope it really was a misunderstanding . . . but more than that, I want to see the tape!

*Did anyone else catch the New York Republican delegate at the RNC? In an attempt to extol the virtues of NY, he rattled off the "World Champion" Yankees (really? still?), the "soon to be" champion Mets, and forgot - until reminded by someone nearby - that the Giants *are* actual champions. ". . . and oh yeah, the Giants . . . and can't forget the Jets! We love our Jets!" Poor Eli and his Giants just can't shake that chopped liver status, even at the RNC.

WTH Hall of Shame

2008-09-04T00:50:00.002-04:00

In honor of what Tatum Bell allegedly did or did not do (see above post), I started to think about some of the truly nuts things I've seen athletes so. Here's my very short list (with admittedly very little time to consider it) - I may add to it later. If you have your own to add, feel free to comment!

My top 3*, in descending order:

3. Carl Lewis singing the national anthem. This still makes me cry every time I see it, mainly because I can't imagine how anyone would seriously hire him to sing, sight CLEARLY unseen. "Uh oh . . . I'm gonna make up for it now." But he never does. Classic.

2. Takum Bell's alleged theft. I know it just happened but stealing the stuff of a guy who just took your place is just a little too much.

1. Chad Ocho Cinco. Even worse than the fact that Chad Johnson legally changed his last name to Ocho Cinco is the explanation he gave for doing so.

* This story wouldn't make my top 3 but it's worth adding as the list gets longer. Come on, boys, you're not there yet! Raise your level!

Yes, They Can

2008-09-04T00:00:00.000-04:00

Of course I couldn't not mention the fact that Venus and Serena (you know their names) played an awesome quarterfinal last night. I don't have much to add here except to say that while it sucks that they had to play so early, I am SO proud of these girls. I'm just now watching the match (how did I live without DVR for so long?) and I can't help but wonder if Venus didn't throw this match. I say that because they are dead even in their head-to-head matches in Grand Slams and in the other tournaments, it's just a bit unbelievable that she's spraying shots and losing so many points on her own serve, especially since she was pretty much in control of the whole match - Serena only won three more points than her sister. But it's not totally unbelievable, so I'll cut Venus some slack. It has to be tough playing someone who knows you that well. It was tough for me to compete against my friends (especially when they cheated!) so I can imagine it's worse to play your sister.

For those who have been watching tennis for a while, you know how much the commentators hated on these girls before they'd ever played a professional tournament. I LOVED hearing Tracy Austin and John McEnroe have no choice but to gush over how great they are and how far they've come - from Compton to the biggest stage in the world - especially since they, along with Chrissy Evert, were the sisters' main detractors in the days of yore. And say what you want about their effort level, their dedication to the game, but these are the definition of awesome, and they are looking rather nice in their "old age" (by tennis standards). The career of an athlete is a blip on the radar of life compared to the career length of the typical 9 to 5'er. I'm all for working what you have while you have it.

So congratulations to both of these ladies. They've certainly earned it.

How Many More?

2008-09-03T02:25:00.015-04:00

So that "vacation" ended up being more of a hiatus that almost became permanent if not for the prodding of a few folks. So thanks to them - you know who you are. I'm now blogging on the same couch in a different state than the last time I was here. Other than that, not too much has changed. I am looking forward to September, though, because real sports finally return. I love Pardon the Interruption but I struggled to keep my interest with no sports of interest going on. That's one reason I like the fall. The other is the clothes. (Yes, I'm a woman, and I like clothes).

Now I had hoped to start it off with an interesting story, but not necessarily a tragic one. Unfortunately, life doesn't always go how we plan.

This one out of Jacksonville, Florida, home of the NFL's Jaguars, where tragedy struck over the holiday weekend when two players (one now former, since he was recently cut from the team) were involved in a shooting while waiting outside what the media is calling a "middle class neighborhood." One - Kenneth Pettway - was not hurt, the other - Richard Collier - was shot several times and is in critical but apparently stable condition. One can't help but think back on the Washington Redskins' Sean Taylor, who was killed nearly a year ago, also in Florida. I truly hope this one doesn't end like that one did.

Collier seemed to have an interesting story. After high school, thinking he didn't have the grades for college, he worked for two years at Wal-Mart. But then, he entered junior college and transferred to a Division II school where he excelled and learned the value of hard work. He never got drafted so he certainly expected to be where he was, and was probably was told he would never get where he was because of the choices he made in his life. He almost quit and went back to Wal-Mart until the Jaguars gave him his only crack at the big times, and he took it and ran with it.

I could take this and run with it, too, calling it another situation in which an athlete is in the wrong place at the wrong time, running with the wrong crowd. And that could be true. He could be another Mike Vick. It doesn't help that the storyline says that they were going to the house of women they had just met that evening.

While we don't know all of the details just yet, at the very least, we have another example of the extreme vigilance necessary to be a "have" in a sea of "have nots." But they aren't the only ones getting caught up. Right before I started writing, I caught a rare few moments of the local news and was saddened to hear about three children who lost their lives in three separate shootings this weekend, ones in which they "just happened" to be outside at the time. One of the mothers of the deceased children said she wished there was some kind of program to get these kids off the streets. (If all goes according to *my* plans in the election this year, we will.) But no program will work without buy-in from the rest of us, and buy-in means giving time to change things where we can, no matter how small. We can't get used to this, folks.

My prayers for a speedy recovery to Richard Collier.

Coming Soon: U.S. Open trip recap

2008-09-03T01:04:00.001-04:00

FYI, I did make it to the U.S. Open again this year. It's quickly becoming an enjoyable annual tradition. Stay tuned for my pics and post on my trip . . .

And another FYI . . . since Marat Safin did NOT stay in the tournament long enough for me to snap any pics of him, I'll use this one instead. (He did stay long enough to get fined, though). I don't think I could have captured this in person anyway.

No More Spin the Squid

2008-04-25T00:06:00.009-04:00

Because I like to switch it up, while I continue to enjoy my writing vacation, I thought I'd make my first mini-post about hockey.

For those who are not aware, the Detroit Red Wings have a tradition of throwing octopi on the ice. While I'd love to use this space to explain why this happens, it's probably easier for you just to click here.

Just in time for the second round of the NHL Playoffs (I know you've watched a game), the league has taken a page from the No Fun League and passed a rule banning the Red Wings' rink master, Al Sobotka, who has been driving the zamboni that cleans the ice for over 30 years, from twisting the octopus around his head and spinning it like a helicopter. According to the NHL, "matter flies off the octopus and gets on the ice when he does it." I have to believe that there are worse and perhaps more slippery things than octopus matter on the ice.

No penalty for the fan who throws the octopus on the ice in the first place, which it seems would be fairly easy to police. I guess hockey can't afford to turn away any fans, though, huh?

MYSF*: Kenny Smith's Hyperdunks Are Defective

2008-04-24T23:54:00.005-04:00

I will be back soon with regular posts, but this couldn't wait until Monday.

It gets funnier after multiple watchings. These guys deserve an Emmy!

*Usually it's Make Ya Smile Mondays, but like I said above, this one couldn't wait. Enjoy your weekend!

Running On the Other Side*

2008-03-20T10:47:00.004-04:00

Greetings from the other side of the world!

I am going to make this REALLY quick because I'm paying by the half hour but I had a few thoughts to drop:

1. Is the Miami Heat trying to get kicked down to the D-League? 54 points in a whole game? You're not even trying. Shame on you, Pat Riley. No excuse.

2. Today, the NCAA tournament kicks off. I'm not making any predictions, but I am making a request, and that is that I don't have to see Psycho T tearing down any nets. Please.

3. Right before I left, I heard Bob Knight complain about how some good teams don't make it into the tournament in favor of lesser teams that prevail in their confrence tournaments and how much of a travesty this is. I disagree. That's the beauty of the tournament. Smaller programs would never see the light of day much less get the opportunity to take down the nation's best teams if they did it any other way. We loved the New York Giants, we love Cinderellas. That's why people watch. But while an upset or two is nice, we don't want to see the Cinderella necessarily win the whole thing . . . at least I don't. It's fun for a little while but let's not get too carried away.

4. Andrew Bynum might return to the L.A. Lakers lineup just in time for the Lakers run through the playoffs. Man, this is going to be an interesting Western Conference finals. Over on the East, snooze city. I read an article in Time magazine in which readers got to ask questions of NBA Commissioner David Stern. One reader asked about the sorry state of the NY Knicks and whether he was concerned at all. Stern replied with the usual party line about this being a time to build and they'll be back. Ok, well when he gets over the shock of the poor ratings between East and West, I think he just might change his tune.

5. So top-ranked high school QB recruit Terrelle Pryor went with Ohio State as his college of choice. Michigan must be quite upset, but Pryor went with the possibility of sitting a year over coming in and starting in a program that I must admit is pretty darn good. And yes, it's no Michigan in terms of academics (although not shabby as one of the smartest lawyers - not an oxymoron - I know went there) but somehow I don't think that figured into the equation . . . All the best for a great career there, though, kid. Believe the hype, but not too much of it.

*Ode to an all-time fave by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. The song is much darker than I meant the title here to be, but it fit.

MYSM: NBA Beatings

2008-03-17T00:39:00.003-04:00

I will be out of the country for the next two weeks, but may have Internet access to post if I'm in the mood and not climbing a mountain or something.

Yes, that means I will miss most of the tournament but I'll be doing more exciting things - if that's possible.

I don't condone fighting, but some of these are funny. Who knew Shawn Bradley was on the First Team All-NBA A**-whooping? Some of them have clearly never been in a fight off the court.

Happy Monday!

P.S. To the Seattle Supersonics: If you're going to come out of the box not defending shots, you should skip the plane ride and just stay home. The Denver Nuggets couldn't have scored more points if they had been alone the entire game. Yikes.

Running with Scissors

2008-03-14T01:07:00.004-04:00

1. Greg Oden is practicing for the first time since the Portland Trailblazers lost their money on him. I, for one, am looking forward to seeing him return . . . and to him getting rid of this look. Anytime you can say "Damon Jones had that [haircut, outfit, etc.]," it's not usually a good sign.

2. Some "good" news for Michael Vick. His Virginia trial has been postponed indefinitely. Only a little more than a year and a half to go, Vick. Hang in there.

3. Apparently, I missed this story about Gisele Bundchen and LeBron James being on the cover of Vogue. LeBron joins the ranks of George Clooney and Richard Gere as the only men to make the cover. If I had to pick any three guys, that's definitely who I would have gone with . . .

4. Andy Roddick has decided to forego the Olympics in China to play the Legg Mason tournament in preparation for the U.S. Open. Is Roger Federer skipping the Open this year? Otherwise, go represent your country, Andy.

5. So it looks like I will miss the meat of March Madness but will be back in time for the Final Four. I am definitely trying to watch the games from my overseas location, and if it turns out to be interesting, I may just post something while I'm there. I know I said I would last week but I really mean it this time . . . really.

Continue To Be Outraged

2008-03-13T11:40:00.004-04:00

In the last few days, I have been following the story of Jamiel Andre Shaw, II.

If you haven't heard, Shaw was a promising young running back whose life was cut short last week when he didn't respond after being confronted by a gang member right outside his home. His mom was serving over in Iraq, and his dad was inside the house trying to warn his son about the gunshots he heard outside. But those gunshots were the ones that killed his son.

This story got even more attention because Shaw was being recruited by Stanford University and Arizona State University.

The story only got worse after I read Bill Simmons' article on the situation, where Simmons detailed how Shaw's dad had an "18-year plan" for his son. The plan entailed getting his son to his 18th birthday, after which he believed his son would have made it out of the treacherous years of life on the streets of L.A. He almost made it.

Apparently Shaw was not only talented but also a nice kid, which will prompt people to ask why something like this happened to such a good person.

I can't say that I know for sure, but I will say that sometimes we only pay attention to things when it happens to the best and brightest among us. How many more have to die before we really start doing something to make a difference?

It's not much in the scheme of things, but I'm taking my mentee to an NBA game tomorrow. Every little bit counts.

Free Running*

2008-03-11T02:48:00.004-04:00

1. We can finally put a fork in Dwyane Wade because this time he's really done. The Miami Heat have been done for much longer. They're actually tough to chew.

2. I knew I was forgetting something from last week. Harvard University, that esteemed Ivy League institution, is being accused of engaging in some NCAA recruiting violations. We knew Tommy Amaker was a winner, and we knew he had one heck of a recruiting class (one that beat Michigan, no less) but now we know why. Nothing like paying the players or any of that stuff, but setting up practices for recruits with guys, and that guy ends up being an assistant coach on your team. And that kid ends up at your program. Come on, Harvard, if you're going to break an NCAA rule, then you gotta come better than this.

3. And now Harvard is giving special gym time to the ladies because of six Muslim women so they don't have to cover up at the gym. The hours are two hour blocks three days a week but they are at peak times (8 to 10 a.m. and 3 to 5 p.m.). If I were the guys, I would probably be a tad pissed by this, which they are. Even the Crimson gave them the biz, saying this shows "a readiness to put minority interests ahead of the entire community." I'm not sure that I like or agree with the implications of that statement (made by a female reporter), but it seems that they could have certainly made a more reasonable accommodation for such a small minority of the school.

4. The New Jersey Nets broke the Houston Rockets winning streak. HA. No, not really. But what did happen that was of interest was pointed out by my friend. Apparently Richard Jefferson took it upon himself to dunk on 52 year old Dikembe Mutumbo and then do Mutumbo's signature finger wag, which merited Jefferson a technical foul from the officials. They say it was for taunting, I say he gets one for just being really, really whack.

5. 74 points in the first half in an Eastern Conference game? That's what the Orlando Magic put on the Atlanta Hawks. And this team, the Hawks, is still going to make the playoffs? Quote of the day, maybe the week: "If you can't stop anybody at any point in the game, you're not going to win," courtesy of Hawks head coach Mike Woodson. Truer words have never been spoken.

* This sport I keep seeing the commercial for but was not familiar . . . until now.

MYSM: Note to Self - Check To See If I Have Goodyear Tires

2008-03-10T02:53:00.004-04:00

So I know racing does not make it on here very often, but this rant by Tony Stewart was worth posting. Yes, Stewart came in second in the race, but even our winner, Dale Earnheardt, Jr., threw in his two cents about Goodyear tires.

Beyond the usual "tell us how you really feel," I'd like to ask if you can hear that sound? If you're asking yourself "What sound?" I'll give you a few options. Is it the sound of:

a) the guillotine coming down on the Goodyear tire design department
b) Goodyear stock crashing to the floor this morning
c) one million customers reconsidering having that set of Goodyears put on their car this morning, or
d) all of the above.

If you answered d, then give yourself a high five.

Happy Monday!

I'm Baaaaaack

2008-03-10T01:50:00.009-04:00

So I thought I might blog last week but I was having too much fun to pull out the laptop. Plus the Internet access at the hotel was only in the lobby or in the "business center" - it's hard to get inspiration in the business center.

But I am back - for the next week, at least - and I hear I missed a few things, like:

1. Brett Favre decided to pack it in. I knew when the website "accidentally" posted that he was retiring that something had to be up. I and everyone else (especially the NFL and its sponsors) will certainly miss him, but I am all for leaving while you're on top. It's all about primacy and recency - people remember what they saw first, and they remember what they saw last. Some people can get away with playing longer than they really should (i.e., Michael Jordan) but it's certainly not recommended. So enjoy the rest of your life, Mr. Fah-vruh. You seemed like a pretty good guy, on and off the field. All the best.

2. What is going on with the Chicago Bulls? First Tyrus Thomas misses practice for no explicable reason, and gets suspended for two games, then Chris Duhon is seen on national TV at the Duke-UNC game in Durham on Saturday night, a game which he did not receive permission to attend. And then he gets suspended a game for missing the morning shootaround because of some alleged issues with his wake-up call. Remember, it's "fall back, spring forward," Chris. Add that to the issues with Joakim Noah chewing out an assistant coach earlier in the season, and you have the personification of man vs. the establishment. This is the NBA, folks, not college. Let's try to do a little better.

3. The Houston Rockets are riding an 18-game winning streak, taking their 6th in a row since Yao Ming went down for the year. In the process, they've gone from 10th place in the Western Conference to 3rd. In a word, impressive. This was a team that was just barely keeping its head about the .500 mark and now they're gunning for the top spot in the conference. Let's try to do a little better. On Monday night the Rockets take on the New Jersey Nets. Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and chalk up #19 for them. I feel that I can say that without much hesitation at all. The Nets are borderline terrible but they still have a shot of making the playoffs. Yes, that does say a lot for the conference. A whole lot.

4. I watched this feature on SportsCenter about this sugar cane plantation of sorts in Florida where at least 48 NFL players have been bred. There are three high schools near this plantation, all of which won high school state football championships in their class. Part of this training involves chasing rabbits, which sounds like a great idea to develop quickness and agility. This feature was going well for me until they profiled one player who had finally caught a cotton tail rabbit - the first man in his family to do so. He seemed to be grabbing the rabbit rather roughly, but I didn't think much of it until ESPN cut to an aerial view of the frying pan where the player was cooking up the fruits of his labor. If I said that this was not how I expected this to end, that would be an understatement. Ugh.

5. If you didn't watch the game, hopefully you caught the clip of Shaquille O'Neal in the San Antonio Spurs/Phoenix Suns game on Sunday. In a solid effort to chase down a ball that was exiting the court, Shaq nearly killed everyone in the 3rd row of the not-so-cheap seats when he literally leapt into the crowd after (I can only assume) he lost his balance. That or he really was trying to kill someone. The fan who was to have died somehow managed to get out of the way (that split second in which Shaq bent his knees and looked at his target probably helped). Shaq weighs entirely too much to leap into a pool much less into other human beings who probably had no idea how close they came to losing their life for some courtside seats. It's just not as fun when you get killed and can't tell your cool story.

Pleats Goes On Vacation

2008-03-03T01:56:00.004-05:00

Very Funny - The most amazing bloopers are here

As the title implies (or should), I will be on vacation throughout the rest of this week, during which time I will probably not blog unless something happens that warrants leaving the beach to connect to the Internet. And I'm telling you right now that there really aren't too many things that would warrant such drastic, irrational behavior, but I don't like to say never.

I have provided you with a classic blooper video for Make Ya Smile Monday, but for the rest of the week, in the event that I do not post, please feel free to take the time to catch up on old posts. If you want to search the blog, you may find my Michael Vick, NCAA, and/or Isiah Thomas trial coverage to be of interest.

Happy Monday!